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Topic: Bad Day Updated - Now Good Days ahead! :) (Read 448 times) |
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Lizzie2
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Bad Day Updated - Now Good Days ahead! :)
« on: Aug 5th, 2005, 12:19pm » |
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Well...I'm on lunch break from work.....a realllllly bad day at work.
I'm supposed to have 2 preceptors for my time in the ICN. Today is the first day I've worked with the one. She is SO freaking mean! I just was sitting outside with my 2 best friends here and started to cry because I don't even want to go back to finish out my day. Thank GOD I'm only working until 3 today, or else I'd seriously jump out the 8th story window.
I've been mainly working with the one preceptor as well as a few others who have been totally great. This girl today is ripping apart everything I'm doing. Even though I'm doing stuff the way I was taught to do it, she is totally tearing me up. Which in turn, is making me just that more nervous - which makes me do worse.
Then...on top of that....every time I turn around, she's whispering and telling her 'friends' about how incompetent I am. And yeah - most people don't whisper that inaudibly. So when I left for lunch, I went into the break room to get my lunch out of the fridge. She was in there telling the whole 'situation' to this other nurse, who then started at me with a big smirk on her face when I walked in.
So I grabbed my lunch, shut the fridge door fast and just walked out of the room. I think the wonderful preceptor  turned around to see who was behind her, but I didn't even look at her. Just walked out the door.
I just love how now people think I'm a total idiot at work. My other preceptor is back this weekend, but then...so is this girl. I had better be with Lisa! My friends said I should talk to our nurse manager about changing preceptors at least for the one I have today, but I know if I go to her today, I'll cry. So I'm going to talk to Lisa about it first thing tomorrow and hopefully she'll have some good advice.
<sigh>
Sorry...just had to vent. Got 10 minutes before I have to be back in hell. Normally, I really like my job...even though it's stressful and I have a lot to learn....but today, I could care less if I even come back.... 
Carrie
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| « Last Edit: Aug 9th, 2005, 10:27pm by Lizzie2 » |
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sandie99
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Re: Bad Day
« Reply #1 on: Aug 5th, 2005, 12:32pm » |
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Carrie...
I'm so sorry that you will have to have a bitch for a preceptor... 
I would give some advice, but I'm very bad with dealing with people like her myself.
But I'm sure that her behaviour is a result of loving to have some power over someone and/or her own insecurities.
I know you know precisely what to do and how to do your job. I hope that the nice preceptor will be back soon and she will tell everybody how marvellous job are doing all the time! 
Hang on there!!!!!
No jumping out of the windows, okay?
Go to kick the preceptor bitch's ass by doing excellent job! 
Recall that you can write to me anytime, ok?
Hugs,
Sanna
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"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
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rextangle
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Forgive my ignorance, but I'm not sure what a preceptor is.
It is my understanding that it's nothing but a bitch with a title on a power trip, and maybe a uniform?
Anyway, don't let her make you cry. Everytime she says something to you, picture her sitting on a toilet with a viking hat on.... it really works and it will make you more confident.
If that fails, a simple old school ass whoopin should do the trick.
Good luck to you!
Rex
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| « Last Edit: Aug 5th, 2005, 12:39pm by rextangle » |
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Topical
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Re: Bad Day
« Reply #3 on: Aug 5th, 2005, 1:26pm » |
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People do that to make themselves feel superior. It's an ego thing. Don't let what that co-worker is doing stop you from having a good day. Your sour face will only reinforce to others the false impression.
Instead try to smile knowing that the person views you as a threat. Yes, you are that good.
Have a good weekend (if you get it off!)
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jcmquix
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Re: Bad Day
« Reply #4 on: Aug 5th, 2005, 1:54pm » |
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Carrie..
Hang Tough... As everyone said I think she already knows you are better than her, thats the only reason that she is trying to down grade you.
I have talked to you a few times here in my times of need, I know you are a very caring person, and you know how to do your job.
We will all be Praying for You...
Have a Better Day !!!
Charlie
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Jeepgun
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Re: Bad Day
« Reply #5 on: Aug 5th, 2005, 1:58pm » |
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Poison her coffee.
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sassy_lady
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Re: Bad Day
« Reply #6 on: Aug 5th, 2005, 2:22pm » |
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I agree with the smiling, keep a smile on your face , head up high, & let her do her thing, she will look like the DUMB ASS in the end, Plus people will see her for who she really is, Don't give her your power, take hers away from her by letting her do all the work for you, cause people don't like people like that, you will see, just keep smiling & doing your job!!
