Author |
Topic: 16 yr old daughter is pregnant... (Read 609 times) |
|
athos
New Board Hall of Famer
Reality is for those who lack imagination!
  
 
Gender: 
Posts: 770
|
 |
16 yr old daughter is pregnant...
« on: Apr 21st, 2005, 2:57am » |
 Quote  Modify
|
can't do this...
can't.....
I did something to piss off God
Just make it quick
|
|
 IP Logged |
http://www.XdUP.com
Find Your Value For X
|
|
|
Renee
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
May we all find some pf time! Is it summer yet?
Gender: 
Posts: 1060
|
|
Re: 16 yr old daughter is pregnant...
« Reply #1 on: Apr 21st, 2005, 6:47am » |
Quote Modify
|
Ken,
Just wanted to let you know my thoughts are with you!
Renee
|
|
IP Logged |
23 years of battling the beast, 9 years chronic......uneducated docs/nurses make me irate.
The fungus among us is for real!
|
|
|
rickyshot
New Board Hall of Famer
ouch
Gender:
Posts: 985
|
|
Re: 16 yr old daughter is pregnant...
« Reply #2 on: Apr 21st, 2005, 7:43am » |
Quote Modify
|
Not much you can do. Just support her and prepare to become a grandparent. I hope she will continue in her schoolwork.
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
BarbaraD
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Hugs to ya
Gender:
Posts: 5164
|
|
Re: 16 yr old daughter is pregnant...
« Reply #3 on: Apr 21st, 2005, 8:06am » |
Quote Modify
|
Ken,
We went thru this in our family years ago when our 15 year old neice got pregnant. At first it's a shock, then you plan for the little one. Our little angle has been a Godsend. He's grown now and has a little one of his own. He's always been the "special" kid in the family.
So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, take what's given to you and just figure there's a reason for it.
Hugs BD
|
|
IP Logged |
What don't kill ya, Makes ya stonger!
|
|
|
nani
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Got kudzu?
Gender:
Posts: 7953
|
|
Re: 16 yr old daughter is pregnant...
« Reply #4 on: Apr 21st, 2005, 9:12am » |
Quote Modify
|
Sorry, Ken.
I was a 16 yo Mom. Certainly wasn't the smartest move I ever made in my life, but it wasn't the end of the world. Try to be as supportive as possible. She needs to be reminded that she can't let this stop her life from going on as she planned. It will be hard, but she can finish school, go to college and make positive choices from here on. If not for herself, then for her baby.
You all are in my thoughts and prayers. hugs, nani
|
|
IP Logged |
Others may come and go, but MY power is MINE.
|
|
|
cootie
New Board Hall of Famer
sumday I'm gonna be sumbody........ ..
Gender:
Posts: 8406
|
|
Re: 16 yr old daughter is pregnant...
« Reply #5 on: Apr 21st, 2005, 10:57am » |
Quote Modify
|
Man that is goin to be a real tough one.......my daughter got pregnant thinkin her boyfreind that didn't work or do shit would take her more serious and get a really good job and buy her a house and life would be so rosey !!! WRONG ANSWER. The kid was a bad boy anyhow and in all sorts of trouble and he took off.....so she thinks to herself.......hmmmmmm.....but I'll get lots of child support in the mail and get money and do just fine......WRONG AGAIN. We had her arragnged to go to a womans house after the baby was born.....I KNOW this sounds bad to most of you and am sorry for that......but WE COULD NOT support her and a baby here in this small house.....it jus was NOT goin to happen. She was a bit older then 16 tho (she did get pregnanat twice before by low lifer's and had early miscarrages....)....I know too many freinds that are now raiseing there grand kids and can't do anything or go out and paying for everything and the kid gets pregnant again !!! And gets to run around with everything paid for....what a life.....sum sort of plan ?? We couldn't do it....were active and have things to do and did our part. Knowing my kid she would of STUCK us all the time and been runing around makein us pay for insurence and cars and never change. She stole from us and lied to us to much previous. With this womans house program they MADE them work and helped with sitters....and they had to share work around the apartments with lawn ect. No boys were allowed near the place or in rooms. And they had affordable liveing and counciling. We felt it the best for her and for us......we just were not seein her go in the rite direction and us supporting her here further would of imprison'd us. She now has 3 kids and no one is working.....mite loose her house. She hasn't changed but she is a good mom. OK.....rant over.....it was a BAD time for us. Was hard to send her off but we had to....we did our part. Kidless in Ohio Pam
|
|
IP Logged |
Cause and Effect......"Cause is the effect concealed, Effect is the cause revealed"
|
|
|
LadyElaine
Guest
|
|
Re: 16 yr old daughter is pregnant...
