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Topic: He's a good dog. (Read 418 times) |
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giffy76
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He's a good dog.
« on: Jun 15th, 2005, 7:20am » |
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My best friend Bo, my lab, will be put down tonight. I don't know how to tell my kids (ages 11 & 6) my wife is going to take them to a friends for the evening because she can't watch the vet do the deed and we don't think it's a good idea for the kids to see it.
He has Cancer and until last month he was doing fine, now he's lost about 40lbs. and won't do anything but lay around. Luke, our other lab tries to play with him but Bo just growls at him.
What do I tell the kids?
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giffy76
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Re: He's a good dog.
« Reply #2 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 7:32am » |
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Thanks, Don. That's a great poem.
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Langa
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Re: He's a good dog.
« Reply #3 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 7:42am » |
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Sorry about your dog... 
I wish there was an easy way to tell the kids...Nani recently lost one of her sheperds...I don't remember how she told the kids, but she might have some words of wisdom for ya.
I've only had one dog in my life...my doxie who is only 2 1/2 yo. I wouldn't even begin to know how to handle it, but above all I would never want to see her in pain.
Langa
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burnt-toast
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Re: He's a good dog.
« Reply #4 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 8:06am » |
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If you go in (I just had to) cradle Bo's head in your arms because the process is very fast. I blubered like a baby.  . Be honest with the children it made getting another dog easier when when my children were young.
We were fortunate with our last dog Buster, a Border Collie who we could allow to die at home. My children were old enough to understand and we all hugged and comforted him as he slipped away. It is really like loosing a family member and tears flow freely.
We have land and buried Buster in the corner of a field he would always go to and watch the house from a shady spot.
Tom
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Missy_Donna
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Re: He's a good dog.
« Reply #5 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 8:10am » |
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giffy, I am so sorry. This is one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do. My vet told me that our pets don't express themselves when they are in pain. That's why he gave me pain meds for Polly when she had a simple spay job done.
It is the most loving of acts when we do let them go and help them find peace. You know without a doubt that this is the kindest, most unselfish, painful thing that you can do for Bo, but for his sake, it has to be done.
Tell the kids just the way it is. Bo got old and sick and was hurting and would hurt more and more and never get better. Then go to the site that don suggested. I saw it for the first time today, and believe me when I say tears are running down my face.
Love and prayers,
DonnaH
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rickyshot
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Re: He's a good dog.
« Reply #6 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 8:26am » |
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I am so sorry. I had a dog who lived 14 years and had to be put down. I was pregnant with my first child and very emotional and took it so hard. But death is a part of life and pets gives us the lessons of not only responsibility and love but also saying goodbye. I am one who does not believe in hiding death from children. It is a part of life. It is how you handle it and let them go through the mourning process.
Don you old suck.....
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The mad viking
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Re: He's a good dog.
« Reply #7 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 8:30am » |
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Im so sorry,and in tears bc i know what you are going trough.
Its 3 years now since we had to do the same with our Cat "Ronja"
And that poem and memories still get to me.
I agree with you about your kids BUT all i ask you is give your kids a chanse to say good bye BEFORE the vet are there.Thats importent
Svenn
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Always Look on The Bright Side of Life
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giffy76
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Re: He's a good dog.
« Reply #8 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 8:36am » |
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The vet is coming to the house, Bo hates going to clinic so for less stress on him we're having a house call.
He would lay at the edge of our ravine for hours.(his favorite spot) so it's only fitting that he lay there from now on.
Thank you all for your support.
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Missy_Donna
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Re: He's a good dog.
« Reply #9 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 8:39am » |
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I was just thinking the same thing, Svenn.
The older one especially might resent not having the chance to say goodbye, or even being there to see Bo off. I think I would at least give the ll year old a choice. 6 is a little too young yet to deal with being witness if it isn't necessary.
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LadyElaine
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I know the pain to well. Its the best thing for your friend.
