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Topic: Sleep Deprivation & "Daydream Theatre" present: (Read 147 times) |
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Carl_D
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Sleep Deprivation & "Daydream Theatre" present:
« on: Sep 22nd, 2005, 8:49am » |
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STAR TREK: The Jackass Picture
Scene fades in with Captain Kirk speaking into his logger.
Capt. Kirk: Captains log, we have passed through the central OC nebula and are now heading...
The ship is suddenly rocked with a blast. Spock falls to the ground unconscious
Capt. Kirk: Bones! Check Spock - he's hurt!
Bones: Dammit Jim, I'm a musician, Not a doctor!
Capt Kirk: Scotty give me a report!
Scotty: We've got Phallians coming up the rear Captain. I can't hold 'em off much longer!
Sulu: Captain, you'd better get on the intercom. Khan is on there blowing a gasket.
Capt. Kirk: Very well. Bring him up on screen.
Suddenly, Khan appears onscreen, stuffing his face with Cheeto's
Khan: Kirk, all I want is the Genesis Device. Give it to me and spare your crew.
Bones whispers to Capt Kirk
Bones: I think he's stoned Jim. He does have the munchies.
Bam Margera: Speaking of who isn't stoned... Sulu, stop bogarting the fucking whiskey dried ants and pass the bong will ya?
Kirk swats at Bones to shoo him out of the way
Capt. Kirk: You can't be serious Khan.
Khan: Very serious Kirk. I have micro-miniature cuban born chinese circus midgets I have already stuck into the helmets of two of your crew members. They will drive your crew to maddening torment.
Kirk nods at Bones
Capt. Kirk: It's the only way I can spare my crew. I must give him the Genesis Device.
Bones: But what will happen to the universe if Khan gets his hands on it? You Don't mean...?
Capt. Kirk: I'm afraid so Bones. Peter Gabriel will leave Genesis to pursue a solo career while Phil Collins replaces him and they begin making horrible horrible music.
Steve-O: That will cause hell on earth!
Bones: We can't let that happen Jim. It will infiltrate the airwaves with its muzak and turn everyones minds into mush.
Capt Kirk: What makes you so sure?
Steve-O: Dude, It is gonna happen. What is worse is he will launch a suck-cessful solo career against all odds I'm betting.
Bam: That could kill Birdman, unless....
Capt Kirk: Unless what? Tell me!
in a stupor, Spock pipes up as he arises from the floor
Spock: 'Hiccup' There ish only one thing that will bring balance to the universe and shave 'hiccup' mankind
Capt. Kirk: You mean...?
Steve-O: Yes Captain, I will have to staple my nutsac to my leg live onstage in front of thousands of people until the live act is eventually banned and I risk Bubba-Time.
Spock: Are you sure you can do this Steve-O?
Steve-O: Yeah Man, I could staple my nutsac to my head if I needed to... neeeded to..... neeeeeeeedeeeed
Spock begins singing before passing back out...
Spock: Everybody, loves shomebody sometime....
the end
Sitting here coming out of a 8er for the last hour-ish.... I began hallucinating while sitting here in the dark. This was the obvious result. In case you haven;t guessed it by now, I am easily amused. 
Ducking and running from the Trekkies,
Mack D
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| « Last Edit: Sep 22nd, 2005, 8:51am by Carl_D » |
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giffy76
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Re: Sleep Deprivation & "Daydream Theatre
« Reply #1 on: Sep 22nd, 2005, 9:01am » |
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LMMFAO  That's good sh!t
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