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Topic: Walkin in a winter wonderland.... (Read 792 times) |
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kimh
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Walkin in a winter wonderland....
« on: Jan 22nd, 2005, 6:55pm » |
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snow plows grind are ya listenin
in the land, wind is whisltin,
i curse the tv, cook the turkey,
why me, why me, whine me winterland
kids slop snow, discard their clothing
mom is pissed and chain smoking
she whistles threw nose while kids kick up snows,
why me, why me, whine me winterland
new york is white, so the hell what
no can drive, ya dirty schmatt,
the soup natzie quit,
and i'm a nit whit,
why me, why me, whine me winterland
need anything else, ya'll holler, kay 
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nani
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Re: Walkin in a winter wonderland....
« Reply #1 on: Jan 22nd, 2005, 7:03pm » |
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I definitely do not miss lots of snow.
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Others may come and go, but MY power is MINE.
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Redneck
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Re: Walkin in a winter wonderland....
« Reply #2 on: Jan 22nd, 2005, 7:04pm » |
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*tosses chocolate* 
and runs like hell
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don
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Re: Walkin in a winter wonderland....
« Reply #3 on: Jan 22nd, 2005, 7:12pm » |
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Quote:| need anything else, ya'll holler, kay |
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SHHHHH! Evwy one be vewy vewy quiet.
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kimh
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Re: Walkin in a winter wonderland....
« Reply #4 on: Jan 22nd, 2005, 7:19pm » |
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I heard that.
NO SOUP FOR YOU 
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kimh
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Re: Walkin in a winter wonderland....
« Reply #5 on: Jan 22nd, 2005, 7:29pm » |
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oops. sorry that was Mrs. Hormones.
really.
i love you and hope your doll has air. truly 
PS: that was Mrs "other hormone" LMAO.
hey you guys? It's going to stop snowing soon rite? LOL
Ya know.....it's times like these i'm relieved i did not move to wyoming. I'd hate to think what i could actually DO to a pair of Wranglers while under stress of wind and weather
At least in NY no one pays me much mind. I'm not actually considered "dangerous"..... 
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| « Last Edit: Jan 22nd, 2005, 7:32pm by kimh » |
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Kevin_M
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Re: Walkin in a winter wonderland....
« Reply #6 on: Jan 22nd, 2005, 7:30pm » |
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looked outside, snow's a driftin'
dressin' warm, for shovel liftin'
I'm clearing the snow
That's still gonna blow
Living in a winter wonderland.
Shoveled most, of the inches,
Cheeks are cold, don't be pinchin
But lookin' outside
In the house I will hide
Living in a winter wonderland.
Gotta go, more's a falling
Shovel more, it's apalling
Driving's gettin' too rough
Getting stuck in this stuff
Living in a winter fuknland
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Redd
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Re: Walkin in a winter wonderland....
« Reply #7 on: Jan 22nd, 2005, 7:42pm » |
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(You forgot the bridge folks....)
We'd rather be out drinking with the family
In the hotel atruin so far away
But the weather won't allow the folks to drive there
Stuck at home is where we we all will have to stay
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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kimh
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Re: Walkin in a winter wonderland....
« Reply #8 on: Jan 22nd, 2005, 7:45pm » |
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Thanks Red. I'm so depressed.
Fucking BRIDGE  WHERE IS THE FUCKING BRIIIIIIDGE
Woops. That was "Mrs. Hormones again  "
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Redd
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Re: Walkin in a winter wonderland....
« Reply #9 on: Jan 22nd, 2005, 7:46pm » |
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on Jan 22nd, 2005, 7:45pm, kimh wrote:Thanks Red. I'm so depressed.
Fucking BRIDGE WHERE IS THE FUCKING BRIIIIIIDGE
Woops. That was "Mrs. Hormones again "
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SHHHHhhhhhh I thought I wrote one... 
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I saw an act of faith today. A man was on his knees, not in a pew in a Church, but in a garden planting seeds. ~~Unknown
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E-Double
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Re: Walkin in a winter wonderland....
« Reply #10 on: Jan 22nd, 2005, 7:47pm » |
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Kim.....go sledding down that awesome hill!
Maybe we'll join ya tomorrow!
