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Topic: Laundering money.... (Read 246 times) |
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Dave0377
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Literally!! I washed my wallet tonight.....gentle/cold cycle with like colors (to be on the safe side). Ok, so I didn't do it on purpose! Washing it was fun, but the best part was trying to dry everything.
I've discovered that the hairdryer causes the business cards to curl up/wrinkle.....so I used the iron to flatten them out....turns out that ironing business cards causes a toxic smell from the ink and dyes burning up, but they are dry nonetheless.
The wallet is a tough one. The hairdryer got too hot and shut down, thus it was relatively ineffective. Thinking like a true man of genius, I figure "Hey it's leather, leather comes from cows, cows give us meat, we put meat in the microwave, so I'll nuke it!!"
Logically speaking, this was a great idea....but upon placing the wallet in the microwave, I found myself wondering what button should I push? "Defrost?" Nah, it's not frozen meat, it's just wet. "Reheat?" Nah, it was never heated a first time (it was a COLD cycle afterall) so that's out. "Popcorn?" Seeing as how my microwave always burns popcorn, this was not an option. "Dinner?" No thanks, I'm not hungry. "Pizza?" Hmmmm, I know that this button makes my pizza taste like leather, but I'd be afraid that my wallet would turn into pizza, so this one is out of the question. "Baked Potato?" aaaahh, now this could work. Here's an option for heating up something room tempurature with the outer peeling being relatively the same texture, while the insides are wet. Seems like the potato button is an appropriate choice.
So I punch the button, hit start and stand back (just in case). Normally a baked potato would take 4:10 in my microwave.....a soggy Docker's wallet took approximately 15 seconds.....or at least that's how long it took for it to explode and let out a huge ball of steam.
For fear of permanently scorching my wallet to the turntable in the nukerator, I grabbed a set of tongs and removed the wallet from the microwave. The wallet was still wet and smelling like an old gym sock. But I never give up!
Using my cow - leather = meat + wallet formula, I hypothesized that the wallet resembled filet mignon.....so I whipped out the pans and broiled it on 325 for 12 minutes. I'm not a cook by any means, but this has to be the best looking piece of meat I've seen in quite some time!
The real test will be seeing if my credit cards work tomorrow!
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| « Last Edit: May 24th, 2005, 12:40am by Dave0377 » |
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Kevin_M
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Re: Laundering money....
« Reply #1 on: May 24th, 2005, 12:58am » |
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Took me years to dry out, but I didn't have any money or credit cards to worry about. The "Little Italy" pizza coupon didn't make it, and had to buy another condom.
It was two years old anyway, ya never know though.
but still trying to remember.
Kevin M
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| « Last Edit: May 24th, 2005, 1:39am by Kevin_M » |
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Lizzie2
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Re: Laundering money....
« Reply #2 on: May 24th, 2005, 1:11am » |
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Dave - you better be kidding! I don't have enough money on my debit card to pay to get out of the parking garage tomorrow! LMAO
Besides, I'm not supposed to have to pay for parking for my own graduation, remember?? LOL j/k ... I will if I have to.
For real excitement, put a useless cd in the microwave and watch a fireworks show - you may want to stand back or wear sunglasses for that one!
See ya in a few hours 
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Azrael
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Re: Laundering money....
« Reply #3 on: May 24th, 2005, 3:30am » |
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Washing debit/credit card in the clothes washer can truly be a pain. Most of the time, the signature pad on the back dissolves, and in the few stores that'll check, they'll now require to see your photo ID whenever you want to use the card. LOL At least the whole card doesn't dissolve, which is more than I can say for more than a few copies of my Social Security card. One of these days, I'll remember to laminate the damned thing.
PFDAN....................................... Drk^Angel
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LeLimey
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Re: Laundering money....
« Reply #4 on: May 24th, 2005, 4:37am » |
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Microwaving credit cards for a few seconds destroys the magnetic strip but leaves them looking normal.
I know this.
I microwavedall my ex's credit and debit cards before he went to Arizona to holiday with his girlfriend while he was still living with me 
Needless to say by the end of a week paying for EVERYTHING she was very much his EX so it didn't do me any favours in the long run 
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don
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Quote:The real test will be seeing if my credit cards work tomorrow!
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If they work you can buy a new wallet. Get one in neoprene.
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Lizzie2
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Re: Laundering money....
« Reply #6 on: May 24th, 2005, 6:30am » |
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Hey Drk,
I may not be remembering correctly, but doesn't the social security card say not valid if laminated? LOL I've thought about laminating mine so that I don't lose it as easily by accidentally pulling it out with another card, but then I saw that direction... 
Would have to check again to see if that's true, though!
Lizzie
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sandie99
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Re: Laundering money....
« Reply #7 on: May 24th, 2005, 7:37am » |
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Washing a wallet isn't that unusual as you might think... You see that happened to my parents back in 1991.
My mum was washing dad's clothes and she had told him about million times to make sure that there's nothing in the pockets. Well, apparently he forgot.
And so, on one night, during Christmas time, mum ended up washing dad's wallet. Luckily, dad had a habit of keeping his credit cards in another wallet, so nothing happened to them. But his cash and driver's licence were destroyed.
