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Topic: Kinder, gentler era (Read 1027 times) |
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notseinfeld
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Kinder, gentler era
« on: Jun 13th, 2005, 1:44pm » |
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Hey Patty Ireland, this one's for you:
The following is an actual excerpt from a 1950 high school home-economics textbook:
Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself: Take fifteen minutes to rest so that you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.
Clean away the clutter: Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too.
Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
Minimize all noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.
Some don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest that he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take his shoes.
Speak in a low, soft, soothing voice. Allow him to relax and unwind. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.
Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other pleasant entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to unwind and relax.
The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax in body and spirit.
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-----------Democracy is three wolves and a sheep voting on what's for dinner. ---------------------
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sandie99
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Re: Kinder, gentler era
« Reply #1 on: Jun 13th, 2005, 1:46pm » |
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Do you mind if I email this to my friend? The one with a broken heart is nicely in hostile feminism stage! 
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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notseinfeld
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Re: Kinder, gentler era
« Reply #2 on: Jun 13th, 2005, 1:59pm » |
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Sandy, send her a new knife set!
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-----------Democracy is three wolves and a sheep voting on what's for dinner. ---------------------
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sandie99
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Re: Kinder, gentler era
« Reply #3 on: Jun 13th, 2005, 2:04pm » |
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on Jun 13th, 2005, 1:59pm, notseinfeld wrote:Sandy, send her a new knife set!
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Yep, that looks like something she'd like right now!
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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burnt-toast
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Re: Kinder, gentler era
« Reply #4 on: Jun 13th, 2005, 2:11pm » |
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 So what has everyone got against marrying the maid? Domestics deserve a better life too don't they?
Tom
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vig
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Re: Kinder, gentler era
« Reply #5 on: Jun 13th, 2005, 2:12pm » |
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aaah, a return to the olden days...
yes, let's bury the computers and the cars...
Life was so much easier without air conditioning, refrigeration, and air travel.
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never, Never, NEVER quit. -Winston Churchill
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Langa
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Re: Kinder, gentler era
« Reply #6 on: Jun 13th, 2005, 2:12pm » |
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Quote:| Speak in a low, soft, soothing voice. Allow him to relax and unwind. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first. |
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I need to send this to my sisters...they'll have a great laugh!
Thanks.
Langa
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thomas
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Re: Kinder, gentler era
« Reply #7 on: Jun 13th, 2005, 2:13pm » |
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on Jun 13th, 2005, 1:44pm, notseinfeld wrote:Hey Patty Ireland, this one's for you:
The following is an actual excerpt from a 1950 high school home-economics textbook:
Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself: Take fifteen minutes to rest so that you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.
Clean away the clutter: Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too.
Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
Minimize all noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.
Some don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest that he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take his shoes.
Speak in a low, soft, soothing voice. Allow him to relax and unwind. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.
Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other pleasant entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to unwind and relax.
The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax in body and spirit.
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All women should put this into practice and repeat as necessary.
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Religion and sex are powerplays. Manipulate the people for the money they pay. Selling skin, selling God, the numbers look the same on their credit cards. Triptans cause rebounds. Learn it, believe it, live it. I use triptans as the absolute LAST RESORT when treating my CH.
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Langa
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Re: Kinder, gentler era
« Reply #8 on: Jun 13th, 2005, 2:15pm » |
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I swear I can't stop laughing!!!
Langa
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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sandie99
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Re: Kinder, gentler era
« Reply #9 on: Jun 13th, 2005, 2:21pm » |
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on Jun 13th, 2005, 2:15pm, Langa wrote:
I swear I can't stop laughing!!!
Langa |
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Me neither!
We should write one for the guys....! It's only fair.
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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seasonalboomer
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Re: Kinder, gentler era
« Reply #10 on: Jun 13th, 2005, 2:21pm » |
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So now the updated version would include references about being welcome to threesomes, the benefits of frequent oral, and internet porn.
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sandie99
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Re: Kinder, gentler era
« Reply #11 on: Jun 13th, 2005, 2:24pm » |
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on Jun 13th, 2005, 2:21pm, seasonalboomer wrote:| So now the updated version would include references about being welcome to threesomes, the benefits of frequent oral, and internet porn. |
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Oh, I wouldn't mind the interet porn part. There's just one thing about it: he would be jealous to one of those guys I'd be watching.... 
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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Langa
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Re: Kinder, gentler era
« Reply #12 on: Jun 13th, 2005, 2:25pm » |
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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Redd
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Re: Kinder, gentler era
« Reply #13 on: Jun 13th, 2005, 2:26pm » |
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on Jun 13th, 2005, 2:13pm, thomas wrote:
All women should put this into practice and repeat as necessary. |
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Thomas you are a gutton for punishment aren't you? 
