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ClusterGuy
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ClusterHead for 14 years
   
 
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Forgot how bad they hurt
« on: Dec 1st, 2004, 9:47am » |
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Hey guys,
Woke up this morning to an unbelievable pain. I was in remission for 3 years and I forgot how bad these F**kers hurt. I have an icepack on my head as I am typing this. Today I think I get my scrip for Imitrex and O2, but shit, yesterday I had 6 of em and not one was under 45 minutes. I had my cycle for 11 years straight with no break, and then my 3 year remission, but for some reason, I forgot how bad they actually hurt. Is this normal. I mean, when I felt the first one coming on, after remission, I got really scared cuz I remembered that they hurt, but shit they seem to hurt worse this time around. Sorry bout the rambling but that's how my brain works while dealing with these things.
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john_d
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Re: Forgot how bad they hurt
« Reply #1 on: Dec 1st, 2004, 9:50am » |
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I have come to the conclusion that it is not possible to remember CH pain. Vibes to you bro. They suck.
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nani
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Re: Forgot how bad they hurt
« Reply #2 on: Dec 1st, 2004, 9:51am » |
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I can't tell you guy, I haven't really had a remission long enough to forget.  That's probably it though, it's easy to block out how much they hurt if you haven't had one in a while. Hang in there... 
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Ruth
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Re: Forgot how bad they hurt
« Reply #3 on: Dec 1st, 2004, 9:55am » |
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Uh Oh!
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Lobster
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Re: Forgot how bad they hurt
« Reply #4 on: Dec 1st, 2004, 10:00am » |
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on Dec 1st, 2004, 9:50am, john_d wrote:| I have come to the conclusion that it is not possible to remember CH pain. |
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Well said. I have been PF since my last episode ended... 6 months ago. I remember it hurting, but only in the same sense that stubbing my toe also hurts.
Due again in the next 25-45 days. Not really dreading it like I know I should be.
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Jeepgun
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Re: Forgot how bad they hurt
« Reply #5 on: Dec 1st, 2004, 10:03am » |
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I think it's a level of pain that the human brain just can't grok. It's truly unspeakable... I'm so sorry you're getting hit again. I'm already in full-on dread of February. I get this mental image of the Beast in some underground dungeon somewhere, sitting in front of a grinding wheel, honing and sharpening his various implements of torture... 
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becky8
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Re: Forgot how bad they hurt
« Reply #6 on: Dec 1st, 2004, 10:13am » |
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All the hits are BAD, but when they get pass 2 or 3 bad hits a day, I get totally in my Freakzone cause thats what it is by then. Drugs don't work, nice words don't work, I just have to be alone and FREAK of course!!!LOL!! Hows werid but if anyone here says different I think you're lying!!! Buckle up and hang for the ride! Sorry you're riding now!!
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Melissa
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Re: Forgot how bad they hurt
« Reply #7 on: Dec 1st, 2004, 10:14am » |
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Quote:| I have come to the conclusion that it is not possible to remember CH pain. |
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I think that is what also instills fear into us episodics... At least it does for me.
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jminmilwaukee
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Re: Forgot how bad they hurt
« Reply #8 on: Dec 1st, 2004, 10:15am » |
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With anything this painfull, I believe the natural subconcious way of dealing with it is to block it out. I believe the mind has to as way of preserving ones sanity, kind of like a state of shock.
I do however remember that as my cycles were growing closer together, the level of pain was increasing dramatically as was the length of the cycle and my ability to deal with it decreasing at the same rate.
Sorry to hear you are being ripped apart once again.
Hang tough - jmin
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ZAIRA
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NEVER forget how bad they hurt
« Reply #9 on: Dec 1st, 2004, 10:23am » |
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OH NO!! I'm so sorry to hear the monsters are back in force! CH really sucks................................. we know exactly what you are going through............. so be strong and go on always!
