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Topic: Marriage!! In honour of E-Double (Read 351 times) |
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LeLimey
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Marriage!! In honour of E-Double
« on: Nov 12th, 2004, 4:51pm » |
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Bearing in mind this chap is on his final countdown I thought there must be a wealth of advice here we can give him huh?
I'll start the ball rolling with a list I got emailed just before I got married...
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take a little time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, soft music and dancing... she goes tuesdays and I go thursdays.
Henry Youngman
Marriage has driven more than one man to sex
Peter De Vries
Husbands: a small band of men, armed only with wallets, besieged by a horde of wives and children
National Lampoon
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who will give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness?
It means you are in the wrong house, that's what it means.
George Burns
Bigamy is having one wife too many, monogamy is the same
Oscar Wilde
Love isn't looking into each others eyes but looking together in the same direction
antoine de Saint-Exupery
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The arsehole I'm divorcing needs to get a life and stop stalking mine
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Jonny
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Re: Marriage!! In honour of E-Double
« Reply #1 on: Nov 12th, 2004, 5:06pm » |
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RUN AWAY WHILE YOU CAN!!!
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Lizzie2
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Re: Marriage!! In honour of E-Double
« Reply #2 on: Nov 12th, 2004, 5:52pm » |
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"Mawidge is what bwings us togethuw today. Today...we aww hewe to celebwate the cewemony of Mawidge."~The Princess Bride
May it be the happiest day ever for both of you!!!!
L2 
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vig
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Re: Marriage!! In honour of E-Double
« Reply #3 on: Nov 12th, 2004, 6:00pm » |
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"The secret to a long and happy marriage?
Stay the F*ck away from each other."
- Denis Leary
Good luck EE
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| « Last Edit: Nov 12th, 2004, 6:01pm by vig » |
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never, Never, NEVER quit. -Winston Churchill
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alleyoop
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Re: Marriage!! In honour of E-Double
« Reply #5 on: Nov 12th, 2004, 6:39pm » |
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Marriage is like a pair of shears Oft times working in opposite directions, but punishing anyone that comes between them.
--Sydney Smith
Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy.
--Gary Busey
Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage
--Gloria Steinem
Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence.
--King Vidor
Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts
--Jeff Foxworthy
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
--Benjamin Franklin
Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside equally desperate to get out.
--Michel de Montaigne
They say love is blind...and marriage is an institution. Well, I'm not ready for an institution for the blind just yet.
--Mae West
If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.
--Unknown
Marriages are made in heaven. But, again, so are thunder, lightning, tornados and hail
--Unknown
A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' come together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.
--Dave Meurer
For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.
--Bill Cosby
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I know that the Good Lord won't put any more on you than you can stand, but sometimes I wish He weren't quite so PROUD of ME!
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alleyoop
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Re: Marriage!! In honour of E-Double
« Reply #6 on: Nov 12th, 2004, 6:42pm » |
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MARRIAGE, n.
