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Topic: How "BAD" can YOUR job be..... (Read 407 times) |
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daffyswacky
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How "BAD" can YOUR job be.....
« on: Aug 29th, 2005, 4:52pm » |
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When you have an "I Hate My Job" day, try this.
On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and
go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson. Be sure you get this brand.
When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains
and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.
Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your
favorite chair.
Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now,
carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken. Now the fun part begins.
Take out the instructions and read them very carefully.
You will notice that in small print there is a statement.....
"Every rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson
is personally tested."
Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,
"I am so! glad I do not work for quality control at Johnson and Johnson."
HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS WORSE THAN YOURS! 
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Jonny
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Re: How "BAD" can YOUR job be.....
« Reply #1 on: Aug 29th, 2005, 4:55pm » |
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You mean people get paid for doing that? 
Hey Don!!, this is your lucky day...LMAO
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Ree
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Re: How "BAD" can YOUR job be.....
« Reply #2 on: Aug 29th, 2005, 5:11pm » |
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somebody has to do it......lol love ree
stop picking on don if I can't tease him you can't either
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Jasmyn
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Re: How "BAD" can YOUR job be.....
« Reply #3 on: Aug 29th, 2005, 6:02pm » |
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I'll never use ANY Johnson&Johnson product in my life again because who knows where its been! 
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Jazz 
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kimmiedawn81
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Re: How "BAD" can YOUR job be.....
« Reply #4 on: Aug 29th, 2005, 6:05pm » |
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EWwwwwww.................that's so gross!
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Langa
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Re: How "BAD" can YOUR job be.....
« Reply #5 on: Aug 29th, 2005, 6:05pm » |
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One can only hope it's tested by some sort of machine especially made for that... 
Though, I have been working with feces samples at work...can't get any worse than that...
Vibes? 
Langa
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AussieBrian
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Re: How "BAD" can YOUR job be.....
« Reply #6 on: Aug 29th, 2005, 6:56pm » |
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I used to be an executive in a sewer.
It was my job to scrape "it" off the walls, put it into a bucket, and pass it to the bloke behind me. He passed it on to the feller who threw it into the back of the truck and that's why I was the executive.
I didn't have to take "it" from anyone.
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Jasmyn
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Re: How "BAD" can YOUR job be.....
« Reply #7 on: Aug 29th, 2005, 7:15pm » |
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on Aug 29th, 2005, 6:56pm, AussieBrian wrote:I used to be an executive in a sewer.
It was my job to scrape "it" off the walls, put it into a bucket, and pass it to the bloke behind me. He passed it on to the feller who threw it into the back of the truck and that's why I was the executive.
I didn't have to take "it" from anyone. |
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So Brian, I presume from the above and your fleetfooted mouth (or rather index finger) that you're still an executive and obviously not married!
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Jazz
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Lizzie2
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Re: How "BAD" can YOUR job be.....
« Reply #8 on: Aug 29th, 2005, 7:32pm » |
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No matter how many days it has been since an infant last pooped, never EVER again will I take on the job of giving them a little help with a thermometer probe....
I had an entire bassinet full of filthy linens, about 8 dirty diapers, a stuffed animal that had to be cleaned BIG time, and a kid with a pretty red butt after he pooped that much.
NEVER again....
LOL
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AussieBrian
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Re: How "BAD" can YOUR job be.....
« Reply #9 on: Aug 29th, 2005, 7:35pm » |
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See, Jasmyn? Lizzie's an executive now, too.
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don
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Re: How "BAD" can YOUR job be.....
« Reply #10 on: Aug 29th, 2005, 7:54pm » |
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You can pick on me Ree. I'll even pick on myself.
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| « Last Edit: Aug 29th, 2005, 8:10pm by don » |
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cootie
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Re: How "BAD" can YOUR job be.....
« Reply #11 on: Aug 29th, 2005, 10:46pm » |
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Speaking of crappy jobs......I know what all brands of dog food look like.....the second time around. Have kennel will scoop Pam 
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Charlie
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Re: How "BAD" can YOUR job be.....
« Reply #12 on: Aug 29th, 2005, 10:47pm » |
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I'm never going to shop at Howard Johnsons again for my thermometers. 
Charlie
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sandie99
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Re: How "BAD" can YOUR job be.....
« Reply #13 on: Aug 30th, 2005, 4:17am » |
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pubgirl
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Re: How "BAD" can YOUR job be.....
« Reply #14 on: Aug 30th, 2005, 6:00pm » |
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I had a Great Uncle called "Dumbo"(yes really, it was a common RAF nickname) who was apparently a "parachute tester".
