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Topic: I need prayers! My heart is breaking! (Read 577 times) |
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Karla
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I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
« on: Oct 20th, 2004, 9:18am » |
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My 18 yr old son ran away from home on Sunday. He hadn't attended school in a month and was scheduled to register for night school so he could still get his diploma. But he never got the registration date from me so it looks like he wont be graduating this year. However he went out to have lunch with a friend who was leaving state and never came home. She said she dropped him off at a park with other friends. We have a rough idea who he is with but a first name only. No last name or address. A girl friend of his intercepted him the other night and tried to talk him into comming home to just talk and try to work things out. He wouldn't do it. I don't know what it is he is going through but know it is something big. He owes the cell phone company 1500 and the credit card company 500 and has an ordiance for possesion of pot for 100 to pay and has no job or money to his name. All he seems to want to do is hang out and smoke sigs and shoot pool. My husband says he refuses to pay the fine for possession and will let the cops arrest him and he can sit in jail. Then we will visit him and he will find out who his true friends are. The kid had so much potential a year ago. I just don't know what turned him around. Gang involvement may have something to do with it.
Anyway, I haven't been sleeping well and am having a hard time focusing at school without keep crying. This is effecting our whole family and I feel ready for a mental breakdown or drug relapse. However, I know I need to be strong, not take this personal, and stay close to God to get through this. However, I feel very week spiritually right now and I could sure use the prayers and vibes of the family to get me through this crisis. Seeing him ruin his life and the not knowing is killing me.
Thanks for your support,
Love,
karla
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Karla
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E-Double
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Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
« Reply #2 on: Oct 20th, 2004, 9:25am » |
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Hang in there!!!!!
I can not empathize for i do not have children but I personnally went through something similar as he appears to be going through many years ago.
I wish I never put my folks through that yet things have worked out and I have turned my life around substantially.
There is hope and truth. It will work out.
Best to you and your family and do whatcha gotta do.
Tons of love and support!!
Eric
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kimh
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Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
« Reply #3 on: Oct 20th, 2004, 9:35am » |
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Karla,
I just read your post. This is every parent's worst nightmare and i will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Sending you STRENGTH and FAITH vibes. You are going to need a LOT of support and I hope you and your husband seek out some kind of support system!!!
I am not in your shoes and probably not in a position to offer advice, however, i believe that sometimes the most loving thing you can do is let your children fall flat on their face and choose whether to get up or take the consequences of their actions....
Hang in there!!!!!!!!!!
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Gator
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Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
« Reply #4 on: Oct 20th, 2004, 10:11am » |
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You have my thoughts and prayers. I went through some of this with my oldest son. Despite many warnings, he had to learn the hard way that, "You are known by who you associate with." His associates got arrested for armed robbery and drug use. He just happened to be at their house playing video games at the time of the raid on the house. He got arrested and got a taste of the legal system. Many weeks and even more dollars later, we were finally able to prove he was out of town with us during the robbery and a series of court ordered and voluntary drug tests proved he did not smoke pot. He graduated high school and went into the Army. He's doing pretty good. He is still hard headed and has to learn things for himself, but he chooses his "friends" better.
Parent's like to blame themselves for their childrens' failures, even when we shouldn't. I'm sure you did everything in your power to bring him up right as did my wife and I. Some people, like my oldest son, can't be told anything. They have to live it themselves and learn the lesson the hard way. Sometimes what they call "Tough Love" is the only way to handle a situation.
Solomon in Proverbs 22:6 said, "Raise up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” I know you have planted good seeds. Have faith and they may yet grow in your son.
I am praying for you and your son.
Mike
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AlienSpaceBabe
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Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
« Reply #5 on: Oct 20th, 2004, 10:58am » |
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Prayers are with you.....
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vig
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Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
« Reply #6 on: Oct 20th, 2004, 11:00am » |
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Let him know there IS a way out.
and let HIM find it.
(even if you lead the trail with crumbs.)
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Tiannia
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Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
« Reply #7 on: Oct 20th, 2004, 11:29am » |
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Karla, I am sorry hun. Your children are your heart that walks and lives outside your body. You can show them the road and the paths that lead the right direction. Just hold him in your heart. You all will get though it, but he will have some hard lessons to learn on his own. It takes a while for kids to realize that you really do understand, and are there to help. He is lucky to have parents who want to be there for him.
Be strong,
-Tia
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Opus
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Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
« Reply #8 on: Oct 20th, 2004, 11:38am » |
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Karla,
Praying for him and you. Be strong, when you have done all you can then he is in God's hands. That is usually the best place to be. Wipe you tears and give thanks that he is not alone.
Opus/Paul
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echo
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Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
« Reply #9 on: Oct 20th, 2004, 12:42pm » |
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Sorry to read of this situation Karla. Wish there was something other than raising prayer that would help you with this. Hopefully he will soon see that he is in desperate need of his parents love and support.
