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Topic: personal evil (Read 768 times) |
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john_d
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I got stuck in traffic for two hours on my way home today, there were two terrible, fatal accidents on my way- one after the other. Finally got close to home, and at a red light about 5 minutes out from my house someone was flashing there lights from behind me. I slowed down and as he passed he flipped my off, he didn't even look at me, he just sped by like he was in a hurry and stuck his arm way out and flipped me off. I have no idea what he was talking about. This was at the exact same spot where some a couple of kids yelled at me about 6 months ago because I wave to them to turn down there radio, they yelled and screamed and threatened me. I swallowed it that time, I was able to let it ride even though I was fuming. But this time something snapped in me, I completely lost it. I got behind him, he crossed two lanes of traffic to turn, obviously not his route, I followed him trying to make him pullover. I continued trying to get him to pull over, I was out-of-fucken-control. He would not pull-over, he was very smart. If he had stopped I would have ruined his day and my life, I just know it. I am so glad he did not, I was able to turn around and go home peacefully. If he had pulled over it would have been a horrible scene. I go about thinking I have it so together, so mature, and then I come face to face with my own personal evil. When things like this happen I realize just what it means to look at someone in trouble or behind bars or whatever and say, 'There, but for the grace of God, go I'.
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cschick
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Wow, that was quite some story. My hubby just got a concealed weapons permit and I worry about him doing something stupid while driving. He has a really bad temper and just doesn't think about what he is doing sometimes. I am glad you came to your senses and went home. I have been that pissed off before though too so I understand where you are coming from!
Hugs to you and remember to breathe!
Karen
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john_d
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that's funny because when I came to my senses that is the first thought that went through me head, I am glad I did not have a gun.
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Ree
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Re: personal evil
« Reply #3 on: Nov 18th, 2004, 9:00pm » |
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that happened to me recently too and all I thought was that the guy had no class to flip off a Sunday School teacher............. jerk...I have Jesus hanging from my rear view mirror.... any ole how John D. I didnt think you had it in you... glad you didnt do anything silly... and glad THAT guy didnt have a gun.........love to you ree
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alleyoop
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Re: personal evil
« Reply #4 on: Nov 18th, 2004, 9:01pm » |
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on Nov 18th, 2004, 8:53pm, john_d wrote:| that's funny because when I came to my senses that is the first thought that went through me head, I am glad I did not have a gun. |
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Or worse yet... He had!
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I know that the Good Lord won't put any more on you than you can stand, but sometimes I wish He weren't quite so PROUD of ME!
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cschick
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oh gosh alley I didn't even think about that!
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john_d
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Right. Well, I don't really know what would have happened. I think it takes crossing a boundary to hurt another human being, boundaries like that aren't so easy to cross unless you have done it many times before. Which I haven't, I certainly would not shoot another person- what I was actually thinking is that if I had a gun I might take it out like and get in real trouble, not actually shoot anyone with it. But yes, as far as what I mentioned happened, John D has it in him, and he knows it.
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| « Last Edit: Nov 18th, 2004, 9:22pm by john_d » |
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don
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What you described is my morning ritual on my way to work in Boston.
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john_d
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lol Don, thank you for that bro 
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cootie
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Re: personal evil
« Reply #9 on: Nov 18th, 2004, 11:58pm » |
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Road rage !!!! I think everyone has a lill bit of it tucked away in em somewhere. Problem with firearms or a weapon bein waved at the wrong person is that it could be used against ya or gone off in a scuffle and killed someone by accident. You'd of never forgiven yerself......and been ruin'd fer life. Best to jus blow off that shit cuz it isn't anyone ya know.....and ya can't let it get to ya cuz it will 'eat ya alive'. Don't show force unless ya mean ta use it Pam
Too bad I can't follow my own rules here......I have had a BAD habit of goin off on STUPID people.......I've never had enemy's before all these years. But I have learned to 'hate'.
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kimmiedawn81
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Re: personal evil
« Reply #10 on: Nov 19th, 2004, 1:00am » |
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Well, you're just lucky that you weren't one of those cars in the fatal crash.
~Kim
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K-9
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Re: personal evil
« Reply #11 on: Nov 19th, 2004, 3:00am » |
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Kim, that's a good point, at least John is here to tell us this story, and as far as the gun thing, I agree that you shouldn't EVER wave a firearm unless you intend to use it.
As for the story itself John, I'm going through a bit of that myself, "Everyone else is stupid" syndrome and I have no tolerance. I really know better but people just keep pissing me off. My next T-shirt is going to read, "My anger management class PISSES ME OFF!!". Hang in there as we all have things to work on and I happen to share with you on this one. I'm not good at this but I do thing letting it go is the best thing.
Chuck
(sharpening his knife)
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john_d
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I am lucky I was not in one of those accidents. When I reached the second accident, which I reached just as it happened, I was at first very annoyed. But I managed to stop myself from thinking about me just long enough to send a prayer up for the folks in the cars. I only found out later it was fatal. On the news I found out there were fatal accidents all over Orlando, it was like a crazy night, and everyone was driving very crazy. People have been driving incredibly aggressively for the last week or so.
Coots, Chuck and Don, thanks for the honesty, it is good to know I am not alone on these feelings. I will think about this thread and you guys next time one of these things come about, and hopefully just let it go.
I was thinking, you know I am giving these people a whole bunch of my energy in exchange for there rudeness, I'll keep it next time and use it to get laid or something. 
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don
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If you get in accident on the expressway in Boston then your dead meat one way or another.
If the accident dont get ya the people waiting in traffic will.
They'll aim for ya. Go Sox!
