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Lizzie2
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How to approach this...
« on: Feb 2nd, 2005, 7:11pm » |
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For those of you who read about my ER experience last week from the med I was trying out for chronic daily migraine and chronic clusters, maybe you can give some input.
The reaction I had in the ER was a very bad one...as in, not knowing who I was, where I was, who my family was, what was going on, etc. I had called in twice about bad side effects, and I had actually seen the nurse practitioner the day after the first bad reaction (wasn't as bad as the BIG one in the ER), and all those times, my doc said just keep sticking with it and wait for the side effects to lessen over time. When I called the day before the ER trip, he told me to come in the next day and get a prescription for an EKG...but no emergencies...no need to stop it now or go to the ER to get checked out, even though I felt like total crap.
Well the ER resident that I saw before I left that morning told me that sometimes doctors will push their limits with a med like mexiletine when the patient works in health care because they know the patient knows what signs to watch out for as danger signals. If this is the case, then I feel they really dropped the ball on LISTENING to the person who works in health care. I don't freak out over the little shit because I work in nursing...so why didn't they pick up on the MAJOR problems when I tried to contact them 3 times before landing in the ER in an incoherent state?
My doc doesn't respond very well when I try to bring up issues like this. Usually he says anything he can to get the blame off of him. This is a case where a lawsuit could be invoked, but I'm not going to do that...and obviously he fears it enough not to want to accept blame. But I would be far less angry and depressed (and less likely to sue...) if the man would just say, "I'm SORRY for not listening and letting it go that far."
Do any of you have a good, peacekeeping way for me to bring this up with my neuro? In a way where he will address it, but he doesn't have to feel like a jackass (even though...in this case...well, you know...) And this way, I'll get my concerns out and hopefully he won't get pissed off at me. (He does get pissed off every other time I bring up a concern, but I really feel this needs to be addressed.)
Sorry for the length!
Any ideas??
Hugz,
Carrie/Lizzie2 
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Jonny
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Re: How to approach this...
« Reply #1 on: Feb 2nd, 2005, 7:27pm » |
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on Feb 2nd, 2005, 7:11pm, Lizzie2 wrote:| This is a case where a lawsuit could be invoked, but I'm not going to do that...and obviously he fears it enough not to want to accept blame. |
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Make him fear! and you will get anything you want, kid.
he gave it to you...hes to blame....FEAR his ass 
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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purpleydog
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Re: How to approach this...
« Reply #2 on: Feb 2nd, 2005, 8:01pm » |
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on Feb 2nd, 2005, 7:11pm, Lizzie2 wrote:t I feel they really dropped the ball on LISTENING to the person who works in health care.
My doc doesn't respond very well when I try to bring up issues like this.
And this way, I'll get my concerns out and hopefully he won't get pissed off at me. (He does get pissed off every other time I bring up a concern, but I really feel this needs to be addressed.)
Carrie/Lizzie2 |
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You know, if it was me, I would seriously consider getting a different neuro. For a doctor who didn't listen when you called them twice about the bad side effects you were having, he didn't seem concerned too much. What if you had been permanently screwed up? Or dead? And he shouldn't be getting pissed off everytime you bring up a concern. He should address your concerns one at a time, and explain everything to you. If he doesn't want to take the time to do that, then screw him. I would make him stay until he discussed each one to MY satisfaction. You are the patient, not him.
I wouldn't worry too much about how to bring this up to him. Aren't you a little bit pissed? Just tell him how you feel. Let him know you feel he is blowing you off. Or dismissing you. Tell him what you want, then get another doc. Personally, I couldn't stay with a doc like that.
This guy sounds dangerous, Carrie. Be careful.
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Lizzie2
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Re: How to approach this...
« Reply #3 on: Feb 2nd, 2005, 8:01pm » |
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on Feb 2nd, 2005, 7:27pm, Jonny wrote:
Make him fear! and you will get anything you want, kid.
he gave it to you...hes to blame....FEAR his ass
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It's definitely an approach that I've been considering!! I've been screwed over several times as a PATIENT since coming to Jefferson as a student and employee. I once wrote a 2.5 page letter regarding an ER/neuro situation prior to Thanksgiving that gave both the positive points of my visit and the completely horrifying mistakes that were made. I wasn't allowed to send it (by my parents...yeah, I still listen to them!) because I'm an employee and a student and I have a scholarship there. My parents and aunt who used to be a big wig in UPMC's health system told me that if I sent the letter, I would have a huge red X placed on my back for eternity from the employment standpoint.
But employment aside, this crap can't keep happening. It won't make any difference if I have a red X if I'm dead! I really don't feel like f-ing around with this stuff.
We'll see how much guts I have next week. Want to lend me your boot? 
-kid
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Lizzie2
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Re: How to approach this...
« Reply #4 on: Feb 2nd, 2005, 8:07pm » |
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on Feb 2nd, 2005, 8:01pm, purpleydog wrote:
You know, if it was me, I would seriously consider getting a different neuro. For a doctor who didn't listen when you called them twice about the bad side effects you were having, he didn't seem concerned too much. What if you had been permanently screwed up? Or dead? And he shouldn't be getting pissed off everytime you bring up a concern. He should address your concerns one at a time, and explain everything to you. If he doesn't want to take the time to do that, then screw him. I would make him stay until he discussed each one to MY satisfaction. You are the patient, not him.
I wouldn't worry too much about how to bring this up to him. Aren't you a little bit pissed? Just tell him how you feel. Let him know you feel he is blowing you off. Or dismissing you. Tell him what you want, then get another doc. Personally, I couldn't stay with a doc like that.
