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Topic: I Broke Easter Morning (Read 210 times) |
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PrettyH8Machine
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After only 3 CH's in a 60 something day period after doing 3 doses of 'shrooms, the CH's returned Wednesday and have been back with a vengeance. After several hits Saturday night and then yesterday morning, I succombed to the Trex again. Going into my 18th year with this shit, my sis in law said last night that she thinks clusters make me manic. Has anyone else been told this or noticed it going into cycle or while cycling? After being chronic for the last 7 years, I have only began to learn the toll it has taken on me - kind of numb to some things. Very desensitized.
It only takes a short period of time to forget the pain, but it takes only an instant with a CH to remember. Luckily I was able to maintain a smile throughout the day playing with my niece and nephew.
Today is spring cleaning, since there is no rain or imminent danger of my ceiling caving in at the moment. Just had to vent a bit.
Grinnin' and bearing it,
CD
*ps- I mentioned the manic thing because I have been sleeping good the last few weeks, but up until last night, had been awake for almost 4 days straight. I wasn't even drinking any caffiene. Could not sleep for the life of me and when I'd try for some, would eventually get up with the pressure building in my head.
I'm a thinking this coming weekend I will be getting some Kudzu to try, or some seeds.
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| « Last Edit: Mar 28th, 2005, 8:44am by Carl_D » |
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nani
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Got kudzu?
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Re: I Broke Easter Morning
« Reply #1 on: Mar 28th, 2005, 8:47am » |
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Tiannia
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Re: I Broke Easter Morning
« Reply #2 on: Mar 28th, 2005, 11:15am » |
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Dont know if I'd call it manic, but I know that when my CH;s ramp up, I dont sleep. It worries the shit out of my husband cause I drive most of the day with my job. But I wake up with the pressure and know that it is coming and cant lay back down. Even being on the Kudzu, I still feel it building and I am awake. Some might not hit as bad as they where but there is no way that I can close my eyes.
Try the kudzu hun. It might help take the edge off.
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The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. - Carl Rogers
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TomM
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Re: I Broke Easter Morning
« Reply #3 on: Mar 28th, 2005, 11:28am » |
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on Mar 28th, 2005, 8:41am, PrettyH8Machine wrote:| It only takes a short period of time to forget the pain, but it takes only an instant with a CH to remember. |
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Very insightful.
TomM
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cootie
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Re: I Broke Easter Morning
« Reply #4 on: Mar 28th, 2005, 11:40am » |
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I believe yer talkin but fight or flight syndrone as far as the manic shit......(they call it panic attacks too but am talkin bout overall feelings).......kind of like a corner'd wild animal......you know somethin is gonna happen....but when and how bad can cause INTENSE mania cuz there's an enemy out there "you" can't see or reason with. Prey'd upon Pam
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| « Last Edit: Mar 28th, 2005, 11:42am by cootie » |
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Sean_C
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Re: I Broke Easter Morning
« Reply #5 on: Mar 28th, 2005, 11:49am » |
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on Mar 28th, 2005, 11:40am, cootie wrote:| I believe yer talkin but fight or flight syndrone as far as the manic shit......(they call it panic attacks too but am talkin bout overall feelings).......kind of like a corner'd wild animal......you know somethin is gonna happen....but when and how bad can cause INTENSE mania cuz there's an enemy out there "you" can't see or reason with. Prey'd upon Pam |
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Exactly  Nice post Coots
Sean.............................
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PrettyH8Machine
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Re: I Broke Easter Morning
« Reply #6 on: Mar 28th, 2005, 11:31pm » |
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I think you nailed it Cootie. The last month or more I have been on top of the world. Now the symphony of pain begins again and the sound is maddening; frightening and fucking maddening. I guess this is what it is like to look in the mirror while you are on fire - it just makes you panic even more.
CD
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sandie99
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Re: I Broke Easter Morning
« Reply #7 on: Mar 28th, 2005, 11:36pm » |
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on Mar 28th, 2005, 8:41am, PrettyH8Machine wrote:| It only takes a short period of time to forget the pain, but it takes only an instant with a CH to remember. |
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After a PF day I nearly forget the pain, too. That's how the mind works, I suppose...
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"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
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