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Jeepgun
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John, I used to be very explosive and violent. A guy flipped me off once, and at the next red light, I got out of my car, walked around to his car, and as he was looking up at me, I slammed my fist into his face as hard as I could. Then I got back in my car as the light was turning green, and drove off.
It sounds like something everyone dreams of doing to some jerk, but I can tell you that I'm not real proud of it, and of the few regrets I have in my life, this is one of them. For all I know, I may have really hurt him, because when the light turned green, he didn't move. 
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E-Double
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Re: personal evil
« Reply #15 on: Nov 19th, 2004, 8:12am » |
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The end result is that you did show restraint.
Yes we all have our "personal evils"
For me I sort of get the opposite in that if I am too calm LOOK OUT! That is what too many in my past have encountered.... I'd come at ya without the big uproar....
The point being is that it could have been a lot worse and thank g-d for you and us that it did not.
Take it as another one of life's lessons and go with it.
Best to ya!!!
E.
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I can't believe that I have to bang my
Head against this wall again
But the blows they have just a little more
Space in-between them
Gonna take a breath and try again.
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Jeepgun
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on Nov 19th, 2004, 8:12am, E-Double wrote:| For me I sort of get the opposite in that if I am too calm LOOK OUT! T |
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Ditto. If I'm visibly upset, it's usually something that will blow over quickly. If I get real calm and real quiet, that's when I've gotten to the point of being dangerous, because that's when I'm a ruthless machine. The last time I was at that point was in Desert Storm. I would prefer never to be in that state of mind again. It's scary to me. In those moments, I am fully capable of murder. Not a very flattering form of self-knowledge...
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E-Double
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Re: personal evil
« Reply #17 on: Nov 19th, 2004, 8:45am » |
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I hear ya brother....
the biggest thing is learning from it. Being able to control certain behaviors and attempting to be proactive so that certain reactions are not evoked.
There's a little bit of "it" in us all.
Makes ya stronger for acknowledging it and dealing with it.
Later Tough guy
E.
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I can't believe that I have to bang my
Head against this wall again
But the blows they have just a little more
Space in-between them
Gonna take a breath and try again.
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john_d
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exactly Jeep, the older I get, the more I find myself saying 'There, but for the grace of God, go I'. I am capable of the worst, but goddammit all I want to be is a warm-hearted, kind spiritually mature human being. Is that too much to ask? well, maybe at least for now I will just shoot for warm-hearted, lol.
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Jimmy_B.
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Re: personal evil
« Reply #19 on: Nov 19th, 2004, 8:54am » |
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There's something about driving a car, that makes a person more violent & unforgiving then most people would normally be. I believe it has to do with the anonymity that goes along with it. It's hard to see the other driver. I've seen big dudes flipping off & threatening old ladies. It's unbelievable.
I need to carry a firearm for my job. I have a Glock 9mm & a Colt Python .357 Magnum that I use, depending upon my mood  . I know restraint & would never pull it on someone unless my life or the life of someone I was entrusted to care for, was in danger. But, it cracks me up when someone begins following me or tail-gating me cause I'm only driving 10 miles over the speed limit. I think...how stupid, this guy doesn't realize he's pissing off an armed person  .
Point is...you never know who you're getting ready to do battle with. Tis better to let something so stupid, go.
Hell John, in New Jersey...flipping someone off while driving...is our way of saying "Have a nice day" We call it the "State Bird".
Jimmy
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| « Last Edit: Nov 19th, 2004, 8:57am by Jimmy_B. » |
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ExplodingEyeBall
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Re: personal evil
« Reply #20 on: Nov 19th, 2004, 8:58am » |
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I shouldn't even get started with the things I have been through in traffic while working in Chicago the Chicago Suburbs.
I could make an entire 5 page thread out of it.
I just have to say that I agree that a lot of idiot drivers get lucky daily that hter people DON'T carry weapons.
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Just poke out my eye and get it over with!!!
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Jeepgun
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John, I think that recognizing and acknowledging the worst parts of ourselves IS a part of spiritual maturity and self-knowledge. If we can come to acceptance of even the worst aspects of ourselves, then we can have compassion and acceptance for those things that we see reflected back to us in other people.
-Frank
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E-Double
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Re: personal evil
« Reply #22 on: Nov 19th, 2004, 9:05am » |
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on Nov 19th, 2004, 9:02am, Jeepgun wrote:John, I think that recognizing and acknowledging the worst parts of ourselves IS a part of spiritual maturity and self-knowledge. If we can come to acceptance of even the worst aspects of ourselves, then we can have compassion and acceptance for those things that we see reflected back to us in other people.
-Frank |
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DAMN STRAIGHT!!!!!!
Nailed it
E.
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I can't believe that I have to bang my
Head against this wall again
But the blows they have just a little more
Space in-between them
Gonna take a breath and try again.
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john_d
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I bring this up based on you and Dons mention of Boston and New Jersey road behavior. An interesting sociology study that was done.
They got about a bunch of male volunteers, about 50% native from a southern state and about 50% native from a north-eastern state. They told them that they were going down a hall to fill out a questionare. But as they walked down the hall, a guy would ram them with his shoulder and continue without apologizing. The overwhelming result was the southern guys would get seriously offended, while the northern guys would not think all that much of it.
They concluded that the southern gentlemen mentality was still in play from way back. Things are actually a little different down south.
The Davis part of my family is southern from way back, mostly Georgia.
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john_d
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on Nov 19th, 2004, 9:02am, Jeepgun wrote:John, I think that recognizing and acknowledging the worst parts of ourselves IS a part of spiritual maturity and self-knowledge. If we can come to acceptance of even the worst aspects of ourselves, then we can have compassion and acceptance for those things that we see reflected back to us in other people.
-Frank |
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Right on. Dude, I like you more and more, thanks for coming around here.
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