« Reply #6 on: Apr 21st, 2005, 11:09am » |
Quote Modify
 Remove
|
Its hard Ken, they made a big mistake when that happens. We as adults have to be the adults and support them. If you don't you might lose for life something you can't get back. I know I fliped when my first daughter did that. I lost her, and the baby.
I didn't flip out when my other daughter did the same thing instead I supported her. I am glad I did. It was hard but the reward was wonderful.
Support your daughter and love her. It will all work out!
Hugs
E
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
ShariRae
New Board Hall of Famer
 
Gender:
Posts: 927
|
|
Re: 16 yr old daughter is pregnant...
« Reply #7 on: Apr 21st, 2005, 11:10am » |
Quote Modify
|
Ken,
After the initial shock is over,just make sure she knows you love her & that will never change..best to ALL of you
Huggs
Shari
|
|
IP Logged |
Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you,
Jesus Christ and the American Soldier.
One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.
|
|
|
mynm156
New Board Hall of Famer
hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it
Gender:
Posts: 1708
|
|
Re: 16 yr old daughter is pregnant...
« Reply #8 on: Apr 21st, 2005, 11:19am » |
Quote Modify
|
My mom was 16 when she had me. She talked to me over and over again about being careful and waiting. I took her advice I waited till I was 19. The Mother was 16 though. Sometimes we do everything right and it still happened. Just stay strong and support your baby girl through this. We will always be here to support you!
your Brother in Pain
mynm156
|
|
IP Logged |
"Half of the modern drugs could well be thrown out of the window, except that the birds might eat them."
|
|
|
Jeepgun
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
BOHICA!!!
Gender:
Posts: 3840
|
|
Re: 16 yr old daughter is pregnant...
« Reply #9 on: Apr 21st, 2005, 11:31am » |
Quote Modify
|
to your whole family, Ken.
|
| « Last Edit: Apr 21st, 2005, 11:31am by Jeepgun » |
IP Logged |
Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
|
|
|
athos
New Board Hall of Famer
Reality is for those who lack imagination!
Gender:
Posts: 770
|
|
Re: 16 yr old daughter is pregnant...
« Reply #10 on: Apr 21st, 2005, 11:37am » |
Quote Modify
|
I can't think of a way that she should keep this baby.
She and the father are head long in to drugs, alcohol and gang violence. Theft ring and assault.
This baby needs a chance at life.
|
|
IP Logged |
http://www.XdUP.com
Find Your Value For X
|
|
|
sandie99
New Board Hall of Famer
Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
Gender:
Posts: 10429
|
|
Re: 16 yr old daughter is pregnant...
« Reply #11 on: Apr 21st, 2005, 11:50am » |
Quote Modify
|
I've noticed that things seem bad at first. Some blessings come in disguise. I know it wasn't something you wanted for your daughter at her age, but it might be good for her if she has lived a wild life before. 
|
|
IP Logged |
CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
|
|
|
nani
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Got kudzu?
Gender:
Posts: 7953
|
|
Re: 16 yr old daughter is pregnant...
« Reply #12 on: Apr 21st, 2005, 1:11pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Ken, if she's drinking and using drugs while pregnant, she can do a great deal of harm to the baby. Even if the child is given up for adoption, it's going to have to deal with a plethora of issues due to prenatal substance abuse.
I wish I had some real advice to give you. 
I will say that in NM, a minor under the influence can be admitted to a psyche hopsital or rehab because they are a danger to themself. If she's pregnant, that may constitute a danger to others as well. Perhaps an involuntary trip to rehab will at least give her some tools to stay clean and sober during the pregnancy. IMHO, it's the least she can do for this baby.
