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Topic: Not such a good day ... (Read 531 times) |
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TonyG1
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Today was not such a good day... I'm deeply and profoundly sad tonite because I got news today that my little dog I've had for almost 13 years is suffering from late stage liver disease ...  The prognosis isn't so good. Interestingly enough there weren't any warning signs... she got sick a couple of weeks ago and off to the vet we went ...
Came here to vent as you folks were a great support to me when I was in my cluster cycle and you continue that work in other arenas as well. I have never felt so tired in all of my 39 years as I do right now. <sigh> Some kinda cosmic joke I think ... Let's make Tony a clusterhead and if that isn't enough let's take away all the ppl (dogs included) that matter to him. That bites hard !!!!  I don't have faith in anything right now and suspect it will be worse when I have to make that final trip to the vet with my dog ....
Thanks for letting me vent !
T.
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Jeepgun
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Re: Not such a good day ...
« Reply #1 on: Jun 27th, 2005, 9:27pm » |
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Oh man.... Tony, I'm so sorry. I lost my cat about a month ago, from a tick that was carrying "Bobcat Fever," which is apparently, some sort of parasite that destroys the red blood cells. We thought we'd caught it in time, and even the veterinarian was hopeful, but in less than a week, he died. *long, sad sigh...*
Hang in there. 
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Kris_in_SJ
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Re: Not such a good day ...
« Reply #2 on: Jun 27th, 2005, 9:41pm » |
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I'm so sorry, Tony,
My beloved cat is getting on in years, and I'm dreading the time
Also, I built a pond this spring and stocked it with beautiful fish. Who would think you could build a bond with pond fish?!? But I did, and 2 days ago, the neighborhood "evil wondering cat" ate my favorite one for breakfast. I'm still crying over it.
The bond we build with our pets is a special one, and the pain is hard to bear. My heart goes out to you.
Many Hugs.
Kris
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TonyG1
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Re: Not such a good day ...
« Reply #3 on: Jun 27th, 2005, 11:10pm » |
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Thanks Frank & Kris -- So sorry for your losses as well !!
I'm just gonna take things as they come... she isn't suffering (according to the vet) yet. That is the last thing in the world I will allow to happen (suffering) and will do what I have to do as much as I will hate to do so. On the inside I'll be saying   At least suffering is one thing I know something about (being a clusterhead) and I could not stand the thought -- she has been a comfort over the years during my attacks.. always patient and waiting for my dances with the devil to be over and the least I can do is to return the favor by staying with her when the time comes ...
Damnit... sometimes life just sucks !!!
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nani
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Re: Not such a good day ...
« Reply #4 on: Jun 27th, 2005, 11:29pm » |
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I'm so sorry Tony. It's always hard to go through this kind of thing. Just keep loving her as much (if not more) as always and enjoy the time you have left. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
hugs, nani
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Candycane
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Re: Not such a good day ...
« Reply #5 on: Jun 27th, 2005, 11:58pm » |
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Tony,
You seem to have really loved your pets, and I am sure they will be greatly missed. We feel your pain and hope you will find peace real soon.
Pets are awesome!!! Never get mad at you, always happy to see you when you come home
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cootie
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Re: Not such a good day ...
« Reply #6 on: Jun 28th, 2005, 1:13am » |
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Oh man SO sorry !! I have been there MANY A TIME......it never gets easier it gets harder ! I have 5 house cats and one is quite elderly and haveing alot of problems in this heat......my other one that is my BEST BUD has some issues and lost alot of weight. I have him on antibiotic theropy rite now hopeing that is all he will need to keep going. He'd freak totally out at a vets or goin to one (has some wild cat in him and they do NOT get over bad events).......I have a dog kennel too and have lost a few new pups which is never easy. We have them to loose them Pam
My pets are my EVERYTHING..................
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LeLimey
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Re: Not such a good day ...
