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   Author  Topic: Hide and go suck.  (sort of rated R)  (Read 812 times)
Jayne
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Hide and go suck.  (sort of rated R)
« on: Oct 1st, 2004, 9:48pm »
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Well again I have another story for you.  (TRUE STORY)
 
This happened to me a few years ago.
 
One night I was getting ready to go out with a male aquaintance.
 It had been a very long time since I had played the horizontal tango with anyone, and I was keeping my fingers crossed that tonight was the night. I needed it damn it.
I knew from previous meetings with him that he was quite the neat freak.  I  had sweated my non exsitant balls off cleaning that day.  
With everything spick and span I did a quick look through my apartment for anything that shouldn't be seen.  
I was just about to close my bedroom door, when my oxygen tank thankfully caught my eye. "Oh shit, that wouldn't have been good. Not very sexy now is it?" I said to myself as I hurriedly wheeled it into my walk in closet.
 
Drew didn't know anything about my headaches at all.
 
Well, he arrived and made a comment about how clean my place was. "Oh really" I said nonchalantly, "I think it needs a good sping clean"
 
Well, we had a great night out which eventually lead to a night cap back at my place.
The night cap led to the tango. We both decided he should stay the night.
 
It was about 2.30 am and I awoke to a CH coming on fast and furious. "No, no, no, no, not now." It was ramping up to a 10 rapidly. I had to do something, I couldn't just lay there and deny the pain.
I quietly crawled out of my bed trying not to waken Drew. I stumbled around in the darkness, naked, feeling  for the door handle to my walk in closet.
I opened the door and stumbled over clothes and shoes that I had thrown in there in my cleaning frenzy.
I found my tank, turned it on, turned off the light and started to huff my 02. My head was raging.
 
A few minutes later I hear Drew shout "Jayne.....where are you?"
" Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. " What should I do? Should I ignore him and he might come looking for me in here and find this naked woman he's just shagged lying on top of a pile of houshold debris sucking the life out of an oxygen tank?
What to say, what to say, what to say? (All the while my head is still on fire)
 
Well it just came out of my mouth.
 
"I'm re-arranging me shoes!"
 
"errrr.......ok then" was his reply.
 
Needless to say I never saw Drew again. He probably thought I was way too much of a neat freak for him. Undecided
« Last Edit: Oct 1st, 2004, 9:57pm by Jayne » IP Logged

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Re: Hide and go suck.  (sort of rated R)
« Reply #1 on: Oct 1st, 2004, 9:54pm »
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ROFLMAO!! Hilarious!!
 
Poor Jayne...  laugh hug
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Re: Hide and go suck.  (sort of rated R)
« Reply #2 on: Oct 1st, 2004, 10:00pm »
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LMAO!!! Jayne, I just tried to put myself in poor Drew's place. I can just imagine waking up to the sound of your heavy breathing coming from the closet. "What're you doing?"........................(pause)...................."Rearanging my shoes."
 
One can only imagine what he thought you were really doing in there! No wonder you never heard from him again!
 
.........................alley laugh
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Re: Hide and go suck.  (sort of rated R)
« Reply #3 on: Oct 1st, 2004, 10:01pm »
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middle-of-the-night buck-naked closet cleaner?  as for myself, I would be curious enough to call again Grin
 
too funny  Grin
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E-Double
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Re: Hide and go suck.  (sort of rated R)
« Reply #4 on: Oct 1st, 2004, 10:06pm »
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Too funny!!! laugh
 
I think I would have asked for a lady to polish my shoes when she was done rearranging then to polish my knob Wink
 
oops!! did I say that Grin
 
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Re: Hide and go suck.  (sort of rated R)
« Reply #5 on: Oct 1st, 2004, 10:19pm »
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Ahhhhhhhhh, Jayne ......... how did ya know I needed that ?????  LMAO at your thread and all of the responses.  Now tomorrow and I can start all over again with a smile.
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Re: Hide and go suck.  (sort of rated R)
« Reply #6 on: Oct 1st, 2004, 10:34pm »
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Grin Grin Grin
 
Sean...........................
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broomhilda
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Re: Hide and go suck.  (sort of rated R)
« Reply #7 on: Oct 1st, 2004, 10:36pm »
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LMFAO great comeback laugh Sorry Jayne, good night gone bad.......
 
