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rickyshot
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Marriage or shack up
« on: Apr 18th, 2005, 2:57pm » |
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What say y'all. Me personally it depends on the stage of life. When I was young I married and had my children. I am old fashioned enough to think when children are involved get married. Now at 50 and having been there and done that I do not want to marry again but would live together. Funny my last relationship of nine years we did not live together as our children were young and I did not want that. Now that my children are grown I would live with someone (maybe) if the relationship was headed that way. No contenders as of yet. Been two months since my breakup. I would not move in too quickly though. I would have to know the person a while. I have a friend who met her husband of over 20 years (now get this) by picking him up as a hitchhiker and they moved in together the next week. And it worked, they are still together all these years with two kids. LIfe is funny.
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don
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Quote:| by picking him up as a hitchhiker and they moved in together the next week. And it worked, they are still together all these years |
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Does he ever loosen up the duct tape?
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thomas
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Re: Marriage or shack up
« Reply #2 on: Apr 18th, 2005, 3:14pm » |
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I would have to say marriage.
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LeLimey
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Re: Marriage or shack up
« Reply #3 on: Apr 18th, 2005, 3:15pm » |
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First of all Ricky there is no way on this earth you are fifty! You look more like 30 tops! (not fair!)
Second, its a case of whats right at the time I think. Some people are happier just living together, some people want the commitment of getting married. When you are ready for either option.. you'll know! 
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Langa
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Re: Marriage or shack up
« Reply #4 on: Apr 18th, 2005, 3:17pm » |
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For me, it would have to be marriage…
Langa
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mynm156
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Re: Marriage or shack up
« Reply #5 on: Apr 18th, 2005, 3:34pm » |
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Remember Shaking up is just renting with the option to buy!
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..Danielle..
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Re: Marriage or shack up
« Reply #6 on: Apr 18th, 2005, 4:32pm » |
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I may be horribly old fashioned...but marriage seems the way to go. (20 years in October)
Can see the other side however...my mom's been happily shacked-up for 26 years...after two miserable marriages. One ended after the Mounties were called in.....it was an interesting childhood.
I guess it depends on your upbringing and your faith. I alway wonder if people see their lover as a long term commitment, or just someone to keep them busy till they find someone better. Society screams from the headlines that you can't possibly be happy and fulfilled unless you are bed hopping on a regular basis, and continually having hot sex. Although the hot sex can happen for years on end with the same partner (wow !)
What do I know, I married at 17, didn't date a lot.....
Danielle
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cootie
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Re: Marriage or shack up
« Reply #7 on: Apr 18th, 2005, 4:39pm » |
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Ya "never ever" really know sumone unless you have lived thru.....stress of money, bills, sex bullshit, disagreements, drunken stupors, sickness, diffferences of opinions and inlaw crap. So I am for gettin to know sumone for a long time before gettin legally married.....but up to you how you go about it. Knots can ravel Pam
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Miklos
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Re: Marriage or shack up
« Reply #8 on: Apr 18th, 2005, 4:51pm » |
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If had been convicted of a serious crime forty years ago, I would soon be eligible for parole. As a married person, parole doesn't seem to be an option.
It's just as well. At my age, I would never survive the meat market.
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E-Double
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Re: Marriage or shack up
« Reply #9 on: Apr 18th, 2005, 6:22pm » |
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on Apr 18th, 2005, 3:34pm, mynm156 wrote:| Remember Shaking up is just renting with the option to buy! |
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on Apr 18th, 2005, 4:39pm, cootie wrote:| Ya "never ever" really know sumone unless you have lived thru.....stress of money, bills, sex bullshit, disagreements, drunken stupors, sickness, diffferences of opinions and inlaw crap. So I am for gettin to know sumone for a long time before gettin legally married.....but up to you how you go about it. Knots can ravel Pam |
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I like those options.....and that is the way We did it.
Both of my parents are on their 3rd marriages. I am a product of #2 and that lasted just long enough to pop me out so that was a good thing.....The 3rd for each has lasted 29yrs(dad) and 24 yrs (mom)...It appears third time was a charm for the both of them.
I decided to shack up and go through the ups and downs of really getting to know eachother and give her the chance to see the real me (almost all of it...we all keep some skeletons )
A few of her friends who just got married then moved in were in for real surpirses and are having a miserable time.
For us nothing changed...we were already "married" now it is legal....
You've been through it before so enjoy everything you can regardless of which one you choose!
Hugs,
The Sinner 
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Ree
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Re: Marriage or shack up
« Reply #10 on: Apr 18th, 2005, 7:27pm » |
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I say shack up.......ya the nun says shack up!!!... I don't think people should get married til they decide to have a family... everything changes once your married.....the courtship the dance...... I am a firm believer in living together before marriage for my kids anyways... I never thought I would be divorced and was..... it ain't easy.....
ree
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Ree
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Re: Marriage or shack up
« Reply #11 on: Apr 18th, 2005, 7:32pm » |
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on Apr 18th, 2005, 3:14pm, thomas wrote:| I would have to say marriage. |
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spoken like a man in love.......LOL good for you thomas
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Proud Mom to US ARMY Kiowa OH58 PILOT~CWO2 SCOTT Hawaii, & USMC Vet~Now POLICE OFFICER SEAN, Citizen of the Month~ Breezy~ Nana 4 Matt/Mike&Aya, MIL To Shino Wife to Dave HI BILL!http://www.myspace.com/dungareespockethttp://www.prohawaiian.com
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Kris_in_SJ
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Re: Marriage or shack up
« Reply #12 on: Apr 18th, 2005, 7:37pm » |
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My hubby and I have been married 28 years, but lived together for awhile before tying the knot. That period was really important for us. What little obnoxious things can you live with and what is a total turn-off. We wanted to know those things and be able to deal with them first.
