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Topic: soon to be single clusterhead (Read 859 times) |
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cschick
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I have been asked for a divorce. It's over. It's been a long time in coming and as fucked up as it sounds, I am kind of relieved. I will be contacting a lawyer in the next few weeks to get the ball rolling. We will have to do parenting classes and all that jazz, but I truly believe we will be better parents apart than together. Last night was the straw that broke the camel's back. There has been A LOT of things going on that I haven't talked about here and I won't bore everyone with those details now. We agreed that we will still live here together until Colin gets done with the school year, we aren't telling him until after school is done. My parents are moving back here from Florida in the next 2 months and we have spent the day on the phone talking and we (me and Colin) are going to be living with them. Going to be 30 and living with my parents with my child. ugh. Didn't see this coming when I was 20. My parents and I get along very, very well so I think it will be ok. Well, I'm going to bed now, been up since 4:30, cried all day and well, I'm quite frankly pooped out.
 Karen
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Woobie
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Re: soon to be single clusterhead
« Reply #1 on: Jan 23rd, 2005, 9:45pm » |
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sorry........
dont know what to say - just sorry 
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MOMO3
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Re: soon to be single clusterhead
« Reply #2 on: Jan 23rd, 2005, 9:47pm » |
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Karen so sorry to hear this. Must be terribly difficult for you. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and Colin as you go through this difficult time. Try to get some rest, sounds like you need it.
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Sylvan
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Re: soon to be single clusterhead
« Reply #3 on: Jan 23rd, 2005, 9:53pm » |
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Karen:
Let yourself hurt - it takes time to relearn who YOU are.
But most important right now - no matter how much it hurts - take control of the situation. Protect your assets. Divorce can get very nasty and no matter what - you have to make sure that you not only get a good lawyer who will look out for your best intrests - you need to start immediately.
If last nights little fiasco was any indication of what kind of marriage you are in - i will not say i'm sorry. I will say welcome to the first day of the best years of your life.
Learn to like you again. Realize that you do not need someone who has so little regard for you. Know that you have the stregth to not only get through this - but to flourish.
{{ Hugs }}
Now get some sleep
Anne
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K-9
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Re: soon to be single clusterhead
« Reply #4 on: Jan 23rd, 2005, 10:11pm » |
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Very sorry.  As said before though, from the looks of your other thread this is a positive step in the right direction. Difficult time but you'll get through it. Hang in there.
Chuck
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Redneck
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Re: soon to be single clusterhead
« Reply #5 on: Jan 23rd, 2005, 10:13pm » |
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I wish I had wonderful words to make things better. But I can't even get my own life straight . Just always remember you have friends who care. Who will listen. And in my short time here, a cluster family that will help in any way possible.
So a short redneck sends you hugs. Rest, take care of yourself.
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Biker
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Re: soon to be single clusterhead
« Reply #6 on: Jan 23rd, 2005, 11:45pm » |
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I got the same proposition this weekend. Hang in there. Your young, and in time, will adjust.
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..Danielle..
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Re: soon to be single clusterhead
« Reply #7 on: Jan 24th, 2005, 12:16am » |
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So sad for you, hugs, vibes, prayers .. on their way
Danielle
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Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. -Helen Keller
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Gator
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Re: soon to be single clusterhead
« Reply #8 on: Jan 24th, 2005, 3:15am » |
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Sorry to see a family break up, but staying together for the sake of a child does no one any good, least of all the child. As a policeman, I responded to some bad situations that got totally out of hand trying to do that.
Between you and the spouse, definitely look out for number one, first. A good lawyer will tell you how to protect your assets, your credit rating if you have one and your parental rights.
I've done the divorce thing. I know it hurts, even if it is the right thing to do. You have family and friends that will listen any time you need to talk. That's what we are here for.
Peace be with you,
Mike
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LeLimey
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Re: soon to be single clusterhead
« Reply #9 on: Jan 24th, 2005, 6:09am » |
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Oh Karen, I wish I was nearer. I'm glad you have the knowledge now at least of whats happening from her eon in but I so wish I could make it better.
All of us here love you LOTS!
Helen
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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PrettyH8Machine
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Re: soon to be single clusterhead
« Reply #10 on: Jan 24th, 2005, 6:17am » |
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Jeepgun
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Re: soon to be single clusterhead
« Reply #11 on: Jan 24th, 2005, 7:38am » |
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Karen, I am so sorry....
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Opus
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Re: soon to be single clusterhead
« Reply #12 on: Jan 24th, 2005, 8:00am » |
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My wife went and got separation papers because I was going to DavCon. When I decided not to go I told her she should turn them in anyway. Doesn't make much sense to try and stop me from going when that may have been the only way I could have recovered enough to stay with her.
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Lobster
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Re: soon to be single clusterhead
« Reply #13 on: Jan 24th, 2005, 8:37am » |
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What Gator set.
Begin inventory of financial assets NOW.
Get your lawyer TODAY.
Key assets include his 401K, stock purchase plan and any other work-based retirement savings accounts.
Take the last account statement for EVERY financial asset to your atty TODAY.
Take a camera and walk around the house. Take a pic of EVERY room, EVERY closet, EVERY tool.
Pay the $$$ to have a fraud watch put on yourself... at all three reporting agencies. They will need to call you to confirm anytime new credit is being issued with yourself listed as a party.
