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Topic: I am so tired need a Friend or two. (Read 596 times) |
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LadyElaine
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I am so tired need a Friend or two.
« on: Sep 13th, 2005, 10:33pm » |
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Elaine the Lady that always smiles and laughs and tells her funny stories. I am running out of laughter.
It has been real hard for me to find a funny story. Its been hard for me to do anything. Maybe cause I am in cycle not real sure. I know getting up in the morning is hard and it gets harder.
I get up in the morning have coffee with Buddy and Deveny. Then when they leave its either clean up the house or go back to bed til JD gets up. Then its get dressed eat breakfast . Then time to Teach JD his school work. JD can brighten my day with his laugh and smile some. I try to make his day fun.
Once a week we go somewhere for a feild trip. The post office, the zoo, a nature walk, a dairy farm.
School is out a 2 JD is free to watch TV , Play outside or on his computer. I clean, get things ready for dinner. At 7 everyone has finally gotten home.We eat Deveny cleans up the kitchen takes over with JD. Buddy goes in his Den watches sports on TV. I go in my room and watch a movie or just go to bed. Tnight I was in bed at 7
When I turn out the lights, I sometimes think it sure would be nice not to wake up. I am that tired.
I get up with a cluster and I start the coffee. I then go to the shower and take a cold one.I get out and put on a robe and go get my coffee and head outside. I rock cry. I talk to God and say Lord please I am tired. Please Lord if I can't be health let me come home. I fight the beast till he leaves. Then I most of the time just sleep where ever I am when the pain leaves. On the porch, or I might make it to the sofa or bed. Tonight I made it to the computer.
I wake up in the morning and it seems like it takes every bit of energy I have to put one foot in front of the other.
Its not just clusters, its life in general. So many people dieing. Not just my family and friends. Everywhere. The world just seems so sad.The older I get it seems the sadder I get.
I get mad cause i can't see as good as I use to. I can't walk as far as I use to with out stopping. I can't pick up things like I use to. Vacuming a floor seems so hard.. I don't know my kids any more, nor my Mom. I am not even sure I know who I am any more.
I am so damn tired.
Don't go thinking I am going to do something stupid beside writing this post. God will have to take me, I wouldn't do that to my family.!
Could use a funny story or some good news thought maybe ya'll could help in that department.
I could use a good laugh.
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Annette_Emond
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Re: I am so tired need a Friend or two.
« Reply #1 on: Sep 13th, 2005, 10:36pm » |
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I'm here Elaine.. Love Ya.. hang on to all the love you know you have here
Annette
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Happiness runs in a circular motion..
you can sometimes come back around to what you thought was done.
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Annette_Emond
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Re: I am so tired need a Friend or two.
« Reply #2 on: Sep 13th, 2005, 10:42pm » |
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Let’s say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Mary. He asks her out to a movie, she accepts, they have a pretty good time.
A few nights later, he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while, neither one of them is seeing anybody else.
Then, one evening when they’re driving home, a thought occurs to Mary, and without really thinking, she says it aloud: “Do you realize that, as of tonight, we’ve been seeing each other for exactly six months?”
And then, there is silence in the car. To Mary, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself…Jeez; I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he’s been feeling confined by our relationship, maybe he thinks I’m trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn’t want, or isn’t sure of.
And Roger is thinking…. Gosh, six months.
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Happiness runs in a circular motion..
you can sometimes come back around to what you thought was done.
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Annette_Emond
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Re: I am so tired need a Friend or two.
« Reply #3 on: Sep 13th, 2005, 10:42pm » |
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And Mary is thinking… But hey, I’m not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I’d have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward… I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that kind of commitment? Do I really even know this person?
And Roger is thinking… So that means it was… let’s see… February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer’s, which means…. Lemme check the odometer…. Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.
And Mary is thinking….He’s upset.. I can see it on his face. Maybe I’m reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment, maybe he has sensed, even before I sensed it- that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that’s it. That’s why he’s so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He’s afraid of being rejected.
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Happiness runs in a circular motion..
you can sometimes come back around to what you thought was done.
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Annette_Emond
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Re: I am so tired need a Friend or two.
« Reply #4 on: Sep 13th, 2005, 10:43pm » |
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And Roger is thinking… And I’m gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don’t care what those morons say; it’s still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It’s 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.
And Mary is thinking… He’s angry, and I don’t blame him. I’d be angry too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this but I can’t help the way I feel. I’m just not sure.