Sitting a few days in a cell may help to give him a wake up call.
Mark
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nani
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Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
« Reply #10 on: Oct 20th, 2004, 12:52pm » |
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Karla- I really sympathize with your pain. I have been through it and I know how incredibly painful it can be. There is some wisdom to letting the chips fall where they may, and it is probably the best thing you can do for him. I know how making that choice can hurt you, too. Hang in there. We're all sending prayers and vibes and  Remember to take care of yourself ... it doesn't always come naturally for Moms.
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ArCane
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Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
« Reply #11 on: Oct 20th, 2004, 1:34pm » |
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Prayers going out to you and yours, Karla. I don't have any real advice for you, seeings how Im close to your sons age. All I can say is have the faith that everything will work out in the end and stay strong!!
Love,
Allen
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fubar
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Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
« Reply #12 on: Oct 20th, 2004, 2:11pm » |
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I'm going through the same exact thing right now with my 14 yr old. No easy answers.
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Carl_D
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Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
« Reply #13 on: Oct 20th, 2004, 2:18pm » |
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 Sorry to hear this Karla. Sending vibes and prayers for you and your family.
Peace,
Carl D
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Charlie
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Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
« Reply #14 on: Oct 20th, 2004, 3:01pm » |
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Very sorry to learn this Karla. I don't have kids but I was one and know what an utter idiot I was. If I weren't such a homebody, who knows what I would have done?
My hope is that you can track hime down before the police do. That's rarely something to look forward to.
All my hopes and wishes Karla.
Charlie
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ZAIRA
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Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
« Reply #15 on: Oct 20th, 2004, 4:12pm » |
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You are in my prayers to the Almighty God of Heaven, may he comfort you.
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Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
« Reply #16 on: Oct 20th, 2004, 4:50pm » |
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Karla--I hope and pray your son comes home to you.
TomM
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clarence
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Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
« Reply #17 on: Oct 20th, 2004, 4:56pm » |
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Karla,
Praying for you and your son and your husband.
Casey
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Jonny
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Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
« Reply #18 on: Oct 20th, 2004, 5:10pm » |
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Let him sit in jail...."Lay in the bed you make."
Worked for me!
Sorry, Karla, but the kid needs a slap upside the head and if he dont get it, it will just get worse.
Thinking of you, Babe
..................................jonny
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Grandma_Sweet_Boy
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Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
« Reply #19 on: Oct 20th, 2004, 5:14pm » |
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I believe they always find their way back to the teachings of the family. It just takes some longer than others and sometimes they really do need to find out the hard way. Life lessons can be really tough.
Hoping for you that it all works out okay in the end. Hang in there Mom! I expect most of us who have raised kids have been in your shoes at some point.
Carol
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Big Dan
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Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
« Reply #20 on: Oct 20th, 2004, 5:41pm » |
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Jonny and Mark nailed it...
... us kids are stupid, but he'll realise his mistake....
Prayers on the way for you and your boy.
-Big Dan
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Jayne
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Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
« Reply #21 on: Oct 20th, 2004, 5:50pm » |
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It sounds as though he has made some mistakes and just can't see how he will fix them, so he's given up even trying.
Like Vig said, he needs to know that these problems he has can be fixed, it just won't be overnight.
I am praying for you Karla.
Love
Jayne
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Kevin_M
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Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
« Reply #22 on: Oct 20th, 2004, 9:51pm » |
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on Oct 20th, 2004, 9:18am, Karla wrote:[color=Purple]All he seems to want to do is hang out and smoke sigs and shoot pool.
Gang involvement may have something to do with it. |
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Unfortunately he is within a separate subculture removed from society as you know it. Yesterday, or anything done outside his present lifestyle doesn't matter to him. The only thing that does is what it takes to keep hanging where he is. It's his strongest interest and he'll neglect anything else to be where he identifies.
Bad credit is of no concern, credit has served it's purpose to him, responsibility is avoided. The $100.00 ordinance is a shrug and adds to the "edge" lifestyle.
He sounds young to be able to survive out there so he'll attempt changes, but as soon as there's money in his hand...
They are trying to turn people around now instead of incarceration. Some though, it takes the second time to get the message, but that will be the last. He'll be ok if he makes that turn without a felony.
Kevin M
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lionsound
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Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
« Reply #23 on: Oct 20th, 2004, 9:58pm » |
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I'll be thinking about you and your family.
May you all be safe and well.
And Karla,
Please take care of yourself too.
-lionsound
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Karla
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Re: I need prayers! My heart is breaking!
« Reply #24 on: Oct 20th, 2004, 11:31pm » |
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Thank you all for your kind words, prayer, and very meaningful support. It is so wonderful to have family like you. You have helped to give me a more positive outlook on this situation despite the possible outcome. I love you all, Karla
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Karla
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