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Topic: I'm Still LAUGHING!!! Very Funny (Read 164 times) |
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aprilbee
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Ain't I a stinkah!!
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I'm Still LAUGHING!!! Very Funny
« on: Jul 13th, 2005, 11:22am » |
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ONE: Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that
you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a
half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the
teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six,
nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets,
but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered
six McNuggets
TWO: I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few
items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.
I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register
and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the
girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider", looking
it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar
code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?" I said to her
"I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said
"OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what
had just happened.
THREE : A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her
floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to
what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept
asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
FOUR: I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
"Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have
replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into
my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store)
would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an
alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered,
handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually
unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check
about the batteries. It's a long walk."
FIVE: Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift
One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost
out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper,"
the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining
blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make
five "blank" copies.
SIX: I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home
was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of
repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister."
I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had
set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
SEVEN: My neighbor works in the operations department in the central
office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have
problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in
one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming
from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
EIGHT: Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a
metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy
machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police
pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't
telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the
suspect confessed.
NINE: A mother called 911 very worried and asking the dispatcher if she
needed to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants.
The dispatcher told her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be
fine. The mother said, "I just gave him some ant killer..... "
Dispatcher: "Rush him in to emergency!"
Life is tough. But it's tougher if your stupid.
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nani
CH.com Alumnus
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Got kudzu?
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Re: I'm Still LAUGHING!!! Very Funny
« Reply #1 on: Jul 13th, 2005, 11:29am » |
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 ROTFLMAO!
Sadly (and amusingly), I know people like that.
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Others may come and go, but MY power is MINE.
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aprilbee
CH.com Alumnus
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Ain't I a stinkah!!
Gender:
Posts: 1442
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Re: I'm Still LAUGHING!!! Very Funny
« Reply #2 on: Jul 13th, 2005, 11:37am » |
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on Jul 13th, 2005, 11:29am, nani wrote: ROTFLMAO!
Sadly (and amusingly), I know people like that. |
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SOMETIMES, I am people like that!! If I had a quarter for every time my husband rolled his eyes at something I've done, I'd have a LOT of quarters!! 
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burnt-toast
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Re: I'm Still LAUGHING!!! Very Funny
« Reply #3 on: Jul 13th, 2005, 11:39am » |
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We've practically wiped out common sense education and knowledge with formal/higher education and parents that don't have/make time to fill in the gaps.
The result is an increasing % of the population without any grasp of the basics. Give em' books and give em' more books but still they can't read. 
Tom
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Would the owner of the propane torch, egg beater, pipe expander and vise grips please claim these items. They're lodged in my head and I need the space.
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nani
CH.com Alumnus
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Got kudzu?
Gender:
Posts: 7953
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Re: I'm Still LAUGHING!!! Very Funny
« Reply #4 on: Jul 13th, 2005, 11:40am » |
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on Jul 13th, 2005, 11:37am, aprilbee wrote:
SOMETIMES, I am people like that!! If I had a quarter for every time my husband rolled his eyes at something I've done, I'd have a LOT of quarters!! |
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OK...I admit it...I am, too.  My hubby's an eye-roller, also. 
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Others may come and go, but MY power is MINE.
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jcmquix
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Re: I'm Still LAUGHING!!! Very Funny
« Reply #5 on: Jul 13th, 2005, 11:48am » |
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I do this  at least once a day with my wife
I still LOVE her though... 
PFDAN's to ALL !!
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Would the owner of the propane torch, egg beater, pipe expander and vise grips please claim these items. They're lodged in my head and I need the space. (burnt-toast)
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ExplodingEyeBall
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Re: I'm Still LAUGHING!!! Very Funny
« Reply #6 on: Jul 13th, 2005, 12:46pm » |
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I work with all of those people.
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Just poke out my eye and get it over with!!!
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Ghost
CH.com Alumnus
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Farting relieves the pressure
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Re: I'm Still LAUGHING!!! Very Funny
« Reply #7 on: Jul 13th, 2005, 12:57pm » |
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on Jul 13th, 2005, 12:46pm, ExplodingEyeBall wrote:| I work with all of those people. |
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I didnt know we worked together cause so do I
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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sandie99
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Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
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Re: I'm Still LAUGHING!!! Very Funny
« Reply #8 on: Jul 13th, 2005, 1:57pm » |
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Thank you...
Made my bright day brighter.
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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