[1] the dawn of romance and the commencement of
history;
[2] a word that should be pronounced as "mirage";
[3] an event, for the upper middle class, is the
only adventure left;
[4] a very good way to promote civilization - if
you get a good wife you will be happy, if you get
a bad one you will become a philosopher
{Socrates};
[5] a process much like a cafeteria - you
carefully look over the choices, select what looks
the best - and pay later;
[6] an event which is called "tying the knot" -
unfortunately, the knot can be a noose;
[7] a word which always means commitment - but so
does insanity;
[8] a ceremony favored in England - it's the only
way to beat their cold winters and lack of central
heating;
[9] something that changes the demeanor of a
driver - there is no longer any effort needed to
keep both hands on the wheel;
[10] the only permanent cure for love;
[11] is only compatible when the man makes a
living and his wife makes living worthwhile;
[12] the only adventure open to the cowardly;
[13] something which is called a feast -
unfortunately, sometimes the appetizer is better
than the main course;
[14] a group which consists of: a master, a
mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two;
[15] the alliance of two people, one who never
remembers birthdays, and the other who never
forgets them;
[16] the process that turns a female from an
attraction into a distraction;
[17] a legal custom which turns a man into the
captive audience of his wife;
[18] that ceremony which makes more strange
bedfellows than politics;
[19] a rite where two people, under the influence
most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most
transient of passions, are required to swear that
they will remain in that excited, abnormal and
exhausting condition until death do them part;
[20] occurs where a man gets hooked by his own
line;
[21] in America, is the only legal method of
suppressing freedom of speech;
[22] is made out of two toothbrushes but a single
tube of toothpaste;
[23] is just a three-ring circus: engagement,
wedding, and suffer;
[24] the process of finding out the kind of guy
your wife would have preferred;
[25] a condition where no wife gets what she
expected, and no husband expected what he was
getting;
[26] the ceremony which provides a man with
something that, sooner or later, he will find he
can't blame on the government;
[27] a tradition which would suffer considerably
if men had to pay the minister the same fee they
will eventually have to pay the divorce lawyer;
[28] is much like a pair of shears, so joined so
the parts cannot be separated, often moving in
opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone
who tries to come between them;
[29] the continuous process of getting used to
things you never expected;
[30] a status which depends upon two to be
successful but only one to turn into a failure;
[31] is a book in which the first chapter is
written in poetry and the rest of the pages is
prose;
[32] a bargain, and a sensible person understands
that someone must get the better of any bargain;
[33] in Japanese is called "Judo" - the art of
conquering by yielding. This is the western
equivalent of "Yes, dear";
[34] a confrontation which always demands the
greatest understanding of the subtle art of
insincerity possible between two human beings;
[35] is not a word, but a sentence;
[36] a delightful form of combat where you get to
sleep with the enemy;
[37] an investment that pays big dividends if you
manage to keep up the interest.
.............alley
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I know that the Good Lord won't put any more on you than you can stand, but sometimes I wish He weren't quite so PROUD of ME!
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kimh
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Re: Marriage!! In honour of E-Double
« Reply #7 on: Nov 12th, 2004, 6:43pm » |
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Well, E,
I have been examining my own 15-year marriage in the hopes our experiences can be of help to ya.....
Always make each other laugh.
A good fite once in a while is usually followed by awsome sex 
Cook together a lot (try all kinds of recipes)
Take lots of pics of the two of you now, cuz b4 ya know it yer gonna look like the Fruit of the Loom people 
Kay. That's it Best wishes to you both***
Kim
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E-Double
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Re: Marriage!! In honour of E-Double
« Reply #8 on: Nov 12th, 2004, 10:25pm » |
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you guys made my day!
TY.....
I like Jonny's advice but too much $$$ invested already I'll have to wait and see if she hits the lotto before I bail..J/K
E.
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I can't believe that I have to bang my
Head against this wall again
But the blows they have just a little more
Space in-between them
Gonna take a breath and try again.
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Charlie
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Re: Marriage!! In honour of E-Double
« Reply #9 on: Nov 13th, 2004, 1:00am » |
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It's great if you love each other but it's more important that you LIKE each other.
Not sure who said that. Me for now.
Charlie (Good stuff kids.
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Mr. Happy
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Re: Marriage!! In honour of E-Double
« Reply #10 on: Nov 13th, 2004, 2:02am » |
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Marriage. At the time, it always seems like the right thing to do.
Kinda like having kids,
RJ
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May those who don't want any
Have memories of never getting any.
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sandie99
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Re: Marriage!! In honour of E-Double
« Reply #11 on: Nov 13th, 2004, 3:45am » |
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Hmmm.... I've never been married, but all the working relationships in my life have been based on communication and honesty.
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CH happends, Live anyway! PF days to us all!
"Do what you can and let God take care of the rest. Leave your heart wide open and always wish for the best" (Sanna Hillu)
"No matter how far out your dreams are, it's possible" (Marketa Irglova)
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BobG
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Re: Marriage!! In honour of E-Double
« Reply #12 on: Nov 13th, 2004, 4:55am » |
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I have no idea of what makes a marriage work and I won't say how long I've been married but it is long enough that we have a 17 year old Grandaughter. You do the math.