Happy & peaceful days to you!!
Lots of Love & Prayers to you & yours..
PFDAN Jolene
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LeLimey
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Re: Bad Day
« Reply #7 on: Aug 5th, 2005, 2:53pm » |
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She can't make you feel low if you don't let her.
Plagiarising Eleanor Roosevelt who was a very wise woman and so are you. Don't say it but remember the words of another VERY wise woman whom you DO know.. our very own DD.. smile at her sweetly and say "That's nice" which as we all know is Southern Charm School-speak for "F*ck You". That's stood me in good stead many's the time and I owe many a debt of gratitude to sister Donna!
Just passing on the good advice and a smile! (Cos I know you well enough to know you smiled at that didn't you Carrie?!! )
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sandie99
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Re: Bad Day
« Reply #8 on: Aug 5th, 2005, 2:59pm » |
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I have yet to learn how to smile bitchily while saying nice things.... 
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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Lizzie2
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Re: Bad Day
« Reply #9 on: Aug 5th, 2005, 5:36pm » |
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LOL thanks guys...
When I went back, I just did what I had to do...said what I had to say....smiled, but didn't give her any of my personality to stomp on. hhaha
This family in one room asked me their baby's weight, and I had to step out to look at the chart (they were in isolation), and then the preceptor started explaining to me how she holds the suction catheter so that I don't have 'so many problems' suctioning.
I told her that I have no problems doing that usually, but today was my first day doing it inside the isolette. She then said, "The door of the isolette was open. It's no different." I said yes it is because it has a top and is much more confined, plus you can't see what you are doing very well.
Then she said some other thing of criticism, and I said, "Oh well Lisa said to do it this way because xxx...... so that's why I was doing that." She still tried to tell me it was wrong, but I didn't care at that point.
When she getting close to finishing explaining the suctioning technique, I had picked up the chart to check the baby's weight before I forgot. She then said, "Am I boring you?" Arrrrrrrrrrg. I said no, but that I needed to look up the weight before I forgot.
The one manager told me that I will be with the same babies tomorrow, so I asked her if I was with Lisa. She said yes.....I better be!!!
Home now at least... Thanks for the support.
I know that it's all about my blocking her out and not letting her get me down, but she really does make me feel (and look) completely incompetent. At one point this morning, she was telling me something about the feed, and I finally got sick of the criticism. I said, "I'm not an idiot...despite how I may look."
Ugh...
Well....I have to work 7a-7p both days this weekend, but hopefully I won't have to work with her! Thanks again!
Carrie
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DonnaHar
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Carrie, I know exactly where you are. I had two preceptors when I was a new monitor tech. One was hard but fair and the other one was horrible to me. She said "sit right there and just watch me as I talk you through this". Well, I sat there but she didn't say a word to me all day. I had no clue what some of the hearts were doing.
But the lesson I learned at the end of two horrific weeks was......everyone else on the floor knew just what she was made of. You can fool some of the people some of the time..etc.
In the end, you will hear people tell you how strong and together you are for having the strength and professionalism for dealing with her without losing your cool. That what the charges want.....people just like you. Having talked to you in the past, I know you've got what it takes. You will be a wonderful nurse. You have the right stuff. Keep focused on your patient and do what you know is right.
Just bide your time, get through it without making enemies and someday soon you will be happy that you did.
You will have the chance to grade your preceptors when your orientation is over, so start thinking of a nice way to let them know that she is one rotten teacher and mean person.
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Charlie
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Re: Bad Day
« Reply #11 on: Aug 5th, 2005, 6:01pm » |
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Try Helen's solution but I have to say that Frank's idea has a lot of appeal.
Wish you had some clusterheads there with you. 
Charlie
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Cerberus
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Re: Bad Day
« Reply #12 on: Aug 5th, 2005, 11:44pm » |
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Carrie,
Knowing you, and knowing the type of nurse you are, and the compassion and effort you put into your work... there are several schools of thinking to solve this dillemma.
1. Kill tha bitch ( this should really be the last choice)
2. Kill her with kindness
3. Take a mental note of all her shortcomings, and failures within the workplace and make a public spectacle of her. ( rather drastic but really entertaining if you are into revenge)
4. ignore her and continue to do your best regardless of what she says.
My personal favorite is 1 and 3 but 4 is probably the prudent choice. Always standing behind ya 100% cause we know better.
