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Topic: I'm angry (Read 465 times) |
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PollyPocket
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I have a black cloud over me today. I am pissed off at the world. Bad fight last night. Ugly morning today.
I am mad at the asian flu pandemic.
I am mad that I have to be at work.
I am angry that people lost their homes and lives in Pakistan.
I am pissed that older peoples' bones get brittle and Doris broke her hip (vibes to her).
I am angry that llittle children get sick and Amanda was hospitalized. Glad she is better Paul.
I am madder than hell that Jasmyn had to go so long without meds.
I am pissed that we all have to deal with this shit day after day after day after day.
I hate everything today dammit. I think I need a shrink. I just want to throw something and I can't. And that really pisses me off.
I need a shrink. Don't respond to this. I just feel ugly inside.
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
"If I don't remember it happening, it never happened.  " - Tori
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Ghost
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Re: I'm angry
« Reply #1 on: Oct 18th, 2005, 8:18am » |
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Im just Mad at least my voices said I am.
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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Melissa
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Quote:
Too bad.
You need to let a lot of that shit go, or it'll end up eating you alive. Being pissed, or worrying, about stuff that you have absolutely NO control over, is a waste of energy and can be damaging to mental health. Trust me on this one.
BTW, if you wanna throw something, then THROW IT. If you are at work go to the bathroom and throw around a couple rolls of T.P. or staple the shit outta some papers.
*hugs*
mel
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vig
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CHit Happens
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Re: I'm angry
« Reply #3 on: Oct 18th, 2005, 8:35am » |
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Let it out Jennifer...
puhlenty to be pissed about, but that weight isn't on your shoulders.
do the best you can at what you do
hope you're feeling better soon
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never, Never, NEVER quit. -Winston Churchill
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LeLimey
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Re: I'm angry
« Reply #4 on: Oct 18th, 2005, 8:40am » |
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Good for you Jen for getting it out instead of keeping it in 
It does you good to have a bloody good rant when you're peeved so go for it.
Oh and you aren't alone... There are a fair few of us who like to have a good yell once in a while!
Hope you feel better for getting it off your chest but if not.. vent some more 
love
Helen X X X
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Opus
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Re: I'm angry
« Reply #5 on: Oct 18th, 2005, 9:02am » |
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Jennifer,
I'm glad that the bird flu took so long to come back, now we have a fighting chance.
I'm glad you have a job, becouse many others, including me do not.
I'm glad that so many peaple survived the quake, if it centered on a major city it would have been much worse.
I'm glad that there are treatments for broken hips, before you just died in pain.
I'm glad my daughter got the treatment she needed, and with full insurance coverage. I'm glad I don't live in a country where sick children just die.
I'm glad that Jasmyn got meds, and that a lot of us can. I'm glad that treatment for CH is getting better everyday.
I'm glad that you see how you feel is hurting you. I hope that you get the help you need real soon. I did when I needed it and it really did make a diffrence.
Try to find something good about today. I know it is hard but try anyway.
Opus/Paul
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Zed-Zed-nine plural-Zed alpha,
There is no place like home.
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seasonalboomer
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If I think hard enough maybe it'll go away.....
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Re: I'm angry
« Reply #6 on: Oct 18th, 2005, 9:28am » |
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Jennifer, you be careful or you'll 'splode. 
Turn off the T.V., skip tomorrow's paper and take a nice walk in the cool air of autumn.
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seasonal boomer
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Gator
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Re: I'm angry
« Reply #7 on: Oct 18th, 2005, 9:30am » |
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Wow, Paul. That was just awesome.
Go to the gym and have a go at the heavy bag, Jennifer. It won't cure the world's ills, but you may feel better afterwards.
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PollyPocket
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Re: I'm angry
« Reply #8 on: Oct 18th, 2005, 9:31am » |
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see, that's the thing. In my non ch life, I am an optimistic person.
only now, i'm this ugly person and all you guys see of me is her.
and now i feel even worse. sorry i bummed you out.
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
"If I don't remember it happening, it never happened. " - Tori
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sandie99
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Re: I'm angry
« Reply #9 on: Oct 18th, 2005, 11:24am » |
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Jennifer,
Vent away.
I'm glad you got all that out.
I bet it feels bit better now.
I worry about the world as well and I feel sad and angry about things which take place far away from me.
That's why I try to make life just little bit better for those near me in every way I can.
Take care,
Sanna
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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Cathi04
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Re: I'm angry
« Reply #10 on: Oct 18th, 2005, 11:31am » |
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Jennifer............scream and shout, wail and rant, rave and stomp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When you're all tuckered out, please go read Paul(Opus)'s post here.
Yeah, sometimes, things suck, but in the big picture, ya know tomorrow is gonna be better........
Here's a big hug for you, Jennifer. I hope it helps!