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I can't believe that I have to bang my
Head against this wall again
But the blows they have just a little more
Space in-between them
Gonna take a breath and try again.
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Gator
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Re: Walkin in a winter wonderland....
« Reply #11 on: Jan 22nd, 2005, 7:50pm » |
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Y'all forgot a part:
In the driveway we can build a snowman
Pretend he is the code enforcement man
He'll say clear that snow or I'll fine you man
Then we'll plow him under the wheels of our van
Editted to add: Okay, maybe not. %@*& slow arsed dialup. Oh well, here's an alternate bridge for ya.
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| « Last Edit: Jan 22nd, 2005, 7:53pm by Gator » |
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kimh
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Re: Walkin in a winter wonderland....
« Reply #12 on: Jan 22nd, 2005, 7:55pm » |
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Eric,
easy for Yew to say - your still young. i don't want to break a hip
Eric, we are going to crecent club tomorrow and then Jimmy's for pizza***
Break a hip kim
E and JoAnnaj: Go to hilltop (washington drive) and cut through the fence in parking lott to access golf course and great sledding****
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Opus
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Re: Walkin in a winter wonderland....
« Reply #13 on: Jan 22nd, 2005, 8:13pm » |
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Doesn't this reflect what we're all thinking during winter?
Diary of a Snow Shoveler...
December 8 - 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and
the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching
the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses
Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
Dec 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every
inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely
place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had.
Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both
our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and
covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel
again. What a perfect life.
Dec 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My
neighbor tells me not to worry; we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No
snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the
end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. l don't think that's
possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.
Dec 14 - Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20.
The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I
warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The
snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't
realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly
get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.
Dec 15 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought
snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The
wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's
silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
Dec 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway
putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, Which I
think was very cruel.
Dec 17 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere.
Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay
warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.
Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I
hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own
living room.
Dec 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff last
night. More shoveling. Took all day. Goddamn snowplow came by twice. Tried
to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing
hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see
about buying a snowblower and they're out. Might have another shipment in
March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will do
it and bill me. I think he's lying.
Dec 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of
the white shite fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till
August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and
then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again.
I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck
for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the not a very nice person
is lying.
continued
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Kevin_M
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Re: Walkin in a winter wonderland....
« Reply #14 on: Jan 22nd, 2005, 8:13pm » |
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Kimmer's gone, to the kitchen
Kid's are cold, dinner's fixin'
Macaroni and cheese
But in the bowl she might sneeze
Living in a winter wonderland.
By the door, it's very puddled
Where their boots, are all huddled
Oh and hey close the door
'Cause the heat's costing more
Living in a winter wonderland
Natural gas, been really costin'
But at least, she's not in Boston
Snow's a foot says the score
But she knows Boston gets more
Living in a New York winterland
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Opus
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Re: Walkin in a winter wonderland....
« Reply #15 on: Jan 22nd, 2005, 8:14pm » |
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Dec 23 - Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me
to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she nuts!!! Why
didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think
she's lying.
Dec 24 - 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the frickin' shovel.
Thought I was having a heart attack! . If I ever catch the son of a bitch who
drives that snow plow I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat
him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and
waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100
miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the
wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but
I was too busy watching for the goddamn snowplow.
December 25 - Merry fucking Christmas! 20 more inches of the god damn slop
tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate
the snow!
Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over
the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's
a fucking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wondeful Life" one more time,
I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.
Dec 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER
idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
Dec 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze, plumber came after
14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me 1,400 to replace all my
pipes.
Dec 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The wife is driving me
crazy!!!
Dec 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could
cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I
am?
Dec 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver again. He is now suing me
for a million dollars not only for the beating I gave him but also for trying
to shove the broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to her
mother. 9" predicted.
Dec 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.
Jan 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving
me. Why am I tied to the bed?
No I didn't write this
Opus/Paul
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| « Last Edit: Jan 22nd, 2005, 8:22pm by Opus » |
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Kris_in_SJ
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Re: Walkin in a winter wonderland....
« Reply #16 on: Jan 22nd, 2005, 8:19pm » |
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From one Michigander to another, loved your poem, Kevin.