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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sandie99
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Re: Kinder, gentler era
« Reply #14 on: Jun 13th, 2005, 2:29pm » |
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on Jun 13th, 2005, 2:25pm, Langa wrote:
Well said.
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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Langa
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So many donuts, such little time...
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Re: Kinder, gentler era
« Reply #15 on: Jun 13th, 2005, 2:35pm » |
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Quote:| Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest that he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take his shoes. |
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BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
I'm about to pee my pants!!! 
Langa
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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sandie99
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Re: Kinder, gentler era
« Reply #16 on: Jun 13th, 2005, 2:38pm » |
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Recall guys, there's a modern feminist inside many traditional-looking women!
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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Pinkfloyd
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Re: Kinder, gentler era
« Reply #17 on: Jun 13th, 2005, 2:41pm » |
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on Jun 13th, 2005, 2:12pm, vig wrote:aaah, a return to the olden days...
yes, let's bury the computers and the cars...
Life was so much easier without air conditioning, refrigeration, and air travel.
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Just don't set that Wayback machine to go too far back viggy...please.
The following is a reprint from The Madison Institute Newsletter, Fall
Issue, 1894:
INSTRUCTION AND ADVICE FOR THE YOUNG BRIDE
on the Conduct and Procedure of the Intimate
and Personal Relationships of the Marriage State
for the Greater Spiritual Sanctity of this Blessed Sacrament
and the Glory of God
by Ruth Smythers
beloved wife of The Reverend L.D. Smythers
Pastor of the Arcadian Methodist Church
of the Eastern Regional Conference
Published in the year of our Lord 1894
Spiritual Guidance Press
New York City
INSTRUCTION AND ADVICE FOR THE YOUNG BRIDE
To the sensitive young woman who has had the benefits of proper
upbringing, the wedding day is, ironically, both the happiest and most
terrifying day of her life. On the positive side, there is the wedding
itself, in which the bride is the central attraction in a beautiful and
inspiring ceremony, symbolizing her triumph in securing a male to
provide for all her needs for the rest of her life. On the negative
side, there is the wedding night, during which the bride must pay the
piper, so to speak, by facing for the first time the terrible experience
of sex.
At this point, dear reader, let me concede one shocking truth. Some
young women actually anticipate the wedding night ordeal with curiosity
and pleasure! Beware such an attitude! A selfish and sensual husband can
easily take advantage of such a bride. One cardinal rule of marriage
should never be forgotten: GIVE LITTLE, GIVE SELDOM, AND ABOVE ALL, GIVE
GRUDGINGLY. Otherwise what could have been a proper marriage could
become an orgy of sexual lust.
On the other hand, the bride's terror need not be extreme. While sex is
at best revolting and at worse rather painful, it has to be endured, and
has been by women since the beginning of time, and is compensated for by
the monogamous home and by the children produced through it.
It is useless, in most cases, for the bride to prevail upon the groom
to forego the sexual initiation. While the ideal husband would be one
who would approach his bride only at her request and only for the
purpose of begetting offspring, such nobility and unselfishness cannot
be expected from the average man.
Most men, if not denied, would demand sex almost every day. The wise
bride will permit a maximum of two brief sexual experiences weekly
during the first months of marriage. As time goes by she should make
every effort to reduce this frequency.
Feigned illness, sleepiness, and headaches are among the wife's best
friends in this matter. Arguments, nagging, scolding, and bickering also
prove very effective, if used in the late evening about an hour before
the husband would normally commence his seduction.
Clever wives are ever on the alert for new and better methods of
denying and discouraging the amorous overtures of the husband. A good
wife should expect to have reduced sexual contacts to once a week by the
end of the first year of marriage and to once a month by the end of the
fifth year of marriage.
By their tenth anniversary many wives have managed to complete their
child bearing and have achieved the ultimate goal of terminating all
sexual contacts with the husband. By this time she can depend upon his
love for the children and social pressures to hold the husband in the
home.
Just as she should be ever alert to keep the quantity of sex as low as
possible, the wise bride will pay equal attention to limiting the kind
and degree of sexual contacts. Most men are by nature rather perverted,
and if given half a chance, would engage in quite a variety of the most
revolting practices. These practices include among others performing the
normal act in abnormal positions; mouthing the female body; and offering
their own vile bodies to be mouthed in turn.
Nudity, talking about sex, reading stories about sex, viewing
photographs and drawings depicting or suggesting sex are the obnoxious
habits the male is likely to acquire if permitted.
A wise bride will make it the goal never to allow her husband to see
her unclothed body, and never allow him to display his unclothed body to
her. Sex, when it cannot be prevented, should be practiced only in total
darkness. Many women have found it useful to have thick cotton
nightgowns for themselves and pajamas for their husbands. These should
be donned in separate rooms. They need not be removed during the sex
act. Thus, a minimum of flesh is exposed.
continued......
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Pinkfloyd
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Re: Kinder, gentler era
« Reply #18 on: Jun 13th, 2005, 2:43pm » |
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continued...
