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Topic: Overheard on an elevator. (Read 1354 times) |
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Miklos
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Overheard on an elevator.
« on: May 16th, 2005, 8:23pm » |
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...so I turned on the light and there was this girl in the middle of the floor. Her throat had been slashed, and there was a big puddle of blood. Beside the body was a knife. I knew I was in really big trouble. If I called the police, there would be a ton of hassles. And, if I didn't, someone would might find me there. So I ripped the sleeve off my shirt and carefully...
Doors open. Guy goes out. Doors close.
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| « Last Edit: May 17th, 2005, 8:41am by Miklos » |
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Don't be offended by my frank analysis. Think of it as personality dialysis.
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Sean_C
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Re: Overheard on an elevator. Painful, not CH
« Reply #1 on: May 16th, 2005, 8:27pm » |
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Put the bottle down Miklos  Its bedtime
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Langa
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Re: Overheard on an elevator. Painful, not CH
« Reply #2 on: May 16th, 2005, 8:33pm » |
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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Kevin_M
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Re: Overheard on an elevator. Painful, not CH
« Reply #3 on: May 16th, 2005, 8:36pm » |
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Did you notice if his cufflinks had the initials OJ on them?
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Jonny
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Re: Overheard on an elevator. Painful, not CH
« Reply #4 on: May 16th, 2005, 8:38pm » |
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I hit the stop button, throw the bitch out the roof hatch and then hit the go button....if someone is there when the doors open I go screaming out the door yelling "This place is crazy"....never to be seen again
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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Sean_C
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Re: Overheard on an elevator. Painful, not CH
« Reply #5 on: May 16th, 2005, 8:41pm » |
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His room is next to yours in Dallas.....................................any last wishes?
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floridian
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Re: Overheard on an elevator. Painful, not CH
« Reply #6 on: May 16th, 2005, 8:45pm » |
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Fun things to do on the elevator:
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
18. When at least eight people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "Gotta go, gotta go," then sigh and say "Oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say: "Mmmm... tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
(I didn't know that doing Tai Chi in an elevator might freak someone out. Sorry, I won't do it again.)
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| « Last Edit: May 16th, 2005, 8:49pm by floridian » |
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cootie
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sumday I'm gonna be sumbody........ ..
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Re: Overheard on an elevator. Painful, not CH
« Reply #7 on: May 16th, 2005, 8:56pm » |
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Ever try to rip the sleeve off a shirt carefully while wearing it ? Snipper Pam
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Cause and Effect......"Cause is the effect concealed, Effect is the cause revealed"
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BlueMeanie
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Re: Overheard on an elevator. Painful, not CH
« Reply #8 on: May 16th, 2005, 9:31pm » |
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on May 16th, 2005, 8:23pm, Miklos wrote:...so I turned on the light and there was this girl in the middle of the floor. Her throat had been slashed, and there was a big puddle of blood. Beside the body was a knife. I knew I was in really big trouble. If I called the police, there would be a ton of hassles. And, if I didn't, someone would might find me there. So I ripped the sleeve off my shirt and carefully...
Doors open. Guy goes out. Doors close.
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Bad timing Mik... we just had 2 little 2nd grade girls get their throats slashed last week in Zion, IL. I know you're trying to be funny, but right now this post sucks !!! The guy that did it was the father of one of the girls. I hope the guy rots in hell.
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Sean_C
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Re: Overheard on an elevator. Painful, not CH
« Reply #9 on: May 16th, 2005, 9:49pm » |
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on May 16th, 2005, 9:31pm, BlueMeanie wrote:
Bad timing Mik... we just had 2 little 2nd grade girls get their throats slashed last week in Zion, IL. I know you're trying to be funny, but right now this post sucks !!! The guy that did it was the father of one of the girls. I hope the guy rots in hell. |
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He won't last a week in general population Blue, his demise is forthcoming  No women, no kids, those are the rules.
Sean...............................
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| « Last Edit: May 16th, 2005, 9:51pm by Sean_C » |
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BlueMeanie
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Re: Overheard on an elevator. Painful, not CH
« Reply #10 on: May 16th, 2005, 9:56pm » |
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on May 16th, 2005, 9:49pm, Sean_C wrote:
He won't last a week in general population Blue, his demise is forthcoming No women, no kids, those are the rules.
Sean...............................
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I hope you're right Sean. Every day I see a little girl with their parents, I think of that evil guy. Still aint' got over that shit yet. I've been to that park they got murdered in several times. Don't know if i'll go back now.
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Sean_C
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Re: Overheard on an elevator. Painful, not CH
« Reply #11 on: May 16th, 2005, 10:12pm » |
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on May 16th, 2005, 9:56pm, BlueMeanie wrote:
I hope you're right Sean. Every day I see a little girl with their parents, I think of that evil guy. Still aint' got over that shit yet. I've been to that park they got murdered in several times. Don't know if i'll go back now.
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Lots of angry bad ass fathers in prison for life Blue looking at it as it could have been theres, nuff said.
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| « Last Edit: May 16th, 2005, 10:13pm by Sean_C » |
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Miklos
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Re: Overheard on an elevator. 1937
« Reply #12 on: May 16th, 2005, 10:55pm » |
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Understand where you are coming from Blue. I read the news. But, this is a clip from 1937. Alfred Hitchcock was the perpetrator.
I have done this several times on a elevator. Gets awfully quiet in there. Deathly quiet.
Better than Flo's gags though.
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don
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Re: Overheard on an elevator. 1937
« Reply #13 on: May 16th, 2005, 11:00pm » |
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Quote:| He won't last a week in general population |
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He's done. Waaayyy done.
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BlueMeanie
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Re: Overheard on an elevator. 1937
« Reply #14 on: May 16th, 2005, 11:12pm » |
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No problem Mik... it just kinda hit me wrong after whats happened. Besides, I was even dreamt up yet in 37' 
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sandie99
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Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
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Re: Overheard on an elevator. Painful, not CH
« Reply #15 on: May 17th, 2005, 6:14am » |
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on May 16th, 2005, 9:31pm, BlueMeanie wrote:
Bad timing Mik... we just had 2 little 2nd grade girls get their throats slashed last week in Zion, IL. I know you're trying to be funny, but right now this post sucks !!! The guy that did it was the father of one of the girls. I hope the guy rots in hell. |
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That's terrible! :'(
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| « Last Edit: May 17th, 2005, 6:15am by sandie99 » |
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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ExplodingEyeBall
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Re: Overheard on an elevator.
« Reply #16 on: May 17th, 2005, 10:24am » |
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I saw that one in the local papers. He was pissed at his daughter because she lifted $40.00 out of her mom's purse.
She was grounded but her mom let her off grounding early.
He went out and found her with the friend that stole the money with her.
What an animal. How can someone get that pissed at thier own daughter to do something like that?
Throw him in prison with a tattoo that says child killer stamped on his forehead.
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Just poke out my eye and get it over with!!!
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