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Topic: Is it fair to get married!?! (Read 2384 times) |
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sappygirl13
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Is it fair to get married!?!
« on: Dec 15th, 2004, 8:51pm » |
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I have honestly found the love of my life...however i'm having issues with the whole thing...cause as the topic of marriage settles in-i really start to think it's incredibly unfair to drag someone thru the lifestyle i live. Although he seems fine with the situation...i can't help but to think of eventually starting a family. I can't take care of myself...let alone a family. And even tho we discuss all of this....i really don't think he understands that my 120% is only gonna really tally up to about 30% of what needs to be done. I just think this seems unfair...how does everyone else deal with it?
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vig
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #1 on: Dec 15th, 2004, 8:52pm » |
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don't look at me...
I'm not married...
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never, Never, NEVER quit. -Winston Churchill
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don
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #2 on: Dec 15th, 2004, 8:54pm » |
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Quote:| unfair to drag someone thru the lifestyle i live |
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If your talking about CH then I think your making a big deal out of nothing. Treat your headaches and get on with your life.
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Mark C
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #3 on: Dec 15th, 2004, 8:56pm » |
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no
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Sean_C
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #4 on: Dec 15th, 2004, 8:58pm » |
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on Dec 15th, 2004, 8:54pm, don wrote:
If your talking about CH then I think your making a big deal out of nothing. Treat your headaches and get on with your life. |
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Exactly  Life doesn't stop unless you let it. I say go for it.
Sean................................
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sappygirl13
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #5 on: Dec 15th, 2004, 8:59pm » |
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i'm still at the trial and error stage of treat'n my CH...and i guess i just worry because i see on here sooo many people who have suffered for 15+ yrs and i read about the toll it takes on the family
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Sean_C
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #6 on: Dec 15th, 2004, 9:00pm » |
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LMAO Mark
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Sean_C
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #7 on: Dec 15th, 2004, 9:05pm » |
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on Dec 15th, 2004, 8:59pm, sappygirl13 wrote:| i'm still at the trial and error stage of treat'n my CH...and i guess i just worry because i see on here sooo many people who have suffered for 15+ yrs and i read about the toll it takes on the family |
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My familiy is aclimated(sp) to my disorder, yours will too.......................if not we'll send jonny over there to express what the pain feels like
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Donna_D.
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #8 on: Dec 15th, 2004, 9:08pm » |
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Seems to me that if you have to ask these questions, there may be other doubts in your mind that this one is really THE ONE...
When in doubt...do nothing. You will never question True Love.
DD
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kissmyglass
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #9 on: Dec 15th, 2004, 9:10pm » |
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my main squeeze is in worse shape than me. Fuck the clusters & go for it!
Kev
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broomhilda
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #10 on: Dec 15th, 2004, 9:10pm » |
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on Dec 15th, 2004, 9:08pm, Donna_D. wrote:Seems to me that if you have to ask these questions, there may be other doubts in your mind that this one is really THE ONE...
When in doubt...do nothing. You will never question True Love.
DD |
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Well said, could not agree more, in sickness and in health...
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Suck it up Princess...
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Grandma_Sweet_Boy
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #11 on: Dec 15th, 2004, 9:12pm » |
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Donna has expressed this beautifully. Couldn't agree more.
Your headaches aren't who you are.
Good luck with your decision.
Carol
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marlin
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #12 on: Dec 15th, 2004, 9:13pm » |
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How long have you been hooked up w/ this guy and what's your CH condition?
I get slammed every couple of years now and I respond well to meds so other than getting worn out and a little cranky during cycle it's no big deal. But, I did spoil our honeymoon with a few major hits... Who know's - perhaps Glaxo will invent some drug that eliminates CHs altogether. Advances in treatment have made coping a lot easier for me at least.
So, follow don's advice. Don't let the HAs influence your decision. Lord knows, it's a tough one to make.
Congrats and post your wedding pics! Better yet, mount a webcam in the honeymoon suite
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E-Double
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #13 on: Dec 15th, 2004, 9:15pm » |
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Ya know what..........
If he loves you and you love him then what's the problem?
I got married 3 1/2 weeks ago 
We have lived together for 3yrs and been together for 6....
she knows who I am, what I am about and despite having CH in my life....
My life is not CH!!!!!!!!!
Hurts like hell and like many I have often prayed for death but you have to do the best that you can to live your life!
Do not let this thing bring you down past the point of .........
Hang in there and LIVE!
