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Topic: Anatomical & Psychological study of trolls (Read 463 times) |
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rextangle
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Anatomical & Psychological study of trolls
« on: Aug 10th, 2005, 8:10pm » |
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Trolls grow out of moldy corners of message boards.
They feed off words that they catch when no one is watching.
Once they reach maturity (so to speak) they infiltrate topics in a random manner. After a while, they start smelling bad and generate their own topics.
Often they irritate people, which is a commun reaction known in the medical world as trollocaxium allergicus.
Their bacteria which also serves as semen spreads and end up in the same moldy corners that they originated from. Then new baby trolls grow from there.
The parents now help feeding the babies with hateful replies they've obtained from their posts.
The topics that trolls defecate can vary from "drink your own piss" to "world conspiracy" to "booze is a treatment for CH".
Getting rid of trolls is often difficult as they fake their own death and then reappear under a different name and different sex and from a different country.
Considering the difficulty of complete extermination I think that we should adopt or elect a "Trollminator".
Or, whenever we spot a new troll, instead of hating them, which they feed off, we could simply send them all the love we can, to the point where it's unbearable.
Example:
TROLL: "Alcohol should be considered a treatment instead of a trigger"
BOARD MEMBER:"Wow! You are so intelligent and knowledgable...  I am so impressed.  I will go to the liquor store right now and get shit faced ... I love you! Where have you been all my life? 
------THE END------
What do you guys think?
Let's talk... 
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don
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Re: Anatomical & Psychological study of trolls
« Reply #1 on: Aug 10th, 2005, 8:13pm » |
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I'd rather just shoot em.
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Redd
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Re: Anatomical & Psychological study of trolls
« Reply #2 on: Aug 10th, 2005, 8:15pm » |
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Rex you are sooooo funny. But you know...this just might work, except for one small problem. Newbies who are desperate and at the end of their wits trying to find relief and they actually read our comments and go forth and actually TAKE the advice.
I shudder at the thought.
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rextangle
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Re: Anatomical & Psychological study of trolls
« Reply #3 on: Aug 10th, 2005, 8:24pm » |
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Don, shooting them creates a mess... you're gonna clean that?
Redd, hmm... I didn't think about the newbies 
That's exactly why I said "Let's talk"... CRAP! I thought I had come up with something cool...
dammit! Dammit! DAMMIT!
Fuck the fuckin' post office!!!!!!
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| « Last Edit: Aug 10th, 2005, 8:25pm by rextangle » |
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Redd
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Re: Anatomical & Psychological study of trolls
« Reply #4 on: Aug 10th, 2005, 8:25pm » |
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on Aug 10th, 2005, 8:24pm, rextangle wrote:Don, shooting them creates a mess... you're gonna clean that?
Redd, hmm... I didn't think about the newbies
That's exactly why I said "Let's talk"... CRAP! I thought I had come up with something cool...
dammit! Dammit! DAMMIT!
Fuck the fuckin' post office!!!!!! |
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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LeLimey
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Re: Anatomical & Psychological study of trolls
« Reply #5 on: Aug 10th, 2005, 8:29pm » |
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Yup, whilst they are the most annoyingly puerile bottom feeding pond life to us... to people who come here looking for answers their "information" is as relevant as ours.
I vote for continuing to discredit them at every opportunity and making it clear that their views are, in the case of Ali, kranky and dangerous and in the case of John, dildo, whatever.. not even CH driven. Future trolls should be handled accordingly. It should also be remembered that not all trolls (sadly) are those two. What an easy life it would be if that were the case!
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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rextangle
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Re: Anatomical & Psychological study of trolls
« Reply #6 on: Aug 10th, 2005, 8:30pm » |
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Go to bed Helen... it's like 2:30am in England!!
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kimmeesue
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Re: Anatomical & Psychological study of trolls
« Reply #7 on: Aug 10th, 2005, 8:33pm » |
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I think we should sent them "Jonnylove". And lots of it.
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rextangle
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Re: Anatomical & Psychological study of trolls
« Reply #8 on: Aug 10th, 2005, 8:35pm » |
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on Aug 10th, 2005, 8:33pm, kimmeesue wrote:| I think we should sent them "Jonnylove". And lots of it. |
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Yeah, except they feed off that stuff... (read my study) 
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LeLimey
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Re: Anatomical & Psychological study of trolls
« Reply #9 on: Aug 10th, 2005, 8:41pm » |
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on Aug 10th, 2005, 8:30pm, rextangle wrote:| Go to bed Helen... it's like 2:30am in England!! |
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yes and 4am I'll be up and dancing.
I'm not ready for that yet hon. 
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Redd
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Re: Anatomical & Psychological study of trolls
« Reply #10 on: Aug 10th, 2005, 8:57pm » |
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Sis.......
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cootie
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Re: Anatomical & Psychological study of trolls
« Reply #11 on: Aug 10th, 2005, 11:11pm » |
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Maybe we should start off asking people to rate themelves from 1 to 10 on there profile
1.......happy
2.......content
3.......so-so
4.......could be better
5.......seen worse
6.......sad
7.......unhappy
8.......mad
9.......pissed off
10.....TROLL
1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9.............Pam 
edit.....spelling.....if you ever require proper spelling I am OUT........
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| « Last Edit: Aug 10th, 2005, 11:13pm by cootie » |
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Jeepgun
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Re: Anatomical & Psychological study of trolls
« Reply #12 on: Aug 11th, 2005, 7:39am » |
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LMAO, Rex!!
