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Topic: The Monkey & The Lizard (Read 283 times) |
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Jeepgun
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The Monkey & The Lizard
« on: Jun 28th, 2005, 7:39am » |
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A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey, "Hey! What are you doing?"
The monkey says "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they share a few puffs. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river.
The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.
A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?"
The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the monkey in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.
The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle, finds the tree were the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint.
The Crocodile looks up and says "Hey!"
The Monkey looks down and says....
Fuuuuuuuuck..... Duuuuuuude.....how much water did you drink?!!"
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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Bethany1
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Re: The Monkey & The Lizard
« Reply #1 on: Jun 28th, 2005, 7:49am » |
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I am sofa king we todd did.
crack is wack
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LeLimey
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Re: The Monkey & The Lizard
« Reply #2 on: Jun 28th, 2005, 7:52am » |
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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burnt-toast
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Re: The Monkey & The Lizard
« Reply #3 on: Jun 28th, 2005, 8:16am » |
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Edited to say -
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| « Last Edit: Jun 28th, 2005, 8:18am by burnt-toast » |
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Would the owner of the propane torch, egg beater, pipe expander and vise grips please claim these items. They're lodged in my head and I need the space.
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pattik
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Re: The Monkey & The Lizard
« Reply #4 on: Jun 28th, 2005, 9:14am » |
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The voyage of discovery is not about seeking new landscapes, it's about having new eyes--Marcel Proust
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aprilbee
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Ain't I a stinkah!!
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Re: The Monkey & The Lizard
« Reply #5 on: Jun 28th, 2005, 11:33am » |
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clarence
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Re: The Monkey & The Lizard
« Reply #6 on: Jun 28th, 2005, 1:02pm » |
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That was perfect after reading all the way through that BobP thread.
Casey
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miCHel
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Re: The Monkey & The Lizard
« Reply #7 on: Jun 28th, 2005, 1:26pm » |
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Great one, Frank!
I just love these jokes where you have no clue where they're going!
miCHel
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Good one Scotty! Now beam down my clothes...
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Margi
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Re: The Monkey & The Lizard
« Reply #8 on: Jun 28th, 2005, 5:00pm » |
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I've had so much fun with this joke today here at work! Best one I've heard in a LONG time!! Thanks Frank! 
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And, on the Eighth Day...God created Beer (to stop the Canadians from taking over the world)
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IMHO (which in my universe is correct)
kathy copelin, ch.com 8/8/06
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