Cathi
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| « Last Edit: Oct 18th, 2005, 11:31am by Cathi04 » |
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lionsound
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breathe
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Re: I'm angry
« Reply #11 on: Oct 18th, 2005, 11:53am » |
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on Oct 18th, 2005, 9:31am, JenniferD wrote:| see, that's the thing. In my non ch life, I am an optimistic person. |
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I believe you
Quote:only now, i'm this ugly person and all you guys see of me is her.
and now i feel even worse. sorry i bummed you out. |
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You are not ugly at all. You have a right to feel angry if that's what you want....just don't let it get out of control and control you. Throw something (away from others )go for a walk, go for a sprint, write more here ...get that anger out. I like to go for a walk and throw something...there's a pond near my house that has really nice throwing rocks.
Some days I get angry too at seeing what the beast does to my family in my house and here. Some days I just don't get it at all. I hate to see those I care so much about suffer.
And if you think you need a shrink..call one up. Listen to what you are telling yourself you need.
You are not alone,
Be well and PF,
lionsound
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sassy_lady
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Re: I'm angry
« Reply #12 on: Oct 18th, 2005, 12:08pm » |
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get a bunching bag!! it works great!!! go to a gym do a work out!! Yell, scream, beat the sh!t out of a pillow!!
it helps!! been doing that my self lately!! had a good time yesterday with a hammer & some junk wood around the house !! took a hour bath & finely got some much needed sleep!! feel alot better today!! but get it out!!!! Trust me you will feel like a new woman!!
Lots of Prayers & Love Jolene
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Sandy_C
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Burn that bra!
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Re: I'm angry
« Reply #13 on: Oct 18th, 2005, 2:17pm » |
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[quote author=JenniferD li I just want to throw something and I can't. And that really pisses me off.
I need a shrink. Don't respond to this. I just feel ugly inside.
[/quote]
Well, I read your post this morning and didn't respond because you asked me not to. But, seeing as how others have responded - tough!
Wanna throw something, but you can't? Why not? DO IT! Just throw something! Make sure it IS breakable, but not too expensive to replace. Don't just toss it - heave that puppy as hard as you can against something that will guarantee massive breakage! Try not to hit another person though. If you do this, you will experience a tremendous feeling of power, downgrading of stress level, and above all, immense PLEASURE!
Go for it. I highly recommend it.
Sandy
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Jonny
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Re: I'm angry
« Reply #14 on: Oct 18th, 2005, 2:33pm » |
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on Oct 18th, 2005, 9:30am, Gator wrote:Wow, Paul. That was just awesome.
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Ill second that, Gator!
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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rextangle
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I am mad at the asian flu pandemic.
Diseases have been around this planet for centuries... it's actually nothing new. Not to say it's not horrible, but it's part of our world.
I am mad that I have to be at work.
A lot of us are... but we need a bit of $$$ don't we?
I am angry that people lost their homes and lives in Pakistan
It's happening worldwide... look in your backyard... Louisiana? Texas... and tons of other countries worldwide we never hear about. Again... it's nothing new!
I am pissed that older peoples' bones get brittle and Doris broke her hip (vibes to her).
Again, as tragic an ugly as this can be, it's part of the course of life
I am angry that llittle children get sick and Amanda was hospitalized. Glad she is better Paul.
That's why we're all here for each other. We can provide comfort and support for anyone suffering, young or old.
Get over the anger, and do something nice for them! It's good for the soul...
I am madder than hell that Jasmyn had to go so long without meds.
A lot of us have no insurance, and no meds, but this family does a pretty good job at helping each other... do the same!
I am pissed that we all have to deal with this shit day after day after day after day.
Me too, but learn to cope. I posted about that if you're interested. Flush it and move on!!! Don't dwell on it, you're giving bonus points to the beast by doing so...
I hate everything today dammit. I think I need a shrink. I just want to throw something and I can't. And that really pisses me off.
We all have days like this.. have a punkrock moment..
Break something! Say FUCK IT!
I need a shrink. Don't respond to this. I just feel ugly inside.
You don't need a shrink. Give me the money instead...
Only you can help yourself. Don't dump that responsibility on some guy with a framed diploma...
I truly hope this helps you. Keep your chin up and keep on rowing. Have you tried Yoga?
Mr. Happy, our resident Guru and Zenmaster has put together a nice little video to help your relax.... or freak out!
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Opus
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Re: I'm angry
« Reply #16 on: Oct 18th, 2005, 3:35pm » |
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on Oct 18th, 2005, 9:31am, JenniferD wrote:see, that's the thing. In my non ch life, I am an optimistic person.
only now, i'm this ugly person and all you guys see of me is her.
and now i feel even worse. sorry i bummed you out. |
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Jennifer,
No one sees you as ugly, we see ourselves in you because we know how the beast can mess us up. All we want to do is help.
Your post sounds like you could be clinically depressed, and if you are treatment with meds and consoling will make a difference. Remember that only a doctor can make a diagnoses.
Don't forget that CH is not only the pain but also changes in sleep cycles and hormone levels too. I'm sure there are even more changes that are unknown.
The reality is that CH is also called suicide headaches, and the threat is real. Please take care of yourself, we don't ever want to lose a member of our family.
Opus/Paul
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Zed-Zed-nine plural-Zed alpha,
There is no place like home.
