Author |
Topic: for Jimi (Read 330 times) |
|
nani
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Got kudzu?
Gender: 
Posts: 7953
|
God was just about done creating, but he had two things left over in his bag and He couldn't quite decide how to split them between Adam and Eve.
He thought He might just as well ask them.
He told them one of the things He had left was a thing that would allow the owner to pee while standing up. "It's a very handy thing," God told
them, "and I was wondering if either one of you had a preference for it."
Well, Adam jumped up and down and begged, "Oh, please give that to me!
I'd love to be able to do that! It seems like just the sort of thing a man should have.
Please! Pleeease! Give it to me!" On and on he went like an excited little boy.
Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly,he could have it.
So God gave Adam the thing that allowed him to pee standing up.
Adam was s o excited he just started whizzing all over the place - first on the side of a rock, then he wrote his name in the sand, and then he tried to see if he could hit a stump ten feet away - laughing with delight all the while.
God and Eve watched him with amusement and then God said to Eve, "Well, I guess you're kind of stuck with the last thing I have left."
What's it called?" asked Eve.
"Brains", said God
|
|
 IP Logged |
Others may come and go, but MY power is MINE.
|
|
|
Langa
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
So many donuts, such little time...
Gender:
Posts: 4179
|
 |
Re: for Jimi
« Reply #1 on: Sep 1st, 2005, 7:55am » |
 Quote  Modify
|
Tee heee.... 
Battle of the sexes...gotta love it...
Good one Nani Luv!
Langa
|
|
IP Logged |
When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
|
|
|
giffy76
New Board Hall of Famer
Give me Imitrex or give me death.
Gender: 
Posts: 724
|
|
Re: for Jimi
« Reply #2 on: Sep 1st, 2005, 8:04am » |
Quote Modify
|
Huh! I wonder what she did with them cause she sure didn't pass em down the line.
At least we kept ours and can still write our names in the snow.
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Langa
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
So many donuts, such little time...
Gender:
Posts: 4179
|
|
Re: for Jimi
« Reply #3 on: Sep 1st, 2005, 8:19am » |
Quote Modify
|
on Sep 1st, 2005, 8:04am, giffy76 wrote:Huh! I wonder what she did with them cause she sure didn't pass em down the line.
At least we kept ours and can still write our names in the snow. |
|
We still have our brains, you're just too busy with your little pathetic talent to notice... 
Have a nice day...
Langa
|
|
IP Logged |
When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
|
|
|
Jimi
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Who loves ya baby!
 
Gender:
Posts: 2286
|
|
Re: for Jimi
« Reply #4 on: Sep 1st, 2005, 8:20am » |
Quote Modify
|
Nani's Year In Review
January - Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight.
February - Couldn't work in a pharmacy because the bottles wouldn't fit into the typewriter.
March - Got excited when she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months because the box said "2-4 years."
April - Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.
May - Couldn't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets.
June - Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - After losing in a breast stroke swimming competition, complained to the judges that the other swimmers were using their arms.
August - Told her blonde friend to hurry when trying to get into their locked car using a coat hanger because it was starting to rain and the top was down.
September - When asked what the capital of California was: answered "C."
October - Hates M & M's because they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked a turkey for 4 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 120.
December - Couldn't call 911 because there was no "11" on any phone button.
I love you Nanipoo!
|
|
IP Logged |
I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
|
|
|
nani
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Got kudzu?
Gender:
Posts: 7953
|
|
Re: for Jimi
« Reply #5 on: Sep 1st, 2005, 8:23am » |
Quote Modify
|
on Sep 1st, 2005, 8:20am, Jimi wrote:
April - Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out.
|
|
I just didn't want to walk up. 
|
|
IP Logged |
Others may come and go, but MY power is MINE.
|
|
|
giffy76
New Board Hall of Famer
Give me Imitrex or give me death.
Gender:
Posts: 724
|
|
Re: for Jimi
« Reply #6 on: Sep 1st, 2005, 9:04am » |
Quote Modify
|
on Sep 1st, 2005, 8:19am, Langa wrote:
We still have our brains, you're just too busy with your little pathetic talent to notice...
Have a nice day...