This guy sounds dangerous, Carrie. Be careful.
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Yes I think approximately 500 people (at least!) have told me to leave him and find a new neuro before I get killed. It does really make perfect sense considering what I've been through this year.
OTOH, I called the office manager of the headache center actually while I was in the hospital. I had brought up an issue with my neuro, the resident, and the graduate nurse taking care of me that day, and my neuro acted completely belligerant towards me and the staff taking care of me on the floor. I was very angry.
The office manager told me that it is against policy to change neuros. I would have to actually confront my neuro to his face and ask him to give my case to one of the other neuros in the office. Fun, huh? Put all the crap on the patient, that's nice...
As far as finding a new neuro not at Jeff...it isn't really an option. Without the inpatient facilities at UMDNJ or NECH, and also the distance of traveling (plus, I lack a car in the city...) I'm kinda stuck here. Actually no other major hospitals in Philly have certified headache specialists. I could go to a general neuro, but I've been down this road before...
Even my own family doc refuses to treat me if I left my neuro and just asked him to write scripts for what works. (Well, nothing has really "worked" yet!)
So I tried really hard to find a way to change docs. That didn't work. So now, I have to either "fix" the relationship with my current neuro, or just bite the bullet and jump around general neuros until I find one that "fits."
<sigh>
Oh well!!! Thanks for the input... I appreciate it. I just hate having to think and work all this junk out.
Carrie
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Jonny
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Re: How to approach this...
« Reply #5 on: Feb 2nd, 2005, 8:10pm » |
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on Feb 2nd, 2005, 8:01pm, Lizzie2 wrote:We'll see how much guts I have next week. Want to lend me your boot?
-kid |
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It is up to YOU to educate yourself and then help your doctor plan your treatment. If you just sit down in front of your doctor and say "make me better" you are setting yourself up for a great deal of pain.
- Guiseppi
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Lizzie2
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Re: How to approach this...
« Reply #6 on: Feb 2nd, 2005, 8:20pm » |
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T'anx!!
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magman
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Re: How to approach this...
« Reply #7 on: Feb 2nd, 2005, 8:22pm » |
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Prepare a package prior to next weeks visit to your Neuro. Make it the first agenda for you appointment and present to him the following:
Gather ANY documents, notes, copies of RX or test orders/results. Add to those highlights/quotes of conversations with hospital staff.
Draft a letter to the Neuro and address it also to the Jefferson Internal Review Board, State Review Board, the AMA and any other Associations your Neuro belongs to.
Let the Neuro know in no uncertain terms you intend to forward this entire package to all those addressed unless he becomes totally cooperative.
Getting these other organizations involved should go a long way to preventing any 'black mark' on your employment opportunities.
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Kris_in_SJ
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Re: How to approach this...
« Reply #8 on: Feb 2nd, 2005, 8:43pm » |
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Oh Lizzie!
It's a bad situation - probably one of the worse possible for a nurse or nursing student.
You could do all the above, but at the same time you'd probably be committing what's commonly called "professional suicide."
I think maybe you need to approach it like ... "I know you were trying what you thought was best. I appreciate that. But, I nearly died (lost my my mind), etc." "Please, please, can we work together on this? I'm willing to experiment, but I also need you to listen to me if things don't feel right."
Your only other option the way I see it, is to do the "neuro hop." Not being very helpful, am I?
Kris
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PrettyH8Machine
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Re: How to approach this...
« Reply #9 on: Feb 3rd, 2005, 6:44am » |
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I would take Magman's suggestion and if no satisfaction after that - NEW NEURO!
Peace,
CD
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don
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Re: How to approach this...
« Reply #10 on: Feb 3rd, 2005, 6:48am » |
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I wonder what your Doc's relationship is with his drug rep.
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lionsound
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Re: How to approach this...
« Reply #11 on: Feb 3rd, 2005, 9:08am » |
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Hi Carrie,
I think you’re getting the hint about finding a new neuro. I hope so. You deserve to be treated better. And I know you said you couldn’t do NECH or something like that…. but maybe if you did you wouldn’t need the inpatient, or something could be worked out near where you are.
Here’s what I’d do with current Dr. Schmucko (as you may have to put up with him for a while even if you do switch docs). Bring someone else with you to the appointment. Write down what you want to say…you can rightfully say how you feel. I like what you said in your post. It’s speaks right to what’s going on. You can be diplomatic if you want by saying….."I understand this is uncomfortable for you, Dr. Schmucko, but I have not gotten the quality care I deserve and that I expect from you and this office. We need to be able to work together and this is how we are going to do that…this is what I need….” I’m sure that you have a very good way of articulating your healthcare needs...being the stellar nurse-type you are.
Oh and before you start instruct him and say, “I have something important I want to say and I am going to say it. You are not going to say anything until I am all done. I will let you know when that is so you can speak.” Or something like that. You can put a please in there if you want.
I have many friends that are doctors and they agree with speaking my mind in a docs office and getting good care. If we don’t hold them accountable, who will? They are human beings just like us…. and they need to remember that we are human too.
Good Luck!
Please let us know what happens.
-lionsound
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sandie99
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Re: How to approach this...
« Reply #12 on: Feb 4th, 2005, 1:52am » |
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I had a neuro like that when I was in UK. I explained my situation to him calmly and peacefully and what do you know, he actually LISTENED me like I'm a person!
I hope you'll find a way, though. I have met so many docs that it starts to bug me! You know, tell the same stories and explain each med I have tried over and over again... 
Best wishes & Pfdays,
Sandie
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