Take a good hard look at the bride-to-be's mother.......
in about ten years that is the women you will be married to. If you don't care for the future mother in law, now is the time to RUN!
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| « Last Edit: Nov 13th, 2004, 9:29am by BobG » |
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karma
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Re: Marriage!! In honour of E-Double
« Reply #13 on: Nov 13th, 2004, 7:44am » |
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"Marriage don't change a thing but kids do"
me.
The cycle of sex and marraige:
Anywhere sex
Before and for the first five years after your married you have sex anywhere, anytime, anyhow
Bedroom sex
five to ten years of marriage its only in the bedroom and only when you both manage to go to bed at the same time.
Hallway sex
10 to 15 years of marraige. This is when you pass each other in the hallway and greet each other with Fuck You.
Memory sex.
after 15 years
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Karla
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Re: Marriage!! In honour of E-Double
« Reply #14 on: Nov 13th, 2004, 1:21pm » |
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Stealing a quote from the Bible. "Never let the sun go down upon your wrath." I have been married 20 years now and we have never gone to bed mad at eachother. Somenights that commitment ment sitting up the other half of the night talking. But it worked. Communication is so important in a marriage. Good luck!
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Karla
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Miklos
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Re: Marriage!! In honour of E-Double
« Reply #15 on: Nov 13th, 2004, 2:20pm » |
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You are about to be married - and are, of course, in all the misery of a man in pursuit of happiness.
Lord Byron
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Don't be offended by my frank analysis. Think of it as personality dialysis.
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Jonny
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Re: Marriage!! In honour of E-Double
« Reply #16 on: Nov 13th, 2004, 3:15pm » |
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on Nov 12th, 2004, 10:25pm, E-Double wrote:I like Jonny's advice but too much $$$ invested already I'll have to wait and see if she hits the lotto before I bail..J/K
E. |
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You got me there Dude.....LMMFAO
Good luck my brother!!
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cschick
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Re: Marriage!! In honour of E-Double
« Reply #17 on: Nov 13th, 2004, 4:22pm » |
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ALWAYS kiss each other and say "I Love You" before leaving your home each morning. Keeps me going through the day. Never take each other for granted and never go to bed angry.
Enjoy your life together.
Karen
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Grandma_Sweet_Boy
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Re: Marriage!! In honour of E-Double
« Reply #18 on: Nov 13th, 2004, 9:06pm » |
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I'm with Charlie on this one - it's very important that you like one another! All the best to you Eric.
Carol
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Melissa
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Re: Marriage!! In honour of E-Double
« Reply #19 on: Nov 13th, 2004, 9:36pm » |
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1. Go into this marriage together with an agreement that you'll always work through your problems instead of giving up.
2. Make sure you can picture yourself growing old with each other and having grandkids running about the house.
3. Whenever things start to get tough, remember back to the reasons you married each other in the first place.
Congrats and much happiness to you!
mel
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lionsound
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Re: Marriage!! In honour of E-Double
« Reply #20 on: Nov 15th, 2004, 12:52pm » |
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Look into Joanna's eyes while you are standing under the Chupa.........
It's all there.........everything you will ever need.
-R
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Jeepgun
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Re: Marriage!! In honour of E-Double
« Reply #21 on: Nov 15th, 2004, 1:59pm » |
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In the thirteen years that Mari and I have been together, the one thing that has sustained us through all of the "outrageous slings and arrows" of life, is a deep and abiding friendship. Passion comes and goes. There are times of closeness and deep intimacy and times when both of you might as well be on opposite sides of the planet. Your friendship, respect, and LIKE for each other is what will steady the ship no matter the storms that come. Laugh a lot. Life is simply too absurd to be taken seriously. Find ways to laugh together at things, and your lives will be full of joy. Give the finances over to one person, and to the other, give pocket money. This seems like a silly thing, but it will prevent an awful lot of argument over money. Don't be in such a hurry to have children. There is nothing that strains a marriage more, than the responsibility that an infant, baby, and young child requires. Take a couple of years and enjoy your time with each other.
My best to you both.
-Frank
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