Langa |
|
You'r just mad cause you can't write your name in the snow without gettin your shoes wet.
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
pattik
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Gender:
Posts: 2404
|
|
Re: for Jimi
« Reply #7 on: Sep 1st, 2005, 9:15am » |
Quote Modify
|
on Sep 1st, 2005, 8:20am, Jimi wrote:
October - Hates M & M's because they are so hard to peel. |
|
Some of us are simply purists about our chocolate.
|
|
IP Logged |
The voyage of discovery is not about seeking new landscapes, it's about having new eyes--Marcel Proust
|
|
|
Langa
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
So many donuts, such little time...
Gender:
Posts: 4179
|
|
Re: for Jimi
« Reply #8 on: Sep 1st, 2005, 9:18am » |
Quote Modify
|
on Sep 1st, 2005, 9:04am, giffy76 wrote:
You'r just mad cause you can't write your name in the snow without gettin your shoes wet. |
|
There's a difference...I have no NEED to write my name in the snow. I'd rather have a donut...
Langa
|
|
IP Logged |
When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
|
|
|
Langa
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
So many donuts, such little time...
Gender:
Posts: 4179
|
|
Re: for Jimi
« Reply #9 on: Sep 1st, 2005, 9:19am » |
Quote Modify
|
on Sep 1st, 2005, 9:15am, pattik wrote:
Some of us are simply purists about our chocolate.
|
|
|
|
IP Logged |
When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
|
|
|
giffy76
New Board Hall of Famer
Give me Imitrex or give me death.
Gender:
Posts: 724
|
|
Re: for Jimi
« Reply #10 on: Sep 1st, 2005, 9:23am » |
Quote Modify
|
on Sep 1st, 2005, 9:18am, Langa wrote:
There's a difference...I have no NEED to write my name in the snow. I'd rather have a donut...
Langa |
|
I can write donut, in the snow. 
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Langa
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
So many donuts, such little time...
Gender:
Posts: 4179
|
|
Re: for Jimi
« Reply #11 on: Sep 1st, 2005, 9:31am » |
Quote Modify
|
on Sep 1st, 2005, 9:23am, giffy76 wrote:
I can write donut, in the snow.
|
|
Wow...i'm so impressed...
BTW:
|
|
IP Logged |
When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
|
|
|
giffy76
New Board Hall of Famer
Give me Imitrex or give me death.
Gender:
Posts: 724
|
|
Re: for Jimi
« Reply #12 on: Sep 1st, 2005, 9:35am » |
Quote Modify
|
on Sep 1st, 2005, 9:31am, Langa wrote:
Wow...i'm so impressed...
BTW:
|
|
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Langa
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
So many donuts, such little time...
Gender:
Posts: 4179
|
|
Re: for Jimi
« Reply #13 on: Sep 1st, 2005, 9:41am » |
Quote Modify
|
Can't we just get along? So what if you're stupid and want to pee in the snow..who am I to judge...?
I would be willing to call a truce, for a small price... 
Langa
|
|
IP Logged |
When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
|
|
|
giffy76
New Board Hall of Famer
Give me Imitrex or give me death.
Gender:
Posts: 724
|
|
Re: for Jimi
« Reply #14 on: Sep 1st, 2005, 10:04am » |
Quote Modify
|
on Sep 1st, 2005, 9:41am, Langa wrote:Can't we just get along? So what if you're stupid and want to pee in the snow..who am I to judge...?
I would be willing to call a truce, for a small price...
Langa |
|
Ok. I will send you  1 doz. yellow snow cones and I'm not stupid. I just like peeing outdoors
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
clarence
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Wake up
Gender:
Posts: 1020
|
|
Re: for Jimi
« Reply #15 on: Sep 1st, 2005, 10:08am » |
Quote Modify
|
Women can write their names in the snow with pee - they just need a stecil.
And who needs brains when you can pee standing up?
Casey
|
|
IP Logged |
NY Yankees Suck!!!
"Bart, don't make fun of Grad students. They just made a terrible life decision," Marge Simpson
Where I live: http://rainfallsoneveryone.com
|
|
|
pattik
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Gender:
Posts: 2404
|
|
Re: for Jimi
« Reply #16 on: Sep 1st, 2005, 10:13am » |
Quote Modify
|
on Sep 1st, 2005, 10:08am, clarence wrote:Women can write their names in the snow with pee - they just need a stecil.
