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Topic: TGIF: Funnies (Read 175 times) |
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PrettyH8Machine
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OK, we all know that 666 is the number of the Beast, but did you know that...
670 - Approximate number of the Beast
DCLXVI - Roman numeral of the Beast
666.0000000 - Number of the High Precision Beast
665.9999954 - Number of the Pentium Beast
0.666 - Number of the Millibeast
/666 - Beast Common Denominator
666 x sq. rt (-1) - Imaginary number of the Beast
1010011010 - Binary of the Beast 6
1-666 - Area code of the Beast
00666 - Zip code of the Beast
1-900-666-0666 - Live Beasts! One-on-one pacts! Call Now! Only $6.66/minute.
Over 18 only please.
$665.95 - Retail price of the Beast
$699.25 - Price of the Beast plus 5% state sales tax
$769.95 - Price of the Beast with all accessories and replacement soul
$606.66 - Wal-Mart price of the Beast
$566.66 - Costco/Price Club price of the Beast
Phillips 666 - Gasoline of the Beast
Route 666 - Way of the Beast
666 F - Oven temperature for roast Beast
666k - Retirement plan of the Beast
666 mg - Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast
6.66 % - 5 year CD interest rate at First Beast of Hell National Bank, $666 -minimum deposit.
Lotus 6-6-6 - Spreadsheet of the Beast
Word 6.66 - Word Processor of the Beast
i66686 - CPU of the Beast
666i - BMW of the Beast
DSM-666 (revised) - Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the Beast
668 - Neighbor of the Beast
- Number of the Blonde Beast
uh... what was that number again?
Things You DON’T Want to Hear During Surgery:
- Oops!
- Has anyone seen my watch?
- That was some party last night I
can't remember when I've been that
drunk.
- Damn! Page 47 of the manual is
missing!
- Well this book doesn't say that...
What edition is your manual?
- OK, now take a picture from this
angle. This is truly a freak of
nature.
- Better save that. We'll need it for
the autopsy.
- Come back with that! Bad Dog!
- Wait a minute, if this is his spleen,
then what's that?
- Hand me that...uh...that
uh.....thingie
- If I can just remember how they did
this on ER last week.
- Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml
of this stuff before?
- Damn, there go the lights again...
- Ya know, there's big money in
kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two
of 'em.
- Everybody stand back! I lost my
contact lens!
- Could you stop that thing from
beating; it's throwing my
concentration off.
- I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses.
- Well folks, this will be an
experiment for all of us.
- Steril, shcmeril. The floor's clean,
right?
- What do you mean he wasn't in for a
sex change!
- What do you mean, he's not insured?
- This patient has already had some
kids, am I correct?
- Nurse, did this patient sign the
organ donation card?
- Don't worry. I think it is sharp
enough.
- What do you mean "You want a divorce"!
- I don't know what it is, but hurry up
and pack it in ice.
- Let's hurry, I don't want to
miss "Bay Watch"
- That laughing gas stuff is pretty
cool. Can I have some more of that?
- Hey Charlie, unzip the bag on that
one, he's still moving.
- Did the doctor know he would look
like that afterwards?
- Of course I've performed this
operation before, Nurse!
- FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
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nani
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Got kudzu?
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Posts: 7953
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Re: TGIF: Funnies
« Reply #1 on: Feb 11th, 2005, 1:16pm » |
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 I love these Friday funnies. Thanks, Carl
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Others may come and go, but MY power is MINE.
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Langa
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
So many donuts, such little time...
Gender:
Posts: 4179
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Re: TGIF: Funnies
« Reply #2 on: Feb 11th, 2005, 1:20pm » |
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Yes, thanks Carl...I look forward to these...
Langa
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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sandie99
New Board Hall of Famer
Wish it, dream it, do it - inspite the pain!
Gender:
Posts: 10429
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Re: TGIF: Funnies
« Reply #3 on: Feb 11th, 2005, 1:20pm » |
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Thank goodness I'm not going to have any operation soon... 
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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PrettyH8Machine
Guest
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Beavis Starts a New Business!
Now THIS Just Doesn't Look Right At All!!!
Stormtroopers on 15 minute break.
Happy Weekend Y'all
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nani
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Got kudzu?
Gender:
Posts: 7953
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Re: TGIF: Funnies
« Reply #5 on: Feb 11th, 2005, 1:39pm » |
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Others may come and go, but MY power is MINE.
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nani
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Got kudzu?
Gender:
Posts: 7953
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Re: TGIF: Funnies
« Reply #6 on: Feb 11th, 2005, 1:41pm » |
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Others may come and go, but MY power is MINE.
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Langa
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
So many donuts, such little time...
Gender:
Posts: 4179
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Re: TGIF: Funnies
« Reply #7 on: Feb 11th, 2005, 2:14pm » |
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Nani I loved the fluffy bird one...
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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BlueMeanie
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Gender: 
Posts: 1178
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Re: TGIF: Funnies
« Reply #8 on: Feb 11th, 2005, 3:41pm » |
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LeLimey
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
OUCH-US - Less "ME" and more "WE"
 
Gender:
Posts: 11720
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Re: TGIF: Funnies
« Reply #9 on: Feb 11th, 2005, 5:17pm » |
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My favourite thing to NOT hear during surgery...
Accept this sacrifice oh Great Lord of Darkness"
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Jeepgun
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
BOHICA!!!
Gender:
Posts: 3840
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Re: TGIF: Funnies
« Reply #10 on: Feb 11th, 2005, 11:11pm » |
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Street address: 668, the neighbor of the Beast.
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Her: "Have you ever hit a deer?"
Me: "What, like, in the FACE?"
Her: ..... "WHAT is the MATTER with you!?"
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AussieBrian
New Board Hall of Famer
Got beer?
Gender:
Posts: 1695
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Re: TGIF: Funnies
« Reply #11 on: Feb 11th, 2005, 11:50pm » |
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Things not to hear during surgery -
"Damn, I really thought this cluster was finished!"
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Vulcrania horrendus - twice daily, then two at night in lieu of sleep.
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