Clean it up? Hey, just put it in a styrofoam cup and put it in the freezer. Then, peeling the styrofoam away, you have the troll-guts puck!! (Similar to the piss-puck, but not nearly as fun...) Anyway... Just trying to help. 
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Sandy_C
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Re: Anatomical & Psychological study of trolls
« Reply #13 on: Aug 11th, 2005, 7:57am » |
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Rex - not a bad idea, but I have to agree with Redd about the newbies. Newbies will read the troll's posts and think their info is just as accurate as any of the other info they read, and might just give it a try. We have to be very careful with our newbies. Also, when a newbie posts we should treat them with kindness and great respect, until we determine that they actually are a  TROLL! Then we bring out the  . Someone (can't remember who or exactly which boards) posted a great Troll picture and a great big disclaimer after it - something like "This is a troll - don't believe a word he says". I really liked that one
Sandy
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Jeepgun
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Re: Anatomical & Psychological study of trolls
« Reply #14 on: Aug 11th, 2005, 8:00am » |
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"The beatings will continue until morale improves. CH.com: Beating you like family! Brought to you by the Hellfire Club and S&M Television! Your total PAIN network!!!!"
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| « Last Edit: Aug 11th, 2005, 8:02am by Jeepgun » |
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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rextangle
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Re: Anatomical & Psychological study of trolls
« Reply #15 on: Aug 11th, 2005, 12:48pm » |
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Yes Sandy, you are right!
Frank, LMAO! You have some kind of fetish about freezing stuff in styrofoam or what??? TROLLSICKLE!!!
Helen (LeLimey) is the one that puts up the TROLL warnings.
Great job Helen! I think that should be your job if you care to continue.
I can be the TROLL-TROLLER, I will follow them in every post, (or post office for that matter) and troll them!
Can I? Can I? 
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Redd
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Re: Anatomical & Psychological study of trolls
« Reply #16 on: Aug 11th, 2005, 12:52pm » |
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on Aug 11th, 2005, 12:48pm, rextangle wrote:
I can be the TROLL-TROLLER, I will follow them in every post, (or post office for that matter) and troll them!
Can I? Can I? |
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Please submit your resume to both DD and I for consideration to be included in the troll slayers committee. Deadline for submission is midnight the day hell freezes over.
to clarify: (means no deadline exists)
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| « Last Edit: Aug 11th, 2005, 12:54pm by Redd » |
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sandie99
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Re: Anatomical & Psychological study of trolls
« Reply #17 on: Aug 11th, 2005, 1:00pm » |
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Shooting the troll would be kind of appealing but the constant change of identity and country makes the aiming bit difficult...
Too bad we can't add flashing "TROLL! DON'T PAY ATTENTION!" warning over each troll post so newbies cannot read their "advices"... 
I think we should put them into their place by replying to their posts for newbie's sake. And yeah, our own peace of mind. Nothing gives some extra energy than giving piece of one's mind to a troll!
Peace,
Sanna 
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Re: Anatomical & Psychological study of trolls
« Reply #18 on: Aug 11th, 2005, 1:00pm » |
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on Aug 11th, 2005, 12:48pm, rextangle wrote:Yes Sandy, you are right!
Frank, LMAO! You have some kind of fetish about freezing stuff in styrofoam or what??? TROLLSICKLE!!! |
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Yeah, but they're bitter and taste really nasty....
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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rextangle
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Re: Anatomical & Psychological study of trolls
« Reply #19 on: Aug 11th, 2005, 1:02pm » |
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Redd, just sent you my resume
Sanna, let's hope the newbies use their commun sense.
Most CH sufferers, luckily, have a high IQ.
Some doctors could be considered TROLLS as well.
As long as Helen (Eagle Eye) spots them on time, we're good to go!
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Re: Anatomical & Psychological study of trolls
« Reply #20 on: Aug 11th, 2005, 1:04pm » |
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on Aug 11th, 2005, 1:02pm, rextangle wrote:Most CH sufferers, luckily, have a high IQ.
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Inspite of what you might gather by reading these forums.......
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rextangle
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Re: Anatomical & Psychological study of trolls
« Reply #21 on: Aug 11th, 2005, 1:07pm » |
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on Aug 11th, 2005, 1:04pm, seasonalboomer wrote:
Inspite of what you might gather by reading these forums.......
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LMAO.... you'd never guess, that's right!
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Melissa
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Re: Anatomical & Psychological study of trolls
« Reply #22 on: Aug 11th, 2005, 1:22pm » |
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Troll Troller?
Hmmmm.... buzz bait, spoon, mr. twister or poppers?
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Jeepgun
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Re: Anatomical & Psychological study of trolls
« Reply #23 on: Aug 11th, 2005, 1:43pm » |
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Swollen cluster-eyeballs work good as bait.
Fargin' trolls!! We're keepin' an eye out for you!! 
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| « Last Edit: Aug 11th, 2005, 1:44pm by Jeepgun » |
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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Re: Anatomical & Psychological study of trolls
« Reply #24 on: Aug 11th, 2005, 2:52pm » |
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If there are trolls around, you can be sure that the Troll fighting Duo of Redd and DD will be there...
...And Jonny is there with his boots to kick the S.O.B. out into the alley when we are done with his carcass.
Have Stick will Poke,
DD
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