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Dave_Emond
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The Road is Long ...
« on: Feb 9th, 2005, 3:15am » |
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My Friends,
It has been quite some time since I last have been able to talk to anyone about events this new year has brought. I apologize that I have not been able to talk to many of you my very close and dear extended family; my mind is slow to converse with much intelligence as I am in constant pain both physically and mentally.
As I sit here now trying to write to you, my body is covered in sweat, my fingers have trouble finding the keys as I struggle to get this message out to all of you. Aside from tears of almost constant Cluster pain and failing eyesight, they are also tears of emotional distress. My body is still failing with no good news yet as to my future. As we hope and pray for possible recovery, Annette is my eyes, ears and voice and will have to keep us in touch when she can. She carries a great weight now holding me up through all that is going on these days, so she too has many burdens and may be slow to try to keep up with all the letters and messages here and within our immediate family.
I’m currently in my “inner cycle” that hits so much harder each year although I am chronic with CH. My immune system is still failing and the doctors still feel ALS lies beneath that. With that in mind, that news may be the least of the tragedies that have hit us this year.
Many of you already know my father has been confirmed with ALS and barley surviving as it takes its toll and is barely recognizable as the man I knew.
My mother has now been in ICU for almost 3 weeks because of a botched normally simple surgery. She has been on a ventilator tube all this time, far beyond standard time periods and will most likely have a trachea tube inserted in a couple days with the hope she can breathe on her own. It appears she still does not know where she is or why and I can only pull myself up out of my wheelchair, hold her hand, pray and try to let her know we are all here.
Most sadly, this is not the true case though. My youngest brother, Todd who suffered from severe anxiety disorders lived with my mother over the last year and a half. We needed paperwork to try to find some way to find financial help for my mothers care. Using a “code” ring to call Todd to let him know Mom would not be home for some time, he answered and said okay. Further calls went unanswered, and out of worry we had an uncle go check on him. Todd had taken his life in an instant with a 20 gage shotgun. Annette and I had to make the trip back up there to fulfill the necessary duties that could not be avoided. As Annette got all the paperwork and packed my mothers things in the living room of this very tiny apartment, I spent a day and a half emptying Todd’s room and scrubbing up what could be saved and needed as they had little even for one person and should my mother survive, this will be the only furniture available for her. (Annette and I had to sell most everything we had when I got ill and we put our house up for sale and moved to this small apartment.)
Mom does not know yet of Todd, whom she spent the last 27 years caring for him. If all is successful to get my mother off all the tubes and sedation, we face having to tell her. This could possibly happen by the end of the week. Right now we have medical attorney over her treatment, but once she becomes competent by the doctors reviews, the future is up to her. After promising her a simple hysterectomy to stop Uterus Cancer, the doctors went to explore for further possible cancer sites. In doing so they accidentally cut her main artery and vein to her leg, causing the flight for life here to Denver and her current condition. Here they have found that there is further cancer, but they cannot operate until she recovers for some time. She did not trust doctors before and will most likely refuse any further medical help, especially with the emotional blow at the loss of Todd.
Our minds are overloaded and our strength is drained. We are doing all we can to hang on, but it could be some time before we even see a glimpse of normalcy in our lives.
Todd should now have found that peace he never could in life, I only ask for prayers that my mother can find peace in life rather than death. I expect that can only be possible if prayers for her spirit and mind to carry on. Please pray with us for my mother (Eileen) and the rest of us to find wisdom and courage from these past weeks and the future.
Love to you all and thanks for letting me get some of this off my chest.
God Bless,
Dave
(Although it took me over 3 hours to write to you all, I finally managed it, now I'll just need to go bury my head and try not to think of anything at all for a while if at all possible.)
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sandie99
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Re: The Road is Long ...
« Reply #1 on: Feb 9th, 2005, 3:19am » |
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Prayers for all of you.... 
Don't worry about writing to us... we'll understand. Having CH is bad enogh and all that extra stress... 
I wish you nothing but the best.
Wishes,
Sandie
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Woobie
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Re: The Road is Long ...
« Reply #2 on: Feb 9th, 2005, 3:28am » |
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Dave -
I dont even know what to say. I will be praying for strength for you and Annette.
Tina
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The mad viking
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Re: The Road is Long ...
« Reply #3 on: Feb 9th, 2005, 3:44am » |
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Dave -
I dont even know what to say. I will be praying for strength for you and Annette.
Svenn&Bente
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Always Look on The Bright Side of Life
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Gator
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Re: The Road is Long ...
« Reply #4 on: Feb 9th, 2005, 3:49am » |
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I can't even imagine how you feel. Know that you have my deepest sympathies for the loss of your brother and my prayers for you, Annette and your mother.