And Roger is thinking… They’ll probably say I can only have a 90-day warranty. Scumbags!
And Mary is thinking… Maybe I’m just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I’m sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, school-girl romantic fantasy.
And Roger is thinking… Warranty? They want a warranty? I’ll give them a warranty. I’ll take their warranty and stick it right up their…..
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Happiness runs in a circular motion..
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Annette_Emond
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Re: I am so tired need a Friend or two.
« Reply #5 on: Sep 13th, 2005, 10:43pm » |
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“Roger” Mary says aloud.
“What?” says Roger, startled.
“Please don’t torture yourself like this” she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. “Maybe I should never have… Oh God, I feel so…” (She breaks into sobs.)
“What?” says Roger.
“I’m such a fool” Mary sobs. “I mean, I know there’s no knight. I really know that. It’s silly. There’s no knight, and there’s no horse.”
“There’s no horse?” says Roger.
“You think I’m a fool, don’t you?” Mary asks.
“No!” says Roger, glad to finally know the right answer.
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Happiness runs in a circular motion..
you can sometimes come back around to what you thought was done.
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Annette_Emond
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Re: I am so tired need a Friend or two.
« Reply #6 on: Sep 13th, 2005, 10:44pm » |
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“It’s just that… it’s that I… I need some time.” Mary says.
(There is a long pause, while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.
“Yes” he says.
(Mary, deeply moved, touches his hand.) “Oh Roger, do you really feel that way?”
“What way?” asks Roger.
“That way about time.” Says Mary.
“Oh” says Roger.. “Yes”.
(Mary turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she may say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last, she speaks………….
“Thank you, Roger” she says.
“Thank you”, says Roger
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Happiness runs in a circular motion..
you can sometimes come back around to what you thought was done.
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Annette_Emond
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Re: I am so tired need a Friend or two.
« Reply #7 on: Sep 13th, 2005, 10:44pm » |
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Then, he takes her home, and when she gets into bed, she lays there, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn.
Roger gets back to his place, opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he has never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he’s pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it’s better if he doesn’t think about it.
The next day, Mary will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours, in painstaking detail. They will analyze everything she said, and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusion, but never getting bored with it either.
Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Mary’s, will pause just before serving, frown, and say…..
“Norm, did Mary ever own a horse?”
And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is the difference between men and women.
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Happiness runs in a circular motion..
you can sometimes come back around to what you thought was done.
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Woobie
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Re: I am so tired need a Friend or two.
« Reply #8 on: Sep 13th, 2005, 11:04pm » |
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I love you, Elaine!!
I think everyone's feeling down and sad lately... it's not just you. There's a lot of things going on in the world that make you wonder about things, that's for sure. But there's also a lot of good out there... if you look for it.
You've had a lot to deal with lately - and you're tired... you're emotionally drained. It's normal. Being in cycle doesn't help....
You will be OK. I know you will. You're strong and you can get thru it.
I love you 
tina
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| « Last Edit: Sep 13th, 2005, 11:07pm by Woobie » |
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rextangle
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Re: I am so tired need a Friend or two.
« Reply #9 on: Sep 13th, 2005, 11:27pm » |
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Dear Elaine,
I'm so sorry that everything is so tuff for you. I can try to cheer you up by supplying you with a humoristic solution to your situation.
STEP1: Get a Baboon. It may seem impossible but now with the internet...
Once you own the Baboon here's how your day will go on your next post:
I get up in the morning have coffee with Buddy and Deveny and the Baboon. Then when they leave its either clean up the house, because baboons are messy, or go back to bed til JD gets up.
Then I dress up the baboon for absolutely no reason.
Then time to each JD his school work, and teach the baboon not to poop on the TV. JD can brighten my day with his laugh and smile some, but the baboon has a tendancy to piss me off. I try to make his day fun.
Once a week we go somewhere for a field trip. We took the baboon to the zoo and he thought we were touring Folsom Prison. Now the baboon is a Jonny Cash fan...
School is out a 2 JD is free to watch TV. Play outside or on his computer while the baboon pretends to tap dance for 2 hours. I clean, get things ready for dinner. At 7 everyone has finally gotten home.We eat, and of course the baboon decides to relieve himself during dinner. I go in my room and watch a movie or just go to bed because life with a baboon is pretty exhausting.
