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Topic: A Smart Man.... (Read 217 times) |
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Jeepgun
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I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and "flipped" the woman off.
Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and I drive 48 miles each way every day to work. That's 96 miles each day.
Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8-lane highway. There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.
Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.
Statistically, females drive half of these. That's 18,000 women drivers! In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS. That's 642. According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449.
According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98. And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33.
According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry a weapon and this number is increasing.
That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.
Flip one off? I think not.
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marlin
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Re: A Smart Man....
« Reply #1 on: Dec 7th, 2004, 11:09am » |
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That's some awesome logic. Outstanding, with 1 notable statistical exception.
on Dec 7th, 2004, 10:31am, Jeepgun wrote:
I don't know where you got that number. Personally collect empirical evidence suggests that your 1/28 number is a little LOW. Probably collected by a woman not trained to detect the subtle signs of PMS SCREAMING UNCONTR  OLLABLY FOR NO REASON, MOOD SWINGS FROM GENTLE/CARING TO AXE MURDERER IN A SPLIT SECOND WITHOUT WARNING, DISPOSITION SWITCHES FROM THE CUSTOMARY IRRATIONAL TO RAVING LUNATIC IN MID SENTENCE....
My own research puts that number at 1/3, and that may be on the low side.
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echo
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Re: A Smart Man....
« Reply #2 on: Dec 7th, 2004, 12:34pm » |
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on Dec 7th, 2004, 10:31am, Jeepgun wrote:
That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.
Flip one off? I think not.
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Outstanding Jeep. LMAO
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"If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it".
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Racer1_NC
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Re: A Smart Man....
« Reply #3 on: Dec 7th, 2004, 12:40pm » |
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ST. AUGUSTINE, Florida (AP) -- A woman ran over two teenage brothers after they accidentally hit her sport utility vehicle with a golf ball they were bouncing in a parking lot, officials said. One of the boys suffered life-threatening injuries.
The 14- and 16-year-old boys were bouncing the golf ball in a shopping center parking lot Sunday afternoon when it went astray and struck the SUV driven by 47-year-old Kathy Feaganes Allen, sheriff's Deputy Greg Suchy said.
No damage was done, and the boys apologized and began to walk away, Suchy said. Allen started to drive away, but suddenly made a U-turn, ran over a median and struck the teens before knocking over a light pole, Suchy said.
"I tried to run. I blacked out. I woke up bleeding," Justin Marshman, 16, told The Florida Times-Union.
She then allegedly went after a third brother, but did not hit him. A witness said that after the SUV came to rest, Allen got out of the car and smoked a cigarette with the boys lying on the ground in pain.
"She charged them. This was the most deliberate act," witness Russell McPhee said. "After she ran them down, she got out of the car and lit a cigarette like a movie star."
Isiah Grayer, 14, was in critical condition Monday. Justin Marshman, his stepbrother, was treated for non-life threatening injuries.
Brent Woolbright of the St. Johns County Public Defender's Office said he was assigned Allen's case Monday and was trying to get all the facts.
"I talked to her, and her story is a little different that what was reported," he said.
Allen told the court she has mental problems. A judge ordered her held without bail Monday on three counts of attempted murder.
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catlind
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Re: A Smart Man....
« Reply #4 on: Dec 7th, 2004, 12:48pm » |
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on Dec 7th, 2004, 11:09am, marlin wrote:
I don't know where you got that number. Personally collect empirical evidence suggests that your 1/28 number is a little LOW. Probably collected by a woman not trained to detect the subtle signs of PMS SCREAMING UNCONTR OLLABLY FOR NO REASON, MOOD SWINGS FROM GENTLE/CARING TO AXE MURDERER IN A SPLIT SECOND WITHOUT WARNING, DISPOSITION SWITCHES FROM THE CUSTOMARY IRRATIONAL TO RAVING LUNATIC IN MID SENTENCE....
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That sounds like me on Prednisone 
Cat
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If yer gonna be stupid, ya gotta be tough
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marlin
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Re: A Smart Man....
« Reply #5 on: Dec 7th, 2004, 12:49pm » |
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on Dec 7th, 2004, 12:40pm, Racer1_NC wrote:
Allen told the court she has mental problems. A judge ordered her held without bail Monday on three counts of attempted murder.
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Be careful at the mall. I avoid them, especially at Christmas as Christmas prolongs and intensifies PMS symptoms.
They should have tested her for PMS, ya know, like a field sobriety test. Blow in a device and it records temp of the exhale. If it's over 200deg - PMS above the legal driving limit.
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Langa
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Re: A Smart Man....
« Reply #6 on: Dec 7th, 2004, 1:33pm » |
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This doesn't describe me at all... 
Oh wait...well there was the time I had a back seat full of screaming nephews oh and that time when I was gitting hit on the way home from work...never mind then... 
On a serious note, that Florida woman is psychotic... 
Langa
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TomM
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Re: A Smart Man....
« Reply #7 on: Dec 7th, 2004, 1:47pm » |
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on Dec 7th, 2004, 10:31am, Jeepgun wrote:Flip one off? I think not.
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Sounds advice, Frank.
And let us not forget, that for every unhappy woman there is at least one unhappy man dealing with her and he [most likely] drives to work, too.
Perhaps, we should not flip any one off??
Thoughts that make Tom say "Hmmmm..."
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"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I'll go fishing."
--Thoreau--
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Jeepgun
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Agreed, Tom. That's why, when someone cuts me off, or is paying too much attention to their cellphone conversation to pay attention to the 3,000 lb. missile that they are piloting, I pull up beside them, give them a big ol' cheesy grin and a thumbs-up. Usually, they get the sarcasm. And if they get pissed off about it, what are they going to do? Shoot me for smiling at them? Pffffft....
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