Ramon
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cootie
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Re: Bad Day
« Reply #13 on: Aug 6th, 2005, 12:58am » |
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People like her THRIVE on makeing newbies miserable.....since she 'knows it all'she feels confident you don't......she does things her way and jumps on the opportunity to critisize you. I think if you could look at her as if 'she' is the odiot without sayin it you could mess her up.....and be nice and ask questions whatever while doing it. Try to mentally change the tables in your head.....pretend you are teaching her. Mental games Pam
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Melissa
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on Aug 5th, 2005, 5:36pm, Lizzie2 wrote:
I know that it's all about my blocking her out and not letting her get me down, but she really does make me feel (and look) completely incompetent. |
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Now Carrie, WHO is making you feel that way? Surely not her, but YOU. You are only as competent as you think you are. Hon, I've dealt with bitches like this at every single job I've held. They see someone who has confidence in what they're doing, and try to take them down a few notches by sabatoging (sp?) their feelings. They seem to know exactly how to get under a womans skin by attacking her sense of self worth. Now, if you can keep this in mind (along with Rex's vision of toilet & horns), you can make it through any more interactions with this person.
Let your love for the children outweigh her negativity affecting you.
hugs,
mel
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KMT
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Re: Bad Day
« Reply #15 on: Aug 6th, 2005, 10:14am » |
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Sorry for the bad days at work. Just keep smiling and know that soon you will not have to have someone watching you not to mention you will be doing it ways that you feel comfortable. You will get a system down and she can't say anything as long as the job was accomplished and no harm came to the pt.
Take care Lizzie2. It is going to be ok. Can't wait to do what you are doing .
 This is for your preceptor for making you upset....
Kim
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Kirk
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Re: Bad Day
« Reply #16 on: Aug 6th, 2005, 11:56am » |
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Put some Alum in her Coffee. I'm sure you know where it is. 
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Lizzie2
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Re: Bad Day
« Reply #17 on: Aug 9th, 2005, 10:27pm » |
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Just wanted to give an update! And no...I didn't do anything mean to her...just as an up front! (although, it was tempting!)
I had a mini conference with Lisa (my main preceptor) on Saturday morning. I told her everything that had happened. She was upset/angered by the situation. She thought Janet acted totally inappropriately. She was also just plain shocked by some of the things Janet had said! That morning, she left a message for Sue, our nurse manager, and Chris, our clinical nurse specialist - regarding the situation and giving her recommendation that I shouldn't be paired with Janet again. Lisa really helped me to feel much better about it! I had the same infants to care for over the weekend, and I did almost all of the care on my own! I relied on Lisa for help, but she let me do most everything by myself unless I needed assistance or she wanted to show me some tips and give advice.
Then Chris and Sue got the messages yesterday when they came back to work, but I was off yesterday. I sat down with Chris today and we talked for about a half hour about the situation. She felt bad about the whole thing, and she apologized that I'd had the experience - especially since I'm a brand new RN - not even just new to the unit or a new neonatal nurse, but a new nurse all around!
She'd talked with Sue and they'd come up with a possible solution. Today, I was paired with another very experienced nurse named Sheila. We had two easy to care for kids. Actually, I'd had both kids before, and it was very basic care, but Chris said she'd wanted to give me a little break after the incident! Sheila is very soft spoken, but she does help me and guide me with new things or things I need help on. She's the opposite personality from Lisa (who is a firecracker), but they both are extraordinarily helpful!
Chris asked me if I would switch my work day this week from Thursday to Wednesday so that I could be with Sheila again since Sheila's off on Thursday. That was fine with me - just had to cancel one appt and may have to go down to the city on Thursday for another one. Chris said she also wanted to ask Sheila if she would mind being the preceptor who 'fills in' when Lisa isn't there - that was what Janet was to do, but that's obviously not a situation that I'll be continuing! Shelia's orientee is in her last week, so Chris just has to ask her if she minds having me as an orientee here and there while she is a resource person to her other orientee. We'll then readjust my schedule to make sure it lines up with Lisa and Sheila!
MUCH better situation! I'm so glad that it all worked out! Tomorrow, I have one of the same kids from today (basically just a feeder/grower), and a kid on an oscillating vent - which is something I haven't had yet and takes quite a bit of work/learning! The two kids are in the same room (thank goodness) and right next to each other (most of our rooms hold 6 kids), so it should be an ideal learning experience! The respiratory therapist is going to review oscillators with me tomorrow morning!
Just wanted to give an update!!! Thanks again for all of the help/support!!!