Once the bride has donned her gown and turned off all the lights, she should lie quietly upon the bed and await her groom. When he comes groping into the room she should make no sound to guide him in her
direction, lest he take this as a sign of encouragement. She should let him grope in the dark. There is always the hope that he will stumble and incur some slight injury which she can use as an excuse to deny him
sexual access.
When he finds her, the wife should lie as still as possible. Bodily motion on her part could be interpreted as sexual excitement by the optimistic husband. If he attempts to kiss her on the lips she should turn
her head slightly so that the kiss falls harmlessly on her cheek instead. If he attempts to kiss her hand, she should make a fist. If he lifts her gown
and attempts to kiss her anyplace else she should quickly pull the gown back in place, spring from the bed, and announce that nature calls her
to the toilet. This will generally dampen his desire to kiss in the forbidden territory.
If the husband attempts to seduce her with lascivious talk, the wise wife will suddenly remember some trivial non-sexual question to ask him.
Once he answers she should keep the conversation going, no matter how frivolous it may seem at the time.
Eventually, the husband will learn that if he insists on having sexual contact, he must get on with it without amorous embellishment. The wise wife will allow him to pull the gown up no farther than the waist, and
only permit him to open the front of his pajamas to thus make connection.
She will be absolutely silent or babble about her housework while his huffing and puffing away. Above all, she will lie perfectly still and never under any circumstances grunt or groan while the act is in
progress. As soon as the husband has completed the act, the wise wife will start nagging him about various minor tasks she wishes him to perform on the morrow. Many men obtain a major portion of their sexual
satisfaction from the peaceful exhaustion immediately after the act is over. Thus the wife must insure that there is no peace in this period for him to enjoy. Otherwise, he might be encouraged to soon try for
more.
One heartening factor for which the wife can be grateful is the fact that the husband's home, school, church, and social environment have been working together all through his life to instill in him a deep
sense of guilt in regards to his sexual feelings, so that he comes to the marriage couch apologetically and filled with shame, already half cowed and subdued. The wise wife seizes upon this advantage and
relentlessly pursues her goal first to limit, later to annihilate completely her husband's desire for sexual expression.
© 1894 The Madison Institute.
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"Nothing is so firmly believed as what we least know."
"There is no passion so contagious as that of fear."
[Michel de Montaigne
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www.obscuredview.blogspot.com
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Margi
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Re: Kinder, gentler era
« Reply #19 on: Jun 13th, 2005, 2:43pm » |
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on Jun 13th, 2005, 2:13pm, thomas wrote:
All women should put this into practice and repeat as necessary. |
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oooh, you'll pay for that one.
HOW many more sleeps until your wedding? I'd sleep with one eye open if I were you, bud.
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sandie99
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Re: Kinder, gentler era
« Reply #20 on: Jun 13th, 2005, 2:54pm » |
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on Jun 13th, 2005, 2:43pm, Margi wrote:
oooh, you'll pay for that one.
HOW many more sleeps until your wedding? I'd sleep with one eye open if I were you, bud.
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Now there's some good advice!
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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sandie99
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Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
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Re: Kinder, gentler era
« Reply #21 on: Jun 13th, 2005, 2:57pm » |
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I emailed those posts to my mum. She just called me, laughing. She asked me to remind the fellows that there's advices to the guys, too:
"A Good Husband Should Always"
Never stay out later than 8pm unless your wife is with you.
Always bring breakfast to your wife - in bed.
Always tell her how fantastic she is, every day.
Always bring her your whole pay check - unopened!
There are more of them, but luckily for you guys she didn't recall more of them.
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IP Logged |
CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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Langa
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So many donuts, such little time...
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Re: Kinder, gentler era
« Reply #22 on: Jun 13th, 2005, 3:25pm » |
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I just emailed this list to a bunch of friends and my sisters…
If you’re quiet…shhhh…you can hear the laughter still going…
The concensus: 
Whew! That was the best laugh I’ve had in months!
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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sandie99
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Re: Kinder, gentler era
« Reply #23 on: Jun 13th, 2005, 3:32pm » |
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Even my old-fashioned grandmother used to say: men think they are the head of the family. If they are they are the head, women are the neck. And as you know, the neck can turn the head any way she wants!
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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Langa
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
So many donuts, such little time...
Gender:
Posts: 4179
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Re: Kinder, gentler era
« Reply #24 on: Jun 13th, 2005, 4:19pm » |
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Bob, that is one crazy and sick newsletter! I was laughing the whole time I read it...wtf??
Quote:Most men are by nature rather perverted,
and if given half a chance, would engage in quite a variety of the most revolting practices. These practices include among others performing the normal act in abnormal positions; mouthing the female body; and offering their own vile bodies to be mouthed in turn. |
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Yeah, Okay...
Langa
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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