Eric
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I can't believe that I have to bang my
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Mark C
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #14 on: Dec 15th, 2004, 9:17pm » |
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on Dec 15th, 2004, 9:10pm, broomhilda wrote:| ..........sickness........ |
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(Do you feel that?)
(Oh shit)
Drowning deep in my sea of loathing
Broken your servant I kneel
(Will you give it to me?)
It seems what's left of my human side
Is slowly changing ... in me
(Will you give it to me?)
Now that you've woken up the demon ... in me
Get up, come on get down with the sickness...............
Disturbed....
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cootie
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #15 on: Dec 15th, 2004, 9:19pm » |
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Ya won't really know someone till ya've went thru the stress of life......if he's familiar with yer condition and all that can does and will goes with it then he should do fine. Too many people get married too soon......they go thru bill, health, and family stress and it all goes to hell in a rust bucket. Good luck to ya........Rusty butt Pam
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sappygirl13
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #16 on: Dec 15th, 2004, 9:23pm » |
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on Dec 15th, 2004, 9:08pm, Donna_D. wrote:Seems to me that if you have to ask these questions, there may be other doubts in your mind that this one is really THE ONE...
When in doubt...do nothing. You will never question True Love.
DD |
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i definitely don't question the love....he is everything. I just know situational now...i miss a lotta work-so financially i'm bad off....and like i said...i know how much people hafta help me out now....and that's no way to raise a family
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marlin
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #17 on: Dec 15th, 2004, 9:37pm » |
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Then move in with the guy and hope to get married at some time in the future. Consider it an exhibition game before the season opens. You don't have to start a family right away or at all for that matter. Relax.
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Sean_C
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #18 on: Dec 15th, 2004, 9:42pm » |
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I don't know your situation but by the sounds of it maybe you should wait. Once you start your family you won't be able to re-decide, you'll be committed to it. No sense in trying to take care of a family if you can't take care of yourself. Wait a few years, your young, enjoy life for a while, there's no rush.
Sean......................
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Melissa
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #19 on: Dec 15th, 2004, 9:43pm » |
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I think that getting married is being fair to YOURSELF. A person who loves you for you, will not judge you and will stick by you through thick and thin. Shying away from relationships is not the way to "live" your life.
As Don said, treat your ha's and get on with your life.
take care,
mel
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thebbz
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #20 on: Dec 15th, 2004, 11:27pm » |
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Unfair is letting the demon in any way dictate what you should or should not do. If it is love it will work CH or not. My wife is one of the best weapons with the demon. So you are just beginning in your fight, as time goes on you will learn and get better at fighting CH. It's nice to have someone that loves you in your corner. 
BB
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Tiannia
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #21 on: Dec 15th, 2004, 11:38pm » |
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If there is unconditional love, then let it be and love each other. Do not start a family right off. THat changes many things in your life above and beyond CH. I woudl never give up my kids for th anything int he world, and yes there is a toll that is paid with CH, but give yourself tiem to find a treatment that works and then think about a family. Tlak to him about it all, your fears your concerns everything. If you cant do that , then your marriage does not have a foundation to stand on.
CH does not run my life. I might have to pause a bit at times or rework a days schedule cause the Beast is being an A$$ but my life between hits is my family. If the smile that my son gets when I pick him up and the look of undersanding when I help my daughter with her homeowrk. Besides the hugs that I get especially right after a hit and I am shaking and crying in my husbands arms. Ther eis no toll in our love or our marriage. But acceptance and understanding.
Be true to your self and him.
Good Luck,
-Tia
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Bill-G
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #22 on: Dec 15th, 2004, 11:50pm » |
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You love him, he loves you. Looks like a good reason to get married
I've been married for 33 years. In that time there have been periods when each of us has been through hard times. We are always there for each other..thats what love is. Love doesn't demand a good deal, its not a contest. its caring enough to go through whatever it takes to be together and make it work
Best wishes on whatever you decide
Take care
Bil
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nani
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #23 on: Dec 16th, 2004, 12:07am » |
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CH is not the easiest thing to deal with, but with the right level of commitment and understanding, it does not have to come between you. In fact, it can draw you closer in some ways. Always be honest with yourselves and each other and it doesn't have to become a problem. Good luck and pain free wishes to you.
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K-9
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Re: Is it fair to get married!?!
« Reply #24 on: Dec 16th, 2004, 2:42am » |
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Just flip a coin!!! No wait...........no............ I got nothin.
Whatever they said is probably better. Good luck with it, you'll be surprised what love can endure.
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