And who needs brains when you can pee standing up? |
|
Well, we may need stencils, but since we have brains, we can at least spell better.
|
|
IP Logged |
The voyage of discovery is not about seeking new landscapes, it's about having new eyes--Marcel Proust
|
|
|
Langa
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
So many donuts, such little time...
Gender:
Posts: 4179
|
|
Re: for Jimi
« Reply #17 on: Sep 1st, 2005, 10:17am » |
Quote Modify
|
That's right, I forgot that peeing on the snow is very artistic and only for the brilliant...
Langa
|
|
IP Logged |
When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
|
|
|
Langa
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
So many donuts, such little time...
Gender:
Posts: 4179
|
|
Re: for Jimi
« Reply #18 on: Sep 1st, 2005, 10:18am » |
Quote Modify
|
on Sep 1st, 2005, 10:13am, pattik wrote:
Well, we may need stencils, but since we have brains, we can at least spell better. |
|
muahahahahahahaah!!!
honestly, Casey, you're in college an' all...
Love ya,
Langa
|
|
IP Logged |
When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
|
|
|
giffy76
New Board Hall of Famer
Give me Imitrex or give me death.
Gender:
Posts: 724
|
|
Re: for Jimi
« Reply #19 on: Sep 1st, 2005, 11:01am » |
Quote Modify
|
on Sep 1st, 2005, 10:17am, Langa wrote:That's right, I forgot that peeing on the snow is very artistic and only for the brilliant...
Langa |
|
First it's stupid, now it's art?
Deep down Langa wants to write her name in snow with pee. I'm sure I could come up with something, it would be half strap-on half funnel.
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Ghost
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Farting relieves the pressure
Gender:
Posts: 4024
|
|
Re: for Jimi
« Reply #20 on: Sep 1st, 2005, 11:03am » |
Quote Modify
|
Ok the hens have had there chances and this is the best they could do. How pathetic  at least go for a nerve we care about. Now to kill the brain theory how much smarts does it take to LIFT THE TOILET SEAT? Now that should get them hens cluckn.   
|
|
IP Logged |
Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
|
|
|
LeLimey
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
OUCH-US - Less "ME" and more "WE"
Gender:
Posts: 11720
|
|
Re: for Jimi
« Reply #21 on: Sep 1st, 2005, 11:17am » |
Quote Modify
|
Ghost you really have a fixation with toilet seats don't you? I'm starting to worry about you..
We women don't WANT to write our names in the snow, we don't NEED to write our names in the snow.. we certainly don't want to write donut in the snow giffy you space cadet!! Donuts are for eating. End of story!
Now boys.. naff off. And don't forget to fold your arms as you walk away so your knuckles don't trail along the floor!!
|
|
IP Logged |
The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
|
|
|
sandie99
New Board Hall of Famer
Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
Gender:
Posts: 10429
|
|
Re: for Jimi
« Reply #22 on: Sep 1st, 2005, 11:20am » |
Quote Modify
|
Good one, Nani! Thank you!
|
|
IP Logged |
CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
|
|
|
giffy76
New Board Hall of Famer
Give me Imitrex or give me death.
Gender:
Posts: 724
|
|
Re: for Jimi
« Reply #23 on: Sep 1st, 2005, 11:23am » |
Quote Modify
|
Me Giffy. (aka space cadet ) Me like pee in snow. Me like write donut with pee. Snow cold on pee pee, must hold up higher.
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Ghost
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Farting relieves the pressure
Gender:
Posts: 4024
|
|
Re: for Jimi
« Reply #24 on: Sep 1st, 2005, 11:28am » |
Quote Modify
|
UUUGGGHHH
Me ghost like it when hens land butt in toilet water. 
Them make cool sounds.
Me like eat doughnuts
Hens like talk doughnuts, no wait that is hens like da nuts thats right.
Bring it Henz
Or would we call them cluster cluckers?
|
|
IP Logged |
Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Home
Help
Search
Members
Member Map
Login
Register
Reply
Notify of replies
Send Topic
Print
test rss