Carrie
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Jeepgun
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Re: Bad Day Updated - Now Good Days ahead! :
« Reply #18 on: Aug 10th, 2005, 7:04am » |
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Glad to hear that you had a better day, Carrie. Also, with the preceptor who is a bitch, do your best to make friends with her. Take her criticism as instruction, and really make her feel that you are listening to what she's saying and accepting her guidance. Once she's satisfied that you are doing that, she'll back off and leave you alone, and will probably be a lot more friendly to you. It's like that old saying from "The Art Of War"
"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer."
Good luck.
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ozzy
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Re: Bad Day Updated - Now Good Days ahead! :
« Reply #19 on: Aug 10th, 2005, 7:51am » |
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Quote:| Take her criticism as instruction, and really make her feel that you are listening to what she's saying and accepting her guidance. Once she's satisfied that you are doing that, she'll back off and leave you alone, and will probably be a lot more friendly to you. |
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I think Frank hit right on the nose. I would also like to add, sorry Carrie but from now on this is life. Unfair, a pain in th a$$, etc. We all deal with co-workers that stab you in the back, bosses that yell at you for reasons that only they know. You're the rookie, it comes with the territory. Nothing to do with age. I've been the rookie in the group many times as my career advanced. The key is to do your job and to do it well. Listen to criticism and don't take it personally. That's for 90% of the situations. for the other 10%, that's when you take action.
For now, just listen and keep learning. It's the best part of work.
Ozzy
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cootie
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Re: Bad Day Updated - Now Good Days ahead! :
« Reply #20 on: Aug 10th, 2005, 10:24am » |
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good info here....your very very rite Frank and ozzy.....it really IS life. Seems the more expirienced can be less tolerant of the less'r but then can also be hard on you......hard knocks I think there called. It can make you more determin'd and stronger but it can also break you.......I guess that is the idea for some. They see it as a challenge to see what yer made of and push there weight around. They know more then you and they know you have to take it.....sum get self satisfaction out of it. I just HATE to see when someone gets overboard with all that and actually discourages someone or freaks them out. They need to at least explain WHY they are how they are ONCE to you....so you don't take it personal and carry on as they were if they must. I've been dscouraged from things because I did NOT want to put up with the crap.....I didn't give in......I just didn't need it and moved on. I am one of them types that prefer's a solitary job. Me myself and I worker Pam
I give myself more shit then any boss or manager could anyhow.....I am hard on myself..............
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Lizzie2
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Re: Bad Day Updated - Now Good Days ahead! :
« Reply #21 on: Aug 10th, 2005, 11:50am » |
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LOL I know it's life - but I have a personal belief that if you're miserable, it isn't worth it. So - I spoke with my other preceptor (who is excellent) and the nurse manager and was pulled out of the situation with the horrible preceptor.
That wasn't learning...that was someone standing at my shoulder and yelling at me for about 8 hours straight or so. I don't need that - nobody needs that - and yes we all have problems outside of work, but that doesn't give anyone the right to take it out on others - especially not someone you are supposed to be helping to learn a job.
There are ways to criticize constructively, and then there are people who just tear you down. To me, these people are like cancer to your life. Just have to cut them off. If they get mad or don't like you for it, well...I'm not losing out frankly. Yes, she's one nurse in our unit, but her opinion of me and treatment of me does not change a thing about my job and how I do it.
I'm not a naive little kid... Life has handed me enough shit in 24 years for me to know that life isn't fair or even halfway decent much of the time. It is what you make of it....and it's all about how you handle it. I just personally wouldn't want to be around someone like this woman - and so I took the necessary steps to ensure that I don't have to be.
But thanks for the words of advice. Much appreciated - I just have strong opinions on this, and I'm sticking to my guns.
Carrie
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Jeepgun
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Re: Bad Day Updated - Now Good Days ahead! :
« Reply #22 on: Aug 10th, 2005, 11:52am » |
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Well, in that case, good for you for standing up for yourself, Carrie. Certainly, no one deserves to be abused or belittled, particularly in front of patients. Best wishes.
-Frank
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Re: Bad Day Updated - Now Good Days ahead! :
« Reply #23 on: Aug 10th, 2005, 11:56am » |
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Learn from the experience, do what you have to do and next time shit in their coffee cup! 
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I can't believe that I have to bang my
Head against this wall again
But the blows they have just a little more
Space in-between them
Gonna take a breath and try again.
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Re: Bad Day Updated - Now Good Days ahead! :
« Reply #24 on: Aug 10th, 2005, 12:11pm » |
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Quack, Quack Lil' Sis....
Remember?
DD
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