PLEASE STAY STRONG.... it will pass!
Hugs,
Rex
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cootie
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Re: I am so tired need a Friend or two.
« Reply #10 on: Sep 13th, 2005, 11:49pm » |
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I think too many bad things goin on at once magnify's all the other bad stuff around.......then ya get to thinkin too hard and too heavy and depress yerself even more....then ya look at yourself and don't like what ya see or how ya feel. Then ya get to where ya can't see the light at the end of the tunnel......just the darkness around you. You stop looking for the good in anything and only see and feel the bad. You need to go out on the town and get drunk as hell. A good hangover sure will make ya look forward to a better day. If ya can't do that now make big plans for when the cycle ends.....go gamblin and stay at the hotel. Sumthin to look forward to. Or how bout a nice big ole hot tub to soak them blues away. Ya could rent a baboon to give ya a massage. Wash them blues rite outa yer hair Pam
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| « Last Edit: Sep 13th, 2005, 11:50pm by cootie » |
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Pinkfloyd
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Re: I am so tired need a Friend or two.
« Reply #12 on: Sep 14th, 2005, 12:44am » |
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on Sep 14th, 2005, 12:16am, Mastifflvr28 wrote:
from one of your 2 friends 
Mast |
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Hmm....I knew you were special Mast but didn't know there were two people special enough to be Elaine's friend. Must make you feel really good. 
Rex is a friend of mine but look at him...all he thinks about are baboons. How'd you like to be 2nd to a baboon? 
Elaine...I see your problem....
"I then go to the shower and take a cold one.I get out and put on a robe "
Ya gotta lose the robe! Makes cleaning a lot more fun.
Bobw
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"Nothing is so firmly believed as what we least know."
"There is no passion so contagious as that of fear."
[Michel de Montaigne
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Cathi04
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Re: I am so tired need a Friend or two.
« Reply #13 on: Sep 14th, 2005, 1:03am » |
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Ok....Let's see, Mast is your second friend(the others will have to fight for pole position).....sooo, guess I'll be friend #3!
Elaine, I'm so sorry the beast is hanging out with you again. I thought you had finally shaken him! I know you're strong, so I wont remind you to be so, but I will remind you, it's not the hits, it's the time between them that count!
JD is lucky to spend his days with you, y'know. He is learning a kind, gentle way of life, where even the bugs are important. He's a lucky man!
As for you.....coz this is what this is all about.... honey, you have to have the strength to ride this out! Plenty of rest, the right food...and taking care of your heart, too!
The house will wait,and Buddy can pick up pizza....give E a break!
As for a laugh, well, have you seen the piano stripper?
LOL>>If not, I will send it to you.but NOT here! 
Of course, the gorilla is a good idea too..........
NOw, SMILE, girl.....at the very least, it confuses people!
Cathi
edited to add....... here's a reason to smile....my grandson turns 8 next week. I asked him if he wanted a party at Grampa & Grandma's. He asked if he could make the cake with me....white cake, vanilla buttercream frosting-and if it could be big enough to share with all the people who didnt get a party or cake because of Katrina? And he wonders why I love him.......
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| « Last Edit: Sep 14th, 2005, 1:09am by Cathi04 » |
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Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.
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The mad viking
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Re: I am so tired need a Friend or two.
« Reply #14 on: Sep 14th, 2005, 1:04am » |
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I'm here Elaine
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Always Look on The Bright Side of Life
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Charlie
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Re: I am so tired need a Friend or two.
« Reply #15 on: Sep 14th, 2005, 2:46am » |
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Rats. No fair. You have too much living to do.
Sorry you're hurting. You need to sit in a recliner (worked a bit for me) and watch really stupid poro movies that are so dumb that you fall out of your chair.....at least that's what they tell me..... 
Kick the beast in the butt E.
Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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Sean_C
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Re: I am so tired need a Friend or two.
« Reply #16 on: Sep 14th, 2005, 3:29am » |
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Hang tough Elaine, hopefully it'll leave soon 
Call me any time you need to day or night you know that. My doors always open for my friends.
Huge hugs comin at ya 
Sean.....................................
(sp)
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| « Last Edit: Sep 14th, 2005, 3:29am by Sean_C » |
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LeLimey
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Re: I am so tired need a Friend or two.
« Reply #17 on: Sep 14th, 2005, 3:41am » |
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Elaine we love you!
