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Topic: life (Read 268 times) |
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cschick
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Do you ever just want to say Fuck It All and just crawl into a hole and never get out. I am so tired. My head hurts so bad I want to cut it off. My husband left me home alone with a child full of energy and left to go watch football. I can't take this anymore. I had a week PF and now I am more miserable than before. I have to do something to get out of this. I am having a reaction to my meds and my dr. is out of town and the nurse offered me an appt. the 29th of November. stupid bitch. I am getting so dizzy and lightheaded I just fell and hit my head on the table. I can't keep going like this. I want to die. I don't like feeling like this anymore. I want to go now. I have so many people leaning on me and I can't take anymore. I can't hear worth a shit since July when my eardrum ruptured and my hearing aides are broke. I can't afford to get them fixed, they only had a year warranty and that is up. I want to go to sleep and never wake up. I just got paid on Friday and my checking account is empty. Colin wants to play and I don't want to. I am not a very good mother right now and he doesn't deserve that. I had a week PF and now it is worse than ever. I was thinking I was coming to the end of my cycle but no. I have been having k7-k10's all day. I worked all day plus OT. I just keep pushing and pushing and I can't do it anymore. I just keep thinking why do I even bother, what good is this doing? none, that's what. I have to go now.
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thomas
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on Nov 8th, 2004, 9:05pm, cschick wrote:
No, you don't have to go now, and you shouldn't go now. I know that I have been right where you are right now. It WILL get better........ You've just got to look for that light at the end of the tunnel and keep walking toward it.
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E-Double
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Are we ourselves?
  
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Re: life
« Reply #2 on: Nov 8th, 2004, 9:09pm » |
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on Nov 8th, 2004, 9:05pm, cschick wrote:| I just keep thinking why do I even bother, what good is this doing? |
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Your little guy. that's why!!!
Hang in there love!!
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I can't believe that I have to bang my
Head against this wall again
But the blows they have just a little more
Space in-between them
Gonna take a breath and try again.
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alleyoop
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Wake me up when it's all over.
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Re: life
« Reply #3 on: Nov 8th, 2004, 9:11pm » |
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Hang tough! This too shall pass. We're here! We care!
...................alley 
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I know that the Good Lord won't put any more on you than you can stand, but sometimes I wish He weren't quite so PROUD of ME!
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broomhilda
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Ride it!
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Re: life
« Reply #4 on: Nov 8th, 2004, 9:15pm » |
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 Hang in there, we do care and are here for you........lean on others for a change and hug your little one, he loves you....
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Suck it up Princess...
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purpleydog
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Re: life
« Reply #5 on: Nov 8th, 2004, 9:16pm » |
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Hang in there dear. I know just how you feel. It will get better. Keep going forward, it's the only way to go.
PD
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nani
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Re: life
« Reply #6 on: Nov 8th, 2004, 9:30pm » |
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Karen- I tried to call you hun. I'll try again later. Give Colin his art stuff and have him get ready for bed. He can draw in bed and maybe fall asleep that way. Get your broccoli and cigarettes and settle in for the long haul. I know it's hard, sweetie... but you gotta hang on. For you and for Colin. Screw everybody else! Hang tough...you KNOW you are. Anyone who has cluster headaches is a badass tough mofo!!! 
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Others may come and go, but MY power is MINE.
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Magick
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Boy do I feel for you. Everyone is leaning on you but you just don't have it in you. I just think of my son and it keeps me going. 
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thebbz
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Ow,Ow,Ow
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Re: life
« Reply #8 on: Nov 8th, 2004, 9:37pm » |
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Aw come on kick the shit out of that demon no good @#$%$& &^... . Keep up the fight
BB
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It wasn't me I didn't do it
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ClusterChuck
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The BEAST rises again, and again, and again, and .
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Re: life
« Reply #9 on: Nov 8th, 2004, 9:42pm » |
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Don't give up! We are tough ass ba$tards!
Bitch and cry and scream all you want. We are here for you. That is what is great about this place. We are the only ones the truely know what you are going through.