We're both children of divorce, so it seemed logical to "play house" first.
Now my daughter (21) and her significant other are getting an apartment together. Her dad and I are thrilled. We'd much rather pay for a wedding when both of them are sure that's what they want.
Kris
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Sean_C
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Re: Marriage or shack up
« Reply #13 on: Apr 18th, 2005, 7:38pm » |
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on Apr 18th, 2005, 7:27pm, Ree wrote:| ... everything changes once your married.....the courtship, the dance...... |
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the sex
Sean.................
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don
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Re: Marriage or shack up
« Reply #14 on: Apr 18th, 2005, 7:42pm » |
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Quote:| spoken like a man in love.......LOL good for you thomas |
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Lance is doing the happy dance.
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cootie
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Re: Marriage or shack up
« Reply #15 on: Apr 18th, 2005, 7:47pm » |
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My kid did the extreme no no....she had known the guy about a year or less.....he only worked seasonal jobs when she met him and he still does......and he likes to drink alot and has no other REAL hobbies or interests that we know of......she had two jobs but decided after they bought the house they can't afford that is too far away from everything and had 3 kids talkin bout kid number 4 that it is impossible to change the guy to get him to work year round. And guess what....there broke and in danger of loosein there house. But of course....it's not her fault. (so she thinks)Some people KNOW who they marry and deal with it later and it can't be fixed.....this guy isn't gonna go find a big bucks daily job and stop spendin all free time gone at the bars....and she isn't goin to stop havein kids. Sometimes it is buyer beware at both ends. Dumb and dumber Pam
I think she is watin for family to BAIL them out so they can contiune there life of struggles.....but....it's not gonna happen. Neither is gonna change and we all got our own struggles to worry about.
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| « Last Edit: Apr 18th, 2005, 7:50pm by cootie » |
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Ghost
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Re: Marriage or shack up
« Reply #16 on: Apr 18th, 2005, 8:40pm » |
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Dont do it ..... Live seperate and just visit alot its cheaper
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Jonny
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Re: Marriage or shack up
« Reply #17 on: Apr 18th, 2005, 8:42pm » |
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on Apr 18th, 2005, 8:40pm, ghost62 wrote:| Dont do it ..... Live seperate and just visit alot its cheaper |
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Not if your 2700 miles away.....its sucks 
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Ghost
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Re: Marriage or shack up
« Reply #18 on: Apr 18th, 2005, 8:45pm » |
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on Apr 18th, 2005, 8:42pm, Jonny wrote:
Not if your 2700 miles away.....its sucks |
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That is very true. But there is always pc and phone squishies.  seriously Ive done both and should have let her stay that far away. 
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Leesa
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Re: Marriage or shack up
« Reply #19 on: Apr 18th, 2005, 9:50pm » |
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Live w/ them first cuz then you REALLY find out what your gettin in to. "Look before you leap cuz still water runs deep" as my mom always said. Didnt live with the 1st X hubby and OMG   I should have. 2nd X sperm donor I did and it still went up in flames. I lived with Dave 4 yrs before we got married had son while we were still living together. Gettin ready to celebrate our 1st anniversy this July!!
Sometimes even when you live with someone it doesnt work sometimes it does. Go with your heart. If living together works for ya then go for it. If you want to get married go for it!! Do what makes YOU happy!!
IMHO, Leesa
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Gator
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Re: Marriage or shack up
« Reply #20 on: Apr 19th, 2005, 1:42am » |
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Whatever trips your trigger.
Your right and my right may be totally different.
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Azrael
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Re: Marriage or shack up
« Reply #21 on: Apr 19th, 2005, 1:59am » |
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Shack up... It's alot cheaper when you break up.
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Charlie
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Re: Marriage or shack up
« Reply #22 on: Apr 19th, 2005, 3:05am » |
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Sally and I were together for four years from 68 to 72. God did we dodge some bullets by not marrying. We had our share of problems. She lived 260 miles away for the last 37 years and never visited my place. Have to wonder. Last time I saw her was 1977, I think. She dropped dead at 57 last summer. Pretty strange feeling.
I'm not saying you shouldn't marry. I think it's a good idea now.
self centered old Charlie
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Re: Marriage or shack up
« Reply #23 on: Apr 19th, 2005, 6:11am » |
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Been happily married for 37 years. Wouldn't have it any other way. Didn't shack up first. Remember....50% of all marriages end in divorce...not a bad statistic when you consider that the other 50% end in death. Just do what's right for you.
The Old Man
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don
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Re: Marriage or shack up
« Reply #24 on: Apr 19th, 2005, 6:22am » |
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We live in the same State. Thats close enough.
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