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Topic: A Smile To Help You Thru The Weekend (Read 216 times) |
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Jimi
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Who loves ya baby!
 
 
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A Smile To Help You Thru The Weekend
« on: Sep 17th, 2005, 8:41am » |
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THIRTY LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE
1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
4. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
13. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
15. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
16. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
17. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
18. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
19. Procrastinate Now!
20. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
21. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
22. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
23. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
24.They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.
25. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
26. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
27. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
28. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
29. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
30. I smile! because I don't know what the hell is going on.
Have A Great Weekend!
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I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
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nani
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Got kudzu?
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Re: A Smile To Help You Thru The Weekend
« Reply #1 on: Sep 17th, 2005, 8:46am » |
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My favorite:
14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
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Others may come and go, but MY power is MINE.
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E-Double
CH.com Alumnus
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Are we ourselves?
 
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Re: A Smile To Help You Thru The Weekend
« Reply #2 on: Sep 17th, 2005, 8:48am » |
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Quote:| 7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me |
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Thought I was alone
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I can't believe that I have to bang my
Head against this wall again
But the blows they have just a little more
Space in-between them
Gonna take a breath and try again.
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Melissa
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Re: A Smile To Help You Thru The Weekend
« Reply #3 on: Sep 17th, 2005, 8:48am » |
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on Sep 17th, 2005, 8:41am, Jimi wrote:
9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
13. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
20. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
23. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
24.They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.
30. I smile! because I don't know what the hell is going on.
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Donna_D.
CH.com Alumnus
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OUCH needs volunteers
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Re: A Smile To Help You Thru The Weekend
« Reply #4 on: Sep 17th, 2005, 8:50am » |
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11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes
I have a T-shirt that says this....
Funny, no one has ever doubted that I'm out of my mind.
DD
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 The information contained above is for the expressed use of fellow clusterheads and their supporters. Any misuse of this information by any of my "Ex's" is considered to be creepy and a form of harassment and will be duly noted by the ch.com webmaster 
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sandie99
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Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
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Re: A Smile To Help You Thru The Weekend
« Reply #5 on: Sep 17th, 2005, 9:21am » |
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on Sep 17th, 2005, 8:41am, Jimi wrote:
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
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My favourite. Hmmm, does that come in a t-shirt...?
Have a great weekend, Jimi! 
Sanna
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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Jonny
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Give me a shovel Ill dig my own grave!
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Re: A Smile To Help You Thru The Weekend
« Reply #6 on: Sep 17th, 2005, 12:36pm » |
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31. Im not mad, but can I retrieve my boot from your ass?
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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Charlie
CH.com Alumnus
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Happy to be here
  
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Re: A Smile To Help You Thru The Weekend
« Reply #7 on: Sep 17th, 2005, 3:02pm » |
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Quote:| 23. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere! |
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Made me smile Kids. 
Thanks.
Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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LeLimey
CH.com Alumnus
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OUCH-US - Less "ME" and more "WE"
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Re: A Smile To Help You Thru The Weekend
« Reply #8 on: Sep 17th, 2005, 3:04pm » |
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Yes I am an agent of Satan but my duties are largely ceremonial.... 
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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sandie99
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Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
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Re: A Smile To Help You Thru The Weekend
« Reply #9 on: Sep 17th, 2005, 3:20pm » |
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on Sep 17th, 2005, 3:04pm, LeLimey wrote:| Yes I am an agent of Satan but my duties are largely ceremonial.... |
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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Jasmyn
CH.com Alumnus
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Each day will be a new trick in life's journey
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Re: A Smile To Help You Thru The Weekend
« Reply #10 on: Sep 17th, 2005, 5:35pm » |
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Jazz
Madness is proclaimed by society’s inability to accept its own infallibility
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Carl_D
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Re: A Smile To Help You Thru The Weekend
« Reply #11 on: Sep 17th, 2005, 5:53pm » |
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on Sep 17th, 2005, 8:41am, Jimi wrote:
24.They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was taken.
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LMMFAO!
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TxBasslady
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Bass fishin' is a h00t It's the catchin' that sux
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Re: A Smile To Help You Thru The Weekend
« Reply #12 on: Sep 17th, 2005, 8:28pm » |
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on Sep 17th, 2005, 8:41am, Jimi wrote:
4. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them. |
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LMFAO..
This is my favorite!!!
Jean
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How lucky I am... to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye too.
Take a kid fishin
www.takemefishin.org
I adopted a Vietnam POW/MIA from El Paso, Texas! 
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Langa
CH.com Alumnus
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So many donuts, such little time...
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Re: A Smile To Help You Thru The Weekend
« Reply #13 on: Sep 18th, 2005, 7:50pm » |
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Quote:| 9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. |
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My fave...
Langa
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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