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Topic: Sorry I've Been MIA! (Read 310 times) |
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Lizzie2
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Sorry I've Been MIA!
« on: Oct 12th, 2005, 4:32pm » |
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I bet you've all been sitting here thinking, "Hmm...I haven't read any long rambling posts by Lizzie2 in awhile! I miss those posts...!"
Haha Yeah right...
But anyways. Today was my 3rd day in a row of caring for an infant who will soon leave this earth (and no, she's not heading to outer space...well, depending on what you believe...LOL!) I worked 7a-7p monday and tuesday, and yesterday was definitely the epitome of bad days. I had her again today from 7a-3p and again tomorrow from 7a-3p. Each morning when I go in, I feel like I'm holding my breath until I find out if she's still there.
Tomorrow is my last day of orientation. I understand that I'm getting some very good experience taking care of this infant, but at the same time, I feel very emotionally drained. I know we're waiting for the inevitable, and yesterday when I also had a baby to take care of that was being discharged and eating from a bottle, I almost cried. I just wanted to hold him all day long out of relief.
Today I had another baby in addition to the very sick one, and she also is fairly sick, but still very active, and I never thought I'd be so happy to hear crying. In fact, I'm thrilled to hear it. I have both of the same 2 tomorrow. So again tomorrow I will hold my breath. I swear last night I had nightmares about all this. Almost a shell shock of just working with her for hours on end.
Still battling the beast. I have my O2 and use it if I'm home. Been trying to use either Amerge or Frova during the days I work, but sometimes I don't have all that much success...like today. Hit 3 times from when I left home until I got home. Umm...there's no way to describe it other than it just sucks to get hit in public. Not to mention the fact that I canNOT step out sometimes. There's just no way. Today I have to send away for my one med because I haven't even had time to order my own prescriptions for my own health care needs - too busy with the little ones'. 
The nice side is that I am dating someone new. hehe He's coming over this evening so we can go cell phone shopping since he's dropped his phone too many times, and mine had like 4 pieces fall off when I took it off the charger and opened it to put it back in its little case this morning. I didn't have time to be dealing with that because I had to catch the train about 8 minutes later. LOL Hopefully it'll be a nice and stress free evening! 
Anyways - that's why I've been MIA. I'm sorry (especially to Frank) to those who IM me and I can't talk. I dont' feel like talking a lot of the time because I'm just completely drained. I have nothing left. And I can't get my mind off of my day sometimes. But I'm still here and still reading and still sending all the vibes I have to those who need them!
There. Now you've gotten a long rambly post from me. Don't you feel better?
Love and hugs,
Carrie/Lizzie2
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Ghost
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Re: Sorry I've Been MIA!
« Reply #1 on: Oct 12th, 2005, 4:43pm » |
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WOW! Was that good for anyone else? 
You are an angel. 
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Ronny
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Re: Sorry I've Been MIA!
« Reply #2 on: Oct 12th, 2005, 4:43pm » |
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Oh Lizzie,
I feel sorry for you, dealing with clusters and have to work like that. I also feel very sorry for that kid
I hope you'll catch a break soon!
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Jeepgun
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Re: Sorry I've Been MIA!
« Reply #3 on: Oct 12th, 2005, 4:50pm » |
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Hang in there, Lizzie. It's tough to deal with ailing newborns... Thank you for being willing to do it. I think that takes a special kind of strength.
Congrats on the new beau and best wishes to you both.
-Frank
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jcmquix
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Re: Sorry I've Been MIA!
« Reply #4 on: Oct 12th, 2005, 4:51pm » |
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Hi..
Glad to see you are back, missed ya...
God Bless Ya
Charlie
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Lizzie2
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Re: Sorry I've Been MIA!
« Reply #5 on: Oct 12th, 2005, 4:53pm » |
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Well okay let me share the silly tidbits, too....
I did learn that "Shit" "Damnit" and "Son of a..." are probably not the best words to utter when something goes wrong in a neonatal unit. 
Thanks for the kind words. I'm no angel....maybe a devil in disguise...teehee
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vig
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Re: Sorry I've Been MIA!
« Reply #6 on: Oct 12th, 2005, 4:56pm » |
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on Oct 12th, 2005, 4:43pm, ghost62 wrote:WOW! Was that good for anyone else?
You are an angel.
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I got the same buzz.
way to go Lizzie!
keep up the good work
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never, Never, NEVER quit. -Winston Churchill
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Melissa
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on Oct 12th, 2005, 4:53pm, Lizzie2 wrote:Well okay let me share the silly tidbits, too....
I did learn that "Shit" "Damnit" and "Son of a..." are probably not the best words to utter when something goes wrong in a neonatal unit.
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Why? The babies don't know any better. Shit, I swore profusively around my daughter until she spoke her first word.  Ain't I a GREAT mother??
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LeLimey
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Re: Sorry I've Been MIA!
« Reply #8 on: Oct 12th, 2005, 5:15pm » |
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My daughters first word WAS shit.. not one of my prouder memories but hey.. I can't change it !
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Ronny
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Re: Sorry I've Been MIA!