Your's was lovely too, Kim, but I (thankfully) no longer have to relate to young children tracking it into my kitchen or onto my carpet..
We now have 12 new inches on top of the previous 8. All the neighborhood was out this AM with their "snow toys" blowing out not only their own driveways and sidewalks - but their elderly neighbors' as well. Of course, the minute they were done, the snowplows came through and covered up all the ends of the driveways, so they had to go out and do it again. Ahh - the wonders of winter. I absolutely love it - as long as I don't have to go out!
Kris
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Grandma_Sweet_Boy
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Re: Walkin in a winter wonderland....
« Reply #17 on: Jan 22nd, 2005, 8:20pm » |
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Paul and all the rest of you - how wonderfully talented you are.
Me I just sit in the corner sucking my thumb and repeating like some dumb ass mantra "I freakin' hate winter - I should have been born rich".
Please, please add more verses - it's giving me something to laugh about.
Carol
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Opus
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Re: Walkin in a winter wonderland....
« Reply #18 on: Jan 22nd, 2005, 8:24pm » |
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on Jan 22nd, 2005, 8:20pm, Grandma_Sweet_Boy wrote:Paul and all the rest of you - how wonderfully talented you are.
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No, no, no, I didn't write that, all I am good at is typing some words into Google, and copy/paste what I found LOL.
Opus/Paul
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Grandma_Sweet_Boy
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Re: Walkin in a winter wonderland....
« Reply #19 on: Jan 22nd, 2005, 8:27pm » |
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on Jan 22nd, 2005, 8:24pm, Opus wrote:
No, no, no, I didn't write that, all I am good at is typing some words into Google, and copy/paste what I found LOL.
Opus/Paul |
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But you were kind enough to go find it and put it out here so I could have a really good laugh. We're having another damned blizzard and frankly, I'm beginning to feel like the guy in your story when he talks about the snow plow driver!
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Kevin_M
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Re: Walkin in a winter wonderland....
« Reply #20 on: Jan 22nd, 2005, 8:57pm » |
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Carol hates, what winter's givin',
Oh so cold, where she's living.
She wishes to be,
A warm retiree
Farther from her winter wonderland.
In her town, it's really cold where,
Polar bears, feel at home there.
She might be drinking warm tea
But she still wishes to be
Farther from her winter wonderland.
Spring will come, it's far away now,
It'll come, and find a way how
To blossom the trees
And get her stung by the bees
Staying in her winter wonderland
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| « Last Edit: Jan 22nd, 2005, 8:58pm by Kevin_M » |
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kimh
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Re: Walkin in a winter wonderland....
« Reply #21 on: Jan 22nd, 2005, 9:02pm » |
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LoL Paul,
........sniff. l
okee dokey. i'm no snow loser
bring it on snow plow man! I'll git cha! I am waiting to beat the ever livin HELL outa the snow plow guy
(you guys don't KNOW what it's likeliving on this godforsaken HILL ).........(she cries in her cup) boo hoo the snow plow guy only makes things WORSE
Okay. Kewl. Ya'll got the message and won't call authorities when i bury "them" under the snow and bricks.... 
I'm really a warm weather kinda gal
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Tara Ann
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Re: Walkin in a winter wonderland....
« Reply #22 on: Jan 22nd, 2005, 9:42pm » |
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Awesome everyone! 
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Kevin_M
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Re: Walkin in a winter wonderland....
« Reply #23 on: Jan 22nd, 2005, 10:00pm » |
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Kris resides, in cold St Jo's now,
Deeper snow, left by the snow plow.
Where lake effect snow
Drops more a shovel can throw,
Living in a winter wonderland
In Michigan, this winter's colder,
Than weathermen, coulda told her.
She'll be living in three
Feet of snow possibly,
Living in a winter wonderland.
Two more months, 'til its springtime
Lots of snow, in the meantime.
But she'll be happy to be
Spending winter painfree,
Living in a winter wonderland.
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Peppermint
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Re: Walkin in a winter wonderland....
« Reply #24 on: Jan 22nd, 2005, 10:19pm » |
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on Jan 22nd, 2005, 7:45pm, kimh wrote:
Fucking BRIDGE WHERE IS THE FUCKING BRIIIIIIDGE |
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