I sent you a PM with my phone number. Call me. I will call you right back, as I have unlimited long distance. Or send me your phone number, and I will call you.
Hang tough. We are all behind you and pulling for you!
Chuck (who has many times questioned "Why go on?"
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"No man can be happy without a friend, nor be sure of his friend till he is unhappy."
Thomas Fuller
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Opus
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(Insert witty comment here)
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Re: life
« Reply #10 on: Nov 8th, 2004, 9:57pm » |
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CS,
Hang in there, I am where you are. We will make it. You are a great Mother, Sounds like your child needs a good Dad right now. Don't blame yourself.
Opus/Paul
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Zed-Zed-nine plural-Zed alpha,
There is no place like home.
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Tim_Z
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Re: life
« Reply #11 on: Nov 9th, 2004, 12:52am » |
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Hang in there CS. When I'm at that point in my cycle where every headache is a 9 or 10 it's about to end. I know it doesn't seem like it but it will get better. Keep fighting.
Tim
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Gator
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Re: life
« Reply #12 on: Nov 9th, 2004, 3:50am » |
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I feel your pain. We all do. As bad as things can get, they do get better. Keep on fighting. You have a young one there that needs his mother. Hang tough for Colin.
You have a great outlet here for your frustration, both in the message board and with the people on it. Reach out or let someone reach in. It does help to vent, especially to someone who understands.
I pray things get better for you very quickly.
Mike
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Jeepgun
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Keep fighting the good fight. Just when the cycle ramps up and gets really evil is the very point where you start to get some relief, so keep on hangin' in there. It won't be long, now. We've all been there...  Keep on winning!
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Tara Ann
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It's always darkest before the dawn.
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Re: life
« Reply #14 on: Nov 9th, 2004, 9:39am » |
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You CAN do it and You WILL do it, if not for yourself but for your little boy. My kids have always been my lifeline literally when I just wanted to call it quits. You just keep thinking that. And lean on everyone else. NO ONE IS MADE OF STONE! God knows I've learned that the hard way! You hang in there hun and we'll keep rootin for ya and sending you lotsa vibes!
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http://www.myspace.com/taraann77
 
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nani
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Got kudzu?
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Re: life
« Reply #15 on: Nov 9th, 2004, 10:08am » |
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Karen- I beleive that I saw a dust bunny fly out from behind the fridge when you knocked Chris' head into it. You better get on it girl - you're slippin' ... 
Is that a fingerprint on the lightswitch?!
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Others may come and go, but MY power is MINE.
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lionsound
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breathe
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Re: life
« Reply #16 on: Nov 9th, 2004, 10:09am » |
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on Nov 8th, 2004, 9:05pm, cschick wrote:| Do you ever just want to say Fuck It All and just crawl into a hole and never get out. |
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yes, I have. I've said and thought these exact same words.
You are doing a great job. You are a great mom and Colin loves you very much. I have kids too and I've learned that they like Mommy if my head hurts or not. You ARE the Mommy he deserves! You're his favorite! If you can't play you can still give hugs and snuggles and tell him you love him. That'll make you feel better too! 
Be well and PF,
lionsound
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cschick
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Just wanted to say thanks to all. I just typed and typed last night to get it all out. I really didn't realize how bad that all sounded. I am ok. I was just feeling a lot of pressure but am better today. I came up to St Louis today to be with my sister - she had gastric bypass today. She is doing ok. Quite groggy. I am going to spend the night at the hospital tomorrow night and won't be around the rest of this week. I am staying up here until Sunday then going on home. I will probably head out early Sunday so I can go home and make sure my house doesn't look like a tornado went through! You know what I am talking about Nani and by the way I got the dust bunny and my light switches are SPARKLING clean. I forgot my O2 - good thing I will be at the hospital - unlimited supply of oxygen!  Hope you are all PF and have a wonderful week.
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thomas
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Say hi to Jim and Sue while you're there.
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unsolved1
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on Nov 8th, 2004, 9:05pm, cschick wrote:| I have been having k7-k10's all day. I worked all day plus OT. |
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 UNSOLVED
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