« Reply #9 on: Oct 12th, 2005, 5:16pm » |
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on Oct 12th, 2005, 5:00pm, Melissa wrote:
Why? The babies don't know any better. Shit, I swore profusively around my daughter until she spoke her first word. Ain't I a GREAT mother?? |
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Yea, but what was her first word???
Something like: fuck i'm hungry
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Melissa
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Re: Sorry I've Been MIA!
« Reply #10 on: Oct 12th, 2005, 6:07pm » |
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on Oct 12th, 2005, 5:16pm, Ronny wrote:
Yea, but what was her first word???
Something like: fuck i'm hungry |
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Nope, it was Mama .
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Melissa
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Re: Sorry I've Been MIA!
« Reply #11 on: Oct 12th, 2005, 6:09pm » |
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Hey Carrie, did ya see this recent article??
Quote:Cooling Newborns May Help Protect Brains By The Associated Press
1 hour, 52 minutes ago
Chilling a newborn's entire body can help prevent or reduce brain damage caused by lack of oxygen during difficult births, research suggests.
However, experts say the results are too preliminary and in conflict with previous research for the treatment to be used outside of medical studies.
"Widespread application of brain cooling ... would be premature," Dr. Lu-Ann Papile, a neonatologist at the University of New Mexico Health Sciences Center, wrote in an editorial accompanying the study in Thursday's New England Journal of Medicine. She had no role in the study.
Between 60,000 and 80,000 of the 4 million babies born in the United States each year are at high risk of death or disability because of birth problems that deprive them of oxygen.
Cooling the body a few degrees — mild hypothermia — reduces the brain's need for oxygen and slows other processes that can lead to brain damage. The treatment helps adults recover after cardiac arrest, and animal studies suggest it might help babies deprived of oxygen.
A pilot study in newborns found no benefit. But the new study was the largest to test the technique. It was led by doctors at Wayne State University in Detroit, involved 15 children's hospitals around the country and was funded by the federal government.
Newborns were randomly assigned to get usual care or the hypothermia treatment. It involves placing the babies on a special blanket containing chilled water that lowers their temperature to 92.3 degrees for three days, then gradually rewarms them back to normal, around 98.6 degrees.
Babies were evaluated 18 to 22 months later.
Death or significant disability, such as cerebral palsy, occurred in only 45 of the 102 infants whose bodies were cooled, compared with 64 of the 103 babies who received normal care.
No significant side effects, such as heart rhythm problems, occurred with the treatment.
Two large studies are under way that within two years should better reveal the potential for hypothermia treatment, Papile wrote.
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Pretty cool huh?
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Charlie
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Re: Sorry I've Been MIA!
« Reply #12 on: Oct 12th, 2005, 6:09pm » |
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Quite a story Lizzie. You're doing good work kid.
My sorta neice's first word group was "son of a bitch." Tom and Cindy have been more careful and I'm not allowed to open my mouth without serious censorship. Alas, a losing battle. 
Charlie
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jimmers
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Re: Sorry I've Been MIA!
« Reply #13 on: Oct 12th, 2005, 6:14pm » |
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Lizzie,
My wife and I had to basically lived in the NICU for 61 days due to the birth of my son who was a preeme. 1lb. 9oz. I have never met you, but I'll tell you this. YOU ARE ONE SPECIAL PERSON!  If it weren't for people like you helping us and guiding us along, I'm not sure we would have made it. So If you dissapear from the board for awhile, Go ahead! I got your back, because I know you have plenty to do. Thank you for being you! And give hugs to all the other NICU nurses for me(If they are cute) LMAO
Seeya,
Jimmers and Family
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Edna
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Re: Sorry I've Been MIA!
« Reply #14 on: Oct 12th, 2005, 7:31pm » |
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Carrie,
Thank you!!! You're doing a wonderful job, and even with the child that is just a matter of time. Think of it as still doing good. YOU are there, spreading love, and for that, you're doing something special.
Hope the head eases for you.
AND, did anyone miss the all important!!!! A new beau?? Well, dearie, we want news!!!
Wishing you all the best,
hugs,
EDNA
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KMT
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Re: Sorry I've Been MIA!
« Reply #15 on: Oct 12th, 2005, 9:00pm » |
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 Lizzie2=a very special person. A wonderful nurse. Sorry the head has to add to the draining praying relief comes to you soon...Kim
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aka...................................................... KimY
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nani
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Re: Sorry I've Been MIA!
« Reply #16 on: Oct 12th, 2005, 9:21pm » |
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It takes a very special person to do what you do, Carrie. God bless you. All you can do for that little angel is to make her time here count. Every interaction is a chance to show her what a special little soul she is. And when it's time for her to move on, you both will have gotten something from the experience. I'm sending prayers for both of you. And all the babies.
hugs, nani
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Jasmyn
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Re: Sorry I've Been MIA!
« Reply #17 on: Oct 12th, 2005, 9:24pm » |
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Re: Sorry I've Been MIA!
« Reply #18 on: Oct 12th, 2005, 10:17pm » |
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I couldn't do what you do, so thank you
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aprilbee
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Re: Sorry I've Been MIA!
