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Topic: How To Speak Woman (Read 372 times) |
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medic1852
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How To Speak Woman
« on: Jan 23rd, 2005, 9:51am » |
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Words Women Use
Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".
Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT! !
Loud Sigh
Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".
That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
Thanks
This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you. Do not question it, just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly.
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sandie99
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Re: How To Speak Woman
« Reply #1 on: Jan 23rd, 2005, 1:16pm » |
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And who said that men don't understand women? 
Fine. 
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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medic1852
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Re: How To Speak Woman
« Reply #2 on: Jan 23rd, 2005, 1:20pm » |
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Yes dear.....
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Jeepgun
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on Jan 23rd, 2005, 1:20pm, medic1852 wrote:
Spoken like a married man. LOL! Well played, Medic! 
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BarbaraD
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Hugs to ya
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Re: How To Speak Woman
« Reply #4 on: Jan 23rd, 2005, 3:24pm » |
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What don't kill ya, Makes ya stonger!
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Redd
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Re: How To Speak Woman
« Reply #5 on: Jan 23rd, 2005, 3:39pm » |
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on Jan 23rd, 2005, 1:51pm, Jeepgun wrote:
Spoken like a married man. LOL! Well played, Medic! |
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You would know Frank.... 
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Jeepgun
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Yes dear. LMAO!
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Redd
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Re: How To Speak Woman
« Reply #7 on: Jan 23rd, 2005, 3:46pm » |
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on Jan 23rd, 2005, 3:40pm, Jeepgun wrote:
Daymn you're easy Frank....
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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Jeepgun
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Shhhh...  
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medic1852
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Re: How To Speak Woman
« Reply #9 on: Jan 23rd, 2005, 3:55pm » |
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on Jan 23rd, 2005, 3:46pm, Redd715 wrote:
Daymn you're easy Frank....
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Better to be easy than cheap.....
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LeLimey
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Re: How To Speak Woman
« Reply #10 on: Jan 23rd, 2005, 4:39pm » |
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You forgot "No of COURSE I don't mind!!"
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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medic1852
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Re: How To Speak Woman
« Reply #11 on: Jan 23rd, 2005, 4:52pm » |
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Whatever you say dear.... 
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| « Last Edit: Jan 23rd, 2005, 4:55pm by medic1852 » |
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KingOfPain
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Re: How To Speak Woman
« Reply #12 on: Jan 23rd, 2005, 5:22pm » |
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How many men does it take to open a beer?
NONE!
The wench better have it open when she
brings it to you!
JUST KIDDING Ladies!
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Arrived August, 1999.
We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter.
- Denis Diderot
Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends. - Euripides
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don
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Your right hon , I'm wrong.
Game over.
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BobG
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Re: How To Speak Woman
« Reply #14 on: Jan 24th, 2005, 3:22am » |
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"I'm going to the Mall. Would you like to come along?"
Translated:
"Turn off the f*ckin' TV, put the tools down and get on a clean shirt.
YOU are going to the Maul with me.
YOU are going to shut up.
YOU are going to stand quietly, with the other husbands, holding my purse while I go up and down EVERY aisle in EVERY store.
After I'm through shopping, YOU will be taking me to lunch."
"You will be taking me to lunch" translates to:
We will be going to that new sissified, wimpy veggie salad bar. While we enjoy the rice cakes and tufu, YOU will keep your f*ckin' mouth shut while I'm on the cell phone whinning to my girl friend "I can't find a thing to wear".
Women! Gawd help us. Ya can't live with 'em and
ya can't live with 'em!
NO smiley face here.
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Tara Ann
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Re: How To Speak Woman
« Reply #15 on: Jan 24th, 2005, 3:30am » |
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My favorite to say......................................... and to all you cocky men I must say it now....
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http://www.myspace.com/taraann77
 
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Gator
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Re: How To Speak Woman
« Reply #16 on: Jan 24th, 2005, 3:37am » |
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If you say so, Love.
Editted to add: You got me rolling here, Bob!
Daddy always said, "Never trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die!"
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| « Last Edit: Jan 24th, 2005, 3:40am by Gator » |
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Langa
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Re: How To Speak Woman
« Reply #17 on: Jan 24th, 2005, 3:52am » |
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Quote:| Daddy always said, "Never trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die!" |
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Okay, I have to admit this did crack me up!
Langa
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cat14
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on Jan 24th, 2005, 3:30am, taraann wrote:My favorite to say......................................... and to all you cocky men I must say it now....
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I say this alot too!!!!
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