Author |
Topic: The cat needs help.... got any ideas? (Read 200 times) |
|
AlienSpaceBabe
Guest
|
 |
The cat needs help.... got any ideas?
« on: Oct 13th, 2004, 7:57pm » |
 Quote  Modify
 Remove
|
Hello all!
The cat is writing a letter to my son who is in basic training right now. The cat is sorta stuck. Can anyone help him out of his writer's block?
This is what he's written so far:
Dear "Big Man called Mike,"
It has been very quiet here without you. Don't worry about the big old lady you call Mom - I'm doing an excellent job as watch-cat of the house.
Today I slept on the yellow cube, then watched my dinner (oh, YUM!) flit around outside, flapping their wings against the breeze. Just wait until I finally lure them in... I am a very good stalker, you know!
It's frustrating here sometimes. I eat well, then cough it up for the big old lady to see. What does she do? She picks it up and throws it out! All that hard work wasted! Or I finally get the litter box just the way I like it (half chunky, half smooth) and the big old lady comes downstairs and makes it all smooth again! I have to give up 3 or 4 naps in order to get it just right again.
I don't know what's going on with the big old lady, or the big young lady who comes sometimes. It's playtime but they both make loud roaring noises then snort and tell me I should let them sleep because it's 2am. Geez, what's their problem?! The big old lady opens the window then yells at me for stepping on her face. The big old lady's face has a big lump in the middle - isn't that meant to climb?
Yesterday there was a fly between the windows in the room with the food. Boy, did I ever terrorize it! Every time it moved, I swatted at it! We must have played together for hours! I hope we can play together again soon.
Did you know that the big old lady takes off her fur to bathe? What a waste of time! All she has to do is lick herself clean... okay, so maybe there's a hairball or two - but I just leave them as wet, slimy presents for the big old lady to step on when her feet are bare. I think she likes it when I do that because she always yells for me to come there! I'm such a good watch-cat that I even leave her presents!
|
| « Last Edit: Oct 13th, 2004, 9:17pm by AlienSpaceBabe » |
 IP Logged |
|
|
|
Renee
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
May we all find some pf time! Is it summer yet?
Gender: 
Posts: 1060
|
|
Re: The cat needs help.... got any ideas?
« Reply #1 on: Oct 13th, 2004, 10:41pm » |
Quote Modify
|
Mr. Cat,
You have done very well thus far.
Do you miss your Big Man Called Mike? If so, you might want to put that in your letter as well. You know, something about how Big Man Called Mike is not here for you to claim as your own?
Has Big Man Called Mike called you on the phone yet? You could ream his butt for not calling you? What did you and Big Man Called Mike do together that you are really missing now? You might want to bring that up as well.
Many purrs headed your way,
Tootles Mom
|
|
IP Logged |
23 years of battling the beast, 9 years chronic......uneducated docs/nurses make me irate.
The fungus among us is for real!
|
|
|
Jeepgun
Guest
|
|
Re: The cat needs help.... got any ideas?
« Reply #2 on: Oct 14th, 2004, 9:32am » |
Quote Modify
Remove
|
Wow.... That's quite a caring cat!
I got a letter from my cat, once. (A big ol' Maine Coon) It read, "Servant, clean out my litter box, get me some different food, and STFU!!! Next time you disturb one of my naps, I'm going to scratch your eyeballs out and shit on your pillow. -Queen Tillie
|
|
IP Logged |
|
|
|
Ronny
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Yabba Dabba Doo
 
Gender: 
Posts: 914
|
|
Re: The cat needs help.... got any ideas?
« Reply #3 on: Oct 14th, 2004, 2:30pm » |
Quote Modify
|
LMAO
 
|
|
IP Logged |
Count your rainbows, not your thunderstorms.
|
|
|
Charlie
CH.com Alumnus
New Board Hall of Famer
Happy to be here
   
Gender:
Posts: 14968
|
|
Re: The cat needs help.... got any ideas?
« Reply #4 on: Oct 14th, 2004, 2:56pm » |
Quote Modify
|
How about:
"I'm going to get you for using me to clean the toilet bowl. No more dead mice and moles here buddy and enjoy the new upholstery while you can."
Charlie
|
| « Last Edit: Oct 14th, 2004, 2:57pm by Charlie » |
IP Logged |
There is nothing more satisfying than being shot at without result---Winston Churchill
|
|
|
|
|
|
Home
Help
Search
Members
Member Map
Login
Register
Reply
Notify of replies
Send Topic
Print
test rss