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Topic: What is Your Excuse??? (Read 637 times) |
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Ghost
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What is Your Excuse???
« on: Oct 11th, 2005, 8:45am » |
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Survey finds plenty of fake excuses for skipping work
10/10/2005 3:43 PM
By: Associated Press
CHICAGO -- Ever called work and said you were sick on a beautiful, sunny day? Sure you have, and a new survey shows you have plenty of company.
According to CareerBuilder.com's annual survey of absenteeism at the office, 43 percent of workers said they called in sick with bogus excuses at least once during the last year.
In the 2004 survey, only 35 percent admitted to fibbing. The survey also shows some hiring managers are catching on, with 23 percent saying they'd fired an employee for missing work without a legitimate reason.
CareerBuilder.com said the more creative excuses for missing work included
“I'm too drunk to drive to work''
“The ghosts in my house kept me up all night''
“I'm too fat to get into my work pants''
“My son accidentally fell asleep next to wet cement in our backyard. His foot fell in and we can't get it out”
So What was your excuse?    
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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Langa
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Re: What is Your Excuse???
« Reply #1 on: Oct 11th, 2005, 8:50am » |
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I never call in sick on a beautiful, sunny day... 
Langa
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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Ghost
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Re: What is Your Excuse???
« Reply #2 on: Oct 11th, 2005, 8:54am » |
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My favorite was when I was in Navy I called my Chief and told him I was to healthy to come in and he actually told me because I was so honest I could take off and go surfing. Was in San Diego early 80's in May. It was beautiful out best day of my life.
That day is the one I try to think about when I get depressed.
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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ExplodingEyeBall
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Re: What is Your Excuse???
« Reply #3 on: Oct 11th, 2005, 8:55am » |
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[Me talking to my boss on the phone at 6:00 A.M.]
Me: Nick?
Nick: Yeah... What's up Pat?
Me: Um... I can't make it in to work today. I'm gonna have to use a sick day.
Nick: OK. What's wrong?
Me: It's so nice out that if I have to spend 8 hours at my desk, I'll go insane and hurt innocent people.
Nick: OK. I'll see you tomorrow.
I've got a cool boss.
BTW: This exact conversation actually took place this summer.
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| « Last Edit: Oct 11th, 2005, 8:57am by ExplodingEyeBall » |
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Just poke out my eye and get it over with!!!
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giffy76
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Re: What is Your Excuse???
« Reply #4 on: Oct 11th, 2005, 9:09am » |
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Me, talking to my boss at 6 am
Beth; What! (caller id.)
Me; What color panties are you wearing?
Beth; You'r sick!
Me; That's why i'm calling 
She's pretty cool too!!
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Ghost
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Re: What is Your Excuse???
« Reply #5 on: Oct 11th, 2005, 9:11am » |
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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Langa
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Re: What is Your Excuse???
« Reply #6 on: Oct 11th, 2005, 9:25am » |
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on Oct 11th, 2005, 9:09am, giffy76 wrote:Me, talking to my boss at 6 am
Beth; What! (caller id.)
Me; What color panties are you wearing?
Beth; You'r sick!
Me; That's why i'm calling
She's pretty cool too!! |
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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Jeepgun
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BOHICA!!!
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Re: What is Your Excuse???
« Reply #7 on: Oct 11th, 2005, 9:37am » |
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I AM the boss. The conversation goes something like this:
"I don't fucking feel like going to work today. I think I'll roll over and go back to sleep."
The End.
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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sandie99
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Re: What is Your Excuse???
« Reply #8 on: Oct 11th, 2005, 10:27am » |
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Clusterheadaches!
But I never used that on a sunny day, but on one cloudy day when I had a kip 9 during a lecture... 
During all the days before and after diagnosis I have left lecture before it ended only once. What can I say? I'm too good... 
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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Langa
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Re: What is Your Excuse???
« Reply #9 on: Oct 11th, 2005, 11:01am » |
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Quote:| "I don't fucking feel like going to work today. I think I'll roll over and go back to sleep." |
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Hating you right now... 
Langa
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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don
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Re: What is Your Excuse???
« Reply #10 on: Oct 11th, 2005, 11:17am » |
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Me: Hey boss. Ran out of psyche meds.
Boss: Stay home! PLEASE stay home.
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Jeepgun
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BOHICA!!!
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Re: What is Your Excuse???
« Reply #11 on: Oct 11th, 2005, 1:38pm » |
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on Oct 11th, 2005, 11:01am, Langa wrote:
Hating you right now...
Langa |
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Actually, the truth of the matter is, I end up arriving before anyone else, and staying long after everyone else has gone home to their families. Such is life.... No complaints, though... 
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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echo
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Re: What is Your Excuse???
« Reply #12 on: Oct 11th, 2005, 2:39pm » |
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Me: Boss I need the day off.
Boss: Why?
Me: I have eye problems.
Boss: What's wrong?
Me: I just can't see myself coming to work today.
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Me: I have to take today off.
Boss: What is it this time.
Me: My one armed grandmother is coming to town with two suitcases and I need to be at the airport to help her carry one.