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LeLimey
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Re: The Road is Long ...
« Reply #5 on: Feb 9th, 2005, 5:57am » |
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Thinking of you all and praying for you and your family too.
With much sympathy
Helen
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Re: The Road is Long ...
« Reply #6 on: Feb 9th, 2005, 7:04am » |
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Love, and renewed strength to you all, Dave.
-Frank
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Melissa
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Oh Dave, I feel such sadness for you hon. It's hearing these times in your life where words just seem to fail me.
If I could be there with strength, I would...
love,
mel
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clarence
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Re: The Road is Long ...
« Reply #8 on: Feb 9th, 2005, 7:48am » |
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There are no words...
I will pray for you.
Casey
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vig
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Re: The Road is Long ...
« Reply #9 on: Feb 9th, 2005, 7:49am » |
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Redd
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Re: The Road is Long ...
« Reply #10 on: Feb 9th, 2005, 8:02am » |
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Oh how my heart aches for the both of you. Please know you are in my thoughts.
Hugs to you and your family at this difficult time.
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Kevin_M
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Re: The Road is Long ...
« Reply #11 on: Feb 9th, 2005, 8:27am » |
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Dave.....
Thoughts with you
Kevin M
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MOMO3
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Re: The Road is Long ...
« Reply #12 on: Feb 9th, 2005, 8:53am » |
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Prayers for peace and strength.
Michelle
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Langa
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Re: The Road is Long ...
« Reply #13 on: Feb 9th, 2005, 8:56am » |
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I'm so sorry about everything you're going through.
Hang in there, be strong, and don't lose hope for better days ahead for you and your family.
You'll be in my prayers,
Langa
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JDH
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Re: The Road is Long ...
« Reply #14 on: Feb 9th, 2005, 9:04am » |
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Dave,
You and your family are in our thoughts.
Jim
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nani
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Re: The Road is Long ...
« Reply #15 on: Feb 9th, 2005, 9:04am » |
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God bless you and your family.
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cat14
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My heart goes out to you, I can just feel your pain. Just hang on my friend and we will all pray for the best
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| « Last Edit: Feb 9th, 2005, 9:59am by cat14 » |
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Margi
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Re: The Road is Long ...
« Reply #17 on: Feb 9th, 2005, 9:56am » |
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Oh, Dave - I am so sorry to hear the challenges your family has faced. Our condolences in the loss of your brother, Todd. Suicide never makes any sense to those left behind. I, too, pray that he has found pain freedom now. Kind of makes you wonder how much one family can take, doesn't it? Your faith is strong, though Dave - you WILL find a way to get through this. You've got the key to the Kindgom, remember! 
I so enjoyed seeing Annette, her daughter and her grandbaby last fall for lunch. Please thank her again for me and tell her that I'm only a phone call away if she needs anything, ok?
hugs and love to you both,
Margi & Mike
p.s. time to light a candle again for the Emonds.
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Jimi
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Re: The Road is Long ...
« Reply #18 on: Feb 9th, 2005, 10:09am » |
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No Words........................
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PrettyH8Machine
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Re: The Road is Long ...
« Reply #20 on: Feb 9th, 2005, 10:13am » |
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AlienSpaceBabe
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Re: The Road is Long ...
« Reply #21 on: Feb 9th, 2005, 10:16am » |
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love and hugs going out to you and your family
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Peppermint
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Re: The Road is Long ...
« Reply #22 on: Feb 9th, 2005, 10:39am » |
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Dear Dave,
My deepest condolences to you and your family on the loss of your brother, may his soul find the peace and rest he couldn't find in his earthly life.
Thoughts and prayers from me and my family go out to you and your family to through these days of crisis and to alleviate your physical, emotional and spiritual pain, that the Lord lifts these trials from you, and give you the strength and wisdom to get through these times.
I admire your strengh and fighting spirit in writing this post; one could only wish to have an ounce of that strength!
I'm sure you've heard this before, but if there is anything to be offered to you, please, let it be known.
Pep
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BobG
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Re: The Road is Long ...
« Reply #23 on: Feb 9th, 2005, 11:43am » |
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Dave, we've known each other for many years now. I remember well the late night messages we sent when we were the only ones up that time of night.
I remember meeting you and Annette in Vegas. She was your new bride then. It was a great time.
Our prayers and thoughts are being sent you and Annette for your recovery. Prayers and hopes go to your mother. And may God accept Todd into his kingdom.
BobG
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Woobie
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Re: The Road is Long ...
« Reply #24 on: Feb 9th, 2005, 11:44am » |
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Margi and Pepper always know what to say........
lighting the candle ...............
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| « Last Edit: Feb 9th, 2005, 11:45am by Woobie » |
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