Hugs and prayers, nani
|
|
IP Logged |
Others may come and go, but MY power is MINE.
|
|
|
vig
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
CHit Happens
Gender:
Posts: 4401
|
|
Re: 16 yr old daughter is pregnant...
« Reply #13 on: Apr 21st, 2005, 1:14pm » |
Quote Modify
|
:^(.............
|
|
IP Logged |
never, Never, NEVER quit. -Winston Churchill
|
|
|
Charlie
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Happy to be here
 
Gender:
Posts: 14968
|
|
Re: 16 yr old daughter is pregnant...
« Reply #14 on: Apr 21st, 2005, 1:25pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Man. What a way to grow up.
Damn drugs make other options attractive for some.
My ex squeeze put up for adoption her first because she was 16. Over time she thought it was the right thing.
Wish I had something profound.
Charlie
|
|
IP Logged |
There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
|
|
|
Woobie
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
I luv you guys!!!!!!!!
Gender:
Posts: 3800
|
|
Re: 16 yr old daughter is pregnant...
« Reply #15 on: Apr 21st, 2005, 1:42pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Ken
I'm sorry!
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
LadyLuv
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Gender:
Posts: 549
|
|
Re: 16 yr old daughter is pregnant...
« Reply #16 on: Apr 21st, 2005, 2:29pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Ken, this is not on you and Gods' not punishing you...
Don't you sit there blaming your self... I have a youth group that I work with with under privilege and troubled children.
We can do the best we can with our children, give them the best of everything and then they meet someone that have more influence than we do... or they want to prove that they belong and every thing we have said or done goes on the back burner...
It sounds like she need help in order that the baby do not become another statistic.. I'm Praying that you can get her into some kind of rehab, so she can dry out and atleast give the baby a chance..
I will keep you in my Prayers...
Lady Luv
|
|
IP Logged |
http://i5.tinypic.com/20s7l1l.jpg [/img ]
|
|
|
Cathi04
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Gender:
Posts: 1745
|
|
Re: 16 yr old daughter is pregnant...
« Reply #17 on: Apr 21st, 2005, 2:50pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Lady Luv is right, Ken..........this is NOT God's punishment............it simply IS a situation. period
I know you, and I know your morals, and I know how hard you have tried with Cami...
I also know that there is a BIG problem inasmuch as this baby has been exposed to alcohol and lord knows what else, but still, I have to tell you something......
8Yrs ago, on Valentine's Day, my son came to me, girlfriend in tow, and said."Mom, be happy for us, we are gonna have a baby".....I pasted on a smile, hugged em....and when I could, cried in my own solitude, till I could cry with my husband. Well, fast-forward to today. I have just returned from a cruise to the caribbean, my now 7 yr old grandson Michael wrote in a journal each day we were gone. He told of all the things he was doing, and how much he hoped we were having fun, but couldnt wait for us to get home so we could visit.
Ken, he is the light of my life! This child I dreaded....and he is smart, and funny and thoughtful and insightful....
and, even though I knew what I was in for, I got him some steel drums while in the Virgin Islands...and damned if the kid isnt actually playing tunes on em already......
How could I have lived without this child?????????
You never know.......BUT, Ken, if you want to know what part God played in this.......it remains to be seen....
No more beating yourself up, please? This is NOT your fault.....it is simply something that has occurred(yes, I know where babies come from.....).dont take ownership, dont feel responsible, and, above all, dont-please, think of this as punishment......band with Jody, hold on tight, and see what happens.......
My best to you both, Ken.......and CAMI?????? Take care of that baby.beginning NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cathi
|
| « Last Edit: Apr 21st, 2005, 2:52pm by Cathi04 » |
IP Logged |
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.
|
|
|
Tiannia
New Board Hall of Famer
Life does not apologies......
Gender:
Posts: 3241
|
|
Re: 16 yr old daughter is pregnant...
« Reply #18 on: Apr 21st, 2005, 3:05pm » |
Quote Modify
|
on Apr 21st, 2005, 11:37am, athos wrote:I can't think of a way that she should keep this baby.
She and the father are head long in to drugs, alcohol and gang violence. Theft ring and assault.
