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Topic: CarlD where are my flaming jokes?!! (Read 331 times) |
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LeLimey
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CarlD where are my flaming jokes?!!
« on: May 13th, 2005, 3:40pm » |
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Carl you're slipping! Where are your usual offerings? .. reading those is the start of my weekend so pull your finger out y'hear?!!!
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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ExplodingEyeBall
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Re: CarlD where are my flaming jokes?!!
« Reply #1 on: May 13th, 2005, 4:18pm » |
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There once was an old couple who had been married for thirty years.
Every morning the old boy would wake up and give off an enormous fart, much to his long suffering wife's annoyance.
"You'll fart your guts out one of these days," she always complained.
After a particularly bad week the wife decided to have her revenge and got up early, placing some turkey giblets in the bed next to the old boy's arse.
While making breakfast downstairs she heard his usual morning fart reverberate through the floorboards followed by a scream.
Twenty minutes later a rather shaken man came downstairs.
"You was right all along Missus," the old man says, "I finally did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God, and these two fingers, I managed to push 'em back in!"
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Just poke out my eye and get it over with!!!
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vietvet2tours
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Re: CarlD where are my flaming jokes?!!
« Reply #2 on: May 13th, 2005, 4:20pm » |
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I WANT 
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Kill em all let God sort em out
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ExplodingEyeBall
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Re: CarlD where are my flaming jokes?!!
« Reply #3 on: May 13th, 2005, 4:25pm » |
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Just poke out my eye and get it over with!!!
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sandie99
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Re: CarlD where are my flaming jokes?!!
« Reply #4 on: May 13th, 2005, 4:28pm » |
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Top 10 Funny Store Signs
1.Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary, we hear you coming."
2.Outside a hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."
3.On a desk in a reception room: "We shoot every 3rd salesman , and the 2nd one just left."
4.In a veterinarians waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes, Sit ! Stay!"
5.At the electric company: "We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't you will be."
6.On the door of a computer store: "Out for a quick byte."
7.In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up."
8.Inside a bowling alley: "Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop."
9.In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait."
10.In a counselors office: "Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ --------
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"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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Jonny
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Re: CarlD where are my flaming jokes?!!
« Reply #5 on: May 13th, 2005, 4:35pm » |
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Flaming?....Check out this fire breathing DUMBASS!....LMAO 
http://www.consumptionjunction.com/content/detail.asp?ID=44959&type= 1&page=1&fav=0
Sandie...your post is too funny....LMAO
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
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Langa
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Re: CarlD where are my flaming jokes?!!
« Reply #6 on: May 13th, 2005, 4:47pm » |
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Great Store Signs Sandie... 
Pat, why does the topic of your joke not surprise me... 
LOL
Langa
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ExplodingEyeBall
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Re: CarlD where are my flaming jokes?!!
« Reply #7 on: May 13th, 2005, 4:49pm » |
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on May 13th, 2005, 4:47pm, Langa wrote:
Pat, why does the topic of your joke not surprise me...
LOL
Langa
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I couldn't help it. It slipped.
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Just poke out my eye and get it over with!!!
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Langa
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Re: CarlD where are my flaming jokes?!!
« Reply #8 on: May 13th, 2005, 4:49pm » |
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Here's one I like Helen...
And of course I thought of you Pat...
Langa
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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LeLimey
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Re: CarlD where are my flaming jokes?!!
« Reply #9 on: May 13th, 2005, 5:41pm » |
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Thanks everyone they are brilliant! Jonny my sweet.. you have way to much time on your hands!! (where DO you get this stiff?!!!!)
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Jonny
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Re: CarlD where are my flaming jokes?!!
« Reply #10 on: May 13th, 2005, 5:56pm » |
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on May 13th, 2005, 5:41pm, LeLimey wrote:| (where DO you get this stiff?!!!!) |
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In my pants
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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nani
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Re: CarlD where are my flaming jokes?!!
« Reply #11 on: May 13th, 2005, 6:12pm » |
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on May 13th, 2005, 5:56pm, Jonny wrote:
In my pants
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 Bwahahahaha....
Freudian slip, Helen??
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Others may come and go, but MY power is MINE.
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Ronny
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Re: CarlD where are my flaming jokes?!!
« Reply #12 on: May 13th, 2005, 6:53pm » |
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on May 13th, 2005, 5:41pm, LeLimey wrote:| Thanks everyone they are brilliant! Jonny my sweet.. you have way to much time on your hands!! (where DO you get this stiff?!!!!) |
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Hehehehe
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Carl_D
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Re: CarlD where are my flaming jokes?!!
« Reply #13 on: May 13th, 2005, 7:05pm » |
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They're a coming... there a coming...
See my post to see whats up.
Carl
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Charlie
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Re: CarlD where are my flaming jokes?!!
« Reply #14 on: May 13th, 2005, 9:10pm » |
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Charlie 
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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LeLimey
CH.com Alumnus
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OUCH-US - Less "ME" and more "WE"
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Re: CarlD where are my flaming jokes?!!
« Reply #15 on: May 14th, 2005, 4:10am » |
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Umm...Sheet when I dig a hole I dig it DEEP don't I?!
LMAO..oh well, you think I'd be used to it by now...
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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sandie99
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Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
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Re: CarlD where are my flaming jokes?!!
« Reply #16 on: May 14th, 2005, 10:39am » |
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on May 14th, 2005, 4:10am, LeLimey wrote:
Umm...Sheet when I dig a hole I dig it DEEP don't I?!
LMAO..oh well, you think I'd be used to it by now... |
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Don't be too hard on yourself... Sometimes we all slip...
BTW, I'm glad you liked the store signs! 
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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