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Topic: Top 10 Signs You Are Suffering From Sleep Dep!!! (Read 317 times) |
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Carl_D
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Top 10 Signs You Are Suffering From Sleep Dep!!!
« on: Oct 17th, 2005, 3:17am » |
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Okay, so how I deal with serious shit sometimes is to not take it so serious. Once in an ER was asked while in major pain if I was allergic to anything. I responded "Cats. Don't shoot me up with any cats."
So, after walking the town today and being in denail about my leg not wanting to work (doing it's annual fall screw you thing) I just thought up some of the craziest shit and kept myself pretty amused.
Here's my TOP 10 Signs You Are Suffering From Sleep Deprivation!
10. Everyone you know that you run into you call "Dude" because names just escape you.
09. You go into the local Kentucky Fried Chicken and demand to speak to the Colonial
08. You begin to hear voices in your head, but lose interest in the conversation shortly after
07. You find a new appreciation for the wonderful soothing muzak of Phil Collins (Oh wait, I'll save that for "Top 10 Signs You Think You Might Be On Bad Medication" )
06. While watching a Flintstone's cartoon you suddenly begin unlocking key secrets to the universe that have baffled mankind for centuries
05. You wonder why your dog hasn't ate the food in his dish for the past week and then realize you don;t even own a dog
04. You begin studying the art of skipping as you walk
03. You have a photographic memory with no film in the camera
02. Woody Allen seems like a very attractive guy who has his head on straight, and would like to see him run for Governor of your State
01. You feel very drunk, stoned and high beyond belief without the aid of any drug or drink. You tell yourself "Chin up... some people pay damn good money to feel like this!"
and now on a serious note... I shall whine...
What is worse is.... everytime I do start to drowse off, all I can see is this...
And here I thought House of 1000 Corpses was disturbing!!! 
Living Dangerously,
Mack
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Sandy_C
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Re: Top 10 Signs You Are Suffering From Sleep Dep!
« Reply #1 on: Oct 17th, 2005, 6:07pm » |
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Shit, Carl! LMAO!
Can I add one? Watching re-runs of the Andy Griffith show and really, really identifying with Goober and Barney.
Sandy
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Langa
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Re: Top 10 Signs You Are Suffering From Sleep Dep!
« Reply #2 on: Oct 17th, 2005, 6:51pm » |
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These are great..! Thanks Carl! 
Langa
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Carl_D
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Re: Top 10 Signs You Are Suffering From Sleep Dep!
« Reply #3 on: Oct 17th, 2005, 7:10pm » |
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All of my friends for years have tried to get me to do stand up comedy. I can be funny, and have no stage fear since being on one either playing music or later teaching, and then a few years back doing comedy improv (which was FUN AS ALL GET OUT) and I am a ham onstage. However, I FEAR ever trying to attempt stand up. I'm a thinkin though with some of the bizarre stuff I come up with, maybe trying an open night mic while mega sleep deprived and bouncing off the walls.
I've been writing some skits since I did the "Star Trek: The Jackass Picture" (which almost made my buddy Chris piss himself the other night reading, LOL). I was glad to see someone rolling like that over something so demented.
How about a "Blake/Simpson Dating Connection" piece....LMAO!!!
OJ: Are you tired of being single? Is it killing you being all alone?"
Robert: If so, there are thousands of singles, just like you, dying to meet someone like yourself, or even me and OJ here.
OJ: At Blake/Simpson Dating Connection you can find the one that's right for you.
Robert: And remember, you can be as open as you want, or meet discreetly in the privacy of your own home. So give us a call at 1-800-KILLER-DATE
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Annette_Emond
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Re: Top 10 Signs You Are Suffering From Sleep Dep!
« Reply #4 on: Oct 17th, 2005, 7:27pm » |
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Carl.... you are getting veeeeeeeeerrrrrrry sleeeeeeeepy, concentrate on the sound of my voice, you are getting veeeeeeerrrrrryyyy sslllllleeeeeeeepppppyyyyyy
Hang in there bud.