While you are still married, it is entirely within his right to liquidate assets and mysteriously lose the funds 'gambling' or such, without ever telling you. He can take a 2nd mortgage on the house, take out loans on your already-paid-off cars, max out new credit cards, etc.
The safest way to not get fucked is to play the game as though screwing you were his intention.
Get your ATTY today. It is easy peasy, and will give you the upper hand from day 1.
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Rock beats Scissors.
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Jeepgun
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Re: soon to be single clusterhead
« Reply #14 on: Jan 24th, 2005, 9:14am » |
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Good advice, Wrokk.
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sandie99
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Re: soon to be single clusterhead
« Reply #15 on: Jan 24th, 2005, 9:15am » |
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I'm so sorry, Karen....
I wish you & your son the best... These situations are never easy.
Sandie
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Ruth
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Re: soon to be single clusterhead
« Reply #16 on: Jan 24th, 2005, 9:39am » |
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Karen,
sending you hugs and support, the suns going to shine again in your life, just be patient and thankful that you have friends here and your parents to help you through this.
Ruth
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cat14
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Re: soon to be single clusterhead
« Reply #17 on: Jan 24th, 2005, 9:50am » |
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Karen,
My heart goes out to you. You will go through some very emotional times for while, so hang on and we are here to listen and help if we can. But having said that do what "ROCK" says!!!!!! Question? Why are you moving out? Your son shouldn't have to leave his home!
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cschick
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Re: soon to be single clusterhead
« Reply #18 on: Jan 24th, 2005, 11:12am » |
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Thanks everyone - I am contacting a lawyer when I go to lunch today. Could this have come at a worse time? I just started school last week. bleech. oh well. It's never going to be a "good time" I suppose.
I am leaving in the early summer because I flat can't afford to live there alone. It is too much money. I am going to have a hard enough time making it on my own without have a huge monthly payment. He makes about 3x as much as I do so he will be able to afford it just fine on his own. So Colin will still have his "home" but we are going to make a home of our own, too. I have to let go of the past and move on.
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LeLimey
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Re: soon to be single clusterhead
« Reply #19 on: Jan 24th, 2005, 11:29am » |
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Its good that you can move into somewhere new and make your own memories! Find the positive things to concentrate on honeybun and let us know how you get on with the solicitor!
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Lobster
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Re: soon to be single clusterhead
« Reply #20 on: Jan 24th, 2005, 12:09pm » |
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Actually, since he is the one with the higher income, legal doctrine dictates that HE be the one to move out, as he can better afford to replicate his current lifestyle in a new home.
Yep... the law works in strange ways.
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Rock beats Scissors.
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headoftheclass05
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live your lkife like its golden -
« Reply #21 on: Jan 24th, 2005, 12:54pm » |
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Karen (i hope i can offer you some advice on this and i don't affend you ) STAY strong I DON'T know you but my parents went a divorce when i was a pre-teen and trust the best thing you could do know is stay strong and build yourself up and love yourself and your son more. Also seek out
God find him and he will lead you to the life you envisioned! it might be harder now but DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP ..... grieve yes and start the healing process now do some of love to do and spend lots of time with your child just being a great mom and know that trusting someone else with your heart isn't wrong and that even on your craziest hair day girl your bueatiful. Pray for guidence and resolution Don't think your family is breaking up !You are starting a whole new family where you are free to do what you want with new traditions don't give up anything you want to make this go smoother fight for everything you new life needs. [color=Red]Freedom is power and you need to make sure you go to the best lawyer in town and get everything set up for your son becuase sometime men are well  and you need to do what best for the new family your starting today. Don't let him see you cry, but when you need to let it make you stronger, do something just for you like take early mourning yoga class or read an investment book and plan a creative small outing for you and your son reasure your self that no one person can take away how much love you have in your heart. i know this is the hardest thing you may have every done but just like you may have labored to have colin you have go through another labor of love now you get remake your self into the love of your life
A qoutes. [/color]
No one has looked back sadly on a life full of experiences, but many look back wishing they had the courage to do more.
-- Anonymous
my prayers are with you -hotc05
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Kirk
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Re: soon to be single clusterhead
« Reply #22 on: Jan 24th, 2005, 1:31pm » |
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Do what Wrock said ASAP. Be kind to yourself. Hug the midget. We'll be around with love etc.
TTFN
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don
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Re: soon to be single clusterhead
« Reply #23 on: Jan 24th, 2005, 1:38pm » |
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OK Rock.
Quote:| Key assets include his 401K, stock purchase plan and any other work-based retirement savings accounts. |
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If my soon to be ex reads this I will hunt you down like a lame army mule.
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| « Last Edit: Jan 24th, 2005, 1:39pm by don » |
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cootie
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Re: soon to be single clusterhead
« Reply #24 on: Jan 24th, 2005, 1:39pm » |
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Better to end the fighting and stress then to continue knowing it ain't gonna work. All that hassle shit screw's up the kids emotionally (and yourself)...even if ya don't think they can hear ya or know what is goin on.....they can sense it. Best to move on now while young and yer lucky you can live with your parents and get along with them so well. That will take some of the financial burdon off yourself tryin to make it. Should be able to get decent child support also comein in......I think you will do ok. Sometimes good things happen out of the bad. When good goes wrong Pam
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