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Topic: Colonoscopy - have you had yours ? (Read 346 times) |
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OneEyeBlind
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Colonoscopy - have you had yours ?
« on: Nov 20th, 2004, 7:29pm » |
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Colonoscopies: HAVE YOU HAD YOURS
A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made By his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!"
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet ? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey ! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "God, Now I know why I am not gay."
And the best one of them all...
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is
not up there."
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LeLimey
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Re: Colonoscopy - have you had yours ?
« Reply #1 on: Nov 20th, 2004, 7:32pm » |
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Thank you for that!!  I'm having my 4th one this year on Tuesday, if I start spouting that lot they might finally give me sedation!!
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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cschick
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Re: Colonoscopy - have you had yours ?
« Reply #2 on: Nov 20th, 2004, 7:35pm » |
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I have seen that before! I was just quoting some of those to my brother-in-law the other night before he went for his colonoscopy - he wasn't so amused by it. oh well, I try.
Karen
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Ruth
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Re: Colonoscopy - have you had yours ?
« Reply #3 on: Nov 20th, 2004, 8:32pm » |
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Very funny,
yes, I've had mine this year. 
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AussieBrian
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Re: Colonoscopy - have you had yours ?
« Reply #4 on: Nov 20th, 2004, 8:41pm » |
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If I must have one, then fair enough, but if I can feel one of his hands on each my shoulders .........
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K-9
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Re: Colonoscopy - have you had yours ?
« Reply #5 on: Nov 20th, 2004, 9:03pm » |
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NO!! And let me tell you, I am sooo looking forward to it....NOT!! 
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Mark C
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Re: Colonoscopy - have you had yours ?
« Reply #6 on: Nov 20th, 2004, 10:22pm » |
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Yes.....but I still have Clusterheadaches... 
Seriously, my Father passed at 46 from colon cancer....I have been tested every five years since age 35. They are almost certain is genetic for him to pass so young...hence...I have been "scoped" from BOTH ends....meet in the middle I reckon.
My Dr is the same one who removed Regans' polyps if you can remeber that. He was on the Congressional Medical Staff. The inventor of the Colonoscope is right here in Knoxville and my Dr is in that group.
I am very lucky to have such good care for that end...prolly the best in the world.
Careful where you sit,
Mark
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Ree
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Re: Colonoscopy - have you had yours ?
« Reply #7 on: Nov 20th, 2004, 10:24pm » |
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Been threatened by my doctor but she says I have a good 5-6 years left before she will make me have one... Have you had your mamogrammmmmmmmmmmmmm?
ree
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Charlie
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Re: Colonoscopy - have you had yours ?
« Reply #8 on: Nov 21st, 2004, 12:16am » |
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Mine will be behind me on the 2nd.
I'll never get why a MD would pick this for a specialty. Kramer's "Assman" are all over the place.
Charlie 
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ClusterChuck
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Re: Colonoscopy - have you had yours ?
« Reply #9 on: Nov 21st, 2004, 5:21am » |
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Shoot! It is time for RotoRouter, again, isn't it!
Chuck
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BarbaraD
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Re: Colonoscopy - have you had yours ?
« Reply #10 on: Nov 21st, 2004, 8:46am » |
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on Nov 20th, 2004, 10:24pm, Ree wrote:.. Have you had your mamogrammmmmmmmmmmmmm?
ree |
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Nope! Told the doc we'd have one of those right after the Penogram! He cancelled it and hasn't brought it up since. Told him if I get a lump, I'll just buy a bigger bra....
My question (and remember I'm OLD) how the hell did we EVER get through all those years without all these designer tests?
Hugs BD
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Melissa
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Re: Colonoscopy - have you had yours ?
« Reply #11 on: Nov 21st, 2004, 8:46am » |
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on Nov 20th, 2004, 10:24pm, Ree wrote:Have you had your mamogrammmmmmmmmmmmmm?
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I get mine done on Dec.13th. The only reason why I even got up the courage to call and make the appt., is because I found a lump. Just a small one, I'm sure it's nothing, but it is enough to make a gal paranoid. 
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ClusterChuck
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Re: Colonoscopy - have you had yours ?
« Reply #12 on: Nov 21st, 2004, 9:11am » |
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Mel, let me check that out for you. I will give you a thorough breast exam, and I won't even charge you!
I have very experienced hands, and my tongue does a fine inspection job, too!
Chuck
PS: Prayers and vibes that it is "nothing" !!!!
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OneEyeBlind
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Re: Colonoscopy - have you had yours ?
« Reply #13 on: Nov 21st, 2004, 9:17am » |
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Hey Mel, I'm sure everything will be alright. Try not to worry too much till ya get the test results back.
Have ya been drinking a lot of caffine ? Cause ya know, that can cause cystic breasts.
Were're here for ya !!!!!!!
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Melissa
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Re: Colonoscopy - have you had yours ?
« Reply #14 on: Nov 21st, 2004, 9:22am » |
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on Nov 21st, 2004, 9:17am, OneEyeBlind wrote:Have ya been drinking a lot of caffine ? Cause ya know, that can cause cystic breasts.
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Yes I was! Oh my, I hope that is all it is! I stopped drinking soda about 3 days ago because it was beginning to do a number on my teeth. I have never heard of cystic breasts? I'll have to do a search on it.
Thanks for the concerns!
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don
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Re: Colonoscopy - have you had yours ?
« Reply #15 on: Nov 21st, 2004, 10:22am » |
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Not4Hire
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Re: Colonoscopy - have you had yours ?
« Reply #16 on: Nov 21st, 2004, 11:14am » |
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A Public Service Announcement....
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BarbaraD
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Re: Colonoscopy - have you had yours ?
« Reply #17 on: Nov 21st, 2004, 1:20pm » |
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Bet you're a free lance gynocologist too.... 
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Carl_D
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Re: Colonoscopy - have you had yours ?
« Reply #18 on: Nov 21st, 2004, 1:53pm » |
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Don't worry Mel. If it IS anything, I'm sure you've caught it in well enough time. But yeah, any lump should not be ignored.
Another fun thing to say during a colonscopy:
"Hey, have you found Willy Wonka in my chocolate factory yet?"
Peace,
Carl D
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