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PollyPocket
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Re: I'm angry
« Reply #17 on: Oct 18th, 2005, 6:03pm » |
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Gawd you guys are somethin.
I really wanted to do the thingy with the hammer and the nails, but the pounding would've been a bit much for the head, ya know?
And couldn't do the throwing thing cuz the very conservative real estate office that i work for frowns upon such activity.
And I thought the walk sounded lovely, but by the time I got home and the usual chores got handled, it was dark and dinner had yet to be prepared.
So I got on here and read about popcorn artists.
And I laughed and smiled.
And I read notes and posts from people who genuinely give a rats ass about someone they've never even seen or even know for taht matter, who could be the biggetst bitch on the planet but hurt like hell after a night of battle with the beast and meds didn't work last night and the morning started so grey.
And you said things to make me think fuckin hard, bringing me back to the person I am. Or at least am when I am normal.
So I sit here cryin my fuckin eyes out, not so much in pain, cuz that is sort of a constant fuckin nagging shadow lurking bastard, but cuz I am tired. And I took it out on y'all. And you make me smile in spite of me. And i am genuinely happy when things go well for y'all and rejoice with you, and feel sad when things aren't going well for you, and be strong for you when you can't. Rignt now I'm not making much sense I know. But gawd you guys are somethin. And I truly truly love you.
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“Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It's all about timing.” - Stacey Charter
"If I don't remember it happening, it never happened. " - Tori
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stevegeebe
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Re: I'm angry
« Reply #18 on: Oct 18th, 2005, 7:08pm » |
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Can't top Paul but I am trying to not miss all of the lessons learned with the crap gone through and going through.
One thing that came to mind the othe day is something I'm still trying to consolidate.
The gist is that the results of your time here and the reward you receive here are truely based on the chance you have to do good things while you are alive. Why would such rotton things happen to the innocent if this life were so important and at the same time so short and desperate for some? I don't know who said it but true happiness in life can only be realized through serving others.
It's the chance to do well with the time you have. We are all given life which may not be so valuable. It's the chance to do do well that is crucial.
Steve G
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BobG
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Re: I'm angry
« Reply #19 on: Oct 18th, 2005, 7:18pm » |
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on Oct 18th, 2005, 8:21am, Melissa wrote:
If you are at work go to the bathroom and throw around a couple rolls of T.P. or staple the shit outta some papers.
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Or better yet,
Go into a stall and unroll about 10 feet of the T.P.
Put staples in it about every 3 inches.
Roll it back up very neatly.
Stand outside the door and wait for the next person to use that stall.
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Stay stressed. Never relax. Never sleep. Ever.
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Melissa
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LMFAO Bob! And now that you've quoted me, I just realized I have the words bathroom, TP & shit all in one sentence.  Ya know, if you count in the staples, then you have a new age cheap horror flick.
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Redneck
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No Jen, you are cool, beautiful,
I am the angry one , leave the ugly stuff to me. trust me 
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floridian
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on Oct 18th, 2005, 9:31am, JenniferD wrote:see, that's the thing. In my non ch life, I am an optimistic person.
only now, i'm this ugly person and all you guys see of me is her.
and now i feel even worse. sorry i bummed you out. |
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Not bummed out by your anger - inspired!! After about 8 years of getting kicked in the head by CH, I got angry and obsessive, and spent lots of my free time researching it. I learned alot to help myself, and others along the way.
The bird flu thing is a little different - if it does hit, it could hit hard and fast. So I am now spending lots of my time researching that, trying to contribute to the conversation. The best solution is probably a vaccine, but I am not in a position to do anything about that. But I do have a few ideas at my website:
http://www.med-owl.com/health/H5N1-Virus-Therapy.html
http://www.med-owl.com/herbal-antivirals/tiki-index.php
Some people think anger is a sin (and it can be). Not feeling anger when anger is called for is also a sin. The trick is to manage the anger, harness it to do good.
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Carl_D
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I was pretty fucking angry today too, so I understand... the world is full of shit and just waiting for a good flush.
Thing is, we spend so much time focusing on the bad things (telling myself this as well) that we lose sight of the really great things in this life.
Show me one clusterhead that is the same person when they are in cycle as opposed to out. CH will change you.
After becoming chronic, it changed me forever. I am so not the dude I was 9 years when I was still cool, everyone was at the door 24/7, playing gigs and parties, good job, love of my life, the party never ended.
Enter the Cluster-Dragon! Everyone waited for it to go away within a few weeks and when it didn't, I became a hermit, lost everything, the door was silent, no steady gigs, no job... and the beast decided he liked the misery he could provide. It is hard for a person to lose control, especially if you like to be in control.
Yes, being chronic has changed me...
I've learned to take NOTHING for granted! I keep thinking of how I want things to be, and not wanting to have it any other way. One thought popped into my head and stuck today. It seemed rather profound.
Everyone wants to walk on water, but no one wants to hang on a cross. You can't have the magic without the tragic.
Hope tomorrow is a better day for you Jen,
Carl "Mack" D
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