Ciao! Zaira 
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Jonny
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Re: Forgot how bad they hurt
« Reply #10 on: Dec 1st, 2004, 3:28pm » |
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on Dec 1st, 2004, 10:14am, Melissa wrote:| I think that is what also instills fear into us episodics... |
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I've been saying that for years.....if there is a good thing about being chronic, its that you (I) dont have that build up of fear knowing its coming....it never goes away (thats the down side )
...............................jonny
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Jeepgun
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Re: Forgot how bad they hurt
« Reply #11 on: Dec 1st, 2004, 3:34pm » |
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You're right, Jonny.
When I was a kid and I screwed up, waiting for my dad to get home and beat my ass was almost as bad as the beating itself. 
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marlin
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Re: Forgot how bad they hurt
« Reply #12 on: Dec 1st, 2004, 3:39pm » |
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That about sums it up. Really blows since you've been PF for 3 years. I'll bet you were like me - hoping they were gone for good. I just got through a cycle. trex, O2 and pred. Haven't had a CH since 2 weeks ago today. Got my fingers crossed.
If you haven't tried the pred taper you might want to talk to your doc. Snapped me out of my cycle instantly. The thing I don't know for cetain is whether my cycle would have ended naturally anyhow but I was getting hit 2-3X/day when I started the taper so my inclination is to think the pred worked magic.
In fact I need to call my doc and let him know. Still gonna STOCK UP ON THE TREX just the same...
good luck and don't tough it out without meds.
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LeLimey
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Re: Forgot how bad they hurt
« Reply #13 on: Dec 1st, 2004, 3:53pm » |
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on Dec 1st, 2004, 9:50am, john_d wrote:| I have come to the conclusion that it is not possible to remember CH pain. |
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I believe that to be true of any bad pain.. look at the number of women with more than one child! (Having said that I would prefer labour to CH any day of the week 'cos at least that is productive pain.)
I think its our bodies (or minds) self defence mechanism.. if we could remember it accurately would that be as bad as suffering it again?
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Charlie
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Re: Forgot how bad they hurt
« Reply #14 on: Dec 1st, 2004, 6:30pm » |
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Sorry to read this 
It's so bad that it doesn't qualify as pain. It has to be some kind of alien evil test perpetrated by interstellar beings that I'm sad that I won't be here when we turn their planet into space talcum.
Charlie
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Tiannia
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Re: Forgot how bad they hurt
« Reply #15 on: Dec 1st, 2004, 6:43pm » |
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on Dec 1st, 2004, 3:28pm, Jonny wrote:
I've been saying that for years.....if there is a good thing about being chronic, its that you (I) dont have that build up of fear knowing its coming....it never goes away (thats the down side )
...............................jonny
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I've said the same thing. Not that I want these to keep going, but I really dont want to think about what I would do if I had to wonder when they would start again.
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BobG
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Re: Forgot how bad they hurt
« Reply #16 on: Dec 1st, 2004, 8:45pm » |
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Very true. But when they do return you know instantly what it is. Cluster pain is so unique in itself that there is no other type of pain like it. You know immediately what it is no matter how long you’ve been in remission.
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stevegeebe
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Re: Forgot how bad they hurt
« Reply #17 on: Dec 1st, 2004, 8:55pm » |
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When I really think about it I can remember. I usually have a less abrupt introduction.
What a bitch.
Vibes for a short cycle.
Steve G
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Gator
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Re: Forgot how bad they hurt
« Reply #18 on: Dec 1st, 2004, 10:22pm » |
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It's not surprising you forgot how much they hurt. I wish I could forget it and never be reminded again. Being chronic, though, I don't think that is likely to happen anytime soon. {fingers crossed for the Harvard Medical Study on psilocybin} Sorry you are getting hit again. Hopefully it'll be a short one.
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Superpain
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Re: Forgot how bad they hurt
« Reply #19 on: Dec 2nd, 2004, 5:42am » |
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I agree. My last was at about 6 am vegas time 4/5/04... Within a week the realization of the depth of the pain was gone. It's almost like it was a dream. Just as it has been every time.
But then you get your ass woke up and woke up hard!
I figure I've got at least a yr or two of dreaming left and I hope I never get waken up again! But I know I will.
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Chris
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