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Topic: Evaluations (Read 184 times) |
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Jimi
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Evaluations
« on: May 3rd, 2005, 12:01pm » |
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For those in management that must give out evaluations to your employees, here are a few you might want to use.
Employee Evaluations
For everyone who has ever had an evaluation - just remember, it could have
been worse. These are actual quotes taken from Federal Government employee
performance evaluations.
1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has
started to dig."
2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."
3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a
definite won't be."
4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in
a trap."
5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."
6. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
7. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve
them."
8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
9. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."
10. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all
together."
11. "A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
12. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
15. "He's been working with glue too much."
16. "He would argue with a signpost."
17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other
one."
20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."
22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."
24. "He's got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking
for it."
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I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
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sandie99
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Re: Evaluations
« Reply #1 on: May 3rd, 2005, 12:20pm » |
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Priceless!  
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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Langa
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So many donuts, such little time...
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Re: Evaluations
« Reply #2 on: May 3rd, 2005, 1:54pm » |
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Quote:| 10. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together." |
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Damn, that's messed up...
LMAO! These are great..thanks Jimi.
Langa
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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Jimi
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Who loves ya baby!
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Re: Evaluations
« Reply #3 on: May 3rd, 2005, 2:31pm » |
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You would pick that one LOL
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I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.
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Lizzie2
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Re: Evaluations
« Reply #4 on: May 3rd, 2005, 2:39pm » |
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on May 3rd, 2005, 2:31pm, Jimi wrote:| You would pick that one LOL |
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That was my favorite one, too!! 
No comments about being too young neither. I was half-toasted after doing a triple shot, then downing an Amaretto Sour, and taking a sip straight from a wine bottle at my brother's graduation party dinner.
I skip the beer...give me the REAL stuff.
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LeLimey
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Re: Evaluations
« Reply #5 on: May 3rd, 2005, 3:13pm » |
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Quote:| 12. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier." |
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LMAO.. I work with this guy! He has had more written warnings than I have had hot dinners and he STILL manages to blag his way out of trouble!
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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purpleydog
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Re: Evaluations
« Reply #6 on: May 3rd, 2005, 8:36pm » |
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Quote:"He's got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking
for it." |
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I should keep this list in my desk. 
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Carl_D
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8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
This is not a factor in my village of Granite City, Illinois. In fact, if you're missing an idiot, it may be found somewhere between K-Mart and the new Applebees. Full of geniune, pure bred idiots there! As if the morons at Wally World weren't enough.
Great list Jimi.
Carl
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TxBasslady
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Bass fishin' is a h00t It's the catchin' that sux
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Re: Evaluations
« Reply #8 on: May 4th, 2005, 12:58am » |
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LMAO....Jimi...
uh.....my hubby is a Fed.....did ya happen to catch the name on that one.. 
Oh...I just remembered....he retired...good grief!
Jean
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How lucky I am... to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye too.
Take a kid fishin
www.takemefishin.org
I adopted a Vietnam POW/MIA from El Paso, Texas! 
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