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Topic: Three Texas Cowboys (Read 222 times) |
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Donna_D.
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Three Texas Cowboys
« on: Jun 27th, 2005, 12:54pm » |
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Three Texas cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales begins.
The first says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground, by the horns, with my bare hands."
The second can't stand to be bested. "Why that's nothing. I was walking down the trail yesterday and a fifteen-foot rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit its head off, and sucked the poison down in one gulp. "And I'm still here today."
The third cowboy remained silent, slowly stirring the coals with his pecker.
How many days 'til Dallas?
DD
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Langa
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Re: Three Texas Cowboys
« Reply #1 on: Jun 27th, 2005, 12:55pm » |
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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giffy76
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Re: Three Texas Cowboys
« Reply #2 on: Jun 27th, 2005, 1:05pm » |
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OWWWWW!!!
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Donna_D.
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Re: Three Texas Cowboys
« Reply #3 on: Jun 27th, 2005, 1:09pm » |
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A Texan Goes To Heaven
A Texan died and ascended into Heaven. St. Peter met him and welcomed him saying,
"You will certainly enjoy Paradise."
The Texan shook his head sadly and said "I always thought that TEXAS was
Paradise."
St. Peter said "Well, let me show you what we have to offer." He took the
Texan to an area that had a beautiful river flowing through it with wildlife
and flowers everywhere. "Isn't this beautiful?" said St. Peter.
The Texan replied, "Yes, but not as pretty as the area around SAN ANTONIO."
Somewhat ruffled, St. Peter took him to another area where there were
rolling hills, whitetail deer and bluebonnets and Indian Paintbrush
everywhere. "Now" said St. Peter "Have you ever seen anything so wonderful?"
The Texan paused and said "Yes, it is beautiful but it does not hold a
candle to the TEXAS HILL COUNTRY in the springtime."
Becoming more upset, St. Peter then took the Texan to a beautiful white
beach, with gentle waves, and an azure sky. "Now have you seen
this beautiful in Texas" said St. Peter.
The Texan smiled and said "I guess you've never been to SOUTH PADRE ISLAND".
At this point, St. Peter took the Texan to a large rock. On the side of the
rock was a huge iron door. St. Peter opened the door and they stepped into
an elevator and started going down.
As they descended, it grew more and more hot. When the elevator
opened, it revealed the fires of damnation-Hell. St. Peter said, "Now, have you got
anything in Texas that can top that?"
The Texan thought a moment and shook his head. "No, but I know a couple of
old boys from HOUSTON that can put that thing out for you."
DD
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burnt-toast
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Re: Three Texas Cowboys
« Reply #4 on: Jun 27th, 2005, 1:20pm » |
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Thems Cowpokes is tough critters. I truely wish I could make Dallas to meet some even tougher Cowpokes from this site.
Have a great time Y'all.
Tom
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Would the owner of the propane torch, egg beater, pipe expander and vise grips please claim these items. They're lodged in my head and I need the space.
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Redd
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Re: Three Texas Cowboys
« Reply #5 on: Jun 27th, 2005, 5:19pm » |
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Quote:The third cowboy remained silent, slowly stirring the coals with his pecker.
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Hey Sis...you didn't happen to catch this one's number did ya? 
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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Donna_D.
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Re: Three Texas Cowboys
« Reply #6 on: Jun 27th, 2005, 5:24pm » |
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I saved him just for you, Sis!!
Cowgirl UP!!!!
DD
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Redd
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Re: Three Texas Cowboys
« Reply #7 on: Jun 27th, 2005, 5:31pm » |
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Whoa Doggies.....
You better not be just joshin me Sis...Me Likey!! 
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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Donna_D.
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Re: Three Texas Cowboys
« Reply #8 on: Jun 27th, 2005, 5:36pm » |
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on Jun 27th, 2005, 5:31pm, Redd715 wrote:
You better not be just joshin me Sis...Me Likey!! |
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Now who ever heard of a Texas stretching the truth a little bit ever' now and again?
Did I mention...he's the ugly one of the litter
DD
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| « Last Edit: Jun 27th, 2005, 5:37pm by Donna_D. » |
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Redd
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Re: Three Texas Cowboys
« Reply #9 on: Jun 27th, 2005, 5:37pm » |
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Ummmm
(no comment) 
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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AussieBrian
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Re: Three Texas Cowboys
« Reply #10 on: Jun 27th, 2005, 7:23pm » |
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Does Texas have the world's biggest midgets, or the world's smallest?
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Vulcrania horrendus - twice daily, then two at night in lieu of sleep.
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Carl_D
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on Jun 27th, 2005, 7:23pm, AussieBrian wrote:| Does Texas have the world's biggest midgets, or the world's smallest? |
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I can't say for sure if Texas has the biggest midgets, but I do know the smallest midgets are Micro- Miniature, Cuban born Chinese Circus Midgets are probably the smallest, of their kind, and may also be responsible for causing Cluster Headaches.
Carl D
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don
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Quote:Miniature, Cuban born Chinese Circus Midgets are probably the smallest, of their kind, and may also be responsible for causing Cluster Headaches.
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And they hide in your sock drawer.
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