On any other time this event would have been just unfourtunate, but this took place just before we were due to leave for a two-week trip (to Florida!) and we had rented a car. So dad took a bottle of vodka and left for local policé station. Thank goodness the police officer was an understanding one so dad got new driver's licence quickly. And the police officer got a bottle of vodka.... But after the new licence was safely in dad's pocket.
But after this incident dad was more careful with his wallet and mum checked the pockets twice just to be sure...
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Azrael
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Re: Laundering money....
« Reply #8 on: May 24th, 2005, 4:15pm » |
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L2... You're most likely right... Now that you've mentioned it, I think I remember seeing that. But then again, have you ever noticed how many people have their cards laminated, and most places that needs to see it don't seem to care. Or at least in the by gones they didn't... No tellin' in this day and age of Homeland Security how strict they'd be on it. I remember that my mom had one of those metal SS cards made, and used it anytime she needed to show it, but that was when I was a wee youngin'... 
PFDAN....................................... Drk^Angel
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..Danielle..
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Re: Laundering money....
« Reply #9 on: May 24th, 2005, 4:52pm » |
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My son couldn't find his wallet the other day..........................
I found it when I was folding the laundry he had done............
This is what was left of his free movie pass...........................
On the up side, he didn't have his bank card for about ten days, so he hasn't been spending his allowance 
Danielle
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maffumatt
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Re: Laundering money....
« Reply #10 on: May 24th, 2005, 5:08pm » |
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Before I moved to California I was getting my stuff together before my flight. I couldn't find my wallet. We tore the house apart with no luck. We had gotten about 15 inches of snow a few days earlier and had spent a Saterday with the kids slideing down a hill on tubes and pulling each other with the truck down the road. I spent two days looking for the damb thing because i needed my ID. Our washer and dryer were in the carport and the washer line had froze. SO the day before I had to leave I was fixing it so my wife wouldnt have to use the laundrymat. My wallet was froze to the side of the inside of the washer.
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Lizzie2
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Re: Laundering money....
« Reply #11 on: May 24th, 2005, 6:40pm » |
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I saw the wallet - it actually doesn't look that bad. Apparently the washer did dissolve a couple of dollars, and what Dave wrote is all true except for the part where he said he put it in the oven...that didn't happen. haha
But he DID try to iron out his business cards after drying them with a hair dryer and they curled up. THAT I found amusing...
Apparently the washer wiped off one or two signatures off his cards, but they're still in good shape! I didn't have to pay for parking, but we did have to take route 202 home instead of the turnpike because since the washer dissolved his last 2 dollars, he didn't have any toll money. I offered to pay, but I fell asleep in the car long before we ever got to the part where you decide to go to the turnpike or 202. Oops
Carrie
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Barry_T_Coles
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Re: Laundering money....
« Reply #12 on: May 24th, 2005, 10:37pm » |
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Dave
Know how you feel, some years back when my wallet had got fat ( not with money ) I decided to have a clean out.
Pulled out all the old ATM slips, reciepts and other members of the paraphenalia group and placed them in one pile, in the other pile I placed the essentials ie drivers licence, gun licence,credit cards,health care card,membership cards etc.
I dont know what I did next but to my astonishment a couple of days later when I went to the ATM all I had in my wallet was a neat pack of paraphenalia and I knew that the rubbish man had been yesterday.
It's great fun trying to get replacement cards and the documentation always has to be done in triplecate.
Shees!
Barry
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Azrael
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Re: Laundering money....
« Reply #13 on: May 24th, 2005, 11:16pm » |
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I've never had any paper money dissolve in the wash... Are ya sure it wasn't just an excuse, so he wouldn't have to pay the toll?
PFDAN.......................................... Drk^Angel
P.S. Or maybe it was the money he tried to dry in the oven... Mmmmmmmmmmmm...
DA
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Lizzie2
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Re: Laundering money....
« Reply #14 on: May 24th, 2005, 11:20pm » |
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on May 24th, 2005, 11:16pm, Drk^Angel wrote:I've never had any paper money dissolve in the wash... Are ya sure it wasn't just an excuse, so he wouldn't have to pay the toll?
PFDAN.......................................... Drk^Angel
P.S. Or maybe it was the money he tried to dry in the oven... Mmmmmmmmmmmm...
DA |
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LMAO Well...the toll for our turnpike travel is only like $1.25 -- I would have gladly turned that over if he'd have wanted it! I did wake up once or twice to some blaring horns - at one point, someone sped onto the highway at about 80mph and cut off a car traveling rapidly down the right lane - I half remember saying, "what the f*ck was that?" and falling back to sleep. haha
At least that goes to show that I trust Dave's driving
Maybe it's a hint that he wants a new wallet as a gift at,...uh...Christmas? That's aways off! hehe
Carrie
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Jeepgun
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Re: Laundering money....
« Reply #15 on: May 25th, 2005, 2:05pm » |
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LOL! For some real fun, if you're very bored some evening, get one of the large gummy bears. Put it on a paper plate and set the microwave for one minute. The gummy bear begins to wave its arms and kick its legs and writhe around. Then it swells up and pops. It's gruesome, but soooo cool.
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