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Topic: The Supporter From Hell (Read 325 times) |
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Jeepgun
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The Supporter From Hell
« on: Aug 25th, 2005, 11:22am » |
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The scene: An idyllic mountain retreat where a single woman with cluster headaches has met with her new beau for a weekend get-away. Log cabin, stone hearth, a fire in the fireplace... Everything is perfect. Prior to actually meeting for the first time, the woman has told him, "I get these awful headaches...." and he assured her that everything was cool.
That night, the woman gets hit with a cluster headache. As she sits up holding her eye, he reaches over to hold her and comfort her. She wrenches herself from his grip and tells him that she's going to be fine. As she gets up, he leaps out of bed and tackles her. She kicks him in the face, and proceeds to rock on the floor in the middle of the attack. He jumps up, stuffs a bunch of tissues into his bleeding nostrils, and proceeds to run around in circles, yelling and screaming and freaking out. She's still rocking and his efforts are only making the headache worse, and she starts moaning. (while putting her foot out and tripping him, knocking him down.)
Picking himself up, he runs over to the phone and dials 911, and in his excitement, ends up drastically overstating the nature of things, telling the operator that he's being terrorized, rather than "terrified."
Next, there is a SWAT team outside the door, the National Guard has been called, and the sky is filled with police helicopters panning floodlights over the cabin. The SWAT team breaks the door down, weapons drawn, yelling for everyone to freeze. The woman, unable to stop rocking, is perceived as a direct threat, at which point, one of the SWAT team members begins spraying her in the eyes with mace, and then they hit her with the tazer. She kicks the can of mace out of the guy's hand and screams, "I TOLD YOU NOT TO F*CK WITH ME!!!!" At this point, the SWAT team dogpiles on her and handcuffs her, dragging her away, while she's a screaming, cursing mess, yelling at her beau that she's going to rip his spleen out and eat it in front of him before he dies.
Last scene is a shot of the boyfriend sitting down and finding a cluster headache pamphlet on the dresser table and saying, "What the hell is 'custard headache'?"
The End. 
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| « Last Edit: Aug 25th, 2005, 11:34am by Jeepgun » |
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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Jasmyn
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Re: The Supporter From Hell
« Reply #1 on: Aug 25th, 2005, 11:27am » |
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Oh Frank, if you didn't suffer from the same malady I would have thought this was your story when you first met your wife! LMAO
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Jazz 
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floridian
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Re: The Supporter From Hell
« Reply #2 on: Aug 25th, 2005, 11:57am » |
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Thats why people should go through training and certification before they can be around us. They have to be certifiable.
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nani
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Re: The Supporter From Hell
« Reply #3 on: Aug 25th, 2005, 12:01pm » |
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on Aug 25th, 2005, 11:57am, floridian wrote:| They have to be certifiable. |
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 LMAO Jonathan! Ain't that the truth? 
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Margi
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Re: The Supporter From Hell
« Reply #4 on: Aug 25th, 2005, 12:05pm » |
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on Aug 25th, 2005, 11:57am, floridian wrote:| They have to be certifiable. |
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yeah, no shit Sherlock.
What was that saying? You don't have to be crazy to work here...but it helps!
Frank, I pray that is fiction. Otherwise, I'm writing that dude up in my handbook "How NOT to be a cluster supporter"!
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LeLimey
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Re: The Supporter From Hell
« Reply #5 on: Aug 25th, 2005, 12:05pm » |
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So we aren't nucking futs but our partners are?!!
Oh I like that!
Hey David!!! See???!!
The Clever Fella on here says you are a nut job not just me!!
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Jeepgun
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Re: The Supporter From Hell
« Reply #6 on: Aug 25th, 2005, 12:49pm » |
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on Aug 25th, 2005, 12:05pm, Margi wrote:| Frank, I pray that is fiction. Otherwise, I'm writing that dude up in my handbook "How NOT to be a cluster supporter"! |
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LOL! It's fiction. (Jeez... I hope this has never happened to anyone!) It actually came from a conversation I was having with someone about, "What if there were a HORRIBLE supporter, and how would they act?" I originally presented the idea to Rori (Lionsound) to see if it could be done as a skit at a convention, but then thought better of it. I think enough of us end up in the ER anyway, without breaking noses and getting maced and stuff... LMAO
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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BarbaraD
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Re: The Supporter From Hell
« Reply #7 on: Aug 25th, 2005, 1:48pm » |
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The bad part of it is that it COULD happen...... people are just that ignorant about CH.
But don't pay any attention to me today -- I'm coming down off a 9 right now and if anyone touches me SWAT may have to be called!!!!!! It's 110 in the shade outside and I'm on Granny duty..... Great day for a CH!!!!!!! 
Anyone want a date 
Hugs BD
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pattik
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Re: The Supporter From Hell
« Reply #8 on: Aug 25th, 2005, 3:50pm » |
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CH ART THEATRE
Act 1- "The Great Pea and Icecream Heist", by Kevin M.
Or "Dream Police Daily Tabloid"
http://www.clusterheadaches.com/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi?board=2005Gposts;a ction=display;num=1110024577
Act 2- "A Weekend in the Country", by Frank W.
This could make for some great entertainment.