JD my grandson doesn't understand death. He misses his dog Taco . He misses his grandfather. I read a story on the internet to him about pennies from heaven. When you find a penny its from heaven from a angel that misses you. He always looks for pennies, when he finds one he is so happy. We made a jar called pennies from Heaven when he misses them he looks at all the pennies he was sent.
It will be hard for you and them. You just have to know its the best thing for your friend. He/she would tell you so if they could.
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aprilbee
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Re: He's a good dog.
« Reply #11 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 8:58am » |
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OMG....I'm bawling...I am sooooooooo awfully sorry... when my boxer, Jed, that I grew up with, died, my dad didn't tell me, it crushed me that I didn't get to say goodbye, of course I was much older. I can't imagine what you're going through, I'd never have the strength... good luck. I hope he goes peacefully and you cherish his memory forever... 
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Jimmy_B.
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Re: He's a good dog.
« Reply #12 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 9:02am » |
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Awww man....it's really tough to put a pet down. They give you nothing but unconditional love and when the time comes...there's nothing harder.
But just like everybody said...it's for the best. The one mistake I made with my last dog was not being there when he was put down.
Jimmy
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Jeepgun
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Re: He's a good dog.
« Reply #13 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 9:04am » |
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I'm so sorry for your loss. My opinion is, let your kids know what's going on, let them help bury him, and let them get to know death up close and personal. As heart-wrenching as it is to lose a pet, death is as much a part of life as birth is. These bodies are vessels in the way that shoes are vessels for our feet. When the shoes get old and wear out, we buy new ones. Bo's vessel is tired and worn out. It seems like there's never a good time to say goodbye, but regardless, that time always comes. And anyway, your children will be able to visit with him in dreams. 
My condolences to your family, and my best wishes for a smooth, lucid, and comfortable transition for Bo.
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aprilbee
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Re: He's a good dog.
« Reply #14 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 10:04am » |
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on Jun 15th, 2005, 9:04am, Frank_W wrote:I'm so sorry for your loss. My opinion is, let your kids know what's going on, let them help bury him, and let them get to know death up close and personal. As heart-wrenching as it is to lose a pet, death is as much a part of life as birth is. These bodies are vessels in the way that shoes are vessels for our feet. When the shoes get old and wear out, we buy new ones. Bo's vessel is tired and worn out. It seems like there's never a good time to say goodbye, but regardless, that time always comes. And anyway, your children will be able to visit with him in dreams.
My condolences to your family, and my best wishes for a smooth, lucid, and comfortable transition for Bo. |
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Very well said Frank....
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seasonalboomer
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Re: He's a good dog.
« Reply #15 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 10:18am » |
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on Jun 15th, 2005, 7:28am, don wrote:
I had a friend send me here when I had to put down our 12 year old German Shepherd last May. It was absolutely great and I cried a lot. The crying was good, especially when you see how people memorialize their dogs on this site. I think you miss an opportunity for your kids to feel a loss and go through the process -- have them write a memorial on ranbows bridge -- what a great tribute and a way for them to work their way through it.
My thoughts are with you -- I still have an old dog left and will be crushed when she goes.
Scott
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pattik
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Re: He's a good dog.
« Reply #16 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 10:20am » |
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I will be facing this soon with my sweet old lab, Tasha (she's 14 and has had cancer). Good advice has already been given here, so I'll just say that I'm so sorry for the loss you are about to go through, and my thoughts are with you and your family.
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nani
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Re: He's a good dog.
« Reply #17 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 10:36am » |
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I'm so sorry, giffy. It's very hard, but I also suggest you be there with him when it's time. You won't regret him knowing you were with him until the end. My kids watched their dog deteiorating and we'd discussed it prior to that day. They agreed that holding on to her while she suffered was selfish, and not in her best interest. While they were at school and I was waiting for the vet to come out, she died while I sat next to her and stroked her. We had a lovely memorial service for her and Mooshie (my 9 year old) still has a beautiful memorial set up with pictures and toys in my living room. I'm ready to have it come down (it's been since Feb) but she isn't. I'll let her take all the time she needs to grieve. She just got a puppy last month, but still isn't ready to let go of her Shiva. 
hugs and vibes to all of you, nani
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Margi
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Re: He's a good dog.