This baby needs a chance at life. |
|
Ken I was going to stay out of this but there are issues that need to be addressed now. Before what she is doing effects this child in ways that can not be undone.
Here is alink that you might want to look into . They might be aboe to poiint you in the right direction of how best to help her and what options are open to her and to you.
http://www.drugrehabresources.com/bycity.php/Arizona/Lake%20Havasu%20Cit y
This is not a simple case of assepting her and standing by her. The drugs and gang shit needs to be addressed now. She needs a reality check and coming from you might not help but an outside sourse can get through in a way that you cant. I fshe is going to make adult choices about drugs and sex then it is high time that she be forced to face some other ADULT issues like the responsibility for your actions.
Ken - tough love is hard but sometimes needed. It DOES NOT mean that you turn your back on them. It means that you give them the resourses to take care of themselves and let them do it.
Besides, maybe they can help get her into a program that has family counseling as well so that you and your wife and get some extra tools to help you with this.
NA might be a good place to start. Open meetings can really help you to get some idea of how to reach her that is beyond the wall of mom and dad.
PM me if you ever want to talk. I counseled addicts for 7 years.
Hang in there. This did not happen because of you. Dont take all this on yourself.
-Tia
|
|
IP Logged |
The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. - Carl Rogers
|
|
|
Cathi04
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
I love YaBB 1G - SP1!
Gender:
Posts: 1745
|
|
Re: 16 yr old daughter is pregnant...
« Reply #19 on: Apr 21st, 2005, 3:42pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Thank you, Tia..........this is excellent advice!
Ken, you KNOW Cami's background.please get in touch with Tia........
You know this comes out of concern for you and Jody and the kids.....
|
|
IP Logged |
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.
|
|
|
athos
New Board Hall of Famer
Reality is for those who lack imagination!
Gender:
Posts: 770
|
|
Re: 16 yr old daughter is pregnant...
« Reply #20 on: Apr 21st, 2005, 4:05pm » |
Quote Modify
|
thanks guys
Jody and I are so polarized on this it is at the breaking point there to.
Thanks Tia, I will be in touch.
|
|
IP Logged |
http://www.XdUP.com
Find Your Value For X
|
|
|
Kris_in_SJ
New Board Hall of Famer
There's no place like home.
Gender:
Posts: 1539
|
|
Re: 16 yr old daughter is pregnant...
« Reply #21 on: Apr 21st, 2005, 8:15pm » |
Quote Modify
|
My thoughts and prayers are with you, Ken. Check your PM's. I sent a few thoughts that way.
Many Hugs,
Kris
|
|
IP Logged |
I'm a small woman in small town being chased by a VERY BIG BEAST!
|
|
|
Sean_C
Guest
|
|
Re: 16 yr old daughter is pregnant...
« Reply #22 on: Apr 21st, 2005, 11:27pm » |
Quote Modify
Remove
|
16 is a tough age, we're thinking of all of you.
Sean.........................
|
| « Last Edit: Apr 22nd, 2005, 12:01am by Sean_C » |
IP Logged |
|
|
|
KingOfPain
New Board Hall of Famer
Disgusted!
Gender:
Posts: 1552
|
|
Re: 16 yr old daughter is pregnant...
« Reply #23 on: Apr 22nd, 2005, 12:47am » |
Quote Modify
|
on Apr 21st, 2005, 11:37am, athos wrote:I can't think of a way that she should keep this baby.
She and the father are head long in to drugs, alcohol and gang violence. Theft ring and assault.
This baby needs a chance at life. |
|
Voice of reason.
Sounds to me you are on the right track Ken.
I'm on your side.
|
|
IP Logged |
Arrived August, 1999.
We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter.
- Denis Diderot
Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends. - Euripides
|
|
|
sandie99
New Board Hall of Famer
Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
Gender:
Posts: 10429
|
|
Re: 16 yr old daughter is pregnant...
« Reply #24 on: Apr 22nd, 2005, 1:02am » |
Quote Modify
|
Ken, whatever your family decides... you all are in my prayers. I hope that things turn out for the best.
|
|
IP Logged |
CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
|
|
|
|
|
|
Home
Help
Search
Members
Member Map
Login
Register
Reply
Notify of replies
Send Topic
Print
test rss