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Topic: God's havin' a good laugh at me. (Read 776 times) |
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Jayne
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God's havin' a good laugh at me.
« on: Sep 28th, 2004, 9:45pm » |
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My bloody life 
So, the day before yesterday I was feeling quite lonley. ( This happens to me every now and again)
I might appear to have a lot of confidence, but can be quite shy when I take a liking to a fella. So unless they ask me out, nothing's going to happen.
So I said a little prayer to the man above and asked him to send a man that would ask me out.
Well he came today!!!!
I was working at my friends shop for him and was sitting there reading the clusterboard, when in walks this man. He started talking and talking and talking to me (he was driving me nuts with his jabbering) and eventually asked me out to dinner.
Please let me describe him.....
I'll start with his age....approx 62
Then I'll describe him head to toe.
His hair was permed and sprayed and BIG!!!
he had blood hound eyes.
He was wearing a MASSIVE gold chain that hung to his belly that had a huge green stone in the centre of the pendant. There were grey hairs popping out all over the top of his t shirt. He had a sprarkly HUGE diamond ring and bracelet on. I couldn't see his belt buckle because his belly was hanging over his belt and covered his crotch area. He had shorts on. He was wearing socks that were pulled up to his knees, and a pair of Jesus sandals.
I politley said, "I awfully flattered, but my boyfriend would not understand it"
He proceeds to say "everyone's got a boyfriend" 
He eventually left and I looked up to the heavens and said....."Oh cheers, it's nice to know your listening"
I bet you the man above was slapping his thigh over that one.
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If you haven't laughed today, it's been a wasted day. 
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BobG
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Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
« Reply #1 on: Sep 28th, 2004, 9:49pm » |
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LMAO
I think there's a pimp joke in there somewhere but I ain't going to say it.
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Jonny
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Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
« Reply #2 on: Sep 28th, 2004, 9:50pm » |
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Christ....we should have hooked up at the convention.....I have limited grey hairs.......LOL
........................................jonny
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john_d
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Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
« Reply #3 on: Sep 28th, 2004, 9:51pm » |
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LOL, you are an awesome story teller. Too bad you don't live in florida, i'd love to spend some time with a interesting fellow clusterhead. 
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Donna_D.
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Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
« Reply #4 on: Sep 28th, 2004, 9:57pm » |
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Be careful what you ask for.....
You JUST MIGHT GET IT!!
Love ya Sis!
DD
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don
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Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
« Reply #5 on: Sep 28th, 2004, 10:03pm » |
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You passed up a date with Al Sharpton?
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john_d
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Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
« Reply #6 on: Sep 28th, 2004, 10:03pm » |
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on Sep 28th, 2004, 9:50pm, Jonny wrote:Christ....we should have hooked up at the convention.....I have limited grey hairs.......LOL
........................................jonny |
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back off Jonny 
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Cathi04
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Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
« Reply #7 on: Sep 28th, 2004, 10:28pm » |
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OMG..Jayne.....You MUST be careful what you wish for....but, lovey....you MIGHT get to know em better by looking up for awhile...........
Just my opinion..I could be wrong................
(nono,... my eyes are UP HERE!! Eyes! On my face!! EYESS!!!)
..frankly, I cant see one good reason why men arent flocking to your door...umm, err.. have ya heard about Victoria's Secret???? 
Cathi...trying to get traction, before Jayne gets running....
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Peppermint
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Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
« Reply #8 on: Sep 28th, 2004, 10:40pm » |
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on Sep 28th, 2004, 9:45pm, Jayne wrote:My bloody life
So, the day before yesterday I was feeling quite lonley. ( This happens to me every now and again)
I might appear to have a lot of confidence, but can be quite shy when I take a liking to a fella. So unless they ask me out, nothing's going to happen.
So I said a little prayer to the man above and asked him to send a man that would ask me out.
Well he came today!!!!
I was working at my friends shop for him and was sitting there reading the clusterboard, when in walks this man. He started talking and talking and talking to me (he was driving me nuts with his jabbering) and eventually asked me out to dinner.
Please let me describe him.....
I'll start with his age....approx 62
Then I'll describe him head to toe.
His hair was permed and sprayed and BIG!!!
he had blood hound eyes.
He was wearing a MASSIVE gold chain that hung to his belly that had a huge green stone in the centre of the pendant. There were grey hairs popping out all over the top of his t shirt. He had a sprarkly HUGE diamond ring and bracelet on. I couldn't see his belt buckle because his belly was hanging over his belt and covered his crotch area. He had shorts on. He was wearing socks that were pulled up to his knees, and a pair of Jesus sandals.
I politley said, "I awfully flattered, but my boyfriend would not understand it"
He proceeds to say "everyone's got a boyfriend"
He eventually left and I looked up to the heavens and said....."Oh cheers, it's nice to know your listening"
I bet you the man above was slapping his thigh over that one.
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Damn I thought you were describing Elvis at first... they say he's still alive!!
Bloody shame for the waggers......but welcome to mY world...except its usually "yo, yo baby... wassshhhuuuup??!!" 