« Reply #18 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 11:02am » |
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Giffy, our condolences, too. It's so hard to lose a pet, it's just SO not fair that their lives are so short! They become our eternal children and they will stay in your heart forever. There just aren't words to ease your pain.
You do need to grieve though, and so do your kids. Allow that grief to wash over you and let the tears flow. Frank's given you some awesome advice here - kids can handle more than we think they can sometimes. Let them see your grief and encourage theirs. Talk about it when they want to and be quiet when they don't.
Love on Luke a little bit more, too - don't lose sight of the fact that he just doesn't understand what happened to his buddy. He's going to feel pretty lost for the next little while, especially seeing his family so sad.
It does get easier with time, Giffy - we lost our 8 year old Rottie to lupus 9 years ago (today, actually, June 15) but there are still times when we miss our girl, Chelsea.
Our Chesapeake, Barly, is now 9 years old and we got him the day we put Chelsea down. He and spent those first few days crying together, him missing his brothers, me missing my girl. We healed together though and he was very comforting for us all through our grief.
Peace is with Bo now - you've set him free from his pain, Giffy. You'll see him again. He's waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge.
Hugs,
Margi
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| « Last Edit: Jun 15th, 2005, 11:03am by Margi » |
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giffy76
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Re: He's a good dog.
« Reply #19 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 11:50am » |
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Thank you all again. You guys are the best.
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TomM
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Re: He's a good dog.
« Reply #20 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 12:20pm » |
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The absolute hardest thing I ever did was put down my cat last summer. http://mysite.verizon.net/vze6mqbc/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpicture s/.pond/haikusmpaint.jpg.w560h380.jpg
Rainbow Bridge and time helped. I still cry about him. Just know you are doing the right thing. He's uncomfortable and in pain. Yup, Rainbow Bridge should help you and the kids. 
"The time has come for Bo to go. He has done his job in training you and you have passed."
Good luck and god speed.
TomM
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| « Last Edit: Jun 15th, 2005, 12:24pm by TomM » |
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purpleydog
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Re: He's a good dog.
« Reply #21 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 12:27pm » |
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I have two dogs, 11 years old. I will be there for them when the time comes, and they will be stronger than me.
I'm sorry giffy. Not an easy thing to do.
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sandie99
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Re: He's a good dog.
« Reply #22 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 12:35pm » |
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Giffy, I am so, so sorry...
I haven't lost a dog in my life (we never had one), but I did lose my guinea pig Olivia.
She went through a lot during her short life, cancer and losing one eye, two operations which each could have been fatal... on both occasions the vet told me to 'prepare myself'.
I refused to think that she would die and she survived. Finally she died on my lap on December 30th, 1999.
That was the best way, I'm sure of it. I was 19 and had already lost all granparents and my father, so I did know thing and two about death already.
I wish I would have seen that Rainbow poem or equivalent back in 1989, when my granmother passed away...
Sanna/sandie99
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Jeepgun
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Re: He's a good dog.
« Reply #23 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 1:26pm » |
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The following was read at my grandfather's memorial service. I feel it's just as true for pets.
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!
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LeLimey
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Re: He's a good dog.
« Reply #24 on: Jun 15th, 2005, 2:10pm » |
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Oh Giffy, I'm more sorry than I can say. I know what its like to lose an animal you love and nothing I can say will ease it for you or your family.
It IS better to be honest with your children, they deserve to know the truth and as others have said it will make it easier to grieve than if there is resentment to get over too.
You've had a very loving response from this wonderful family over this. We are still here for you if you need to vent or grieve with us again okay?
lots and lots of love
Helen
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