Thanks for the smiles today!!!
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Re: Hide and go suck.  (sort of rated R)
« Reply #8 on: Oct 1st, 2004, 10:39pm »
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rearranging your shoes?
you crack me up Jayne...  laugh
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Re: Hide and go suck.  (sort of rated R)
« Reply #9 on: Oct 1st, 2004, 10:55pm »
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God am I ever boring..................... LMAO Jaynie.......... love ree
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Re: Hide and go suck.  (sort of rated R)
« Reply #10 on: Oct 2nd, 2004, 8:56am »
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Shoulda done him in the closet too Jayne...then in the "bathtub" laugh laugh laugh   Luke
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Re: Hide and go suck.  (sort of rated R)
« Reply #11 on: Oct 3rd, 2004, 12:20am »
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Jayne dear, you can lie naked in my closet anytime. Judy just might object tho.
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Re: Hide and go suck.  (sort of rated R)
« Reply #12 on: Oct 3rd, 2004, 9:36am »
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laugh laugh laugh
 
You did it again!
Thank You.
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Re: Hide and go suck.  (sort of rated R)
« Reply #13 on: Oct 3rd, 2004, 9:46am »
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Jayne, you ignorant sl ut Grin
« Last Edit: Oct 3rd, 2004, 9:47am by jonny » IP Logged
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Re: Hide and go suck.  (sort of rated R)
« Reply #14 on: Oct 3rd, 2004, 9:53am »
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too funny... Smiley
 
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Re: Hide and go suck.  (sort of rated R)
« Reply #15 on: Oct 3rd, 2004, 6:45pm »
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Wonderful,
 
need ot remember that, but it just don't sound the same if i am rearranging boots! (all 2 pair)
 Grin
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don
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Re: Hide and go suck.  (sort of rated R)
« Reply #16 on: Oct 3rd, 2004, 7:27pm »
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Gonna disguise myself as an oxygen tank and go hide in your closet.
« Last Edit: Oct 3rd, 2004, 7:28pm by don » IP Logged
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Re: Hide and go suck.  (sort of rated R)
« Reply #17 on: Oct 4th, 2004, 9:11am »
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I thought for sure this story was going down another path...since you were on your knees and all... Grin
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Re: Hide and go suck.  (sort of rated R)
« Reply #18 on: Oct 4th, 2004, 9:28am »
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on Oct 1st, 2004, 9:48pm, Jayne wrote:
Needless to say I never saw Drew again. He probably thought I was way too much of a neat freak for him. Undecided

 
Either that or you are a janky lay.    Grin
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Jayne
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Re: Hide and go suck.  (sort of rated R)
« Reply #19 on: Oct 4th, 2004, 9:52am »
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on Oct 4th, 2004, 9:28am, Rock_Lobster wrote:

 
Either that or you are a janky lay.    Grin

 
Do you know that never crossed my mind??????
 
*scratching my head and pondering* Cry
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Re: Hide and go suck.  (sort of rated R)
« Reply #20 on: Oct 4th, 2004, 12:08pm »
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on Oct 4th, 2004, 9:52am, Jayne wrote:

*scratching my head and pondering* Cry

 
I would not worry much about it.  As far as most of us Y-chromies are concerned, there is no such thing as bad pootang.  
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Re: Hide and go suck.  (sort of rated R)
« Reply #21 on: Oct 4th, 2004, 12:30pm »
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Here ya go Jayne. You can take this one into the closet with you.
 
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Re: Hide and go suck.  (sort of rated R)
« Reply #22 on: Oct 4th, 2004, 12:35pm »
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on Oct 4th, 2004, 12:08pm, Rock_Lobster wrote:

 
I would not worry much about it.  As far as most of us Y-chromies are concerned, there is no such thing as bad pootang.  

 
mmmm, you really know how to talk to the ladies Rock  Grin
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Re: Hide and go suck.  (sort of rated R)
« Reply #23 on: Oct 4th, 2004, 12:37pm »
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Quote:
Either that or you are a janky lay

 
That can easily be determined. When are you free?
 
Just trying to help.  Cool
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Lobster
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Re: Hide and go suck.  (sort of rated R)
« Reply #24 on: Oct 4th, 2004, 12:48pm »
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on Oct 4th, 2004, 12:35pm, john_d wrote:
mmmm, you really know how to talk to the ladies Rock  Grin

 
Just throwing it in the strike zone for my brothers!  Don wisely took advantage of it.  Would you have replied correctly, you would have been hit on by now:
 
john_d:  You certainly are a lout, Herr Lobster!
 
random_ch_female:  I agree, john_d!  It is obvious that you are a caring and sincere fellow.  You sleeping with anyone tonight?
 
 Grin Grin
 
/taking the bullet
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