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Topic: Magic Frog & Wimmins (Read 393 times) |
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Jeepgun
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Magic Frog & Wimmins
« on: Sep 19th, 2005, 10:44am » |
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A woman was going swimming in her backyard pool and noticed that a frog was in the pool treading water, unable to climb out.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten."
The woman said, "That's okay." and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to. "
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM! she's the most beautiful woman in the world.
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you ".
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM! she's the richest woman in the world.
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Attention male readers ONLY: Please continue.
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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife.
Moral of the story: Women are really not as smart as they think. Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show!
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this, it also proves that women never do as they are told!
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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giffy76
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Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins
« Reply #1 on: Sep 19th, 2005, 10:46am » |
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jcmquix
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Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins
« Reply #2 on: Sep 19th, 2005, 10:47am » |
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Would the owner of the propane torch, egg beater, pipe expander and vise grips please claim these items. They're lodged in my head and I need the space. (burnt-toast)
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Ghost
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Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins
« Reply #3 on: Sep 19th, 2005, 10:52am » |
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Ya know they all read it but just wont admit it ... they are also stubborn.
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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Jimi
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Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins
« Reply #4 on: Sep 19th, 2005, 11:05am » |
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That was good Frank!. Not seeeing a whole lot of comments from the wimmins. But thats ok, cause they prettier than we are.
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Jeepgun
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Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins
« Reply #5 on: Sep 19th, 2005, 11:10am » |
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Yes... They ARE pretty. (Pretty rotten...) 
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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Langa
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Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins
« Reply #6 on: Sep 19th, 2005, 11:16am » |
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Yeah, I read it...it was dumb...the women I know would've been much smarter... 
All I have to say about that...
Langa
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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pattik
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Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins
« Reply #7 on: Sep 19th, 2005, 11:20am » |
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Yeh, I read it too...and all the time amused cause I knew where it was going (coming from Frank). I haven't met a frog that was smarter than me yet.
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The voyage of discovery is not about seeking new landscapes, it's about having new eyes--Marcel Proust
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LeLimey
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Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins
« Reply #8 on: Sep 19th, 2005, 11:20am » |
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Well duh MORON! (Frank!) You have to go past it to get to the replies!!
I might have come over on the banana boat little boy but I WAS the captain! 
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Jeepgun
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Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins
« Reply #9 on: Sep 19th, 2005, 11:22am » |
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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LeLimey
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Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins
« Reply #10 on: Sep 19th, 2005, 11:25am » |
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on Sep 19th, 2005, 11:22am, Frank_W wrote:
You know Frank... you've just confirmed my suspicions.
For a long time I've had the feeling that was where your posts were coming from...
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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pattik
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Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins
« Reply #11 on: Sep 19th, 2005, 11:26am » |
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You can always count on these guys throwing in a moon or two
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The voyage of discovery is not about seeking new landscapes, it's about having new eyes--Marcel Proust
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giffy76
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Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins
« Reply #12 on: Sep 19th, 2005, 11:28am » |
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burnt-toast
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Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins
« Reply #13 on: Sep 19th, 2005, 11:28am » |
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on Sep 19th, 2005, 11:25am, LeLimey wrote:
You know Frank... you've just confirmed my suspicions.
For a long time I've had the feeling that was where your posts were coming from... |
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DamnOuch she's good.
Tom
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Would the owner of the propane torch, egg beater, pipe expander and vise grips please claim these items. They're lodged in my head and I need the space.
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Langa
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Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins
« Reply #14 on: Sep 19th, 2005, 11:28am » |
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on Sep 19th, 2005, 11:20am, LeLimey wrote:Well duh MORON! (Frank!) You have to go past it to get to the replies!!
I might have come over on the banana boat little boy but I WAS the captain! |
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My point was just made fellas...
LMAO Helen!
Langa
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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Redd
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Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins
« Reply #15 on: Sep 19th, 2005, 11:38am » |
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Helen's zingers at Frank sure make me laugh. It's funny how Helen abuses him so, and he takes it sooooooo well.
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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LeLimey
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Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins
« Reply #16 on: Sep 19th, 2005, 11:46am » |
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Pssst Redd.. its 'cos he doesn't understand what I'm saying!! sssshhhh!!
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Ghost
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Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins
« Reply #17 on: Sep 19th, 2005, 12:07pm » |
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He takes it cause its from cluster henz, and we luvz cluster henz.
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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Jeepgun
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Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins
« Reply #18 on: Sep 19th, 2005, 12:08pm » |
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Well, by the time I think of a good come-back, the conversation has already moved on.
I'm just too S L O W . . . 
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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LeLimey
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OUCH-US - Less "ME" and more "WE"
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Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins
« Reply #19 on: Sep 19th, 2005, 12:08pm » |
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Aww Goatie.. you're our favourite old Cock too! 
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Ghost
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Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins
« Reply #20 on: Sep 19th, 2005, 12:10pm » |
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on Sep 19th, 2005, 12:08pm, LeLimey wrote:| Aww Goatie.. you're our favourite old Cock too! |
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Whew Cant breath need c p r
And not the plunger and stomp method either
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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Melissa
Guest
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Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins
« Reply #21 on: Sep 19th, 2005, 12:15pm » |
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ghost, what part of old cock don't you understand?
lmao
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giffy76
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Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins
« Reply #22 on: Sep 19th, 2005, 12:16pm » |
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Wow! I think that's the nicest thing Limey has ever said to Gohst 
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minnie
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Re: men jokes
« Reply #23 on: Sep 19th, 2005, 12:19pm » |
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Love you men but had to give equal time.
Minnie
Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the one who makes all their decisions.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because they already have boyfriends.
Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
He had it bronzed.
Why do men like masturbation?
Its sex with someone they love.
How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
Two ways to cross a river.
What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.
Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?
What's the difference between a porcupine and a Corvette?
The porcupine has pricks on the outside.
How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three. One to hold the pan and two others to act macho and shake the stove.
What is a man's view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.
How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".
Why did God create man?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A.So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
B.So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when you take them around the block.
Why does the stupid man put ice in his condom?
To keep the swelling down.
What is the thinnest book in the world?
"What men know about women."
How many men does it take to screw a light bulb?
A.One - men will screw anything.
B.One - men will screw up anything.
C.Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it
How does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.
What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.
How can you tell if a man is aroused?
He's breathing.
What's the difference between men and government bonds?
Bonds mature.
How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
What do men and beer have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up.
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
Who knows? - did it ever happen??
How are men and parking spots alike?
The good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly handicapped or extremely small.
What is a man's idea of doing housework?
Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
What is the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.
What should you give a man who has everything?
A. A woman to show him how to work it.
B. Penicillin
Why don't men have mid-life crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence.
How does a man show he's planning for the Future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk.
Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half time.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A.A dog is always happy to see you
B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train
Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.
Husband: Want a quickie?
Wife: As opposed to what?
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand?
A man's undivided attention.
How is a man like a snowstorm?
Because you don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.
What do you call an intelligent man in America?
A tourist.
Why do jocks play on artificial turf?
To keep them from grazing.
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Redd
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Re: Magic Frog & Wimmins
« Reply #24 on: Sep 19th, 2005, 12:21pm » |
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on Sep 19th, 2005, 12:15pm, Melissa wrote:ghost, what part of old cock don't you understand?
lmao |
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Just goes to show you who is and who isn't on top of things.
Pegg
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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