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| « Last Edit: Aug 25th, 2005, 4:29pm by pattik » |
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nani
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Re: The Supporter From Hell
« Reply #9 on: Aug 25th, 2005, 3:53pm » |
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Act 3 Chuck and the Toilet Seat by ClusterChuck
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Others may come and go, but MY power is MINE.
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pattik
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Re: The Supporter From Hell
« Reply #10 on: Aug 25th, 2005, 3:56pm » |
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on Aug 25th, 2005, 3:53pm, nani wrote:| Act 3 Chuck and the Toilet Seat by ClusterChuck |
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forgot about that one LMAO
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The voyage of discovery is not about seeking new landscapes, it's about having new eyes--Marcel Proust
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seasonalboomer
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Re: The Supporter From Hell
« Reply #11 on: Aug 25th, 2005, 3:58pm » |
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on Aug 25th, 2005, 3:53pm, nani wrote:| Act 3 Chuck and the Toilet Seat by ClusterChuck |
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I don't think I've ever cried, laughing so hard at something I read on this site to date than "Chuck and the Toilet Seat".
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brainfreeze
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Re: The Supporter From Hell
« Reply #12 on: Aug 25th, 2005, 4:03pm » |
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Quote:| She kicks the can of mace out of the guy's hand and screams, "I TOLD YOU NOT TO F*CK WITH ME!!!!" |
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Cracks me up!!! Too true, and too funny.
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| « Last Edit: Aug 25th, 2005, 4:04pm by brainfreeze » |
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Sandy_C
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Re: The Supporter From Hell
« Reply #13 on: Aug 25th, 2005, 5:41pm » |
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It's an Oscar winner, Frank! Go for it! Write the screenplay!
Another "reality" show!
Sandy
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Lean on me when you're not strong
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Ree
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Re: The Supporter From Hell
« Reply #14 on: Aug 25th, 2005, 5:57pm » |
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lolol and she still married ya huh Frank....... lolol ree
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Mike_F
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Re: The Supporter From Hell
« Reply #15 on: Aug 25th, 2005, 6:16pm » |
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At first I thought that was going to be a true story and the thought of being maced, tazered, dogpiled and dragged away in handcuffs with a K10 raging scared the hell out of me! Then I realized it was fiction -- but it still scared the hell out me!
I thought, what a damn scary movie that would be, but then I realized only .1% of the population would get it. 
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Jonny
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Re: The Supporter From Hell
« Reply #16 on: Aug 25th, 2005, 6:23pm » |
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on Aug 25th, 2005, 6:16pm, Mike_F wrote:| I thought, what a damn scary movie that would be, but then I realized only .1% of the population would get it. |
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Thats probably why the movie "PI" tanked, I thought it sucked but it did portray CH like Ive never seen on film.
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
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Carl_D
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Re: The Supporter From Hell
« Reply #17 on: Aug 25th, 2005, 7:15pm » |
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I had a supporter from Hell before.
Oh the horror. THE HORROR!
In fact, I turned her into a character in my book. I fondly refer to her as the "raging c*nt" (most offensive word in my book).
Peace & Mace,
Carl D
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thebbz
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Re: The Supporter From Hell
« Reply #18 on: Aug 25th, 2005, 8:42pm » |
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Kudos Jeep!
Now that reminds me of my second wife. It may be fiction now...but give it time.
Hope your doing well
BB
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Charlie
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Re: The Supporter From Hell
« Reply #19 on: Aug 25th, 2005, 9:44pm » |
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Like they say. It may be fiction now.......
Everybody needs one of Helen's and OUCH UK's wallet cards. I forgot to get one to show my MD. He tells me that OUCH needs a good pamphlet....one not just for recruiting members. 
What do we have to do kids? One is definitely needed, not too fancy just one to let patients know they aren't alone. Try not to scare folks with art though. Not everybody is as tough as clusterheads.
Charlie
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thebbz
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Re: The Supporter From Hell
« Reply #20 on: Aug 25th, 2005, 10:14pm » |
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Good point Charlie.
I find it difficult if not impossible to tell people in the ER my name let alone all the rest of the dumb questions they all ask. That would be so cool to just say heres my card shoot me.
BB
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Jeepgun
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Re: The Supporter From Hell
« Reply #21 on: Aug 26th, 2005, 8:52am » |
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on Aug 25th, 2005, 8:42pm, thebbz wrote:Kudos Jeep!
Now that reminds me of my second wife. It may be fiction now...but give it time.
Hope your doing well
BB |
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Doing great!! I'm out of cycle, so life is good.  I hope you are pain-free too, Beebz!
[O|||||O]
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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Jeepgun
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Re: The Supporter From Hell
« Reply #22 on: Aug 26th, 2005, 8:53am » |
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on Aug 25th, 2005, 3:58pm, seasonalboomer wrote:
I don't think I've ever cried, laughing so hard at something I read on this site to date than "Chuck and the Toilet Seat". |
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LMAO!! I was torn between cringing and crossing my legs, and laughing myself into an aneurysm. LOL
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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burnt-toast
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Re: The Supporter From Hell
« Reply #23 on: Aug 26th, 2005, 9:01am » |
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All I can say is that its a good thing I got these things after being married. I don't think I could successfully explain them or have someone that was just getting to know me deal with them.
My supporter was already locked in and she doesn't deal with them all that well.
Tom
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Would the owner of the propane torch, egg beater, pipe expander and vise grips please claim these items. They're lodged in my head and I need the space.
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