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Happiness runs in a circular motion..
you can sometimes come back around to what you thought was done.
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Carl_D
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Re: Top 10 Signs You Are Suffering From Sleep Dep!
« Reply #5 on: Oct 17th, 2005, 7:39pm » |
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on Oct 17th, 2005, 7:27pm, Annette_Emond wrote:Carl.... you are getting veeeeeeeeerrrrrrry sleeeeeeeepy, concentrate on the sound of my voice, you are getting veeeeeeerrrrrryyyy sslllllleeeeeeeepppppyyyyyy
Hang in there bud. |
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Thanks Annette. I actually got 6 hours today which I am thrilled over, just as long as it isn't for the week.
I am going to try an alternative sleep aid tonight...listening to side one of "Helen Reddy: The Las Vegas Years"
which should either make me fall asleep, or throw me into anaphylactic shock, one of the two.
Peace & Love,
Carl
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cootie
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Re: Top 10 Signs You Are Suffering From Sleep Dep!
« Reply #6 on: Oct 17th, 2005, 11:20pm » |
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How bout forgetting where you parked at Walmart and lookin like a stalker with a cart in the parking lot goin up and down the rowsover and over talking to yourself. I signed one of my checks 'Walmart' instead of my name. Baked some stuff and left out HALF the ingredients cuz I skipped a few lines on the recipie. Lost the pepper for 3 days.......bought stuff at the store and stashed it away and got busy doin other stuff and never found it cuz my mind was elsewhere. Missed my road and took me a half hour extra to get home from dazeing out. Threw dog food in the water bowl. Forgot to add soap to the laundry......called people and forgot WHO I called when they answer'd. Tried stuff on at the store and TOLD MYSELF I looked like an idiot loud enuff for the person in the next dressing room to hear me. Oh the list goes on......all real life true things. Life with Pammie
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| « Last Edit: Oct 17th, 2005, 11:22pm by cootie » |
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BMoneeTheMoneeMan
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Re: Top 10 Signs You Are Suffering From Sleep Dep!
« Reply #7 on: Oct 17th, 2005, 11:57pm » |
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Good ones Carl. Man, the sleep is a killer.
PF wishes
BMonee
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Dave_Emond
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Re: Top 10 Signs You Are Suffering From Sleep Dep!
« Reply #8 on: Oct 18th, 2005, 12:28am » |
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Well, lets see:
I've gone from BoD, to Prez, to Tolstoy and now think of myself as the Court Jester 
After only getting about 2 1/2 hours sleep over the last 3 and a half days, the sun was out today. I went for a ride on my scooter over to a park that has workout equipment. Now, I've tried in my weakened state to try some pullups ... today I finally managed one! Then fall to the soft ground underneath.
After crusin' around for awhile I came across another station, this one had one of those rung ladders. So, of course I thought surley I could cross that without falling.
You got it ... after 3 rungs I was losing strength fast. So just get myself swinging and I'll get to that next rung 
I flipped and landed on my back, hitting my head and whole body so sore. (Wished I noticed the ground there was asphalt instead of the wood chips!) People were around, but no one came over to help me up, so I went to my "turtle roll" try to get back on my stomach. I had to look ridiculous floppy around and crawling back to my chair.
Annette figures they all left me there to learn a lesson on how stupid I had to be to have tried that.
If anything, at least I passed out for a few hours when I got home 
Yep .. sleep deprivation doesn't do much for the mind
Dave
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Ghost
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Re: Top 10 Signs You Are Suffering From Sleep Dep!
« Reply #9 on: Oct 18th, 2005, 8:04am » |
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This has to be on the list somewhere too.
What your wife says makes sense.
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Donna_D.
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Re: Top 10 Signs You Are Suffering From Sleep Dep!
« Reply #10 on: Oct 18th, 2005, 4:12pm » |
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Hope you get some rest soon, Carl...
Sending some help to ya....
Hope they can do the trick!
DD
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KingOfPain
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Re: Top 10 Signs You Are Suffering From Sleep Dep!
