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Topic: Hallmark Cards you wish you could find (Read 153 times) |
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Jimi
CH.com Alumnus
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Who loves ya baby!
 
 
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Hallmark Cards you wish you could find
« on: Jun 17th, 2005, 8:21pm » |
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THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// ////////////////////////////////////////////////
My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
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Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.
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Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the hell was I thinking?"
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Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
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How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
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I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you ..
I've changed my mind.
-------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
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As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.
####################################################
Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.
************************************************************************ ********
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Tennessee & West Virginia)
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Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!
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When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// //////////////////////////////////////////////
We have been friends for a very long time ..
let's say we stop?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.
=====================================================
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep.
)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))))))))))
So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay.
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
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I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
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Langa
CH.com Alumnus
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So many donuts, such little time...
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Posts: 4179
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Re: Hallmark Cards you wish you could find
« Reply #1 on: Jun 17th, 2005, 9:41pm » |
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These are so messed up they're funny! 
Langa
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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nani
CH.com Alumnus
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Got kudzu?
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Posts: 7953
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Re: Hallmark Cards you wish you could find
« Reply #2 on: Jun 17th, 2005, 9:49pm » |
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ROTFLMAO!!! 
I love these!!! Jimi, as always, yer killin' me! 
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Others may come and go, but MY power is MINE.
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burnt-toast
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Re: Hallmark Cards you wish you could find
« Reply #3 on: Jun 17th, 2005, 10:18pm » |
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Would the owner of the propane torch, egg beater, pipe expander and vise grips please claim these items. They're lodged in my head and I need the space.
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Lizzie2
CH.com Alumnus
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"L'Chaim"~Hebre w Toast~"To Life"
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Posts: 4458
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Re: Hallmark Cards you wish you could find
« Reply #4 on: Jun 17th, 2005, 10:51pm » |
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ROFL!! Oh the things we would say if we could, sometimes!!
Thanks Jimi 
Lizzie
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LeLimey
CH.com Alumnus
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OUCH-US - Less "ME" and more "WE"
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Re: Hallmark Cards you wish you could find
« Reply #5 on: Jun 18th, 2005, 5:03am » |
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Jimi... have you thought about opening an online card company? I'd buy most of these in a heartbeat!!
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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AussieBrian
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Got beer?
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Re: Hallmark Cards you wish you could find
« Reply #6 on: Jun 18th, 2005, 5:27am » |
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Having a great time.
Wish you were her.
........................................................................ ..............
I'd have enclosed $20
But I'd already sealed the envelope.
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You won't recognise the house when you visit.
We've moved.
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Vulcrania horrendus - twice daily, then two at night in lieu of sleep.
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Candycane
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Re: Hallmark Cards you wish you could find
« Reply #7 on: Jun 18th, 2005, 6:39am » |
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Too funny!! really enjoyed after this hellish week
Thanks guy
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sandie99
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Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
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Re: Hallmark Cards you wish you could find
« Reply #8 on: Jun 18th, 2005, 7:34am » |
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Thanks! I'm gonna need one of them this afternoon...
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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