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Topic: Funny (not CH) (Read 126 times) |
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K-9
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Funny (not CH)
« on: Oct 7th, 2004, 8:33pm » |
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A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the
counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd
really rather have a job.
The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent.
We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a
chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive
around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. You'll
be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to
satisfy her sexual urges. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment above the
garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year".
The guy says, "You're bullshittin'me!"
The social worker says, "Yeah, well, you started it."
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Sean_C
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I'll have to remember that one
Sean...........................
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broomhilda
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Ride it!
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Re: Funny (not CH)
« Reply #2 on: Oct 7th, 2004, 8:58pm » |
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Sending this to my friends at the office tomorrow, thanks!!!!!!!!!!
Social workers do it in the field!!! 
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Suck it up Princess...
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Mr. Happy
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Re: Funny (not CH)
« Reply #3 on: Oct 7th, 2004, 9:02pm » |
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Hey.....there's a whole section of the board devoted to jokes and funnies. Quit clogging up the General section, which is devoted solely to ummmmmm.....other stuff. Learn the rules, K-9, and quit feeding the trolls, Sean.
The nerve of some people,
RJ
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"
The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"
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May those who don't want any
Have memories of never getting any.
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K-9
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Re: Funny (not CH)
« Reply #4 on: Oct 7th, 2004, 9:12pm » |
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Rules? What rules?!?
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Sean_C
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That rocks Hap
Sean.........................
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brain_cramps
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Re: Funny (not CH)
« Reply #6 on: Oct 7th, 2004, 9:20pm » |
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Kinda like the 3 most common lies heard up here:
1 - "The check is in the mail."
2 - "I gave at the office."
3 - "Hi! I'm from Revenue Canada (IRS) and I'm here to help you." 
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Kevin_M
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withered branches grow green again.
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Re: Funny (not CH)
« Reply #7 on: Oct 7th, 2004, 9:40pm » |
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on Oct 7th, 2004, 9:02pm, Mr. Happy wrote:"I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"
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going to dinner with an ex this weekend, now I've got JUST the joke for her.
 hap
Kevin M
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