I always thought the King's Knights of the Chamber had the worst job. Kings in the past in this country didn't wipe their own arses, had a man to do it and apparently it was considered a very prestigious job!
Bet King Charles that will be after our Queen dies won't dare have one, TOOOOO tempting to mistakenly use the loo brush!
I'll get back in my box and shut up now, rambling...
Wendy
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LeLimey
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Re: How "BAD" can YOUR job be.....
« Reply #15 on: Aug 30th, 2005, 6:07pm » |
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on Aug 30th, 2005, 6:00pm, pubgirl wrote:
Bet King Charles that will be after our Queen dies won't dare have one, TOOOOO tempting to mistakenly use the loo brush!
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Brillo Pads Wendy... I'll even pay! LOL
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Lizzie2
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Re: How "BAD" can YOUR job be.....
« Reply #16 on: Aug 30th, 2005, 6:35pm » |
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Today I had to squeeze pee out of a diaper to test it for protein and glucose..... still wasn't as gross as the above story, though!
Wee Pee diapers - if you ever want to feel a little sad - look for a pic of those online! The extra small are for babies less than 800grams. My little guy today weighed 862 or right around there.
So yeah - it's a gross job sometimes, but I try not to think about that part...!
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rickyshot
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Re: How "BAD" can YOUR job be.....
« Reply #17 on: Aug 30th, 2005, 6:39pm » |
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hahahaha someone got the shitty deal......
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Charlie
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Re: How "BAD" can YOUR job be.....
« Reply #18 on: Aug 30th, 2005, 9:27pm » |
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Quote:| Brillo Pads Wendy... I'll even pay! LOL |
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Another solution:
Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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pubgirl
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Re: How "BAD" can YOUR job be.....
« Reply #19 on: Aug 31st, 2005, 2:38am » |
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Heheheheh Charlie
I know someone who could do with that! I know 'cos I have to wash his ghastly pants
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AussieBrian
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Re: How "BAD" can YOUR job be.....
« Reply #20 on: Aug 31st, 2005, 7:06am » |
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Of course the treacle mines were no fun, either. Day after god-forsaken day, in terrible heat, just chip-chip-chippin' away at the rock face.
I admit it was exciting watching the bend put in it, so when you pour it off the tea-spoon it goes squidgy-squidgy-squidge all over your bread, but free-trade agreements meant we could no longer get that special chemical and then it didn't so much 'squidge' as go PLUNK!!
We lost wages bad over that, and only just broke even by chopping the mine shafts into little pieces and selling them off as post-holes.
My best crop of walking sticks was fine, until the wind changed and they all came out as right-handers. So I took up didgeridoo farming and was doing good, until someone left the bloody gate open and my best breeding stock just hopped away, never to be seen again. All I have left now is a didgeree-don't.
Gunna go all ontrapenurial instead, and I'm tossing up between opening a "tall-man's shop" in Tokyo or exporting after-dinner mints to Ethiopia.
Can't keep a good man down, ya know.
B.
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giffy76
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Re: How "BAD" can YOUR job be.....
« Reply #21 on: Aug 31st, 2005, 7:13am » |
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Brian, Where the hell do come up with this crap. LOL
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AussieBrian
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Re: How "BAD" can YOUR job be.....
« Reply #22 on: Aug 31st, 2005, 7:30am » |
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Gee, I hope that word means something different in your language to what it means in mine, but I've done it tough.
Tough with a capital F !!!
Quality Control Officer in the champagne factory, counting the bubbles. Can't count 'em all, of course, so you put a little grid on the top like a noughts-and-crosses square, watch just one of those squares and multiply by twelve.
That was a piece-work job. Not wages.
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Sandy_C
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Re: How "BAD" can YOUR job be.....
« Reply #23 on: Aug 31st, 2005, 7:37am » |
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Brian - you are something else! What - I don't know, just "else". Your brain waves and thought processes are on a whole different level than anybody I've ever known.
Sandy
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Lean on me when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
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AussieBrian
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Re: How "BAD" can YOUR job be.....
« Reply #24 on: Aug 31st, 2005, 8:15am » |
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Wow!! I've never been called an 'else' before, and I shall wear that as a badge of pride.
Next time a policeman asks me what the hell I think I'm doing I can reply, honestly, "Consternoon, afterble. It's ok, I'm an else."
Elses Rule! And come the revolution the no-one-elses will be first with their backs against the wall!
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Vulcrania horrendus - twice daily, then two at night in lieu of sleep.
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