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sandie99
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Stupid questions
« on: Jun 15th, 2005, 2:22pm » |
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A friend send these to me this morning. Now it's your time to think about them... 
Why...
people talk about 'getting engaged' beforehand instead of just doing it there and then in the first place? 
Why...
people bother to cheat their partners instead of admitting honestly that they don't feel the love anymore/are bored/need some excitement/whatever?
Is it just me who'd rather be brutally honest than cheat?
Why...
in a house with 4 women living in it, the regular male quest always leaves the toilet seat up?!
Is it just a stupid habit or carelessness from his part or just a case of 'oops, I forgot'?
Why...
people give you a compliment after they have insulted you? Or turn their compliments into insults just like that?
Why...
so many people claim that they don't read their horoscopes although many of them do?
Why...
one fool can ask more questions than a bunch of wise people have time to answer...
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Jonny
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Re: Stupid questions
« Reply #1 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 5:43pm » |
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on Jun 15th, 2005, 2:22pm, sandie99 wrote:Why...
in a house with 4 women living in it, the regular male quest always leaves the toilet seat up?!
Is it just a stupid habit or carelessness from his part or just a case of 'oops, I forgot'? |
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WHY.....Dont one of you women lift the seat if you know he is coming to visit?
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
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LeLimey
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Re: Stupid questions
« Reply #2 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 5:44pm » |
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Or better yet.. firebomb the karzee with HIM in it!! 
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Langa
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Re: Stupid questions
« Reply #3 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 5:45pm » |
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on Jun 15th, 2005, 5:44pm, LeLimey wrote:| Or better yet.. firebomb the karzee with HIM in it!! |
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Ghost
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Re: Stupid questions
« Reply #4 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 5:46pm » |
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Novel idea: look before you sit. We don't btch when the seat isnt left up for us.
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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LeLimey
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Re: Stupid questions
« Reply #5 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 5:48pm » |
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on Jun 15th, 2005, 5:46pm, ghost62 wrote:| Novel idea: look before you sit. We don't btch when the seat isnt left up for us. |
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We've noticed!! 
Why exactly did you think we call you swampy?!
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Langa
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Re: Stupid questions
« Reply #6 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 5:50pm » |
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on Jun 15th, 2005, 5:46pm, ghost62 wrote:| Novel idea: look before you sit. We don't btch when the seat isnt left up for us. |
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I must interject here fellas...the toilet seat was created to COVER, I repeat, COVER, the toilet bowl....it serves no other purpose. You guys need it up because of bad aim and dribble... 
We don't complain about your bad aim and dribble, all we ask is that you politely put the cover back down, so we don't go to sit down and instead end up with a seriously wet ass...
Splish Splash my Ass was Taking a Bath Langa
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Jonny
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Re: Stupid questions
« Reply #7 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 5:54pm » |
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Either way you end up with a wet ass...WTF do we care? LMMF(DRY)AO
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
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burnt-toast
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Re: Stupid questions
« Reply #8 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 7:16pm » |
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This hasn't been proven yet but......
Archeologists are uncovering evidence that points to this very issue as the primary reason for the fall of the Roman Empire. Saw it on the Discovery Channel.
Tom
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Would the owner of the propane torch, egg beater, pipe expander and vise grips please claim these items. They're lodged in my head and I need the space.
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sandie99
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Re: Stupid questions
« Reply #9 on: Jun 16th, 2005, 3:02am » |
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on Jun 15th, 2005, 5:44pm, LeLimey wrote:| Or better yet.. firebomb the karzee with HIM in it!! |
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Good one!
May I point out: in a house in which 4 women LIVE the man who just visits, doesn't respect the place and it's rightful inhabitants enough to put that toilet seat down...
It always makes me angry to see/meet/hear about people who doesn't think about others. IF I'd visit a house full of male inhabitants, I'd respect them enough to put the seat back up after I'm done.
Respect, family. Just respect.
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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LeLimey
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Re: Stupid questions
« Reply #10 on: Jun 16th, 2005, 4:07am » |
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superglue the seat down!
or cling film the toilet when you know he is coming round.. the splashback might teach him a lesson!
Or lock the door, give him a milk bottle and tell him to take a walk!