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"If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it".
Proud Dad of a US Marine, and a former Marine turned Police Officer.
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Ghost
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Re: What is Your Excuse???
« Reply #13 on: Oct 11th, 2005, 3:05pm » |
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on Oct 11th, 2005, 2:39pm, echo wrote:Me: Boss I need the day off.
Boss: Why?
Me: I have anal glocoma.
Boss: What's wrong?
Me: I just can't see my ass coming to work today.
---------------------------------------------
Me: I have to take today off.
Boss: What is it this time.
Me: My one armed grandmother is coming to town with two suitcases and I need to be at the airport to help her carry one. |
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there fixed it
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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echo
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Re: What is Your Excuse???
« Reply #14 on: Oct 11th, 2005, 3:35pm » |
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on Oct 11th, 2005, 3:05pm, ghost62 wrote:
there fixed it |
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Nice touch -- I like it
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"If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it".
Proud Dad of a US Marine, and a former Marine turned Police Officer.
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gore2424
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Re: What is Your Excuse???
« Reply #15 on: Oct 11th, 2005, 4:03pm » |
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me: (sit up in bed) I dont think I will get out of bed today
me: (lay back down) ok dont have to get out of bed to go to work I'm on SSD Terry
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what the hamsalad was that ¿?¿
I said your hair looks nice Ü
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Sandy_C
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Re: What is Your Excuse???
« Reply #16 on: Oct 11th, 2005, 4:19pm » |
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Me: Hi boss. I'm not gonna make it in today.
Boss: Why not?
Me: Well, I'm running a fever, got it coming out of both
ends and can't hold my head up.
Boss: Well, if you feel better a little later on, come on in.
In the meantime, if anything happens here, I'll just
call you at home and we can talk about it.
This was a true story! What's the point of staying home???
He also brought a site plan in to my hospital room the morning after I had knee replacement surgery on my left knee and arthroscopic surgery on the other knee. Like I was supposed to design the lighting plan while laying in a hospital bed, both legs wrapped from ankle to groin, and one leg being pumped up and down by a damn machine!
Right!
Sandy
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Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on
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alchemy
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get out of my head
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Re: What is Your Excuse???
« Reply #17 on: Oct 11th, 2005, 4:38pm » |
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i repeatedly got called at home after i had been in the er all night and came home high on morphine. this happened six times, plus called in mexico while on a company vacation. no longer work for that company unfortunately no longer work, but no more phone calls either.
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rextangle
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Re: What is Your Excuse???
« Reply #18 on: Oct 11th, 2005, 4:41pm » |
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We work from home... we're screwed no matter what happens!!!
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Langa
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Re: What is Your Excuse???
« Reply #19 on: Oct 11th, 2005, 6:33pm » |
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on Oct 11th, 2005, 4:41pm, rextangle wrote:| We work from home... we screw no matter what happens!!! |
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Fixed it for ya...
We should all be so lucky...
Langa
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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AussieBrian
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Re: What is Your Excuse???
« Reply #20 on: Oct 11th, 2005, 6:51pm » |
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I work and live on a remote tropical island, within a community and culture vastly different from the white-fella way of thinking, and I'm perfectly happy if staff even arrive to do their three hour shift.
Much of the absenteeism is for matters ceremonial which (rightly) take precedence over work-a-day drudgery, but some of the other reasons are delightful.
Grandma's sick so I had to look after her - she's 800 miles away and it was done on the phone.
Mum's away so I had to look after my brother - who's 3 years older than she is.
There's no-one at the Council office so I couldn't sign my time sheet.
I forgot - same shift Monday to Friday for the past 3 months.
I had to work on my head-dress for feasting day - which isn't for a fortnight yet.
The school kids told me it was a public holiday - it was a pupil-free day.
You've gotta love it, or cry.
Lost in paradise,
Brian.
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Kate in Oz
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Re: What is Your Excuse???
« Reply #21 on: Oct 11th, 2005, 8:51pm » |
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Nothing wrong with having the occasional
'Mental Health' day
perhaps if that bloke at Langa's work had...
I don't work anymore either (due to illness) but still manage a 'jammy day' every now and then.... Jules (son) and I hang out in the back yard in our jammies and take it real easy....
Life is too short !!
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cootie
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Re: What is Your Excuse???
« Reply #22 on: Oct 11th, 2005, 11:24pm » |
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Me: not goin to work today......tired of the same old crap (dog kennel)......I'm moveing to a tropical island with Brian
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Cause and Effect......"Cause is the effect concealed, Effect is the cause revealed"
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Kate in Oz
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Re: What is Your Excuse???
« Reply #23 on: Oct 11th, 2005, 11:35pm » |
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on Oct 11th, 2005, 11:24pm, cootie wrote: I'm moveing to a tropical island with Brian
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YOUR WHAT 
no offence Beefa 
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AussieBrian
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Re: What is Your Excuse???
« Reply #24 on: Oct 11th, 2005, 11:55pm » |
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Hey, Kate. You just leave her alone!
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Vulcrania horrendus - twice daily, then two at night in lieu of sleep.
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