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Topic: The truth of creation (Read 316 times) |
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BarbaraD
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The truth of creation
« on: Jan 12th, 2005, 10:20pm » |
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In the beginning, God created the Heavens and
> > the
> > Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli,
> > cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and
> > red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman
> > would live long and healthy lives.
> >
> > Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben
> > and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts.
> > And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"
> > And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as
> > long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And
> > they gained 10 pounds.
> > And Satan smiled.
> >
> > And God created the healthful yogurt that
> > Woman might keep the figure that Man found so
> > fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from
> > the wheat, and sugar from the cane and
> > combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to
> > size 14.
> >
> > So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And
> > Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing,
> > buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side.
> > And Man and Woman unfastened their belts
> > following the repast.
> >
> > God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy
> > vegetables and olive oil in which to cook
> > them."
> > And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and
> > chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own
> > platter. And Man
> > gained more weight and his cholesterol went
> > through the roof.
> >
> > God then created a light, fluffy white cake,
> > named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is
> > good." Satan then created chocolate cake and
> > named it "Devil's Food."
> >
> > God then brought forth running shoes so that
> > His children might lose those extra pounds.
> >
> > And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control
> > so Man would not have to toil changing the
> > channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried
> > before the flickering blue light and gained
> > pounds.
> >
> > Then God brought forth the potato, naturally
> > low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And
> > Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced
> > the starchy center into chips and deep-fried
> > them. And Man gained pounds.
> >
> > God then gave lean beef so that Man might
> > consume fewer calories and still satisfy his
> > appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its
> > 99-cent double
> > cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with
> > that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size
> > them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man
> > went into cardiac arrest.
> >
> > God sighed and created quadruple bypass
> > surgery.
> > Then Satan created HMOs.
> >
> > Thought for the day .....
> > There is more money being spent on breast
> > implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's
> > research. This means that by 2040, there should
> > be a large elderly population with perky boobs
> > and huge erections and absolutely no
> > recollection of what to do with them.
 Hugs BD
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What don't kill ya, Makes ya stonger!
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Kevin_M
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Re: The truth of creation
« Reply #1 on: Jan 12th, 2005, 10:34pm » |
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on Jan 12th, 2005, 10:20pm, BarbaraD wrote:| Then God brought forth the potato, |
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And then man and woman were remade in its image.
Good post Barb.
Kevin M
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nani
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Re: The truth of creation
« Reply #2 on: Jan 12th, 2005, 10:36pm » |
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ROTFL Barb...that was a good one! 
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broomhilda
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Re: The truth of creation
« Reply #3 on: Jan 12th, 2005, 10:46pm » |
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Too funny, LMAO, thanks!!!
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Suck it up Princess...
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BarbaraG
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Re: The truth of creation
« Reply #4 on: Jan 12th, 2005, 11:14pm » |
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LOL good to hear from you BarbD.. Take care.
BarbaraG
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Langa
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So many donuts, such little time...
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Re: The truth of creation
« Reply #5 on: Jan 13th, 2005, 3:31am » |
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When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
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BarbaraD
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Re: The truth of creation
« Reply #6 on: Jan 13th, 2005, 5:19am » |
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Hey there Barb -- what the devil have you been hiding from? Miss you -- Still waiting on Chapter 1 
Hugs BD
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What don't kill ya, Makes ya stonger!
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karma
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Re: The truth of creation
« Reply #7 on: Jan 13th, 2005, 9:02am » |
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Sad But True.
Imagine +/- 18,000 mostly overweight American cruise passengers departing ships in a single day.
Happened here yesterday.
No offense to Americans or heavy folks. Just an observation.
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sandie99
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Re: The truth of creation
« Reply #8 on: Jan 13th, 2005, 9:49am » |
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Thanks!
I needed the laugh!
PFdays,
sandie99
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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