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BobG
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Re: Stupid questions
« Reply #11 on: Jun 16th, 2005, 6:17am » |
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on Jun 16th, 2005, 3:02am, sandie99 wrote:
IF I'd visit a house full of male inhabitants, I'd respect them enough to put the seat back up after I'm done.
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I think in a house full on male inhabitants you wouldn't even go near the bathroom let alone put your fanny close to their toilet.
Quote:Why...
people give you a compliment after they have insulted you? |
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Like "You don't sweat much, for a fat chick."
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E-Double
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Re: Stupid questions
« Reply #12 on: Jun 16th, 2005, 6:32am » |
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on Jun 15th, 2005, 2:22pm, sandie99 wrote:A friend send these to me this morning. Now it's your time to think about them...
Why...
in a house with 4 women living in it, the regular male quest always leaves the toilet seat up?!
Is it just a stupid habit or carelessness from his part or just a case of 'oops, I forgot'? |
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I don't understand why you are complaining.....be happy he is not pissing in your sink! Now that I think about it.....the sink is at a much more convenient height....I'll pass the word to Finnish men
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LeLimey
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Re: Stupid questions
« Reply #13 on: Jun 16th, 2005, 7:58am » |
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on Jun 16th, 2005, 6:32am, E-Double wrote:
I don't understand why you are complaining.....be happy he is not pissing in your sink! Now that I think about it.....the sink is at a much more convenient height....I'll pass the word to Finnish men
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Don't worry Sandie.. I'll thump Eric for you in Dallas!!
edited cos of abysmal spelling!
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| « Last Edit: Jun 16th, 2005, 7:59am by LeLimey » |
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E-Double
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Re: Stupid questions
« Reply #14 on: Jun 16th, 2005, 8:13am » |
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on Jun 16th, 2005, 7:58am, LeLimey wrote:
Don't worry Sandie.. I'll thump Eric for you in Dallas!!
edited cos of abysmal spelling! |
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Mental note........Have in depth conversation with Helen's hubby regarding appropriate and convenient pissing procedures to be carried out in the UK.
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I can't believe that I have to bang my
Head against this wall again
But the blows they have just a little more
Space in-between them
Gonna take a breath and try again.
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Langa
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Re: Stupid questions
« Reply #15 on: Jun 16th, 2005, 8:25am » |
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on Jun 16th, 2005, 8:13am, E-Double wrote:
Mental note........Have in depth conversation with Helen's hubby regarding appropriate and convenient pissing procedures to be carried out in the UK. |
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Oooooh, you're in trouble now E2!
Langa
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E-Double
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Re: Stupid questions
« Reply #16 on: Jun 16th, 2005, 8:29am » |
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on Jun 16th, 2005, 8:25am, Langa wrote:
Oooooh, you're in trouble now E2!
Langa |
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I can't believe that I have to bang my
Head against this wall again
But the blows they have just a little more
Space in-between them
Gonna take a breath and try again.
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Ghost
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Re: Stupid questions
« Reply #17 on: Jun 16th, 2005, 8:29am » |
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on Jun 16th, 2005, 8:13am, E-Double wrote:
Mental note........Have in depth conversation with Helen's hubby regarding appropriate and convenient pissing procedures to be carried out in the UK. |
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Thats easy pi$$ up .... and leave both seats down ...  then if that dont work use the sink.    but above all else dont LEAVE THE SEAT UP!!!!!!   or, how about, well lets see, if you lay on the floor with the seat down and aim between the opening of the seats .... yea that could work. 
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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Langa
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Re: Stupid questions
« Reply #18 on: Jun 16th, 2005, 8:40am » |
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Wait, wait I got it!!!
I have a brilliant idea for you fellas!!
Ready? It's a doosie, but I think you guys can handle it!
LIFT COVER, PEE, COVER DOWN...
You can do it!!!!
Everything is possible if you have a little faith!
I have faith in you my brothas!
Langa
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Ghost
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Re: Stupid questions
« Reply #19 on: Jun 16th, 2005, 8:44am » |
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on Jun 16th, 2005, 8:40am, Langa wrote:Wait, wait I got it!!!
I have a brilliant idea for you fellas!!
Ready? It's a doosie, but I think you guys can handle it!