« Reply #11 on: Oct 18th, 2005, 6:39pm » |
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Funny stuff Carl.
Cute Pic DD.
on Oct 17th, 2005, 11:20pm, cootie wrote:| How bout forgetting where you parked at Walmart and lookin like a stalker with a cart in the parking lot goin up and down the rowsover and over talking to yourself. I signed one of my checks 'Walmart' instead of my name. Baked some stuff and left out HALF the ingredients cuz I skipped a few lines on the recipie. Lost the pepper for 3 days.......bought stuff at the store and stashed it away and got busy doin other stuff and never found it cuz my mind was elsewhere. Missed my road and took me a half hour extra to get home from dazeing out. Threw dog food in the water bowl. Forgot to add soap to the laundry......called people and forgot WHO I called when they answer'd. Tried stuff on at the store and TOLD MYSELF I looked like an idiot loud enuff for the person in the next dressing room to hear me. Oh the list goes on......all real life true things. Life with Pammie |
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cootie!
Too funny.
Hi Brad.
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We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter.
- Denis Diderot
Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends. - Euripides
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Carl_D
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Re: Top 10 Signs You Are Suffering From Sleep Dep!
« Reply #12 on: Oct 18th, 2005, 11:08pm » |
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Looks like I jinxed myself yet again by saying I hoped the 6 hours monday morning wasn't for the week. Sheesh! No sleep. Dammit! 
More sleep dep signs:
You find yourself seeking therapy after walking in on your stuffed animals only to find them engaged in an orgy.
You walk out in traffic just as cars are starting to pull into it.
The new plaid suit you just bought might be a tip off if the lime green suit wasn't.
You go to the local post-office and once you reach the counter bow and ask "What is thy bidding oh dark lord?"
You're totally convinced that FOAMY the SQUIRRELL is indeed the Lord and Master of the universe. (FOAMY - He must be seen to be believed)
You get pulled over by a cop and ask "Is there a problem Muffin?"
Worse yet, the cop says you were speeding and you find yourself responding "Give me a break officer, I've been drinkin'.
You're camping out for Barry Manilow/ Liza Minnelli tickets.
The dog pissed on the floor again. Once more, you realize you don't own a dog.
You get a drink out of the toilet and take a piss in the fridge
You think Simon Cowell from American Idol is a sweet, kind man.
You watch American Idol - and think?
You begin talking in a slow Jack Nicholson psychotic style voice unintentionally.
You think Jack Black is your long lost brother, and wonder why he was the one who wound up with the good looks and talent
The BIGGEST SIGN that you are suffering sleep deprivation...
You are digging through your pockets ferociously for the key to the house, and start to freak - only to realize you stuck them in the keyhole already before you checked the mailbox! DOH!!!
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cootie
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Re: Top 10 Signs You Are Suffering From Sleep Dep!
« Reply #13 on: Oct 18th, 2005, 11:47pm » |
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You stumble into the bathroom and sit on the toilet seat and start to go before you realize it. Splatter matter Pam
Yup........have also stuck dinner in the oven and checked on it an hour later and guess what........cold STUFF tonight !!
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Cause and Effect......"Cause is the effect concealed, Effect is the cause revealed"
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KingOfPain
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Re: Top 10 Signs You Are Suffering From Sleep Dep!
« Reply #14 on: Oct 19th, 2005, 2:50am » |
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11. You are reading this thread right now [2:50am].
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Arrived August, 1999.
We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter.
- Denis Diderot
Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends. - Euripides
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Carl_D
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Re: Top 10 Signs You Are Suffering From Sleep Dep!
« Reply #15 on: Oct 19th, 2005, 3:53am » |
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Another sign:
When you are on your way home and forget where you live!
No sleep til ??????????????
Grrrrrrrrrr - FUCK!!!
BTW DD - When I count sheep, they don't hop over the fence... I shear 'em, whack 'em, hack 'em and throw them on the grill... their number isn't up until the lambchops are done.
SDB (sick Demented Bastard)
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| « Last Edit: Oct 19th, 2005, 3:55am by Carl_D » |
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