Author |
Topic: Awakening (Read 183 times) |
|
Jeepgun
Guest
|
AWAKENING
Wandering wandering
Starless void
Flatlined on the flat plain
Miles of smothering nothingness
Snowblind blizzard of blackness
Banished exiled cast away to reel and fall.
I invoke the obsidian albatross of memory
Handful of mind-dust to be blown by the
Uncaring wind are these remembrances.
In your head I am dead
As though I had never been
As though I had never loved you worn your
Tears, laughed with you or stood with you in
The very fires of hell.
So disposable forgettable and not worthy of
Even one care, or so it seems, and part of me
Has fallen into that black hole in
Your mind, that empty pit that you disappear
With the mirrors of rationalization,
Until you have pinched the light from the
Skies and raked the land
Smooth like stone.
Leave me with no shelter.
Leave me with no recourse.
Leave me lying beside the highway in
A weed-grown ditch
With your dagger jutting from my ribs.
Cold
Cold
Cold
Cold
Coldwater seeps through my veins and freezes
My ticktock heart
In here, this place of nothing, this
Forgotten space in you,
I die
Die
Die
Die
Die
And cry myself into the long sleep.
Until...
Until...
Until I scrounge the shards of my pride and
Weave armor from their edges that tear my fingers.
I bleed warpaint and feel the great beast stir within me.
Call upon the marrow of my very bones for strength as I
Rise to my feet in defiance.
Who are you to abandon me?!
Who are you to cast me away?!
Who are you to condemn me to this eternal night?!
You are nothing!
Nothing!
Nothing!
Nothing!
Nothing! I chant like a roaring mantra and
Triumphantly kick a hole in the sky
Punch through and slip the noose of nightblind from
My neck as blessed bluesky floods through
The cracks and great draughts of light I
Drink like a man parched with thirst.
Tears of joy course down my cheeks and I am alive!
Cool soft rain descends like the sweet hands
Of angels on my red eyes.
I am alive!!!
I refuse to die and
I AM
GLORIOUSLY
DEFIANTLY
TRIUMPHANTLY
ALIVE!!!
-Frank H. Weeden
|
|
 IP Logged |
|
|
|
nani
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Got kudzu?
Gender: 
Posts: 7953
|
 |
Re: Awakening
« Reply #1 on: Nov 18th, 2004, 3:46pm » |
 Quote  Modify
|
wow...
|
|
IP Logged |
Others may come and go, but MY power is MINE.
|
|
|
Ronny
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Yabba Dabba Doo
 
Gender: 
Posts: 914
|
|
Re: Awakening
« Reply #2 on: Nov 18th, 2004, 4:02pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Intense !
|
|
IP Logged |
Count your rainbows, not your thunderstorms.
|
|
|
Jeepgun
Guest
|
Written shortly after my sister, for reasons unknown, completely cut me out of her life fourteen years ago, refusing all contact.   
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
ExplodingEyeBall
New Board Hall of Famer
I can't think of anything clever to put here.
Gender:
Posts: 2589
|
|
Re: Awakening
« Reply #4 on: Nov 18th, 2004, 4:37pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Frank,
I have never been one to read poetry (besides dirty limericks) because it usually bores me to within an inch of suicide.
Just because of who you are, I chose to at least read a couple of your poetic posts. Your stuff moves me so deeply, I have to go back and read it again to make sure I didn't miss any of it.
This last one hit me close to home. It wasn't a sister though. Instead, it was a very close friend who everybody thought would never turn his back on me. One day, I asked him to be my best man after I met Becky.
I have only talked him about 10 times since then. Over 14 years now. Your poem expressed my feelings on this one pretty good.
Thanks.
Pat
|
| « Last Edit: Nov 18th, 2004, 4:38pm by ExplodingEyeBall » |
IP Logged |
Just poke out my eye and get it over with!!!
|
|
|
Jeepgun
Guest
|
Thanks, Pat. It's been sort of a recurring theme in my life. I would want someone like me for a friend: I am loyal to a fault, trustworthy, and I will defend a friend to the very death, but somehow, I end up being disposable. I don't know if I'll ever understand that...  If there's anything that can shake my belief in the basic goodness of human beings, it is this. 
Thank you for your kind comments. I appreciate it.
-Frank
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
lionsound
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
breathe
Gender:
Posts: 2021
|
|
Re: Awakening
« Reply #6 on: Nov 18th, 2004, 4:53pm » |
Quote Modify
|
on Nov 18th, 2004, 4:30pm, Jeepgun wrote:| Written shortly after my sister, for reasons unknown, completely cut me out of her life fourteen years ago, refusing all contact. |
|
Her loss entirely.
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
LeLimey
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
OUCH-US - Less "ME" and more "WE"
Gender:
Posts: 11720
|
|
Re: Awakening
« Reply #7 on: Nov 18th, 2004, 5:53pm » |
Quote Modify
|
on Nov 18th, 2004, 4:53pm, lionsound wrote:
Her loss entirely.
|
|
Ditto!
I'll adopt you.. I could do with a baby brother!! 
This reminds me though... where is VIG?????
|
|
IP Logged |
The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
|
|
|
PerryGR
New Board Veteran
Gender:
Posts: 106
|
|
Re: Awakening
« Reply #8 on: Nov 18th, 2004, 6:04pm » |
Quote Modify
|
on Nov 18th, 2004, 4:02pm, Ronny wrote:
Can't find a better word.
PFDAN to all,
Perry.
PS: Thnx for sharing your poetry Frank.
|
|
IP Logged |
Haven't posted in a while so let me re-introduce myself... Male, 25y.o., CCH sufferer for a little bit more than 5 years. Verapamil and Lithium seem to work well at the moment.
|
|
|
Ruth
New Board Veteran
Gender:
Posts: 129
|
|
Re: Awakening
« Reply #9 on: Nov 18th, 2004, 6:14pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Just tossed aside like a dirty rag.
I no that feeling and it stinks and people who do it stink.
So they can just live in their stink.
That's what I stink!
Great Poem Franko
Ruth
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Jeepgun
Guest
|
Thanks, everyone! Helen, I humbly accept the honor of being your adopted brother. 
Lionsound, this is my feeling as well: Her loss. Growing up, the one thing I could always count on, is that after she got whatever she wanted from me, she would go right back to being cruel. I'm better off without her in my life. Some things ARE stronger than blood!
Thanks, Perry.
LOL, Ruth! I got a chuckle out of your response and it's so true, isn't it? The feeling of being thrown aside...
Thanks again.
-Frank
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Home
Help
Search
Members
Member Map
Login
Register
Reply
Notify of replies
Send Topic
Print
Remove
test rss