LIFT COVER, PEE, COVER DOWN...
You can do it!!!!
Everything is possible if you have a little faith!
I have faith in you my brothas!
Langa |
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Now you know we dont ever do simple
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Illigitimus Non Tatum Carborundum
If all men are endowed by their creator, why was mine so short sighted?
***WARNING*** Oxygen will rust your pipes!
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Jeepgun
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Re: Stupid questions
« Reply #20 on: Jun 16th, 2005, 9:11am » |
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Women always bitch about the toilet seat. Look: It takes no effort to simply LOOK at the toilet before you sit down on it! I don't understand women hollering about getting a wet ass. What are you, BLIND? If the seat is up, simply put it down. In fact, rumor has it that gravity will even do MOST of the work for you! To summarize:
1. Open eyes.
2. LOOK before you squat.
3. If the seat is in the "Up" position, tilt it forward and let gravity take over.
4. Have a seat.
I realize that this may be beyond the ken of most women, but if you really really exert yourselves and apply these simple steps that I've carefully outlined in this highly informative instruction manual, then YOU can avoid doing something as fucking stupid as falling into the toilet and then blaming that stupidity on someone else.
You're welcome.
*Perky smile*
(fleeing for the hills)
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| « Last Edit: Jun 16th, 2005, 9:13am by Jeepgun » |
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Langa
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Re: Stupid questions
« Reply #21 on: Jun 16th, 2005, 9:18am » |
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Again, the toilet seat was created to COVER the toilet seat - it serves no other purpose. If men just have to have it up, then they should put it down...(did that sound right?)...
You can also sit on the toilet, bring your little guy between your legs and pee that way – isn’t that more comfy for you anyway?. It’s about courtesy fellas!
I rest my case. 
Langa
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LeLimey
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Re: Stupid questions
« Reply #22 on: Jun 16th, 2005, 9:25am » |
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on Jun 16th, 2005, 9:18am, Langa wrote:| You can also sit on the toilet, bring your little guy between your legs and pee that way – isn’t that more comfy for you anyway?. |
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THAT is Franks problem Langa, you can't point and squirt if you have nothing to point!
on Jun 16th, 2005, 8:13am, E-Double wrote:
Mental note........Have in depth conversation with Helen's hubby regarding appropriate and convenient pissing procedures to be carried out in the UK. |
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Ha!! You'll be lucky! He tells everyone he married me so he knew where I was.. you know, like when you see a HUGE spider on the floor. Its okay when you can see it but if it ducks out of sight you get scared??? Thats his theory!
on Jun 16th, 2005, 8:44am, ghost62 wrote:
Now you know we dont ever do simple
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Nope women do simple.. look what we marry!!
Seriously though. I HAVE solved the problem of David not taking aim. I've pasted a pic of Michael Shumacher to the bottom of the toilet. He could pee through a polo to get that sucker!! Although we are looking for a picture of Jaspers EX neuro as that will allow for greater accuracy although there is a high risk of firebombing the bog which sort of defeats the object!!
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Jeepgun
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Re: Stupid questions
« Reply #23 on: Jun 16th, 2005, 9:32am » |
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on Jun 16th, 2005, 9:25am, LeLimey wrote:| THAT is Franks problem Langa, you can't point and squirt if you have nothing to point! |
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That's not true. My name is NOT "Bobbitt." LOL
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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ExplodingEyeBall
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Re: Stupid questions
« Reply #24 on: Jun 16th, 2005, 9:32am » |
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on Jun 16th, 2005, 9:18am, Langa wrote:
You can also sit on the toilet, bring your little guy between your legs and pee that way
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It sure makes it easier to read the newspaper that way. Plus, when you are sitting you always have the opportunity to..... Oh, forget it. I was moving into grossness.
I have to agree with Frank though too. I'd think that it should be a given that anyone who is getting ready to put their bare a$$ on a seat would look first to make sure about what they are getting ready to sit on.
And: For all of you who believe the horoscopes, Here's your horoscope for the day.
Today, you will be known as a giver of gifts. Expensive gifts should be given to people who have really creative nicknames like ExplodingEyeBall, and.... well...I can't think of any others.
Have a nice day.
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Just poke out my eye and get it over with!!!
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