It is a tough time in the world, both the big world and our little world here. Its the end of summer which is always depressing and you have so much on your plate too that it's amazing you keep going. You're an inspiration and knowing that you keep going feeling like this just makes you even more of one.
You want something to giggle at huh?
Well, just to cheer you up even more I'm sure YOU are teaching JD better than THESE kids got taught!!
Apparently these are all taken from GCSE and A level English papers.
Enjoy!
The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a lamppost.
Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer.
McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag filled with vegetable soup.
Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left York at 6:36 p.m travelling at 55 mph, the other from Peterborough at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red crayon.
Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.
The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview portion of Family Fortunes.
Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a student on 31p-a-pint night.
He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter."
She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before.
The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Glenda Jackson MP in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Robin Cook MP, Leader of the House of Commons, in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the suspension of Keith Vaz MP.
The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free cashpoint.
The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.
He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a dustcart reversing.
She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword.
She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature British beef.
She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.
It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Grandma_Sweet_Boy
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Re: I am so tired need a Friend or two.
« Reply #18 on: Sep 14th, 2005, 5:59am » |
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Hope things look better in the light of day for you.
Hang in there - you have a wealth of friends at your fingertips and they're all sending you hugs.
Check your email, hon!
Hugs
Carol
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E-Double
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Re: I am so tired need a Friend or two.
« Reply #19 on: Sep 14th, 2005, 6:43am » |
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Ya ever wonder about this one.....................
Not like there's anything wrong with it 
Feel good my friend!
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I can't believe that I have to bang my
Head against this wall again
But the blows they have just a little more
Space in-between them
Gonna take a breath and try again.
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nani
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Re: I am so tired need a Friend or two.
« Reply #20 on: Sep 14th, 2005, 7:16am » |
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It's too early, so I have no funny stories, yet. But I'm one of your friends. When you start feeling down, you can ask JD to tell you a joke. Hearing a little one tell a joke always cracks me up. And you can remember that you have many friends here. We love you, hun!!
hugs and love, nani
PS...don't get a baboon. They smell and I can't imagine what it would be like to have to look at a bright red ass all day.
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Melissa
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Re: I am so tired need a Friend or two.
« Reply #22 on: Sep 14th, 2005, 7:34am » |
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First of all, this...
Quote:
scares me.
Secondly, here is one of my favorite songs by Jars of Clay called "Faith Like a Child". Frank has read the lyrics before and now I want you to.
Quote:Dear God, surround me as I speak,
the bridges that I walk across are weak
Frustrations fill the void that I can't solely bear.
Dear God, don't let me fall apart
you've held me close to you
I have turned away and searched
for answers I can't understand.
Chorus:
They say that I can move the mountains
And send them falling to the sea
They say that I can walk on water
If I would follow and believe with Faith Like a Child
Sometimes, when I feel miles away
and my eyes can't see your face
I wonder if I've grown to lose the
recklessness I walked in light of you
Chorus
They say that I can move the mountains
And send them crashing to the sea
They say that I can walk on water
If I would follow and believe
with Faith Like a Child
They say that love can heal the broken
They say that hope can make you see
They say that faith can find a Savior
If you would follow and believe
With Faith Like a Child |
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Now, if I can just get SeanC to post the song itself, then I'd be thrilled.
Basically what the song is saying, is to try and see the world, and the love, with eyes like a child. Remember when we were kids? Life was good, we viewed the world as this wonderous place that we were in awe of. And I SO do feel what you mean about seeing all the death, destruction, etc. as we get older. I think it's cause we lost the child in us, the innocence. But it's still out there honey, and it can be tapped.
Anyway, you know I'm here for you hon. Keep an eye on your snail mail, cause in about 2-3 days you'll get somethin from me.
Love u,
mel
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| « Last Edit: Sep 14th, 2005, 7:38am by Melissa » |
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rickyshot
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Re: I am so tired need a Friend or two.
« Reply #23 on: Sep 14th, 2005, 7:37am » |
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As you may or may not know I am episodic too and when in cycle always get depressed and suicidal. The brain rules the body and behavior. CH is a lot more than the pain as that were not Hell enough.
HANG IN THERE. Feel free to vent.
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Jeepgun
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Re: I am so tired need a Friend or two.
« Reply #24 on: Sep 14th, 2005, 8:01am » |
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Hang in there, Elaine. I wish there were more I could say or do... Keep your chin up, you brave, strong lady.
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