« Reply #7 on: Jun 28th, 2005, 4:21am » |
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I'm so sorry Tony, I know how much it hurts losing a pet you love. Make the most of the time you have while she is not suffering and take loads of photo's. One thing that really hurt me when my last cat was killed was that I hardly had any photo's of her. Thats a mistake I won't make again.
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Carl_D
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Re: Not such a good day ...
« Reply #8 on: Jun 28th, 2005, 4:31am » |
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Sorry to hear bro. It sucks to lose a best friend, and especially with a dog - they can be more faithful than some humans. Just remember you got all of us here, and you can vent anytime you need.
Peace,
Carl D
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TonyG1
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Re: Not such a good day ...
« Reply #9 on: Jun 28th, 2005, 6:04am » |
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Thank you all for your kindness!
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giffy76
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Re: Not such a good day ...
« Reply #10 on: Jun 28th, 2005, 9:45am » |
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Sorry to here about this. I went through the whole thing two weeks ago with my Lab, Bo. It's very hard to lose a member of the family especially at a time like this, when everything that can go wrong does. it sucks, but that's why we are all here.
Stay strong, vent when ever you need to.
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nani
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Re: Not such a good day ...
« Reply #11 on: Jun 28th, 2005, 7:12pm » |
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Tony, I got this in my e-mail today. I'm having my kids read it, too. We lost another of our dogs last week. 
Why Pets Do Not Live As Long As People
Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year- old boxer
named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife, Lisa, and their little boy,
Shane, were all very attached to Belker and they were hoping for a
miracle. I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the
family there were no miracles left for Belker, and offered to perform the
euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.
As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be
good for the four-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt Shane
could learn something from the experience.
The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family
surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last
time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few
minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away. The little boy seemed to accept
Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion.
We sat together for a while after Belker's death, wondering aloud about
the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who
had been listening quietly, piped up, "I know why." Startled, we all turned
to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more
comforting explanation.
He said, "Everybody is born so that they can learn how to live a good
life -- like loving everybody and being nice, right?" The four- year-old
continued, "Well, animals already know how to do that, so they don't have
to stay as long."
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TonyG1
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Re: Not such a good day ...
« Reply #12 on: Jun 28th, 2005, 7:24pm » |
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Thanks Nani! If you look at it in those terms it makes sense ...
I was doing so good with smoking ultra-light cigarettes... this morning I bought a pack of Marlboro Reds on the way to work and have smoked the whole pack already today... 
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Candycane
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Re: Not such a good day ...
« Reply #13 on: Jun 28th, 2005, 7:30pm » |
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Personally I would rather eat a dog buisit, smoking is nasty 
Hope you're feeling better 
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Bethany1
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Re: Not such a good day ...
« Reply #14 on: Jun 28th, 2005, 7:30pm » |
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Its ok Tony, do what ya have to.
I'm sorry to hear about your dog, that is just awful.
hugs to you-
Beth
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Kiwiinoz58
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Re: Not such a good day ...
« Reply #15 on: Jun 28th, 2005, 7:36pm » |
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I feel for you.
I still remember what it was like to lose my favourite dog and that was 36 years ago!
Be brave he's done the job he came to do for you.
Jacqs
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gMike
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Re: Not such a good day ...
« Reply #16 on: Jun 28th, 2005, 9:07pm » |
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Sorry to hear that. The only thing about pets is they don't live long enough!!
Go day-to-day and make sure you enjoy every day with your buddy.
All I can say is, give it some time after your lose your friend and then go rescue another dog.
Mike
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Luke63
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Re: Not such a good day ...
« Reply #17 on: Jun 28th, 2005, 9:12pm » |
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Vibes Tony. Luke
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TonyG1
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Re: Not such a good day ...
« Reply #18 on: Jun 28th, 2005, 10:28pm » |
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Thank you all for your kindness! I told Nani earlier that maybe it isn't such a bad thing that I have clusters ... otherwise I would have never found this site and such a gr8 group of ppl from all around the world! Perhaps the silver lining to the demon in my head...
