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Topic: Figure everyone can use a smile on Monday Morning. (Read 197 times) |
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Tiannia
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Figure everyone can use a smile on Monday Morning.
« on: Oct 18th, 2004, 10:57am » |
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You can't read this and stay in a bad mood !
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.
2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path
4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.
5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!
6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's
7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick
8.. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.
9.. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko..
11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.
12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.
13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.
14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.
15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.
16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.
17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.
18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.
19. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.
20. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.
21. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer
Now, admit it. At least one of these made you smile
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The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. - Carl Rogers
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BarbaraD
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Hugs to ya
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Re: Figure everyone can use a smile on Monday Morn
« Reply #1 on: Oct 18th, 2004, 11:50am » |
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Almost as good as O2 --- Thanks T
Hugs BD
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What don't kill ya, Makes ya stonger!
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broomhilda
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Ride it!
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Re: Figure everyone can use a smile on Monday Morn
« Reply #2 on: Oct 18th, 2004, 12:29pm » |
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 Thanks for the smiles today Tia!!!
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Suck it up Princess...
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TomM
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Re: Figure everyone can use a smile on Monday Morn
« Reply #3 on: Oct 18th, 2004, 1:10pm » |
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on Oct 18th, 2004, 10:57am, Tiannia wrote:
5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!
7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick
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LMAO! These 2 have Gary Larson (Farside) written all over them.
TomM
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"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I'll go fishing."
--Thoreau--
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ArCane
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Onward through the fog
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Re: Figure everyone can use a smile on Monday Morn
« Reply #4 on: Oct 18th, 2004, 1:28pm » |
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Thanks Tiannia!!
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Alchemy’s First Law of Equivalent Exchange: To obtain, something of equal value must be lost.
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echo
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Chronic and still alive --- I Win!
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Re: Figure everyone can use a smile on Monday Morn
« Reply #5 on: Oct 18th, 2004, 1:42pm » |
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on Oct 18th, 2004, 10:57am, Tiannia wrote:You can't read this and stay in a bad mood !
15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.
Now, admit it. At least one of these made you smile |
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What do you call a dog with no legs?
Nothing - he won't come anyway.
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"If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it".
Proud Dad of a US Marine, and a former Marine turned Police Officer.
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Tiannia
New Board Hall of Famer
Life does not apologies......
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Posts: 3241
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Re: Figure everyone can use a smile on Monday Morn
« Reply #6 on: Oct 18th, 2004, 3:04pm » |
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on Oct 18th, 2004, 1:42pm, echo wrote:
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Nothing - he won't come anyway.
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Actually the problem that I am having is my 2 yr old son s calling my dogs "Fucker" and "A$$hole", cause that is all my husband calls them. 
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The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. - Carl Rogers
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TomM
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Posts: 2006
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Re: Figure everyone can use a smile on Monday Morn
« Reply #7 on: Oct 18th, 2004, 3:08pm » |
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on Oct 18th, 2004, 3:04pm, Tiannia wrote:
Actually the problem that I am having is my 2 yr old son s calling my dogs "Fucker" and "A$$hole", cause that is all my husband calls them. |
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That's better than 'Son-of-a-Bitch' or 'God-Dammitt' IMHO. 
I hear 'Focker' instead. Don't you?
TomM
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| « Last Edit: Oct 18th, 2004, 3:10pm by TomM » |
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"Everyone should believe in something. I believe I'll go fishing."
--Thoreau--
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catlind
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Taz taught me the cluster dance
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Re: Figure everyone can use a smile on Monday Morn
« Reply #8 on: Oct 18th, 2004, 3:11pm » |
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How fast is Milk?
It's pastyereyes before you know it.
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A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart
If yer gonna be stupid, ya gotta be tough
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Killroy 2.0
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Kilroy 2.0 is Here! Kilroy 2.0 is Everywhere!
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Re: Figure everyone can use a smile on Monday Morn
« Reply #9 on: Oct 18th, 2004, 4:36pm » |
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on Oct 18th, 2004, 3:11pm, catlind wrote:How fast is Milk?
It's pastyereyes before you know it. |
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Do the walls speak to you? Do you follow the Geek Messiah? DO YOU COMPLY?!
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Charlie
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Happy to be here
  
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Re: Figure everyone can use a smile on Monday Morn
« Reply #10 on: Oct 18th, 2004, 9:41pm » |
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Thanks T.
Charlie
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There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
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cschick
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Re: Figure everyone can use a smile on Monday Morn
« Reply #11 on: Oct 18th, 2004, 9:49pm » |
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I love cheesy jokes!! Thanks!
Karen
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