« Reply #19 on: Oct 13th, 2005, 8:59am » |
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I had to bring this back up to the top...Lizzie, you ARE an angel....not many people could do what you are doing...Hang in there, that baby knows your there and I am sure you are making her last days on earth special...
hugs and kisses to you!! oh congrats on the new beau also!!!
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mrs mac
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Re: Sorry I've Been MIA!
« Reply #20 on: Oct 13th, 2005, 9:05am » |
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way to go carrie!!!!
you are doing an amazing job there!!!
hope the heads aren't too bad
tc
mrs mac xxxxxxx
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LeLimey
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Re: Sorry I've Been MIA!
« Reply #21 on: Oct 13th, 2005, 10:11am » |
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Oh Lizzie you is in beeeg chrubble!
A new fella and no girly gossips yet? Sheesh!
Get onto chat sometime okay?!
love
Helen
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Lizzie2
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Re: Sorry I've Been MIA!
« Reply #22 on: Oct 13th, 2005, 6:53pm » |
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Awww you guys are too sweet. You definitely made me smile. I look like I haven't slept in a month because I'm so tired....but I have off tomorrow! Just in time to transition to night shift!!! Booyah.. But only one day of night shift.
Today was my last day on orientation. And my first day OFF orientation is on Saturday night. While everyone else is out partying, I'll be working! AHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhh But I do love night shift. Then I transition right back to days for next week.
Mel - We're a huge coordinating center for the head cooling study in the north east. Awhile back, I posted the links to the articles and a picture of a baby that was on head cooling at Jefferson that I took care of. This was back in May. Here's the pic again of what it looks like when a baby is on head cooling: (This is not a personal photo - it was published in the Philadelphia Inquirer as a cover page story on Head Cooling in May)
When I had this baby, he was actually doing very well. However, head cooling is...well...I suppose it's a blessing and a curse. Sometimes we save babies who've b een essentially dead for 20 minutes. Head cooling is seen as a last ditch effort. And then a lot of times they turn into children with no functional brain. They have an anatomic brain, but they're not able to connect to real life at all. It really is a big challenge. I carried one around for 45 minutes one night and she just wailed for like 4 straight hours - very droning cry which is a neuro cry. I was holding her at like 10pm just trying to get her to calm down a bit. We tried bouncing around the room. We went bouncing into the room next door. We looked out the window at the pretty city lights. It didn't work hehe So...it can be quite sad. Not sure how I feel about head cooling just yet!
As for my little one today. She actually tolerated some respiratory changes on the ventilator a little better today. She even opened her eyes at one point. So I just bent down next to her and talked to her for a few minutes. I'm not kidding. I guess I had to do it for me and for her. She's in some pretty bad pain, so I do give her extra doses of the pain meds as needed. Heartbreaking....
My other little one was a ball of fire as usual. Still status quo on her problems, but I totally love her. Wish she wasn't in an isolette on humidity or else I'd cart her around with me all day long while I work. She totally is so cute and funny.
So yeah...it's ups and downs and ups and downs. Tuesday night I didn't even want to be a nurse anymore. It was too sad and the nightmares that come with taking care of a dying child are pretty rough. But in the end, I love working with the babies.
The hours, however, might just kill me LOL Tomorrow I'm going to do some retail therapy. Didn't get my new cell phone yet and I also need to get a few things for my preceptors. Should have had them ready before I finished so I could have given them the gifts as parting thank-yous, but I didn't get my act together! I can't believe I'm off orientation!!!!!!
Thanks somuch again for all the messages. Really made my day and made me smile lots.
Helen - IM me next time you're online and I'll tell ya more of the gossip yer missin out on....teeheehee
Luv,
Lizzie
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sandie99
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Re: Sorry I've Been MIA!
« Reply #23 on: Oct 14th, 2005, 11:59am » |
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Carrie,
you ARE an angel...
I have told you that I admire a lot what you do. Like it has been said, not all of us could do what you do. Just take care of you as well, okay?
And let us ALL know all the gossip about your new fella, okay?
Or, you know, IM Helen & me...
Let's talk at Skype sometime, okay?
PFDANs,
Sanna
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mcf69
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Re: Sorry I've Been MIA!
« Reply #24 on: Oct 14th, 2005, 12:00pm » |
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on Oct 12th, 2005, 4:32pm, Lizzie2 wrote:| The nice side is that I am dating someone new. hehe He's coming over this evening so we can go cell phone shopping since he's dropped his phone too many times, and mine had like 4 pieces fall off when I took it off the charger and opened it to put it back in its little case this morning. I didn't have time to be dealing with that because I had to catch the train about 8 minutes later. LOL Hopefully it'll be a nice and stress free evening! |
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Bummer Carrie, I was just thinking of asking you to marry me so I could have a good reference source for nursing school...... Seriously though, it's good to hear that you're alive and doing well besides the stress of work and headaches. I honestly don't know how you can do the pediatric stuff, I think I'd rather deal with screaming adults than a tiny person who can't tell me whats wrong. Hang in there kiddo, and keep up the great work......
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