I found a good link < I guess a little sappy for some but it seems appropriate>
http://www.tlcpoodles.com/prayer.html
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sandie99
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Re: Not such a good day ...
« Reply #19 on: Jun 29th, 2005, 3:30am » |
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Tony,
I'm so sorry...
I know that the idea of losing a pet hurts a lot. I don't care what the cynics say, but they, too, are part of the family. I nursed my guinea pig through illness which coul have been fatal and tried my best with the one which killed her.
But losing my guinea pig Olivia in December 1999 hurted a lot. I had lost my father 2 years before that and losing this little creature who had helped me through that difficult time did bring back lots of sad, sad memories.
Olivia died on my lap and the experience of seeing a fellow creature going through her last moments was a humbling experience I cherish.
Looking back, it would have hurted more if I had had to put her into sleep... I would have kept wondering if something more could have been done. Now I know that it wasn't up to me and it was her time to go.
I wish that something could be done for your dog... But while you still have her in your life, enjoy that.
Best wishes,
Sanna/sandie99
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alchemy
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Re: Not such a good day ...
« Reply #20 on: Jun 29th, 2005, 5:39am » |
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sorry to hear about your dog. i know just how you feel.the only dog we have left now is one we rescued from a horrible life of abuse. she was buned had her tongue split and the list goes on and on, she's 11 now and is not in that good of help. we've had her a little over a year now and just love her to death. all we can do is give her the happy life she deserves. i see the end coming and it breaks my heart. my thoughts are with you. take care jim
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Charlie
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Re: Not such a good day ...
« Reply #21 on: Jun 29th, 2005, 2:28pm » |
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Sorry to hear Tony but this is a good place to come. Most us have or have had pets.
The little twerps get under your skin and it's hard knowing they are having a rough time.
Keep us posted.
Charlie
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BMoneeTheMoneeMan
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Re: Not such a good day ...
« Reply #22 on: Jun 29th, 2005, 5:46pm » |
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Sorry to hear that, man. Keep your chin up.
PF wishes
BMonee
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TonyG1
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Re: Not such a good day ...
« Reply #23 on: Jun 30th, 2005, 4:23pm » |
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Well, it is over. My poor dog had such a rough time last night.. I slept on the floor beside her bed and she just could not find any comfort. Needless to say, I didn't sleep much (whats new about that) last night but that is ok. She wanted to go for a walk this morning and I took her but she was too weak to make it very far into the driveway before needing to stop and go back in the house. I took her for our last short walk together, talked with her a lot, and then we took our last ride together to the vets office. I stood by her and held her close while the vet administered the medication and then she was gone. I bought plastic containing as a makeshift coffin and buried her at home (as it should be) with her favorite blanket and her favorite toy (lovingly known as Ms. Bunny) ... Strangely, I sealed it against water leakage as she used to love to play in the snow but absolutely hated rain ...
I'm sad and expect I will be for some time to come; however, in another way, I'm so relieved that her suffering won't get any worse and that she is no longer in pain... kinda strange how those feelings are conflicted. I lost my best friend today but loved her enough to let her go ...
I guess I didn't need to give you all a moment by moment account of my day but you all took the time to respond to my original post and I wanted to let you peek at that moment. I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support and kindness!!!! It made a big difference for me in how I was able to handle the situation and means a gr8 deal!
Thanks!
Tony
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Jeepgun
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Re: Not such a good day ...
« Reply #24 on: Jun 30th, 2005, 4:27pm » |
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I know how heart-wrenching it was for you, Tony. If you're open to the idea, you can meet up with her in dreams, and see how she's doing in her new home and new body. Just state your intent before going to sleep, and then keep an eye on your dreams.
Don't rush yourself through the grieving process. It IS a process and it does take time. It is what it is, and time will make acceptance easier.
Peace, Solace, and Blessings,
-Frank
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