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| « Last Edit: Sep 28th, 2004, 10:40pm by Peppermint » |
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Kevin_M
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Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
« Reply #9 on: Sep 28th, 2004, 11:46pm » |
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on Sep 28th, 2004, 9:45pm, Jayne wrote:| but can be quite shy when I take a liking to a fella. |
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Soooooo.....your point being.......you got shy again because you really took a liking to this fella???
you giddy thing,
Kevin M
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OneEyeBlind
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Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
« Reply #10 on: Sep 28th, 2004, 11:55pm » |
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OMG, I am LMAO Jayne !!!!!!!! You are right, just be careful what ya pray for. I was praying that the sewer hole in my backyard would be covered ...... was tired of looking at it and tired of fighting with the borough to clean it up and plant grass ....... and along came a FLOOD (live in PA and yea the hurricanes made it this far). Told my neighbors, I would quit praying !!!!!!!!
I'm still laughing !!!!!!!!!!!!
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Lizzie2
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Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
« Reply #11 on: Sep 28th, 2004, 11:58pm » |
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on Sep 28th, 2004, 9:57pm, Donna_D. wrote:]
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That looks like the "Get in my BELLY!" guy from Austin Powers 2.
Jayne...come visit me and we'll pick up some hottie doctors at the hospital where I go to school and work!! I have no confidence either, but with a friend around...maybe we can both work together to find some nice cute ones!!
Luv ya,
Lizzie
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Charlie
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Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
« Reply #12 on: Sep 29th, 2004, 12:45am » |
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Tsk tsk Jayne:
That's what you get for being so.......well-constructed  
Charlie
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Jeepgun
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Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
« Reply #13 on: Sep 29th, 2004, 8:26am » |
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I can't believe you passed up that big hunka hunka burnin' love... ROFL!
Poor Jayne... 
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Leesa
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Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
« Reply #14 on: Sep 29th, 2004, 1:35pm » |
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LMMFAOROTFPIMP
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ozzy
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Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
« Reply #15 on: Sep 29th, 2004, 2:08pm » |
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You chicks and your impossible standards....
So you had to pass on a healthy, outgoing, seasoned guy with money?
No wonder..
Ozzy.
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Linda_Howell
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Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
« Reply #16 on: Sep 29th, 2004, 4:15pm » |
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I swear Jayne...with the stories you've told and the stories some of us have heard Elaine tell, you two should get together and write a book. You'd both be rich and you could then subsidize the research for a cure for cluster headaches and everyone would then bow down at your feet. You would also then attract a more ...uh..um...desirable dating list. 
Linda
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Kindness, is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us.
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Jeepgun
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Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
« Reply #17 on: Sep 29th, 2004, 4:23pm » |
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Yeah, Jayne! Seriously: You could do something similar to Erma Brombeck. It sounds like a silly idea, but believe me, the masses LOVE that kind of stuff, and you are amazingly talented and funny. (At least consider the idea?)
-Frank
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Linda_Howell
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Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
« Reply #18 on: Sep 29th, 2004, 4:59pm » |
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Sure Frank. Steal MY idea.
In the credits dept. I want it known that it was MY
idea Jayne. 
Linda
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Kindness, is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us.
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Jeepgun
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Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
« Reply #19 on: Sep 29th, 2004, 5:03pm » |
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What Linda said! It was all her idea! I'm just sending up encouragement and agreement!
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Grandma_Sweet_Boy
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Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
« Reply #20 on: Sep 29th, 2004, 7:36pm » |
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Jayne - your posts never fail to bring a smile to my face or an outright fit of the giggles. From Lucy to the men (not) in your life you have entertained me with your humour!
Although the book idea previously presented is an excellent one, frankly, I think you could make an absolute killing out of stand up comedy. I can see you on the Jay Leno show now!!!
Thanks just for being you!
Carol
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Linda_Howell
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Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
« Reply #21 on: Sep 29th, 2004, 7:44pm » |
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Carol, You should have seen her in Nashville.
The lady is a..a...uh...a gem.
Linda
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Kindness, is gladdening the hearts of those who are traveling the dark journey with us.
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Jayne
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Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
« Reply #22 on: Sep 29th, 2004, 7:57pm » |
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*Blush*
thank you *blush again*
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If you haven't laughed today, it's been a wasted day.
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BlueMeanie
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Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
« Reply #23 on: Sep 29th, 2004, 8:38pm » |
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Hi Jayne,
I just wanted to know why you have such a problem with a 62 year old gray haired beer bellied man with sandals. On top of that he seems to have money.
Hell, I'll be 62 one day and may just be looking for a fine young babe to spend my money on.
You sure do tell some funny stories. LMAO
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Jayne
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Re: God's havin' a good laugh at me.
« Reply #24 on: Sep 29th, 2004, 8:44pm » |
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Ok Ok Ok Ok......
I would hate you all to think I am shallow....
I'll lay back and think of Clusterville. 
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| « Last Edit: Sep 29th, 2004, 8:46pm by Jayne » |
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If you haven't laughed today, it's been a wasted day.
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