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Topic: Explanation of Life (Read 161 times) |
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Jimi
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Explanation of Life
« on: Jun 20th, 2005, 11:47am » |
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On the first day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door
> >of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give
> >you
> >a life span of twenty years."
> > > The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years
>and
> >I'll give you back the other ten." So God agreed.
> > >
> > >
> > > On the second day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain
>people,
> >do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty-year life
>span."
> > >
> > >
> > > The monkey said, "How boring. Monkey tricks for twenty years? I
> >don't
> >think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?" And
>God
> >agreed.
> > >
> > >
> > > On the third day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to
>the
> >field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves
> >and
> >give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty
> >years."
> > >
> > >
> > > The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for
> >sixty
> >years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the other forty." And God
> >agreed again.
> > >
> > >
> > > On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play,
>marry
> >and enjoy your life. I'll give you twenty years."
> > >
> > >
> > > Man said, "What? Only twenty years?! Tell you what, I'll take my
> >twenty, and the forty the cow gave back and the ten the monkey gave back
> >and
> >the ten the dog gave back...that makes eighty, okay?"
> > >
> > >
> > > "Okay", said God, "You've got a deal."
> > >
> > >
> >
> > > So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy
> >ourselves; for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our
> >family; for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the
> >grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and
> >bark
> >at everyone.
> > >
> > >
> > > Life has now been explained to you.
>
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I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
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LadyElaine
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That's a good one 
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Jeepgun
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BOHICA!!!
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Re: Explanation of Life
« Reply #2 on: Jun 20th, 2005, 11:57am » |
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"And stay off my lawn, you damn kids!!"  
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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Langa
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So many donuts, such little time...
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Re: Explanation of Life
« Reply #3 on: Jun 20th, 2005, 11:59am » |
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LMAO! Good one Jimi…
Thanks!
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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sandie99
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Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
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Re: Explanation of Life
« Reply #4 on: Jun 20th, 2005, 3:06pm » |
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Good one! Thanks, Jimi! 
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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Charlie
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Re: Explanation of Life
« Reply #5 on: Jun 20th, 2005, 9:11pm » |
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I like this. Good one Jimi
Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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